To Make You Feel My Love
by Banterer
Summary: Set post "Countdown" Beckett is ready to admit her feelings for Castle and they move their relationship to the next level.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first attempt at FanFic. I am a serious Castle fan. I love everything about the show and the characters, so I thought I would give it a go. This will be pretty fluffy. I don't enjoy too much angst, but it won't be all bunnies and sunshine either, life isn't that perfect.**

**This is set about a month or so post "Countdown" and will incorporate the Fundraiser that Castle is hosting in honor of Beckett's Mom. I figure this to be a long one, I tend to romanticize almost everything, so if it is too sappy for you, let me know. Again, this is my first time; I hope I don't screw it up too badly.**

**I guess a disclaimer is customary, but I don't do anything normally, so here goes...**

**I own my dog but these characters aren't anything like my dog except in that I love them both...**

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Kate's face flashed to red instantly at the news Josh just gave her. He knew he was in for a tongue lashing if he didn't talk quickly.

"Look Kate, I'm a Doctor and my patient needs this surgery. I can't put it off any longer. I tried to schedule it as early as possible, but I do have to consider the surgical team, you know."

Kate opened her mouth to speak, but he cut her off again, "I know I promised I would attend the Fundraiser with you tomorrow night but things come up, work gets in the way. You of all people should know that. Now I am done arguing about this. I will get to your little event if I can, but I don't see what the fuss is all about!" Josh's rant ended at a much higher decibel than when it began.

His callousness caused the words in Kate's head to die before they made it to her mouth. She was too emotional to speak. Instead she stomped across her living room right past Josh. After crossing the threshold of her bedroom, she slammed the door behind her. She hoped the overdramatic action would have the desired effect and he would leave. She flopped down on her bed and began to cry. She wasn't crying because of the words Josh had said. She wasn't crying because she knew she was about to end the relationship with him. She cried, just as she had done every day for the last month, because of the time she knew she was wasting.

Kate closed her eyes and thought back to just the month prior, she and Castle were sitting across from each other in the HAZMAT tent. Had she really just poured her heart out to Richard Castle? Had she really just told him that she was looking for someone that would be there for her and her for him? Then she flashed to their time in the freezer. Did she actually finish her sentence? For the life of her she couldn't remember. Even now, sitting on her bed, she shivered at the memory of the cold as it seeped into her bones, but her cheeks warmed at the memory of how good it felt to be wrapped in Castle's arms. She realized that it wasn't just the imminent threat of death that prompted her to confess her feelings to him; she just needed him to know. But she couldn't remember if she actually said it, or if she had, she wasn't sure if Castle was even conscious to hear it.

_"Castle, I want you to know how much I lo..." _

That's all she remembered. Did she finish the sentence? Then just ten hours later, together they faced almost certain death again. There was no time for words, just the mutual need to hold each other's hand and face eternity in each other's eyes. When Castle pulled the wires from that bomb, saving them and half of Manhattan in the process, she wanted to hold onto him forever. Later that day while recounting the events of the last forty-eight hours to the team, she could feel the emotion in Castle's voice when he told the group the he knew exactly how lucky he was. Bur it is what happened a few minutes later that has haunted her every day for the last month.

Josh!

How could she have even thought of trying to make things work with him? She knew he wasn't her _one and done_. She had known that since the beginning. Why else would she have one foot out the door? Sure, he was fun, handsome and successful. Of course his busy life allowed her to be independent, but deep down independence wasn't what she wanted anymore. Now she knew what she wanted. Someone to be there for her, someone to have fun with, but also someone to be able to share her sadness with. Someone that would enjoy the little moments in life just as much as the big ones. Someone whose loyalty and dedication to his family was unwavering. Yes, she knew what she wanted, who she wanted. But after all of her repeated rejections, did he want her? There was a time she was sure he did, but what about now? She saw the look in Castle's eyes when Josh walked into the precinct that night. It was the same look he had when she dated Demming last year. The same look he had when they teamed with Will to solve a kidnapping case two years earlier.

Wow, two years. She almost couldn't believe it had been that long. On one hand it seemed like just yesterday that he had come into her life. A whirlwind of childishness full of inappropriate humor and bucketfuls of sexual innuendo and drama. Kate chuckled out loud at the memory of herself calling him a nine-year-old on a sugar rush. Two years of him invading her personal space both physically and emotionally. But then again, she couldn't remember what life was like before Castle. She knew that now she laughed allot more and that he made her job a lot more fun. But he made differences in other ways, as well. As a self professed home body, Kate didn't let people in very easily. Those she did let in only saw what she allowed them to see. She spent eighty hours a week working; delving into the darkness of the Human Condition. The rest of the time she spent harboring the pain of the loss of her Mother. Somehow Castle even managed to breakthrough those walls, as no one else before him had. Now he was the only one that she trusted with the pain of that tragedy. Rick Castle, the man whose books helped her through the darkest time in her life was now the only man she wanted, needed by her side whenever a new lead broke in the decade old case. Actually, it was because of him that she was closer to solving the murder of Johanna Beckett than she had ever been after years of investigating it on her own.

Kate threw herself down onto her back. She'd stopped crying but there was still an ache in her chest. She knew what she needed to do. Knew she needed to find out once and for all if Rick Castle wanted her as much as she wanted him.

But first, to get rid of the obstacle currently sitting in her living room.

Kate stood up, took a deep breath, dried her eyes and took a moment to gather up a few things. She walked out of her bedroom and across the living room to where Josh was sitting watching TV. Clearly he hadn't taken the hint she gave earlier. Actually, she was glad he hadn't, she wanted to get this over with. She didn't like the idea of hurting him, but she had no choice.

Josh looked up as she approached and began to speak, "Kate, I'm sorry I..." His words trailed off as he caught a glimpse of the items in her arms. "What is this? Why do you have my things?"

"Josh, this isn't going to work. You're a sweet guy but you aren't the one for me. I am sorry that I wasted your time by not ending this sooner." Kate's voice was calm but held a great amount of conviction.

"You're dumping me because I can't make it to some stupid work party? Seriously!" Josh sounded both hurt and angry at the same time.

Kate's breath hitched in her chest for a moment. Not because Josh had called the fundraiser being hosted in her mother's honor stupid, but because she felt guilty; guilty that she'd wasted almost a year of his life. She realized now that he had no idea how important this night, how important her Mother's memory was to her, because she had never told him. This relationship was ending for many reasons, but most importantly because she'd never actually let it begin in the first place, and for that she was truly sorry. She took a deep breath and began to explain as best she could.

"Josh, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that I never gave you a chance. My heart belonged to someone else long before I met you. In a way I was using you to deny my own feelings. I truly apologize, but please, you need to take your stuff and go."

Josh's eyes flashed to anger in an instant. The hurt Kate had seen just a few minutes ago was nowhere to be found. Instead of leaving, Josh stood ready to fight. Kate had a feeling the fight was more for his ego than it was for her.

"You're dumping me for HIM!" Josh's voice dripped with disdain.

Kate tried to keep things civil but her voice came out an octave higher than she'd anticipated, "Look, this isn't about him. This is about me and I say we're over. Please leave!"

Josh grabbed his things from Kate's grasp and flew out the front door. She felt a sense of relief. Now she needed to figure out what she should say to Castle. How she would say it. It soon became evident that an early morning visit to the morgue would be in order.


	2. Chapter 2

**Ok, I must admit I always found it a little odd when other writers gushed over the reviews received. But then I couldn't help but smile when I read the reviews I received for my first chapter. Thank you everyone.**

**I don't own them, because I am pretty sure that would be considered slavery…**

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Beckett strolled into the twelfth precinct around six o'clock the next morning. Normally she would've had the place to herself for at least another hour or so; she preferred it that way. If they had an active case she would normally review the murder board with fresh eyes and without distraction from her team. Or if paperwork was on tap for the day she would take advantage of the fact that her shadow was not yet sitting in his chair just staring at her; she still found that creepy.

Today however was different. The bullpen was bustling with activity even at this early hour. There were two reasons for this change. The first was because it was Good Friday and many of the detectives wanted to get an early jump start on the holiday weekend with their families. However, a totally different reason had Ryan and Esposito up before the sun this morning. Due to the buzz surrounding the gala, as Castle was calling it, Captain Montgomery had ordered Beckett and her team to be out of his sight by noon today. He promised if a body dropped, no matter how freaky the circumstance, the case would go to Karpowski's team.

Beckett was glad to have been given the extra time off to prepare for the evening. Partly because she hadn't yet decided which of the three dresses Castle had delivered to her apartment this week, she was going to wear. But mostly because she needed time to figure out how she was going to go about telling Castle how she felt about him. And, since it would be at least three hours before her partner would roll in, she decided now would be the best time to visit the morgue. Beckett walked over to greet the guys on her way to see Lanie.

"Good morning gentlemen, how are we this morning?"

Always the chipper one, Ryan smiled, "Doing great boss. How about you? Are you ready for tonight's festivities? Jenny and I are looking forward to partying Castle style."

Kate rolled her eyes and nodded toward Esposito who had his head resting on his desk, "What's with him?" she asked as she kicked his chair.

Startling to awareness and assuming that the kick came from Ryan, Esposito whined. "Ah come on bro, that wasn't nice. You know Lanie had me up half the night…" His words trailed off as he realized the interruption in his sleep had come from his boss who was now looking at him with an arched eyebrow. "Sorry, I thought Ryan….. Oh never mind. Good morning Beckett." He managed to say as he glared at his partner for not warning him to her arrival.

Beckett smirked with disapproval, "I don't think Lanie would appreciate your willingness to_ kiss and tell_."

"What?" Esposito looked confused, "Oh, I wish that was why she kept me up." His eyes lit up at the thought, but then his brow furrowed a bit. "It took her half the night and at least ten wardrobe changes to decide what she's going to wear to the fundraiser tonight. She had to make sure that she chose something that coordinated with my tux." He sighed in frustration, "Women."

"Hey, watch it, there is a woman standing right in front of you. A woman with a weapon, I might add." Beckett joked.

"Speaking of, why is it that chics have to get ready for these things in groups? Lanie said she's spending the afternoon at your place getting all dolled up." Ryan nodded in agreement to Esposito's question.

Beckett chuckled, "It's not so much about the getting ready. It's so we can talk about boys." With that she sauntered away and hollered back over her shoulder, "Speaking of, if you need me, I'll be in the morgue."

The two detectives smiled as they watched her leave the bullpen. "She seems almost chipper this morning." Ryan remarked as they shrugged at each other.

Behind them they heard the elevator ding and they swiveled around just in time to see Castle making his way to Beckett's desk. He was carrying his signature two cups of coffee and a white pastry bag. The boys could only assume that it contained Beckett's usual.

"Hey Castle, you're up early. Puts a damper on my theory that you're solar powered." As he finished the jab Esposito held his hand out for Ryan to _feed the birds_ and his partner didn't leave him hanging.

"Funny" Castle was a surprisingly serious. "Where's Beckett?"

"She went to see Lanie and since we don't have an active case, I assume they are indulging in some girl talk." Ryan gave the quote sign with his hands as he slowly annunciated the last two words of his sentence.

Castle seemed to perk up a bit, "So, are you guys ready for the party of the year?"

"Oh yeah, you know how to throw a party dude! And thanks to you, I get to spend the evening with my woman and not have to blow a bundle doing it." Esposito joked.

" Jenny and I are looking forward to checking out the deejay to see if we should use him for the wedding."

"Everything I do, I do it for you." Castle said sarcastically. "Anyway, I can't stay long. I have a lot of last minute details to attend to. I just wanted to let you know that I'm arranging to have a car service pick you all up. I just need to know whose place to send them to for you and Lanie." Castle nodded towards Esposito.

"Neither, I've been instructed to pick Lanie up at Beckett's place. They're having a girl's afternoon." Esposito rolled his eyes.

Castle seemed to go somewhere far away as he spoke, "Well then, I guess I will send two cars to her place then; one for you and Lanie and one for Becket and Dr. Motorcycle Boy."

Ryan and Esposito both registered the look on Castle's face as he referred to Beckett's boyfriend. The pair had noticed that look a lot recently. They didn't know what, but something had transpired between their boss and the writer during the bombing case they'd worked with Agent Fallon. The subtle changes in their demeanors when they were together didn't go unnoticed by the pair of seasoned detectives. The fact that Castle had been around less since that case didn't go unnoticed either. But when questioned, both Beckett and Castle had claimed he was just busy with party planning.

Seeing the sadness in their friend's eyes again, Esposito couldn't help but try to comfort him. "Hey Castle, you know he's just a temporary distraction. She'll come around bro."

Castle just swallowed hard and managed a half smile. "See you tonight guys." Castle walked past them and headed towards the morgue.

"Dude, what was that? Lanie really is rubbing off on you!" Ryan punched his partner in the arm as he asked the question.

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"Hey girl" Lanie recognized the sound of Beckett's heels as she entered the morgue. She turned with a wide grin, but it quickly faded when she saw the look on Beckett's face. "Spill it now and get it over with. I am not letting you ruin my day with your drama."

Kate wasn't sure how to begin so she just got to it. "I have a feeling that my news might just make your day actually. I broke up with Josh last night."

Lanie squealed like a teenager at the news, but quickly tried to look somber for her friend. "I'm sorry Kate. I know how much you liked him."

"Oh Lanie, don't lie on my account. I know you never liked that fact that I was dating him. Plus, that's not really what I came to talk about." Kate paused not sure how to continue. "I think I am finally ready to admit what you and everyone else have been telling me for the past two years."

Lanie cracked one of her megawatt smiles but held back the urge to say I told you so. "OK, explain yourself young lady. Are you telling me that you finally came to your senses and broke up with Josh for Castle?"

Kate was slightly surprised at Lanie's self control. She half expected her to do a little happy dance right there among the dead bodies. "No… well… yes? Lanie it isn't really that simple. It's more like I finally removed the last obstacle between myself and the future I just realized I want."

"Huh?"

Kate struggled to explain. "I think I've known for awhile that I'm in love with Castle. I just wasn't ready to admit that I needed anyone, much less him. I've never pictured myself as the type to need a man to make me happy. I've never dreamed of being swept off my feet by a knight in shining armor. Never wanted the white picket fence, two-point-five kids and the dog in the yard."

"And now?" Lanie asked but the question fell on deaf ears. Kate was so lost in her own thoughts, so Lanie just let her continue.

"You know I always felt that I would let my mom down if I didn't bring her killer to justice. Everything I've done in my adult life has been in direct response to that fear. I became a cop, a homicide detective. I devoted my free time to it. I've only entered into relationships that could never amount to anything because I pick men that never mean enough to distract me from solving her case. I put up walls to keep anyone and anything out because I never wanted anything to mean as much to me as she does." Kate kept her eyes on her feet so Lanie couldn't see the shame she felt.

Lanie just repeated the same question she asked previously, "And now?"

Kate's chin quivered and her eyes filled with tears. "Last night I realized that I've already let her down. I let her down every day I spend denying my own heart, every day I spend focusing on the past instead of building a future. Every day that I ignore the one thing she wanted most for me; happiness." Kate breathed in a few ragged breaths trying to maintain her composure. "All she ever wanted for me was to be happy. Why couldn't I just give her that one thing?" She was now crying uncontrollably on Lanie's shoulder.

After a few minutes Lanie spoke and she pulled no punches. "Are you done feeling sorry for yourself? Listen to me girl, I never met your mother but I have a feeling she would be the proudest mother on earth if she were here today. She raised a beautiful, intelligent, caring, compassionate and successful daughter. Her need to see you happy wasn't about pride. It was about love, plain and simple. She wanted _for_ you what she had _because_ of you. Her family was her happiness."

Kate took Lanie's words to heart. She stood up straight and took in a deep breath. "Okay Teacher, now how do you suggest I go about claiming this happiness?"

"Simple Grasshopper, I suggest you just go get'em!"

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"Hey, where's the fire?" Ryan asked Castle as he ran and sat in the chair adjacent to Beckett's desk.

Castle didn't respond. In his head he was replaying the conversation he'd just overheard in the morgue.

_White Picket Fences_

_Two-point-five kids_

_Knight in shining armor_

_Love_

_Castle_

The words became a jumbled mess in his reeling mind. His heart was pounding in his chest and it wasn't because of the sprint he'd just done to beat Beckett back to the bullpen. He hadn't intended on eavesdropping, but as he was approaching the door to the morgue he'd heard a loud squeal. He thought Lanie was hurt so he ran to the entrance but was stopped in his tracks. He heard Kate confessing her feelings for him. For a few seconds the earth stood still. He was surprised he was able to stay upright as his equilibrium failed him momentarily. Once he came back down to earth he listened to her pour her heart out. It pained him to know that he had been the source of such trepidation for her, but his stomach did a flip when the word love crossed those beautiful lips. And to know she was referring to him made it all the more heavenly. He fully understood her hesitation to place her happiness in his hands. His track record with women was less than stellar. But he knew that with her it would be different. He knew that to her he would stick. With her forever meant forever.

Castle couldn't stand outside the morgue any longer. His exuberance would've eventually given him away to the women on the other side of the door. Instead he decided he would wait for Kate at her desk. He had no intention of letting on to what he'd overheard. He was not going to push her. He was going to let her do this her way. However, that didn't do anything to diminish his desire to take her in his arms and, well… just take her. But no, he definitely wouldn't push; nudge maybe, but not push. He let his imagination run wild as he thought about all the ways he might nudge her. Just moments after Castle sat down, Beckett returned to the bullpen, but he'd gotten so lost in his musings that he was unaware of her approach.

Beckett noticed Castle the instant she entered the bullpen. At the sight of him her heart skipped a beat and she missed a step. Thank goodness his back was too her or he would have been able to read her expression in an heartbeat. Of that she was sure. Castle had proven his ability to read her like one of his books soon after they first met, and he'd been honing that skill every day since. He practically had it down to a science. As much as she wanted to admit her feelings to him, she wanted to do this right, nd here in the middle of the precinct was definitely not right.

As she rounded the corner of her desk she saw the odd faraway look on Castle's face. She sat down and began to drink her coffee. It wasn't until she rustled the white bag containing her beloved pastry that he snapped out of it.

Castle looked over at her staring at him, "What?"

"Nothing, I'm just surprised to see you here this early."

"Well actually I can't stay long. I have a lot of last minute details to take care of for tonight." He saw the slight downturn at the corners of her mouth as she tried not to frown. He didn't let on. "But, I had to fulfill my morning responsibility."

"Oh yeah, thanks"

'_Whoa, she is off her game'_ Castle thought to himself. He'd just insinuated that she was his responsibility and all she said was _thank you_? Normally she would have threatened to shoot him. Oh boy, this was going to be fun. But not wanting to overdo it he just said, "You're more than welcome. Hey, I was just telling the guys that I'm arranging a car service to pick everyone up. Since Esposito is meeting Lanie at your place do you want a separate car for you and Dr. Motorcycle Boy, or would a limo for four be better?" He waited with baited breath for her reply.

'_Whew, here goes'_ Kate thought. "Well actually Castle, my plans have changed. I'm no longer a plus one."

"Oh, is Dr Motorcycle Boy on call tonight?" He couldn't help himself.

"He might be, but that's not the reason I am single tonight." She hoped he wouldn't make her say more.

Knowing she didn't want to have to explain herself, and him not needing more clarification, Castle plugged along. "Well then a limo it is, I'll pick you up at five thirty. Oh, and the blue dress goes better with my tux and my eyes."

"No Castle, I didn't mean that you needed to change your plans because of me. I'm sure you have a date for tonight." Kate felt sick to her stomach. She hadn't even considered the thought of him bringing a date until this moment.

"Two actually."

"What?" Her heart sank at his insinuation.

"Yeah, two beautiful redheads with porcelain skin and crystal clear blue eyes. But I'm beginning to think they're only interested in me for my money." Castle chuckled as he saw the understanding seep into her brain. "Really, I've been too busy planning this event to even think about taking someone with me. I just figured I would escort Mother and Alexis. But now, I think it's only appropriate that the host escort the guest of honor, don't you?"

"I'm not the guest of honor, technically my mom is, or should've been." Kate's voice contained a bit of melancholy at the thought.

"Then I guess I will just have to settle for the next best thing." At that Castle jumped up, "I'm off to put the finishing touches on the night of your dreams." He didn't dare look down at her. He knew she would be blushing. He just leaned down and with his lips almost touching her ear he whispered softly, "Until tonight Detective Beckett."

"Can't you just say, 'see you later'?" They'd had a variation of this conversation many times.

"Until tonight just sounds more hopeful."

Kate sat in silence, her mind reeled and her neck tingled in the spot where his breath had warmed it. Until tonight; she could hardly wait. She rolled her eyes at herself. "When did I become such a girl?" But she knew when, she knew exactly when.


	3. Chapter 3

**Technically I do own these Characters, that is if you consider that I have Seasons 1 and 2 and 3 on DVD?**

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Castle's day had been very hectic. He had all the finishing touches to do for the fundraiser, but that was mostly just a matter of making and answering a bunch of phone calls and text messages to the hotel, caterer, florist and deejay. The bulk of his time was spent picking up a few last minute items. He wanted to make tonight special for Kate. He knew it would be difficult for her to be in a room of relative strangers and have to talk about her mother. And now, he knew she had an additional weight on her shoulders; a weight he was thrilled to know she was carrying, but nonetheless, he worried about her stress level. So anything he could do to relieve some of it for her, was his pleasure. Plus, he wanted to see her cut loose a bit. In fact, he remembered back to their undercover work at a night club just a few months back. What he wouldn't give to see her dance like that again.

Finally making it back to the loft around four o'clock, he only had about an hour until the car would arrive for him. He ran to his room to shower and get dressed. He was ready thirty minutes later and walked in the kitchen to see Alexis looking at all the stuff he'd placed on the bar when he got home. She looked up at him with puzzled eyes.

"Dad, the party isn't until six thirty; I thought you said the car service was coming for us around five forty-five? Why are you dressed so early, you're usually running out the door fifteen minutes late with one shoe in your hand?"

In the craziness of the day, Castle had forgotten to tell Alexis and his mother that he wouldn't be riding with them after all. "Oh Pumpkin, I forgot to tell you, there's been a change of plans."

"Dad, don't tell me you had three hundred invitations sent out with the wrong time on them?"

"No, I learned my lesson after your twelfth birthday fiasco, remember?" They chuckled at the memory of twenty preteen girls showing up for a surprise party a day early. Needless to say, it wasn't a surprise after that. "Anyway, I'm escorting Detective Beckett to the party. I have to be at her place by five thirty"

A hopeful look appeared on his daughter's face. "I thought she was going with her boyfriend, what's his name?"

"Actually, after tonight I think her boyfriend's name just might be…"

"Richard!" His mother's voice flowed into the kitchen as she entered in her uniquely dramatic style. She had no idea that she'd both, cut his sentence short and completed it, by saying his name.

He winked at Alexis, "What she said."

Alexis stared slack jawed at his admission. Martha looked between the two of them trying to figure out what she'd missed.

"Did you need something Mother?" Castle turned to Martha with a grin, but kept watch on his daughter out of the corner of his eye. He knew the meaning of his words were sinking in, and wanted to see her true gut reaction. He was pretty sure she would be happy that things were most likely going to move forward with him and Beckett, but he wanted to be sure. As always, she was his first priority.

Having completely lost track of her thought Martha now wanted in on the conversation between her son and granddaughter. "Alexis, Darling, what's wrong? You looked shocked. Did your father say something inappropriate again?"

"Funny Mother, actually I was just telling Alexis that plans have changed and I'm escorting Detective Beckett to the party because she doesn't have a plus one. It seems she parted ways with Dr. Motorcycle Boy recently."

"Marvelous, I knew that girl would come to her senses. I mean how much research does she think you need to do on her anyway?" Speaking in a matter of fact tone, Martha tapped his arm, "I knew the inevitable would eventually happen."

"I think that's why they call it the inevitable, Mother." He shook his head.

Martha looked pensive for a second, "Touché."

Castle looked at Alexis once more. She was grinning from ear to ear. "Spill, what exactly is going on?"

"I don't want to say too much, but I heard it from a very good source that she has feelings for me and wants to try to give a relationship with me a chance."

Alexis looked puzzled. "Who's the source and how do you know they're telling you the truth?"

"Well let's just say I was inadvertently the proverbial _Fly on the Wall,_ and said fly may have heard Beckett pour her heart out to Dr. Parish in the morgue." He saw their disapproval but before either of them could scold him, Castle rethought the metaphor. "Hey, instead of the _fly_ I could've been _a lucky stiff._ Anyway, I want to make it just as easy for her to confide in me as it is for her to confide in Dr. Parish. In fact, I want to make everything easier for her."

Both women stared at him for a second then Alexis spoke first. "Dad, I know this is what you've wanted for a long time. Be patient though. Women don't like to be pushed." She came around the large island and gave her dad a huge hug. "Oh, and don't do anything to make her shoot you."

Castle kissed her on the head and looked over at his mother. "What do you have to say about it?"

Martha threw her hands in the air very dramatically, "I say, go get her Tiger!"

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Kate was standing in her bedroom looking at three dresses. She'd laid them all out on her bed, stood with one hand on her hip, the other on her chin as she tried to decide. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror over her dresser. She realized this must be how she looked when she stood in front of her murder board. But, her murder board usually made more sense to her. All three dresses were beautiful, and she was sure they were all ridiculously expensive. She would be excited to wear any of them. In fact she had tried them all on and they each fit like a glove. It scared her that he could do that. _'How did he know they would fit perfectly?'_

The confusion she was feeling was actually related to Castle's comment in the precinct. He'd suggested she wear the blue one. It was a brilliant sapphire silk dress with very little embellishment. It showed a little skin between her breasts, but wasn't too low cut. The straps weren't even close to being spaghetti straps, but were very elegant, meeting between her shoulder blades then braiding together in a single line down her spine before connecting with more fabric just below the small of her back. Yes, much of her back was exposed and a little bit of her sides, but not in a distasteful way. The bottom half wasn't full, but flowed just enough that it wasn't constricting like a mermaid cut would've been.

"I don't understand what the problem is." Lanie was sitting on the bed with the dresses. She was already dressed in a very beautiful plum colored strapless number that showed off her curvy figure. After spending her days knee deep in dead bodies wearing scrubs and lab coats, she sure cleaned up nice. "They're all exquisite, what's the hold up?"

Kate chewed on her bottom lip, "Well, Castle basically told me that he wanted me to wear the blue one, but…"

"But what, it is the most beautiful one of the three?"

"I agree and it was the one I'd planned on wearing all along. It's just surprising that he would pick the most conservative one." It sounded pathetic as soon as it left her mouth.

"Seriously, are you actually disappointed that Castle showed some maturity for once?" Lanie scolded.

"I know, you're right, I'm over thinking everything." Kate picked up the blue dress and took it into the bathroom.

Her mind raced as she got dressed. She was anxious to see Castle. She could hardly concentrate all day. There was something different about the way he'd said goodbye to her that morning. She'd detected a gaiety to his demeanor that she hadn't seen in him since… well in a long time. All the fun that made him uniquely him had been gone lately. She realized just how much she'd missed him. Sure, he'd still worked on her cases over the last month; had been just as helpful in solving them. But, the Castle she knew hadn't really been present. There were no jokes, no inappropriate innuendo and no crazy theories about Aliens or the CIA. She'd missed that, missed him. Then this morning there he was again as if he had been there all along. Her heart ached a little knowing she'd done that to him. It also worried her that she could have that much power over someone. She didn't know if she was ready for that amount of responsibility.

"Come on Girl, what is taking you so long? Lanie called out impatiently.

"I'm done." Kate came out of the bathroom and did a spin for Lanie, "How do I look?"

"You might just be the death of Writer Boy in that thing." Lanie laughed, "You look great."

"Thanks"

Lanie's expression turned somber; she squeezed her friend's hand. "Hey Kate, I want you to know that I'm here for you. I know tonight will be rough for you. I'm not even talking about this thing with Castle. I think that will be a piece of cake. But this stuff for your mom. I know it's hard for you to revisit that part of your life. If it gets too overwhelming for you, come find me. I'll help hold you up. I know that Castle will want to be the one to do it and you'd probably prefer that too, but just in case he can't for any reason, I'm there."

Kate's mind traveled back to the night Castle showed up at her apartment with this scholarship idea of his. The pride she felt to have a scholarship established in her mother's name was the only thing that outweighed her first instinct to tell him no. In a way, she'd been dreading this night ever since. The loss of her mother is a pain she harbors in her soul every day. She lets almost no one in. But tonight is about honoring her mother's legacy, not dwelling on her death. Johanna Beckett lived a beautiful life and to ignore that would be doing her a disservice.

"Thanks Lanie, I want you to know how much I appreciate you whipping me into shape. I get lost in my own head sometimes and you're always ready with a swift kick in the ass to set me straight. I need that."

"Anything I can do to help a sister out." Both women laughed. "Come on, Javier should be here any minute."

They left Kate's bedroom together, but Kate returned momentarily. She opened her jewelry box and pulled out her mother's ring. She couldn't wear it around her neck tonight, but she needed it with her, so she slipped it off the long chain and tucked into her small clutch. Then she joined her friend in the living room and waited for their dates to arrive.

Esposito arrived at five fifteen and Beckett found it adorable that he was speechless when he saw Lanie in all her glory. He mumbled something about her being his perfect plum chica and gave her a bouquet of roses. Beckett couldn't help but smile. They were so cute together. She envied the ease they had with each other. Neither of them brought any baggage to their relationship. They just dove in and had been having fun ever since.

"Hey Beckett, you look great. Castle is going to flip when he sees you. Actually, I saw the Limo pull up as I was coming in the door. Lanie, why don't we go on out and have a little cocktail. I've always wanted to check out the bar in one of those things." Esposito gave Lanie a knowing look.

"Sounds like a plan Javier, plus that way we get the best seats." Lanie took his hand and the pair headed out the door.

Castle was in the hall so they didn't shut the door behind them. He found it a little awkward to just walk in to Kate's apartment, so he knocked on the jam. Kate turned to see him standing in the entryway looking a little sheepish.

"Hey." That seemed to be the way she greeted him every time he came to her apartment. "Come on in, I'm about ready I just need to grab a wrap." Realizing that he stood between her and the coat closet by her front door, she pointed over his shoulder as she approached him. She was stopped in her tracks by the look in his eyes. "What?" She tried to sound casual, but looking at him in his Armani tux, she was almost breathless. She couldn't help but notice the blue pocket square peeking out from his left breast pocket. The fact that it perfectly matched his tie and her dress didn't go unnoticed.

"You look exquisite." Castle's voice was almost a whisper. He couldn't take his eyes off of her. Her slender shoulders, her long arms, her hair, not to mention her perfect face. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He knew that the day he met her, but today she was even more extraordinary. He found himself frozen at the sight of her.

"Thank you Castle," her flesh grew warm and flushed as he stood there just taking her in. She finally managed to move forward and slip past him to retrieve the wrap from the closet. She couldn't help but smile when she heard him gasp. She could only guess that he was appreciating the back of the dress he had picked out for her.

"Wow that dress was made for you." He said as she came back to stand in front of him. Her extremely high heels allowed them direct eye contact. "God, you're gorgeous."

Kate blushed even more and held his gaze for another few seconds, finally looking away when she thought she was going to burst. That's when she noticed the small box in his hand. "What is that?"

"Oh, I brought something for you" He took her by the arm and led her toward her kitchen. He sat the small box on the counter but before he opened it he began to speak. "Kate, I know that I am not the easiest person to be with sometimes. I know I act crazy and I am childish more times in one day than any adult man should be in a year. I know I don't always do want you want me to do, and I know I invade your space both physically and emotionally."

"Castle," she tried to tell him he didn't need to do this, but he cut her off with a finger to her lips.

"Please let me. I want you to know that everything I do is because I care. Sometimes you are too serious so I do crazy and childish things to get you to laugh. I don't always do what you tell me to do because you're usually telling me to stay in the car or to go away when all I want is to be where you are. I guess that's the same reason I invade your personal space."

Kate let out a little laugh but could see he wasn't done, "and my emotional space?"

Castle took in and released a long cleansing breath. "You're an extraordinary woman. You're caring and compassionate with victims' families. You're tough as nails with suspects. You had to pull your father out of a bottle instead of just being his little girl. You not only had to endure the loss of your mother, but you've had to witness the deaths of two of the people responsible for her murder, one at your own hand. Because of all that, you have a sadness inside you. It isn't visible to everybody all the time, but it is to me. So, I invade your personal space because I don't want you to be alone in there with the it. I want to protect you from it." He watched as tears formed in her eyes.

Kate's heart was about to split wide open. She was speechless and her breathing had become ragged as he spoke. "Castle, I want to let you in. I want you to be in there with me, but more than that, I want to leave all of it behind; be in a new place with you. I just don't know how to do that."

"Well, let's take it one step at a time starting with tonight. When I suggested this event, I didn't really think about how hard tonight might be for you. So, I want to make you a promise. If at any moment tonight becomes too much for you, come to me. People might be pulling me in many directions, but you're my true north. If you need me, I'm there. Anything else can be dealt with after tonight." He waited for her to accept his promise.

"You're right, tonight will be tough, but I am looking at it as a celebration of my mom's life. I'll try to focus on that, but I can't promise I won't need you."

"In case you forget, I got you something to help remind you."

He reached to the box on the counter and also to her clutch; it laid on the counter next to the box. She watched as he opened it up to pull out her mother's ring. _'How had he known it would be in there?'_ Again, she was an open book to him. When he opened the box, she wasn't sure what it was at first. She saw a silver chain, but at each end it seemed to have some sort of clasp. Each clasp had three diamonds adjacent to a larger sapphire. As he reached up to place the chain around the back of her neck, she noticed that the settings in his cufflinks perfectly matched the necklace. He then took the ring and fastened the clasps to it, one on each side of the modest setting. Once it was securely fastened he gently released it, letting it hang. The ring settled flush to her chest directly between her collarbones. Castle touched it one more time reverently. Kate took the ring in her hand. Somehow she was still able to slide it freely in the clasps which he knew she liked to do whenever she thought about her mom. She had no idea how he'd done it; it was obviously custom made. It was the most wonderful gift anyone had ever given her.

Castle spoke but his voice was barely a whisper, "I knew you would want her with you tonight. After all, she is the guest of honor."

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**I hope I did Martha and Alexis justice.**


	4. Chapter 4

Castle held the door of the limo and watched as Kate slid across the backseat, then he slid in next to her. Esposito and Lanie were already comfortably sitting in the seat facing them. They were sipping Champagne and nuzzling close to one another. They barely noticed that the detective and her shadow had gotten in. However, once the luxury vehicle began to pull into traffic, the pair acknowledged their companions. Kate could tell Lanie noticed the necklace immediately; Lanie had an attention to detail that way. It was a skill that served her well in her role as an M.E.

She eyed Kate and Castle closely. "Hey guys, what took you so long? Javier and I are on our second round of drinks."

"Just a few last minute details to attend to," Castle answered casually.

Castle, Esposito and Lanie continued to chat. No one questioned Kate's demeanor as she watched out the window. They all knew this would be a difficult night for her; she would be out of her comfort zone. Therefore, the usual ribbing from her friends was not present.

Traffic was heavy, as was the norm for a Friday night in Manhattan. It was a beautiful night. Kate considered the lights of the city and the people bustling along the sidewalk. It reminded her that life goes on. Even with the horrors of her job ever present in the back of her mind. Despite the awful things she knew people could do to each other, she could also acknowledge the good things people could do _for_ each other. The man sitting next to her was an example of that kind of person. She was beginning to realize there was nothing he wouldn't do for her. At the thought of her partner, she allowed herself to lean into his side a little. This brought her thigh and shoulder in contact with his. Just this slight connection made her feel more grounded than she'd felt in years. Without looking at her, Castle returned the gesture by leaning ever so slightly in her direction. It was as if each were promising other that they were going to meet half way. Neither would have to do the heavy lifting in whatever this was between them. Well, after tonight at least. They both knew Castle would be doing all the lifting tonight.

The ride lasted about a half an hour and Kate vaguely heard the conversation taking place in the vehicle.

"So bro, you've been pretty type lipped about this thing tonight. What are we walking into?" Esposito was always the cop.

"The main event will be pretty typical; hors d'oeuvres, drinks, and music while everyone mingles. There's a silent auction. A lot of great things have been donated. Hopefully the bids won't get too out of hand for some of them. Then there's a sit down dinner while we listen to a few speeches. Lastly, someone has to shamelessly ask for donations." Castle laughed, "I guess that'll be me? We all know I have no shame."

Lanie couldn't resist, "We can all attest to that."

"Thank you Dr. Parish. Anyway, Mother is the emcee, so that should keep things pretty interesting. I figure it should be over around nine or so."

Esposito looked disappointed, "I figured it for a late night?"

Castle gave a devilish grin, "Oh it will be for some of us. After the main event I've arranged for a smaller more intimate after party. I reserved a another room with more music, some dancing, maybe some poker and more food."

"How small and intimate?" Lanie's eyebrow rose with suspicion.

"Well, I wanted the rest of the evening to be for family. So it will be us," Castle gestured between himself and Kate, took advantage of the moment to put his left hand on her thigh. Kate instantly placed her right hand over his. Castle flinched, expecting her to break his fingers without a second thought. But instead he lost his train of thought as she simply entwined her fingers with his and held tight to his hand.

"And?" Lanie knew she had to get Castle back on track to keep him from hyperventilating.

"Um… Oh yeah, us, you two, Ryan and Jenny, the Captain and his wife, Mother, Alexis and Ashley, Beckett's dad, and some of my writer-poker buddies. I hired a deejay, as well." Castle's voice grew more sincere. "I just wanted to do something to thank you all and let you know how much I appreciate your friendship. I've never really had friends in my life. Sure I know a lot of people, but to have people I can count on, no matter the time of day or the circumstance. That's huge for me."

"Thanks Castle, it sounds like it will be a great evening." Esposito spoke without any sarcasm in his voice.

"Fun and memorable, I hope." Castle squeezed Kate's hand as he spoke. "Oh, and to top off the evening I reserved suites for the two of you and Ryan and Jenny to enjoy for the rest of the weekend. I know you guys don't get a lot of down time. I can't really remember any of you taking a vacation, so I wanted you to be able to take advantage of the holiday weekend off."

Lanie and Esposito looked at each other with their mouths agape. "Thank you Castle, that's very thoughtful and generous of you."

"Yeah bro, we'll be sure to take full advantage of the gift." Esposito eyed Lanie with a knowing look as she jabbed him in the ribs with her elbow. "Hey, what was that for?" Esposito whined.

"I reserved a suite for my family too, in case it gets too late and they don't want to have to worry about going all the way home. But, Alexis has already told me she needs to study for her finals next week." Castle rolled his eyes, "I'm still fifty percent sure the stork left the wrong baby at my doorstep sixteen years ago. Then Mother told me she would be going home early too. Something about an audition tomorrow afternoon that she needs her beauty rest for." Castle looked toward Kate, "My suite has three bedrooms, one for you as well."

Just as Kate was processing the comment, the limo stopped and the driver opened the door. She started to get out, but Castle asked Lanie and Esposito to go ahead of them. They obliged.

"Kate, there's something else." She eyed him with confusion. "I know you don't like publicity, but for an event like this, the press helps. People are more likely to open their wallets if the press is there to report it. Press credentials were only given to about twenty reputable news agencies. There will be no paparazzi and they can't go into the event; only outside before and after the party. That's another reason I thought we should stay at the hotel over night. I'll need to stop and answer a few questions on the way in. Paula released a press statement earlier today. She made it clear that tonight is not about me or my novels, no one is to address you as Nikki Heat. If they don't abide by these rules, they will not get a statement from me." Castle searched her eyes for signs of anger, but only saw a little fear. He continued, "You can feel free to just move on into the hotel, I can catch up, but it might help the charity if you answer a couple questions."

Kate pondered her choices, "I understand and I'll stay with you while you talk to them. I can't promise I'll answer any questions. I'll have to play it by ear."

"I couldn't ask for anything else. Okay, you ready?"

Kate nodded and they exited the limo. She looked up to see a crowd of reporters with microphones and cameras. They did seem different than the reporters at his books parties, however. No one was pushing or shoving and no one was calling out to them. They were patiently waiting as she and Castle made their way up the steps of the Roosevelt Hotel.

Castle marveled at Kate. As a detective she oozed confidence, and to the casual observer she was oozing that same confidence as she made her way up the steps and turned with him to face the reporters. However, as her partner, best friend, and shadow Castle could see was nervous. He kept her close to his side with his right hand on the small of her back. Kate gripped his left hand with hers. It was an odd sort of grip. Just their fingers held to each other, almost as if they were going to thumb wrestle. But then as he stopped to address the crowd, she began to fiddle with his finger tips. The connection was electric. They both felt it. His fingers sent shocks up her back while her hand electrified his.

"Good evening, Detective Beckett and I thank you for all for coming. Tonight is the first step in establishing the Johanna Beckett Scholarship for Justice. I can only answer a few questions, hopefully the press release from earlier today was sufficient in providing most of the information you require." Castle nodded slightly as if to let them know he was ready.

"Mr. Castle," a female reporter from the _New York Times_ got his attention. "Can you tell us why you decided to establish this charity in conjunction with the Justice Initiative?"

"Great question, Johanna Beckett was a lawyer that believed in standing up for those the system let down. Even if it wasn't the popular choice or even if there was no money to be made. That is also what the Justice Initiative is all about. Johanna Beckett spent many years volunteering with the organization, so it only seemed appropriate that this scholarship include them somehow."

Kate watched with amazement and awe at the way Castle fielded a few more questions. She was also profoundly touched by the things he said about her mother. In fact, she was so enthralled that she didn't hear it when a reporter from _USA Today_ called out her name.

Castle squeezed her hand and pressed his fingers into her back to get her attention. "Do you want to answer that or should I?"

"I'm sorry, can you repeat the question?" Kate's voice was calm.

"Yes, can you tell us how you feel about having your mother's legacy remembered in this way?"

Kate only took a moment to gather her thoughts. "My mother lived by the motto that _'the truth would set you free.' _She spent her time trying to help those in the legal system without a voice by volunteering with the Justice Initiative. But to me, she was the sun and moon. She was the wind at my back, the foundation under my feet. She died before I ever really told her all of those things. So, anything I can do in my life to honor that, I will."

Kate wasn't really sure if that answered the question, but it was all she had to say; all she could say. She looked to Castle and the depth of emotion she saw in his eyes caused the tears she'd been holding back to fall silently down her cheeks. He slid his hand from her back and wrapped it around her waist to pull her into him as he spoke to the crowd one last time. "That's all the questions we're going to take, thank you again for coming."

They walked into the hotel arm in arm. Castle placed his lips against her hair and whispered, "You were wonderful, I hope it wasn't too uncomfortable for you."

"Actually, it wasn't that bad. Not something I want to have to get used to, but not too bad." She wiped her tears with the back of her hand, tried to compose herself. "Now, where's the bar?"


	5. Chapter 5

**I would like to own them, but I'm pretty sure the payments would be too steep for my budget.**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Kate gasped as she entered the Grand Ballroom. She hadn't seen anyplace so beautiful in her life. The main floor was sunken at least four steps lower than where they now stood in the doorway. It was a huge room with at least sixty tables decorated with plum colored tablecloths, fine china dishes, gold flatware, and delicate crystal stemware. In the center of each table stood a crystal vase; each one at least eighteen inches tall holding no less than two dozen Calla Lilies. Half of the flowers in each vase were white, the other half purple. Kate searched her memory bank, but was sure she'd never told Castle that purple Calla Lilies were her favorite. She was sure that Lanie was behind that one. Not even Castle and his Jedi mind tricks could have guessed that correctly without help. Kate raised her eyes to take in the beautiful chandeliers that hung from the ceiling and then noticed the grand staircases that surrounded the room leading to an upper level allowing guests to view the festivities from above.

Castle let her take it all in before he spoke. "You like?"

"I love," was all Kate needed to say as she squeezed his hand. She hoped he understood the double meaning behind her simple words.

They entered the Ballroom hand in hand as Castle led her to a table closest to the podium at the front of the room. She quickly noticed name cards at each place setting. She was prepared to see the names of the Mayor or maybe the Police Commissioner. However, she was relieved as she circled the table; in addition to herself and Castle; she read Dr. Lanie Parish, Javier Esposito, Kevin Ryan, Jenny Duffy-O'Malley, James Beckett, Alexis Castle, Martha Rogers and Ashley.

Seeing the relief on her face Castle said, "I sat the Captain and his wife with the bigwigs at the next table. Anything I can do to help out the Twelfth."

Kate grinned and nodded with understanding. Just then, over Castle's shoulder, she caught sight of her father making his way across the large room. She couldn't help but smile, he looked so handsome. She hadn't seen him in a suit since her mother's funeral. Of course on that somber day, he hadn't look nearly as good as he did tonight.

"Dad!" Kate threw herself into his arms as he approached.

Jim Beckett wrapped his daughter in a bear hug and held her tight for what seemed like forever, then he stepped back to take a look at her. "Katie, you look beautiful tonight. You remind me so much of your mother at your age."

"Thanks Dad, you don't look too shabby yourself." Kate ran her hands down the lapel of his suit. It felt good to be in his arms. She wanted to hold on to him for a while, but quickly remembered they had an audience. Turning towards her partner, "Dad, I want you to meet Richard Castle. Rick, this is my dad, Jim Beckett."

The men shook hands and chuckled, Jim spoke first. "Nice to see you Rick, looks like you actually pulled this thing off."

"Well we'll see the night is still young. Good to see you again too, Jim."

Kate's eyes looked from one man to the other in confusion. "Excuse me?" Was all she could manage to say.

"Kate, you don't think I could have pulled this all off without some help do you? Your dad has been very helpful these last few months." Castle prepared himself for the oncoming onslaught of her temper.

Knowing his daughter too well Jim cut in. "Don't worry Katie; I hid all the embarrassing pictures before Rick came to the house."

"I knew you were holding out on me Jim." Castle hoped the jovial nature of their conversation would soothe the anger he'd seen flash in Kate's eyes.

"Don't do it Katie." Jim scolded in a fatherly tone. "There is no reason to be angry at Rick."

Kate new her dad was right. He was always able to quash her temper before she let it flare. Very rarely did she and her mother argue, but when they did, her father always knew how to step in and calm his teenage daughter down. She realized that not everything had changed over the last decade. Plus, she wasn't really angry she was just a little hurt that she hadn't gotten to see the two most important men in her life meet each other for the first time.

"Look, why don't you two talk and mingle some. I need to take care of a few things. They should be making an announcement for everyone to take their seats in a few minutes." Castle waited for Kate to nod her approval before leaving them alone.

Father and daughter spent a few minutes chatting before the announcement was made for everyone to make their way to their seats. Kate turned just in time to see some familiar faces. "Hey Dad, I'd like you to meet my friends. This is Detective Kevin Ryan and his fiancée Jenny, Detective Javier Esposito and his girlfriend and my very good friend Dr. Lanie Parish."

As Jim greeted the group a weight lifted off his shoulders. His Katie didn't let him into her life very often. Until recently he wasn't sure that she had _a_ friend let alone a group of them. His heart healed a little knowing that his daughter had created a life for herself that didn't consist of work alone. The fact that the group seemed so tight was only a plus. He watched in amazement as two more guests approached the table.

"Detective Beckett," Alexis wrapped Kate in an enthusiastic hug, "You look great!"

"So do you Alexis." Kate turned towards the young man at Castle's Daughter's side. "And you must be Ashley; Mr. Castle has told me so much about you."

"Nice to meet you Detective Beckett." Ashley's voice was shaky. Kate knew Castle used his affiliation with the police to scare Ashley. He would do anything to protect his daughter, even if it meant politely frightening her boyfriend on a regular basis.

Martha took her place on the stage and began to explain the agenda for the evening. She gave her son a not so subtle stare when he was the last of the hundreds of guests to take a seat. He mouthed the word s_orry_ up to her as he quickly slid in next to Kate. Of course a rumble of laughter spread throughout the crowd. Castle's antics were well known amongst his friends and business associates alike.

"Where have you been?" Kate could see a mischievous look on his face.

"Oh, just a few details to take care of," He casually slid his hand into her lap to find hers.

Over the next hour, a four course dinner was served while everyone chatted. The food was wonderful and so was the company. Kate and Castle found themselves lost in conversation with each other most of the time. They discussed the food, the wine, as-well-as whispered about how cute they thought Alexis was with her boyfriend.

Finally Martha took the stage again and introduced the speakers for the night. They sat through speeches from the founder of the Justice Initiative and also the Dean of Cornell University, she law school Kate's mom had attended. Kate was glad to hear exactly how the scholarship set up in her mother's name would be put to use in the real world. After that, Martha again stood in front of the crowd; she had an ease about her even in front of such a large audience. She seemed to float across the stage. Kate thought of the man sitting with his arm around her. She smiled to herself.

"What's so funny?" Castle leaned in, whispering in her ear.

"I just realized where you get your flare for the dramatic. Your mother is wonderful, she makes me smile, that's all."

"Yeah, she's in her element with all eyes on her. She's kind of like a train wreck that way." Castle joked.

Kate slapped his leg under the table, "Stop, she's doing a great job."

From the stage Martha began to announce the winners of the silent auction items. Kate hadn't had a chance to see all the things that had been donated, so she listened carefully as each item was described. Of the thirty or so lots, she knew right away which ones had been donated by Castle. His generosity never ceased to amaze her. A week's vacation at his Hampton's mansion, a complete set of autographed first edition Richard Castle novels, and a weekend on a luxury yacht complete with a professional chef and fishing guide. She didn't realize the last item was his until Martha mentioned the name of the ship, _His Serenity_. She was even more amazed when the winner of the Hamptons vacation was announced as a tie between Ryan and Esposito. The detectives stared at each other in confusion.

Finally Castle spoke up. "I thought you two needed a real vacation with your lovely ladies. Hope you guys don't mind a double date."

A few minutes later the same shock could be seen on Captain Montgomery's face when he was announced as the winner of the fishing weekend aboard Castle's yacht. Castle just looked over and winked at him. Neither of them had forgotten the Captain's answer the day Castle asked him what he would buy if he ever won the lottery.

Kate turned in her chair to face Castle. She placed her hand on the side of his face. Then without hesitation she gave his cheek a light smack, "Castle, if I mysteriously become the winner of a brand new fed-mobile, I'm going to shoot you."

Before he could respond he heard his mother announcing his name from the podium. He stood and walked to the front of the room. Suddenly he was hit with an enormous case of stage fright. Not because of the crowd, but because he so wanted to say the right thing, to do her mother justice. He took the stairs to the stage with rubbery legs. Castle let out a long sigh before he began to speak.

"You all heard the speeches about the charity we're here to support. I hope you all find it in your best interest to open up your checkbooks and proceed to write a number with a lot of zeros. But, I'm not here to go over any of those details again. I'm simply here to tell you about the woman for whom this charity is named, Johanna Beckett."

As he spoke pictures of Kate's mother began to appear on the screen above Castle's head. Pictures of her at various times of her life. Pictures of her with Jim Beckett. Pictures of her holding a baby. Pictures of her with a teenage Kate standing next to her. Kate looked to her father with tears in her eyes. Then she returned her gaze to the man on the stage.

Castle continued; his voice serious "Johanna Beckett is a woman I've never met, yet I spend every day with. I've never had a conversation with her, yet she knows my innermost secrets. I have never heard her speak, yet her voice is music to my ears. I have never been in the same room with her, but I would follow her to the ends of the earth. You of course ask _'How can all of these contradictions be true?'_ They're true because I have the privilege of knowing her daughter. Katherine Beckett is not only one of New York's finest, but to me is simply _the finest_. She allows me to follow her into the darkness every day when all I want to do is lie in the sun next to her. I watch her force confessions from the most hardened of criminals when what I really want is to confess my undying devotion to her. I build murder theories with her all-the-while wanting to build a future with her in it." Castle paused to look around the room. Just when he was sure there wasn't a dry eye in the place, and gesturing with his hands in a questioning pose, he ended his speech with this last line. "So, do you think this might finally do the trick?"

The whole room erupted into laughter. Everyone laughed but Kate who had tears running down her face. Her head was spinning. She ran his words over in her mind. _'How had she ever doubted his devotion to her? Did he really just confess his love in front of hundreds of people?' _She didn't know whether to take him in her arms and kiss him or to shoot him on the spot. She felt Castle's eyes on her as he descended the steps and walked over. As he approached she decided the former was the better choice. She stood in front of him and then slung her arms around his neck pulling him to her lips. Castle wrapped his arms around Kate's body as she leaned in and kissed him. This moment was just the beginning for them. At that moment she knew her heart was forever going to belong to him. The kiss, while being the most sensual kiss she'd ever experienced, was actually pretty short considering the feelings his words stirred inside. Since they were standing in a room full of people now cheering at the show they were providing, getting lost in the embrace was not something they could do.

Breaking the connection, Kate spoke first. "Castle, if this is the part of the evening you call typical, I can't wait to see wait you have planned for the rest of the night."

Castle leaned in and whispered in her ear, "Oh Detective Beckett, you have no idea."


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you for all of the reviews. I will try to respond to all of them but I wanted to get this chapter done first. I hope you don't find my choice of songs odd, but I feel the words in every one of them describe the relationship between Castle and Beckett. If you aren't familiar with some of them, I suggest you give them a listen.**

**I could easily end the story here, but I think I will continue through their courtship, yes I said courtship. I'm a little old fashioned that way. I laugh at that line because it is something that John Huertas tweeted to me a while back.**

**I don't own them, but I feel like I know them a bit…**

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It was close to 10:00 pm by the time the Grand Ballroom at The Roosevelt Hotel cleared out. Castle told the close knit group that the _after party _was in an adjacent smaller party room. Then he left them telling them he would meet them there shortly. All eyes were on Kate and suddenly she felt like the proverbial 'ant under the magnifying glass' complete with burning flesh. She didn't regret her response to Castle's touching speech, but did regret that she hadn't gone with him when he left the room. Not just because she instantly felt alone without him beside her, but also because she was not ready to face the litany of questions that where being thrown at her all at once. She quickly felt overwhelmed and knew she needed air. She just rolled her eyes at her friends and walked away. She was well aware of the silence that befell the group as she exited the Ballroom.

She wasn't sure where she was going, but she avoided the front entrance of the Hotel knowing the press was out there hoping to garner any information from exiting guests about the event that had just ended. Not knowing her way around the Hotel, she stopped a bellboy and was thankful when he escorted her to the outdoor pool area. It was enclosed and not accessible from the outside so no one from the press would be able to catch her off guard. And with it being late April the pool was clearly not in use. Before leaving her, the bellboy asked if she had her room key, otherwise she would not be able to reenter the Hotel. She just shook her head and thought that her need for fresh air would have to wait.

She was surprised when the bellboy just smiled, "Don't worry, I'll be right back."

He left her there with her thoughts. She went over the whole evening, actually the whole day in her mind. It felt like a dream, but she knew it was real. She knew he was real and that he meant the things he'd said. She knew the ball was in her court. Her mind, no her heart was made up, and she was sure he knew that, but he deserved to hear it from her. She wanted no more guessing games between them. She wanted nothing left unsaid. She found herself wishing the night was over, that it could just be the two of them sitting up all night talking about anything and everything, but Castle had planned a nice private evening for her and for their friends and family. She would not take that away from him. Besides, if she wanted nothing more than to be with him; this little soiree would allow her that. In fact, she was pretty sure she would have the time of her life.

"Miss Beckett" Kate hadn't even noticed that the Bellboy had kept his promise and returned. "Miss Beckett, I had another card key made for you since you must have left yours in your room."

"Excuse me?"

He looked at her with confusion and just handed her the card, "The key, to your room?"

Remembering what Castle had said in the limo, she took the key. "Thank you, you have been a big help." She made a mental note of his name badge so she could leave him a tip at the front desk later.

"Have a good evening ma'am."

Feeling a bit cooler Kate decided to go face the music. So she reentered the hotel and made her way back to the lobby. On her way to the party she noticed a long hallway of shops that she hadn't noticed earlier. Of course they were closed for the evening, but that didn't stop her from window shopping. In many ways, Kate wasn't a typical girlie-girl, but she did have a few weaknesses. She stopped at SARAR and admired a few blazers that she thought were amazing, but not very practical on a cop's budget. She did the same at a few more stores, she almost drooled at the shoe selection in Clarks and chuckled at the cute little boutique full of playful umbrellas and parasols, it was appropriately named Rain or Shine. She made a mental note of checking it out when it was open the next day.

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"There you are I was beginning to worry." Kate's father was the only one brave enough to approach her as she entered the room.

She had managed to find her way to the party after asking someone at the desk for help. This room was considerably smaller than the Grand Ballroom, actually it was probably about one tenth of the size, but still it was more than was needed to accommodate the fifteen or so people currently present. She scanned the room but did not see Castle.

"Hey Dad, I'm fine I just needed some air." She walked with him and joined her friends.

They were currently sitting around a couple of tables that had been set up near the dance floor. She saw the deejay in the corner and could hear the music playing. She also saw some banquet tables, but currently there was no food on them. She figured that would be for later after they had worked off the four course meal they had finished a few hours ago. However, the bar was open and Martha had clearly already taken advantage of it.

"Kate!" Martha's voice was sing-songy and Kate had to stifle a laugh as the older woman gave her a light squeeze.

"Hey Martha, you did great tonight, thank you."

"Oh, no need to thank me dear. Any chance I get to take the stage." Before she finished her sentence the music changed to from mellow to upbeat and Martha turned, "or the dance floor for that matter."

Kate looked over and saw Captain Montgomery looking in her direction. She hadn't had a chance to talk with him yet this evening. "Hey Captain, I'm glad you could make it. Just so you know, I knew nothing about the boat thing."

"Technically, it's a ship." Castle interrupted as he snuck up behind her and placed a tender kiss in her hair. Just the mere knowledge of his presence behind her caused every nerve in her body to come to life. She turned slightly and slid her arm around his waist as he wrapped his around her shoulders. Now not only her nerves were tingling, but her head was swooning as the scent of him filled her senses. "Oh no, I see my mother has already hit the bar. Please people; start dancing before she embarrasses herself. On second thought, before she embarrasses me."

"Castle, let her be, she can't possibly embarrass you anymore than you embarrass yourself on a daily bases." Kate jabbed her finger into his side to add physical insult to the verbal injury she just gave.

As if on cue, the Deejay's voice filled the room. "Ok party animals; it's time to get those bodies moving. So make your way out onto the dance floor and get ready to boogie." As he spoke the last word, _Staying_ _Alive_ began pouring from the speakers.

"Seriously Castle? Did you hire the cheesiest deejay in New York?"

"You wound me, Detective? He is actually really great, but yes a little corny, I know. Trust me he knows what he is doing. Plus, he takes requests." Castle waggled his eyebrows at her. "Do you want to dance or play?" Castle gestured towards the poker table across the room. She saw James Patterson, Dennis Lehane and Michael Connelly already engrossed in a game of Texas Hold Em.

Kate grabbed him by the lapels of his suit and pulled him in close. "I've been waiting years to _get on the_ _floor_ with you." They both laughed at the memory of the Page Brothers recording that ridiculous song. "Let me talk to the guys for a minute and then meet me out there."

Castle leaned in and gave her a quick kiss then went to the poker table to greet his friends. Kate walked in the opposite direction towards Lanie and the guys. "Hey guys, sorry I ran out of there like that, I just needed some air." They all just smiled at her and waited for her to take the first step at easing the tension. "So, who won the bet?"

"Girl, who do you think won? These guys are oblivious." The tone of Lanie's voice eased Kate's concerns. "I mean what's a girl gotta do? Castle writes you two very public love letters and then even confesses his love for you in front of hundreds of people and I can't even get Javier to ask me to dance."

The group laughed, but the boys got the hint. Ryan took Jenny by the hand and led her to the dance floor. Lanie feigned anger as Esposito tried to take her by the hand. Kate watched as he leaned in and whispered something in her ear. Whatever he said made her dark skin blush red. She smacked him on the arm before following him to join the others dancing. As she watched them, she noticed Alexis and Ashley were already enjoying themselves, as well. She hated to leave her dad sitting there alone, but the Captain was soon moving over to him. Mrs. Montgomery had already left for the evening, so the two older men decided to go join the poker game.

Suddenly Kate felt a hand on her back. "I thought you were going to meet me on the dance floor?"

"I am, but I want to go make a request of the deejay. Meet you there in a minute."

After she confirmed that the deejay had the song she wanted she made her way over to Castle. She could see the desire in his eyes as she began to dance in front of him. She had danced like this for him once before, but they were undercover and it hadn't lasted long. Still she knew the effect it had on him them, as well as now. As the song ended she placed her hands on his shoulders and he instinctively held on to her waist. The song she had requested began to play. Their bodies melded together like hot metal on metal. She held her face close to his and looked intently into his blue eyes as the lyrics began to play.

Castle held her gaze. Her eyes were filled with emotion he had never seen in them before. Their bodies moved together slowly as a song he had never heard began to play, but he knew she had requested it so he listened to each word as it played. Accompanied only by a guitar, a woman's voice began to sing…

_Daydreamer_

_Sitting on a seat, soaking up the sun_

_He is a real lover_

_Of making up the past_

_And feeling up his girl like he's never felt her figure before_

Kate put her hands on his at her waist and encouraged him to do as the song had suggested. He gladly obliged and proceeded to explore her body more intimately. She bit her bottom lip has he slowly ran his hands over her backside and around to her hips. Castle was glad Jim Beckett was preoccupied with Poker at this minute, and he wasn't so sure he could have resisted even if he wasn't.

_A Jaw dropper_

_Looks good when he walks_

_He's the subject of their talk_

_He would be hard to chase_

_But good to catch_

_And he could change the world with his hands behind his back, oh_

Kate was almost singing the words to him with her eyes. She hadn't broken eye contact with him since the song had begun. He wanted to pull her to him and feel her whole body against him, but he knew she needed him to understand the meaning of the words so he continued to listen.

_You can find him_

_Sitting on your doorstep_

_Waiting for a surprise_

_And he will feel like he's been there for hours_

_And you can tell that he'll be there for life_

With that line he saw her eyes fill with tears.

_Daydreamer_

_With eyes that make you melt_

_He lends his coat for shelter_

_Plus he's there for you when he shouldn't be_

_But he stays all the same _

_Waits for you_

_Then see you through_

He watched as the unshed tears broke through the dam of her resolve. As they rolled down her face he pulled her to him. She dropped her arms from his shoulders and wrapped them around his ribcage placing her head on his shoulder. He could feel her breath on his neck and his whole body tingled with electricity. They continued to dance as the song continued.

_There's no way I could describe him_

_What I say is just what I'm hoping for_

_But I will find him _

_Sitting on my doorstep_

_Waiting for a surprise_

_And he will feel like he's been there for hours_

_And I can tell that he'll be there for life_

Kate lifted her head from his shoulder and with her beautiful voice, sang the last line into his ear.

_And I can tell that he'll be there for life_

As the music drew to an end Kate held to him with all her strength. In fact she thought she was probably inhibiting his ability to breathe and began to loosen her grip as she felt his hands move up her body. As she pulled back he cradled her face in his hands and put his mouth to her ear. The word he spoke caused her knees to go weak.

"Always"

She knew she couldn't dance for the next few moments and as if he could read her mind, he led her to some chairs in a dark corner of the room. He sat down and pulled her into his lap. She wrapped her left arm around his shoulders as he held her right hand in his on her lap. They didn't need to talk, they just sat and watched their friends while the music continued to play. They both laughed as the deejay continued his eclectic choice on music. Watching the guys do the Electric Slide was an image forever burned onto Kate's brain. Then they watched as the three couples slow danced to songs like _When a_ _Man Loves_ _a Woman_ and _My Heart Will Go On._ Before they knew it an hour had gone by and the food had arrived.

"Are you hungry?" Castle spoke up first.

"Yes, but can we sit here a few more minutes?"

They watched as everyone filled their plates and sat down to eat. The deejay played the music a little quieter to allow the guests to talk while they ate. Someone had raised the lights as well. Finally Kate turned and nuzzled her nose against Castle's cheek. He returned the gesture by grazing her neck with his teeth.

"We better go get some food; otherwise I may resort to nibbling on you." Castle eased her off of his lap, but held her close as they walked to the buffet table. He didn't want to break the connection with her, but he had worked up an appetite.

They filled their plates and joined everyone around the tables. The men playing Poker seemed to be finishing up. Castle's writer friends came over and said their goodbyes. Jim Beckett got himself something to eat and sat down across from his daughter.

"Are you having a good time Dad?"

"I sure am, however I have learned my lesson playing Poker with those guys. Not only am I out of my league skill wise, but monetarily as well." Jim answered warily.

"You will have to join our Poker night at my loft, if you'd like Jim. We've been one man short since we lost Cannell a few months back." Castle's invitation was sincere and Kate appreciated the effort he made to include him.

"Sure, just let me know when and where." Jim finished his last bite and began to speak as he stood up. "Well Katie, it's getting kind of late. I think I am going to head up. I'm getting too old to stay out this late, by the way Rick, thank you for the room and for a wonderful evening."

Kate shot an appreciative look at Castle and then turned to her dad. "It's early especially if you are staying in the hotel. Please stay, at least dance one dance with me before you go?"

"Ok Katie, one dance but then I'm off. I don't think my heart can handle witnessing what I witnessed on the dance floor a while ago."

Kate blushed realizing that her father had seen her and Rick dancing earlier, "One dance."

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By 1:30 am the party had dwindled down to the three couples. Martha had gone back to the loft pretty early on. She needed to prepare for her audition. Ashley had a 12:30 curfew so Alexis had walked him out when the car service came to pick him up. Castle had convinced her to stay at the hotel. There was plenty of room in the suite and he promised to have a car take her home early the next morning. He assured her there would be plenty of time over the weekend to study.

"Ok, now that it is just us grownups, let's have some fun."

The deejay had not gotten any less corny throughout the night, but Castle was right, he played some good music. Ryan and Jenny had made a few odd requests and he was able to oblige. This convinced them that they wanted to use him for their wedding reception. Lanie and Esposito were having a good time too, but Kate could tell her friend had partaken off a little too much wine when she yelled.

"You music boy, how about something really adult, none of this kid stuff."

Kate was afraid of what he might come up with, but was pleasantly surprised when _Butterfly_ began to play. Yes, it was very adult, but not too trashy.

As soon as the song began, they all started dancing. The men were all very animated with their hands. Again, Rick decided to take the lyrics literally and pretty much did as the song suggested. Kate giggled as he sang a few lyrics but changed the line about writing a _song_ into writing a _book_. He grabbed her by the hips and crashed her body into him as they danced. Of course he took some liberties with the second verse as he ran his tongue across her bottom lip and then bit it gently before nuzzling her nose with his, as the song also suggested. She laughed as he nibbled her ear a little later. By the time the song was finished they were all exhausted. They took a few minutes to each get a drink and cool down.

Castle took the liberty to make a few requests of his own and the deejay made the announcement that he had about four more songs to play before he had to call it a night. Everyone looked around as if to say they didn't know if they could even go another four songs. Everyone was exhausted. Castle assured them he had only requested slow songs, that way they could all wind down before heading to their rooms. The six of them made their way back to the dance floor as the first song began. Lanie and Kate shot each other an odd look when they realized it was a country song.

"Have some faith ladies, this is a good one."

Castle took Kate by the waist and began a slow dance as she listed to the words of _Not That Different_ and _Many a Mile_. He explained that they were both sung by Collin Raye. Kate had never heard of him, but when both songs brought her to tears she decided she had to start listening to country music. They continued to dance as _Somewhere Over the Rainbow_, the Israel Kamakawiwoʻole version, played. Kate loved this version and again wondered how he knew that. The Ukulele was such an underrated instrument she thought to herself. As it played, she just laid her head against his chest, she had long since lost her shoes and now he dwarfed her in height, but she like it that way.

Castle held Kate in his arms as they danced. His hands roamed over her back, hips and shoulders. He committed every inch of her to memory. He wanted to know every part of her. Not just physically, but emotionally. He knew they were forever, but there was still so much to learn about her and he was going to savor every bit of it, of her, for the rest of his life.

As the last song began to play, he pulled back enough to look her in the eye. She had showed him a little of her heart earlier on the dance floor, it was his turn to return the favor.

_When the rain is blowing in your face_

_And the whole world is on your case_

_I could offer you a warm embrace_

_To make you feel my love_

_When the evening shadows and the stars appear_

_And there is no one there to dry your tears_

_I could hold you for a million years_

_To make you feel my love_

Castle leaned in and held her to him as he sang the rest of the song in her ear. She was pretty sure her legs no longer worked and he was doing all the work for them, but he didn't seem to mind. She let him be her strength. Something she had not done since her mother died. She let someone else share the burden. The man holding on to her had gone from annoyance to friend to partner and now to lover. No, they hadn't made love yet, but make no mistake about it, they were already lovers. She closed her eyes as she listened to him sing.

_I know you haven't made your mind up yet_

_But I will never do you wrong_

_I've known it from the moment that we met_

_No doubt in my mind where you belong_

_I'd go hungry_

_I'd go black and blue_

_I'd go crawling down the avenue_

_No there's nothing that I wouldn't do_

_To make you feel my love_

_The storms are raging on the rolling sea_

_And on the highway of regret_

_The winds of change are blowing wild and free_

_You ain't seen nothing like me yet_

_I could make you happy_

_Make your dreams come true_

_Nothing that I wouldn't do_

_Go to the ends of the earth for you_

_To make you feel my love_

_To make you feel my love_

Once the song ended Castle looked deep into her eyes. He ran his thumbs along her cheekbones as he placed his forehead against hers. She could see the remnants of tears that he had shed into her hair while she rested her head on his chest. She placed a gentle kiss on his nose and shattered his resistance with three little words.

"It makes sense."

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**I know, those weren't the three words you thought she was going to say….**

**Oh, I've never been to NYC let alone the Roosevelt Hotel, but I did research it and the shops I mentioned and the Grand Ballroom are accurate…**


	7. Chapter 7

**Again, thank you all for the reviews. I think I responded to everyone of them, but if I missed you, I am sorry. **

**This is another fluffy chapter, but I hope you like it. **

**Don't own them and it's a pity, I would have so much fun dressing them up…**

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Kate yawned as she and Castle rode the elevator up to their suite, despite the wonderful things his hands and lips were doing to her body. She felt, more than heard Castle chuckle against her neck.

Raising his head to look at her, "Bored with me already Detective?"

"Never, I just realized how exhausted I am. I haven't slept in a few days and I think I just hit a wall." The look in her eyes was apologetic.

The new couple had parted ways with their friends a few floors below. They had planned to meet for breakfast the next day, but soon realized it was now after 2:00 am. With that, the plans changed and they agreed to meet for brunch around 11:00.

"Rick, I had a wonderful time tonight. It was an evening I will never forget." She lazily leaned into his side as the elevator doors opened and they made their way down the hall towards their suite. With his suit jacket folded over his arm, he held the key card in one hand and her shoes in the other. As they approached the door to their suite, Castle suddenly turned her to face him and pushed her back up against the door. His lips met hers with a crushing force that immediately expelled any exhaustion she had previously felt. After a few wonderful moments of exploration she noticed Castle fumbling with the key card. Kate gently forced his face from hers with her hands on each side of his face. Between the kisses and his body crushing her against the door, she was in desperate need of air.

"Down Boy" her voice came out husky and between gasps. "I think we need to move this party inside."

She took the key card from his hand and opened the door. Two seconds later, with his jacket and her shoes at their feet, they were getting just as acquainted with the inside of the door as they had the outside. The need to be as close to him as humanly possible, without actually taking up the same space, overwhelmed Kate and she whimpered in response to that need. The small cry she expelled into his mouth only increased Castle's intensity and he bent down to taste her neck, but he soon missed the taste of her mouth and needed to feel her lips on his again. Their bodies were melded together so closely that his upward movement almost lifted her off the ground.

"Ahem"

They both froze at the sound. Their barely separated mouths blowing air onto the others face caused the sweat already present on their brows to increase tenfold.

The adolescent voice cut into the silence again, "Yet another reason I should have gone home tonight."

Castle could tell Alexis was only half joking as she spoke. Still leaning against Kate and the door, he took a few extra seconds to compose himself before turning to find his daughter. Thankfully she was far enough across the main room of the suite that she may not have seen or heard everything that he and Kate had been doing. She was sitting at the kitchen table studying with her back to them.

As he approached, "Pumpkin, I am so sorry. That was irresponsible of me. I figured you would already be in bed, but I should have considered…

Alexis cut him off midsentence, "It's ok Dad, why do think I'm sitting with my back to the door? That's not a picture I need rattling around in my brain." She laughed and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "I just wanted to say goodnight, I didn't get a chance at the party."

Castle felt relieved, he knew his daughter was mature for her age and she had no allusions that he was a saint, but nonetheless she didn't need to see her father practically mauling anyone, especially Kate. Alexis looked up to Kate and he would hate to do anything to alter that dynamic.

"Come on kiddo, let me tuck you in." Castle scooped the redhead up in his arms and carried her toward one of the three bedroom situated off of the main room.

"Goodnight Kate, see you tomorrow, or later today I guess." Alexis waved and smiled at Kate as she and her father passed on the way to the bedroom.

During the whole conversation Kate had remained plastered to the door. At first mortification sat in. How could they have forgotten Alexis was here? But as she watched the interaction between father and daughter the shame dissipated. Their relationship was something to behold. Castle adored his daughter and Alexis returned the adoration tenfold. Kate was also a little surprised that she detected no resentment from Alexis. If Jim Beckett had ever brought a woman home after the death of Johanna, Kate knew she would not have been so accepting. She smiled, realizing for the first time that by accepting Castle into her heart, she received a bonus in the form of a beautiful young teenager. She looked forward to spending time getting to know Alexis; she just hoped the youngster would feel the same way.

After a few moments of reflection, Kate made her way across the luxurious hotel suite and peered into the other two adjacent rooms. She saw Castle's suitcase on the bed in one room, so she made her way to the last of the three rooms. Upon entering, she just shook her head, there were a few things spread out on the bed. She ran her fingers along the sleeve of a beautiful pale yellow silk robe. Inside the robe was a knee length spaghetti strapped nightgown. It perfectly mirrored the yellow of the robe it was enveloped in. Next to them laid a stack of what appeared to be a few casual outfits. For a moment she thought she might be angry at Castle's obvious assumption, but quickly realized the hypocrisy. She was after all here, wasn't she? Feeling the need to get more comfortable, she picked up the nightclothes and took them into the adjoining bathroom. Of course more surprises awaited her there. A large basket was on the sink. It was overflowing with everything she might need for a long weekend away from home. Cherry scented shampoo and conditioner, it wasn't her brand, but after opening it and breathing in the fragrance, she quickly admitted that it was better than her brand. Body wash, lotion, hair products and deodorant of the same line were also tucked in the bottom of the enormous cavity of the basket. He had even thought about makeup. It looked like he had picked out one of everything at the Sephora counter. Kate sampled a few items before changing her clothes and then stopped to look at herself in the mirror. She looked tired, but not wiped out like she did most nights after a tough day on the job. Like most of her days, today had been a long and emotional one, but in all the best ways possible.

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In the other room Castle tossed Alexis on the bed. "So did you and Ashley have a good time this evening?"

"Yes we did. I think he was a little less intimidated by your subtle threats of police action after meeting Kate. Of course that was until he met Detectives Ryan and Esposito. They were anything but subtle. How much did you have to pay them? Or did they take it out in trade in the form of a free week in the Hamptons?" Alexis's pout was stern yet playful.

Castle looked at her with feigned astonishment, "Seriously, I had nothing to do with it."

"Yeah right!"

"Anyway, again I'm sorry about the PDA a few minutes ago." Castle nodded his head towards the door. "I hope it wasn't too embarrassing for you."

Alexis tilted her head with a smirk, "Well, I have been waiting for sixteen years to see you act like an adult. This is a perfect example of _be careful what you wish for_."

"Touché Pumpkin" Castle's apology was genuine despite the levity. "I promise we will be more considerate in the future."

Turning serious, Alexis said, "Dad?"

"Yep?"

"I know you have wanted this, a relationship with Kate for a long time." She paused while deciding how to say it best, and her father just waited, always the patient parent. "And I know you love her more than anyone you have ever loved in your whole life."

"Except for you," he interjected, beginning to worry that Alexis would feel pushed aside. "You always come first, if you don't want…"

Knowing where he was going, Alexis cut him off midsentence. "No Dad, I'm not worried about that. I could never ask more from anyone than what I have in you."

"Then what?" They had always been honest with each other and he didn't expect anything less now. He could tell she needed to say something.

Alexis sighed and decided it had to be said, even if the prospect of it actually crossing her lips made her cringe a bit. "It's just; don't you think she deserves more than to have you _do_ her up against the door of a hotel room? Actually, don't you think you both deserve more?"

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After taking her time changing and reliving the moments of the day Kate went back out into the main room of the suite. It was a very nice suite with a sunken living room area complete with sofas, coffee and end tables, a big screen TV and a full bar. Next to that was a dining room and small kitchen area. Of course, every detail was high end. In fact, the whole thing put Kate's tiny apartment to shame. Castle was nowhere to be seen, but the door to his room was now shut and she could hear muffled movements from the other side of the wall. She sat down on the loveseat with her back against the arm. She pulled her knees up close to her chest and hugged them with her arms. She waited.

Castle changed into some PJ pants and a t-shirt then exited the bedroom. He saw Kate sitting on the loveseat. He crossed the room to her and as he did, he couldn't help but to run his fingers along her shoulders. He delighted in the shiver his touch elicited in her. He circled around and sat facing her. The loveseat was small enough that with his back against the opposite arm, his leg came in contact with Kate's toes. She lifted them and rested her feet on his shin. Even that simple touch exhilarated his senses. He was glad to see she had changed into the nightgown and robe he had bought for her. Castle reached his hands towards hers, but did not take them into his. Instead he ran the pads of his thumbs deliberately down each of her fingers. He wanted to commit every part of her to memory, both visually and tactilely, and decided her fingers were a good place to start. Plus, his shame prevented him from meeting her eyes.

Sensing his hesitancy, Kate broke the silence, "What?" He looked up at her with confusion but she continued. "Don't go all quiet on me now Castle."

Castle's tone was serious. A tone she didn't hear from him that often before today. "I'm sorry Kate."

Kate's heart tugged in her chest. She couldn't pinpoint that exact moment Castle had gone from pulling her pigtails to pulling her heartstrings, but nonetheless he now had a firm grip. She moved forward, nudging for him to move his right leg between her left hip and the back of the couch. She placed her feet behind him, essentially straddling his body. Castle grabbed the underside of her soft bare thighs offering enough counter pressure to allow her to scoot her body flush with his. It was not a sexual overture. It was about her need to be close to him. To feel his heartbeat against her chest. To breathe in his scent. To shudder as his breath passed from his lips to hers. To feel the warmth of his embrace. He understood her intentions and relayed his understanding. His hands lifted from beneath her legs as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and across her back. Despite the obvious strength he had seen her display many times on the job; her frame was small, almost dainty. His upper body almost completely enveloped hers.

After a few minutes of stillness, Kate raised her head from his chest and looked into his eyes. She saw the shame and knew that his apology stemmed from the rough make-out session that began in the hall. "What are you sorry for Castle? It takes two to Tango and I was on the dance floor with you. Willingly I might add."

Appreciating the light tone in her voice some of Castle's guilt subsided. "Kate, I have wanted this, no dreamed of this, of us, for so long. I can't mess this up, I won't. I don't want us to take any missteps. And, although I know we would be great at the Tango, you deserve the Waltz." Then dropping the metaphor he continued to spill his heart to her. "You deserve to be cherished not just lusted over. You're more than the just sum of your physical attributes, albeit they are some pretty spectacular attributes. Ouch!"

Kate laughed as she pinched Castle's arm, but quickly responded to his honesty in turn. "I want to do this, us, just as right as you do. Even though we have shared allot today, and the last two years for that matter, there is still so much to be learned about each other. I want to know every part of you and I want you to know every part of me. So, why don't we just take it one day at a time and enjoy the journey." She continued only after he nodded in agreement. "You know I'm not really good at sharing or letting people in, so promise me you will be patient and help me open up to you."

"I can do that." He agreed. "But, I know you don't like to be smothered so if I get too clingy, you need to tell me to back off."

She played with the front of his t-shirt as she spoke, "Now that we have the ground rules settled, I have one more request."

"Name it"

"Can you at least pretend to lust after me once in a while?" A huge smile crossed her face.

"Oh Katherine Beckett, there will be no pretending needed."

Their lips found each other's again, but this time there was no rush and their movements were not feverish. Kate sucked on Castle's upper lip while he returned the favor to her lower. Each drank the other in, the taste, the scent and the quiet needful sounds. And while their mouths were completely R rated they were careful to keep their hands PG. Making sure to only caress one another's face shoulders or back. The physical attraction was strong, but for now it was the emotional bond they sought to strengthen. He was determined to be the one-and-done she deserved. In return she was determined to be the destination he had been sailing toward his entire life, thought at times he may have hit rough seas.

Finally parting only because of the need for oxygen, they just held each other, laughed and talked all the while never moving from the united position they held on the small sofa. Somewhere in the early morning hours they decided that sleep was calling them. They made their way across the suite hand in hand. Castle kissed her goodnight at the door to her bedroom.

"Goodnight Kate"

"Until tomorrow Rick, or is it later today?"

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**I feel the need to tell you that I am a very visual person. I look back on my life and view it as a serious of snapshots. Even in school, I didn't memorize the facts as much as I memorized where the words were on the page. With that being said, as I write a chapter I close my eyes and picture the scene. I only hope I am able to portray that picture in words.**


	8. Chapter 8

**OK, I have to admit, I may be pushing the limits of the sappyness (not sure if that is even a word) factor. I promise the next few chapters will incorporate a jump forward in time. I never expected the first 48 hours of this story would take 8 chapters to write. Anyway, I hope all the other hopeless romantics out there enjoy.**

**Also, near the end of this chapter Kate is going to read some of Castle's research notes. The end of each line denotes a turn of the page. It was harder to write than I thought it would. I hope it flows well enough.**

**I don't own them..**

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Kate woke to silence. The hotel room sounded nothing like her apartment. There was no traffic noise, no honking horns or sirens. She had to assume that was also why she had slept so soundly. She picked up her cell phone to check the time. She jumped out of the bed; it was twenty minutes after ten. She knew they had to be downstairs to meet the guys at eleven. Fortunately, years on the job had allowed her to perfect the skill of getting ready on the fly. She could do in twenty minutes what most women needed an hour to achieve. A half an hour later she stood in front of the mirror dressed in one of the outfits Castle had bought for her. She had to admit he had taste, or at least knew her taste. The charcoal colored low rise boot cut jeans fit perfectly, maybe a little more snugly in the hips and backside than she normally wore, but she was sure Castle had done that on purpose for his own amusement. The lavender color of the tank top was a little more feminine than she would have picked out, but she knew that purple shades were known for enhancing green eyes, and this shade did not disappoint. There was also a white tailored shirt with green and lavender stripes. They were larger than pinstripes but still fairly thin. If it had been a work day, she would have buttoned it up and tucked it in, but not today. There was even a pair of boots that she herself would have picked, had she seen them in the store. The leather was much better quality than anything she owned, which surprised her, because when it came to leather, she had keen taste. With her makeup done and hair pulled up in a messy but well purposed bun, she was ready to go. She stepped out of the room and immediately saw Castle across the suite sitting at the small dining table. He was reading the paper, if you considered laughing at the comics, reading the paper. She quickly noticed he wore an almost matching outfit to hers. He was wearing jeans in the same charcoal color as hers and his polo shirt was the exact same color lavender as the tank she wore.

'_How did he do that?' _she thought to herself. There were at least four outfits that she could have chosen from and he knew which one she would pick. _'Was she that predictable or was he just_ _that good?' _

"Richard Castle!" She used the stern tone that she usually reserved for the times he was touching something at a crime scene that he shouldn't.

He looked up with a startled and confused looked on his face, "What, I'm not touching anything?"

"Why did you let me sleep so late?" She tried to keep the stern tone, but the bewilderment in his eyes made him look so darn cute. The smile curling at the corners of her mouth betrayed her. And she knew he noticed.

"I figured you needed your beauty rest, after all you are going to be on the arm of the famous Richard Castle today. I can't have my arm candy looking tired now can I?"

While he spoke she made her way across the room to him. She gave him a sultry eye wag and reached towards his face. She could see he clearly expected her to give him a good morning kiss. He was shocked when she grabbed him by the ear and twisted it.

The smirk fell from Castle's face as he cringed and yelled, "Apples Apples! I was just kidding, Kate."

She let his ear go and gave him a look that told him to never ever call her arm candy again. He clearly got the message. But before she could step away, he had her by the waist and pulled her into his lap. "I was going to let you sleep until 10:30, but I heard the shower turn on at twenty after, so I knew you were up."

"Thank you Castle, that was sweet of you. How long have you been up?"

"I got up a little before eight. I walked Alexis down and put her in a cab. She wanted to be home before nine so she could get some studying done before she and Ashley's date later today."

Kate was surprised, "Eight? We only went to sleep around five, aren't you exhausted?"

"You know me; I'm like the energizer bunny. I keep going and going and going." He laughed as he gave her a quick squeeze. "Good morning to you, how did you sleep?"

"Like a log," Kate replied. "It's so quiet. I didn't stir once." With that, she couldn't resist anymore, she leaned in and gave him a long kiss. "Good morning to you too."

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Ten minutes later they were on their way downstairs to the Roosevelt Grill. Castle couldn't help but smile as Kate willingly held his hand and leaned into his shoulder while they walked. He never dreamed it would be this easy. He always thought that if he ever convinced her to give them a chance, it would still take some time for her to be comfortable with it, and even then he expected it would involve some kicking and screaming. As they entered the elevator she released his hand and wrapped one arm around his waist and hooked her thumb in a belt loop at his hip. He naturally placed his arm around her shoulder. They rode in comfortable silence for more than a few floors before he spoke.

"What are you thinking?"

"Isn't that usually the girl's line Castle?" When he didn't respond, she knew he was in a serious mood. "I was thinking, what a difference twenty-four hours makes." She smiled at him. "A difference for the better."

Before he could respond the elevator doors opened and they made their way to the restaurant. As they approached the entrance, they saw Lanie and Esposito. "Hey guys, how are you this morning?" Kate asked the couple.

"Girl, if I had known what your man was capable of before, I would have taken him for myself!" Lanie's confession was not a surprise to Kate, but Esposito had something to say about it.

"Hey bro, I appreciate all the perks that come along with being your friend, but I gotta draw the line somewhere. How am I gonna compete with this weekend?" Esposito was only half joking.

Castle decided to only address the joking half, "Hey, if Lanie ain't happy ain't nobody happy." He reached out and fist bumped Esposito as they laughed.

Kate and Lanie both gave exaggerated eye roles as the hostess seated them. Ryan and Jenny were already at the table and Jim Beckett arrived a few minutes later. Kate was surprised to see him, but didn't bother to ask. She was sure it was somehow Castle's doing. The group settled into a comfortable rhythm. There was plenty of eating, talking and laughing. Surprisingly there was no shop talk. No mention of the murders or autopsies that usually occupied their conversations. Today they were just a group of friends enjoying each other's company. Kate reflected on all the time she had spent with them over the years. All the near death situations they had survived together. Somehow, while they waded through the mud and the muck of murder and human depravity, they had become a family, her family. Kate glanced at her father. He was no longer the only tangible thread that connected her to this world. Her life was now intertwined with the lives of people she loved and who loved her.

As if on cue and reading her mind, Castle stood with his glass in hand. "True happiness consists not in the multitude of friends, but in their worth and choice."

As they all accepted the toast and touched glasses in agreement, Kate spoke in the soft voice Castle had come to know as her introspective one, "Samuel Johnston."

In amazement Castle looked down at her and their eyes met. Sometime he forgot that she was just as, if not more, well read than him. It was just another example of the things she kept hidden from most people. His heart did a flip in his chest to know that she trusted him with that part of herself.

"Very good Detective," he continued to stand with his hand outstretched. "Let's see if you know this one." He made a mental note to include this new little game into their usual banter. He wanted to spend every day being surprised by the depth of her intellect. "In my family and friends I have discovered treasure more valuable than gold." When neither she nor anyone else at the table responded, Castle sat down in triumph. "That, my friends, was Jimmy Buffet."

An hour later after they were all sufficiently stuffed the friends decided to go separate ways. Jenny and Ryan had planned a movie. Lanie and Esposito planned to stay in for the rest if the weekend. Jim was headed home but only after promising to be at Castle's loft for Easter dinner the next day. Kate and Castle decided to do some window shopping. They visited the same shops she had peeked into the previous night. Mostly they just browsed until she spotted something she wanted. Kate had a weakness for leather jackets. She owned one in practically every color and style. In fact, since the bombing in her apartment the previous year, the bulk of her clothing budget had been spent replacing her leather jacket collection. But, she had never seen one in this color. It wasshort only coming to the top of her hip bone. The sleeves were snug enough that she could scrunch them up her arms, like she preferred. And the lavender color perfectly matched the tank top she currently wore. The leather quality was identical to the boots she had put on this morning and had appreciated so much. When she looked at the price, she nearly fell over. It would put a serious dent in her credit card, but she wanted it regardless. She was happy to see Castle distracted by something in the corner. She knew he would insist on paying. Kate made her way to the counter and handed the desired item to the young clerk.

"I don't need a shopping bag; I plan on wearing it out of the store." Kate explained to the young woman.

Before Kate had a chance to pull her credit card out of her pocket, the clerk was handing her the jacket, minus the price tag and security devices. "You're all set Miss Beckett, have a nice day and enjoy the rest of your stay at the Roosevelt Hotel."

"But I haven't paid yet?" Kate argued.

"Per previous instructions, it was charged to your room." The clerk quietly walked away to assist another patron.

Kate angrily turned to find Castle, but he was no longer in the small boutique. She could see him through the shop window. He was standing with his back to her, rocking back and forth from heel to toe. His feigned innocent act was borderline cartoonish. As she approached him she half expected to see his lips pursed together while he whistled.

"Castle, I do not want you buying me anything else. You have done enough this weekend." Her tone came out harsher than she had planned but he didn't seem fazed at first. "I have been clothing myself for many years now, I don't need you…" As her thoughts became muddled in her head, her words trailed off and the resulting statement made was not the statement intended. The look on Castle's face changed from amused to somber in an instant. "I'm sorry Castle; I didn't mean that the way it came out. You know I've always been independent and for a split second I felt like that independence was being taken away from me. Can you forgive me?" Kate looped her arm in his and tried to read his expression. She was quickly relieved when he smiled at her.

"Kate, there is nothing to forgive. I just have a favor to ask of you." Castle waited for her to acknowledge the request. She did so with a nod of her head and a gentle nudge of her elbow to his ribs. "When I do things for you, it's not because a doubt your ability to do them for yourself. It's because I want to, plain and simple. I want to make you happy. I mean, what's the point in having all this money if I can't use it to put smiles on the faces of the people I care for? Can you just try to remember that?"

"Yes," Kate paused and placed her hands on either side of his face. As she leaned in to give him a kiss she said, "Thank you for the gift, I love it."

After a long sensual kiss, maybe too long and sensual for the public place in which they stood, Kate searched his blue eyes and saw the forgiveness she sought. "Why Katherine Beckett, if that is how you ask for forgiveness, I hope to have you mad at me more often. By the way, you look fantastic in that outfit, wherever did you get it?"

The rest of the day went pretty much the same way. They walked and talked. Through Central Park, through the Museum of Modern Art and then back to the hotel. Time seemed to stand still and to fly by at the same time. By the time they made it back to their room, it was close to eight o'clock. They decided to order room service and stay in for the evening. While they waited for the food, they both changed into the same sleepware they had worn the night before. When Kate came out of her room she found Castle sitting sideways on the couch writing in a notebook. It didn't look familiar. He usually carried a pocket sized pad and scribbled notes as he found things pertinent to the case they were working. As she came around to sit with him, he laid the notebook on the coffee table and invited her to sit between his legs leaning her back against his chest. She rested her head next to his and they each wrapped their hands in others'. Castle placed gentle kissed in her hair as she held his hands to her lips and provided the same affection.

Kate finally interrupted the silence. "May I ask what you were writing? I don't recognize that." She gestured toward the notebook he had placed on the coffee table.

"Actually, I wasn't writing, just rereading." He reached for the notepad and held it in front of her. Before opening it he felt he needed to explain its origins. "When I first started shadowing you for research, I needed a way to keep the information organized so I could go back and review it to see which cases should be in the books. Anyway, I decided to make it pretty simple. Each page is a case." He opened the notebook to the first page to show Kate what he meant. "See, it's a pretty simple concept." He showed her the format.

_Victim Name:_

_Killer:_

_Cause of Death:_

_Weapon:_

_Motive:_

She noticed that he was covering the last notation on the page. "What's at the bottom?" She asked as she placed her hand over his.

He seemed hesitant to show her at first, but then realized he wanted her to see it. "I also decided to make an additional notation for each case. At first it was just to help me in developing the character of Nikki Heat, but soon I realize that I had to do it, it was like an obsession."

Kate figured it out before he moved his hand. "They're notations about me aren't they?"

"During every case, I learned something new about you, so I just jotted it down. It's not in any specific format. There is really no rhyme or reason to them. Some of them are funny and lighthearted, but some are more serious."

"Castle, you don't need to explain. If you don't want me to read it, I won't." She closed the notebook and leaned to set it back on the table.

Castle stopped her, "No, I want you to read them, but I can honestly say I'm a little nervous. I haven't read them all in awhile and I don't want…"

She interrupted him mid sentence, and brought the book back to her lap. "Let's make a deal, if I don't understand something or take offense, I will ask you to explain." She felt his chin move against her shoulder, so she knew he had nodded in agreement. This unsure side of him was new to her. He knew she loved his writing, he had guessed that truth two days into their partnership, so his hesitation now was puzzling to her. She opened the notebook to the first page she figured they had worked about fifty cases. She couldn't imagine that he had learned fifty unique things about her, so she was anxious and began to read. She went straight to the bottom line of each page. She smiled when she saw the label.

_KB: _

_Hardcore Cop/Hardcore Fan/ Hardcore Walls_

_One and Done_

_Damn those legs go on forever_

"Castle, I thought you said it was something you learned about me. Does that really count?

He laughed, "Yeah that counts, I learned you have amazing legs."

She just rolled her eyes and turned to the next page.

_Ouch my ear hurts, will need to keep my safe word handy_

_Both a hero and a victim_

Kate choked back the lump in her throat. That was the case after which she had told him about her mother.

_She thinks I'm shallow_

_I do want to know where she kept that badge_

_Poker Face/Gummi Bears_

_Will Sorenson is a fool_

Her eyes filled with tears as she pointed to the words and looked back at Castle. "That really wasn't about me, it was more about Will."

He kissed her on the cheek and assured her. "Oh trust me that was all about you." He encouraged her to keep going by turning to the next page for her.

_EXTRAORDINARY_

_Muscovite/She is willing to forgive/Has actually seen Turner and Hooch_

_Never bet against her_

_She looks so cute in a tennis skirt_

Kate gasped, "I will kill them, they promised not to tell you about that."

Castle laughed, "See you so could quit your job and become a Supermodel."

_CIA conspiracy theories only serve to intensify the eye roll_

_She would miss me if I left_

_Hates Halloween _

_Cares more about the living left behind than the dead_

_Fiercely defends those she cares about_

_Would be a great mother_

Kate remembered that day, Alexis called for her instead of her father, he'd been crushed. Kate pulled Castle's hand tighter around her waist. She leaned back into him. "You know I think the world of her, don't you?"

He pressed his lips against her head again and just hugged her tighter.

_She can still be shocked_

_Likes dogs_

_Struggles with the green eyed monster_

Kate just jabbed him in the ribs, but she was beginning to see the shift in the tone of his notes. There was more than just observation behind them and she was touched.

_Easily falls down the rabbit hole/I hope she know she is no longer there alone?/Pigtails?_

_Food tastes better when I eat it with her_

She didn't bother to tell him that note was not really about her either. She just kept turning the pages and reading.

_Baseball Fan_

_Such a tease_

_Frightened/Wants to be a mom/Gorgeous Naked Body, not that I was looking_

Kate looked up to see that this was the case they worked with Agent Shaw. She made a mental to note to question the second of his three observations from that case.

_Demented sense of humor_

_She looks out for me_

_Fierce loyalty to her team_

_She was a typical teenager_

_I am in love with her_

Kate's heart skipped in her chest, she refused to look up the page to see what case they were investigating when he wrote this, but as she turned to the next page, she figured it out.

_I love her so much, that if someone else makes her happy, then I won't stand in the way_

She knew this was when he left for the Hamptons last summer. She held back the tears; she so desperately wanted to keep reading. She could feel Castle's chest rising and falling against her back. She noticed it had become ragged. She turned her head to look at him. He had his eyes closed. He knew she was looking at him, and he spoke without opening them. "I have the rest of them memorized; I don't need to read them with you."

_She let me win the bet/She missed me/Demming wasn't her One and Done_

_She doesn't believe in psychics_

_How much more heartbreak does she have to endure?_

_She has a new boyfriend/I hate Motorcycles and Heart Surgeons _

Kate couldn't help but laugh as Castle whined in her ear, "Hey, it's not funny. He was so tall and handsome. I didn't think I could compete."

Kate shifted and gave him a little nibble on the chin, "He never really stood a chance." She continued to read.

_The burden must be unbearable_

She knew he was talking about the Triple Killer case. She didn't bother to tell him that wasn't about her either.

_She is adorable when, in embarrassment, she covers her mouth with her a hand_

_She's not afraid of the dark_

_I liked waking up next to her, even if it was in the car and the government had just kidnapped us_

_She has a beautiful singing voice_

_She wants it to be intimate_

_ICECUBES?_

_She trusts me/It's not about the books anymore_

By now, the tears were flowing freely from her eyes and she could no longer see past them to read. When she didn't turn the page immediately, Castle must have noticed and he took the book from her. He turned each page, but spoke from memory.

_Why doesn't she dream big?_

_She believes in me_

_She already has someone she can dive into it with/There would be no better way to die than holding her hand_

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**I hope nobody found that tedious. I just figured the chances of Castle having notes on each case would be good. I just tried to think of what he might take from each case. Anyway, you have no idea how long it took to go through each episode to find just the right thing. Some of them were obvious, but some were not so simple. Let me know if it worked, or if it was an epic fail. **


	9. Chapter 9

**Ok, I kind of fibbed in the last A/N. This chapter will not move us too much further along in time. I promise, the next one will move us along about a month or so. I realized that although Kate was willing, her fears and hesitations would rear their ugly heads at some point. So, this chapter is another sappy one to help get her final internal tug of war out of the way. From here on out it will mostly be external obstacles that trip them up a bit. Also, I feel I channel Kate's inner thoughts more than Castle's. Can't help it, being female causes me to be able to relate to her better. Anyway, the bulk of this one is from his viewpoint.**

**Enjoy**

**Don't own them, but they sure do take up my time as if I did...**

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Kate sat in silence, lost in thought. The knock at the door didn't even register and she barely noticed Castle trying to climb his way from behind her and off the soda. She was distracted by the thought of how he never ceased to amaze her. How could he make her feel so loved, so accepted with just a few strokes of his pen. She wasn't sure how she was going to respond, anything she came up with in her head just seemed so inadequate. She almost jumped out of her skin when Castle placed his hand on her shoulder and gently removed the notebook that she was now hugging to her chest. He placed it on the table and led her to the dining area. She was surprised to see the table set with two full plates of food and glasses full of wine. Finally clearing the haze from her mind a bit, she spoke.

"I didn't even realize dinner had arrived."

"I noticed" was all Castle said but his expression held more. He could tell she wasn't quite ready to open up as she said, "I'm starving, this looks delicious."

They sat down and enjoyed the meal together. They talked about the food and about the day in general. Castle sensed the quiet mood that had taken her over, but decided not to poke at it just yet. He wasn't sure what was eating at her, but he knew, in her own time she would open up. Suddenly fear rushed over him, fear that the notebook had been too much too soon. But, she had asked to read it and and if he'd denied her, she may have thought he was keeping a secret. Castle had decided a long time ago that this relationship would hold no secrets, he would play no games. Kate Beckett was not to be toyed with. He watched as she ate every morsel on her plate. He could tell she was full about ten bites ago, she was now using the food as a device to stall. After gulping down the last of her wine, Kate leaned back in her chair with a sigh. She spoke without lifting her eyes from the napkin she was kneading over and over in her hands.

"Castle, quit staring at me, it's creepy." Her tone held a hint of levity, but her voice cracked with raw emotion as she delivered the familiar line.

Castle just continued to wait her out, and boy, could she be stubborn. Despite her request, he refused to lift his gaze from her face. He could almost see the metaphorical walls being chiseled away chunk by chunk. She was putting up a good fight. After another couple of minutes the internal battle finally ceased. Thankfully the only victim lost to it was the napkin that now lay shredded in her lap. She let out another long sigh and finally looked to his face. In that quick glance Castle knew the winner of the battle and he waited for her to speak.

"It's weird" she hesitated for a second.

Knowing she needed encouragement Castle brushed a strand of hair from her face then slid his hand down her cheek, then to her neck down, then down her arm to finally rest on her hand in her lap. He hoped the loving gesture was enough to encourage her to continue.

"Looking at yourself through someone else's eyes." She stated flatly.

Castle needed clarification on this one, "Good weird or bad weird?"

"Eye-opening, exhilarating, excruciating... Give me an adjective and it would probably fit."

Her smile eased his earlier concern that letting her read his notes was a mistake. But he could tell by the barely visible squint in her eyes that this wasn't done. He knew the next step would require a little more prodding.

"Now that we have the adjectives covered, why don't you string some nouns and verbs together and tell me why you are chewing your bottom lip like you haven't eaten in a week when we both know that isn't the case?" To help further his point and to help lighten the air that had settled heavy around them, Castle released her hand and lovingly patted the cute little bump that had developed in the few minutes since they had finished their meal.

"Hey Dr. Spock, hands off the _food baby_!" She and Castle both laughed as she slapped his hand and then wove her fingers back into his.

They both recognize the flash in the other's eyes. The flash of the future they both new would most likely come to pass. A future that held something much more promising than a _food baby_. Knowing they had both gone to the same place in their minds, Castle decided to address it without actually addressing it. He turned his chair to face her. Their knees were touching, he leaned forward and took her free hand in his free one.

"Kate, we will never make it there if we can't talk to each other, so whatever it is we will walk through it together."

His words held a promise of the future she so desperately wanted. Never before had she dreamed of a family of her own, but now the desire to create a family with Richard Castle actually caused a tug and ache to form in the most intimate parts of her female anatomy. But Castle was right. Simply wanting something would not make it come to fruition. Desire alone could not sustain a relationship much less a family. No matter how hard it was for her to open up, even to him, she knew she had to.

"Why?" she asked. Clearly expecting Castle to fill in the blanks of that question.

Over the last two years, Castle had heard that simple word cross her lips many times. In her vocation, asking questions was a paramount task, but the _Why _wasn't always important to most cops. To Detective Beckett, though, it always mattered. He mostly heard it in the interrogation room, sitting across from a suspected murderer, Kate was the epitome of confidence. She questioned the most vial of criminals with pure steel in her voice. But always, the word _Why _came out sounding like a question from a small child. Castle had noticed this fairly early on in their partnership. The way her voice softened, the way the word lingered on her tongue and the almost nasally undercurrent it held as she asked it_, Why_. He knew she hated the question. Asking a murderer _why_ was as futile as trying to pour raindrops back into a cloud. The day Kate Beckett actually understood the answer to that question was they day she would turn in her shield. But when asking him, though the word sounded the same, the answer needed to make sense. He knew what she was asking, but couldn't believe she was actually asking it. Kate Beckett was asking him_ why _he loved her. For a few seconds words failed him. Words were his his comfort, his safe place. Thankfully, they only failed him briefly before his head was flooded with more words than he could string together intelligently. And as he began to give voice to the torrent, he could only pray that they came out right.

"Kate, you have got to be the most exasperating woman I have ever met." He was surprised he had led with that, and by the look on Kate's face, so was she. "AND the most compassionate, amazing, beautiful, intelligent, strong..."

"Seriously with the adjectives?" She jabbed him in the chest playfully, but her eyes still held the seriousness of the earlier asked question.

"You're right, I am better with metaphors, so here goes. You're the sun that warms that my face. You're the comeback to every joke I crack. You're the missing piece in the jumbled up jigsaw puzzle that has been my life." Kate groaned at his cheesiness and Castle smiled and tugged at her hands to make sure she was still with him. He continued, but the comparisons became more earnest. "You're the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thought that takes me into dreamland every night. You're the destination I have been traveling towards my whole life. You're the Etymology to every word I write, you're it for me Kate."

Kate held back tears, but the quiver in her voice was evident. "How can I be all those things? I bring nothing to the table, Castle. You are The Richard Castle. Your words reach millions and your humor fills rooms with laughter. I'm just a cop with a tragic story and a keen ability to keep everyone at arms length." Kate knew she sounded a little dramatic, but he had asked for honest and this was as honest as it got.

Castle knew how to answer this one and there was no hesitation. "My words may reach millions, but they were only ever written to reach one. My books hold one purpose and one purpose only. They were the bookmark saving my place until I could find my way into your life and eventually into your heart. Years before we ever met, they were fulfilling that purpose. Your story is not tragic, to me it is epic and being a cop is what you do, it is not who you are. There is a difference you know. And as for my humor, there is no one's laughter I care to hear in my ears but yours. All my jokes are for you."

Castle could tell she was trying hard to absorb his words and was taking them in as the truth they were. Still, there was something, "Say it Kate, whatever it is, just say it."

She chewed doubly hard on her lip and she squinted her eyes as she stared into his. She was not looking into his blue orbs anymore. She was looking past them into his soul. He had laid it bare. His entire being was splayed out for her examination. In a way he felt like one of the bodies that so irreverently dropped into her path. But he wasn't worried, he knew she would treat him with the same respect he did them. Kate finally gave voice to the concern that had been buried beneath the pile of baggage they had been wading through for the last twenty minutes.

"But you do all the work in this." She gestured between the two of them with her hands even as they remained clasped to his.

Castle was shocked and actually laughed a bit. Did Kate actually believe she was an inactive participant in this relationship? He had never seen her insecure and he laughed harder as he thought about it. But she wasn't laughing, she was deadly serious. "Kate, do you think bringing you doughnuts and coffee and buying you gifts makes me the only one bringing anything to the table? To us? Seriously?"

"Well at least you do something. I just work and put obstacles in your way." Kate knew she was sounding more and more like a petulant child, but all her fears and insecurities had come to the surface tonight and she was fighting the urge to shut him out. And after the promises they had made the previous night, she knew she couldn't do that. "What do I do for you? What makes me worthy of your heart?"

With a huge grin on his face, looking a bit like a kid in a candy store Castle said, "Simple, you're you." He new very good and well that answer simple would not suffice, but he wanted to let it sink in before he continued. "The you that has made me a better Father, a better Son, a better Writer, a better Friend and a better Partner, and I'm not talking professionally with that last one. You have grounded me. I am no longer a fool wandering aimlessly like I was before. I hate to plagiarize someone else's work, but I don't know any other way to say it. You complete me. Without pretense or patronization you have molded me into the man I was meant to be but had so long avoided." With that, Castle had no more words, he had to hope his honestly would be enough and he waited for her to respond.

Kate had listened to every beautiful and wonderful word that Castle said and the more he spoke the more her heart softened. She knew he loved her, of that she had no doubt. She could feel it in eveything he did, but her head had tried to play its old tricks on her. And Castle was up for the challenge. His patience and honesty had busted through another wall in her heart. She still wasn't convinced she was deserving of it, but she sure was going to be accepting. As he ended his soliloquy, Kate could no longer hold back the emotion that threatened to break her. She moved herself into his lap and wrapped her arms tightly around him as she cried.

Castle could only hold her and caress her back and hip as she emptied herself into his neck. He was not surprised by the depth and volume of her emotion and he calmed any fears she may have about expressing them to him. "You know, you could only hold back the floodgates for so long. Even with walls as well constructed as yours, it was only a matter of time before the pressure became to great and it had to come spilling out. Let me help you wash it all away, Kate. Twelve years is just way too long to bear it alone." He was content to comfort her as long as she needed. Forever if she asked. As he felt the tension drain from her body he couldn't help but wonder how many more walls she had in her. He knew there were more, but he also knew that he was in deeper than anyone the had ever been before and he was willing to continue the voyage. He knew she wasn't completely unguarded yet, but they had come along way in the last few days. He was happy that were now on this voyage together and when the next obstacle arose, they would weather it as one.

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**I know, pure sap, and Kate cries alot, but hey, she has alot of baggage. **

**Also, the thing about the way she says why. Check out some old eps. She really does say that word differently than others and she does it every time.**

**Oh, and the reviews for the last chapter were great. It was the one I was most hesitant about, and you guys encouraged me so much. A few of you have said that some of his notes were hard to match to their ep. So, if you have any specific questions as to which one or why, I can try to answer...**


	10. Chapter 10

**Ok, as promised a little jump forward in time...**

**Thank you for all the great reviews. I am glad eveyone is enjoying my little story. I'm sorry I can't respond to them all but I hope you keep them coming anyway..**

**Don't own them, if I did I wouldn't believe in reruns**

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The next month flew by for both Kate and Castle.

They had finished up their first weekend together with a lovely day at Castle's loft. He'd filled a pink basket full of candy and other goodies for his daughter. Kate couldn't help but think it was more the Easter Basket of a six-year-old schoolgirl. But, by the way Alexis squealed as she riffled through the chocolates and cheep toys, Kate could tell that it was more about the tradition than tangibles. Kate was delighted when she was invited to join the Father and Daughter on the living room floor as they devoured much of the candy and played with the childish toys that included things like silly putty, a peg game like the ones you see at country style restaurants in the Midwest and a yo-yo. They followed that with a few rousing hands of Uno and laughed their way through pages of Mad-libs. Kate couldn't remember the last time she had laughed hard enough to make both her sides and cheeks hurt.

Around noon, Alexis began to prepare the meal. The ham had been in the oven for a while, but now she was concentrating on the accompaniments. Kate offered many times to help, but apparently this was also their tradition. Castle took her back to the living room and explained that over the years, Easter and Father's Day had become the two holidays of which Alexis was completely in charge of the meals. He did the rest, like Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years and of course Halloween. Kate's heart melted a little as she tried to imagine a young Alexis and her millionaire Father creating these moments together. Just as her heart softened there was also a hardened spot beginning to form. She was not usually one to judge others' motives, but at that moment she was pretty sure she had never hated anyone as much as she did Meredith. How had she just walked away from this, from them? How could she not want to cherish every moment of Alexis's life? Didn't she know what she was missing? The hate quickly changed to pity.

Jim Beckett arrived just in time for dinner and Martha came sauntering down the stairs fashionably late as ever. They all got along great and the conversation flowed comfortably. Martha told stories of her Richard as a boy and Jim in turn told stories of his young Katie which then naturally progressed into Castle telling stories about Alexis. His imagination and creative storytelling skills did not exclude the tales of his pride and joy, and Alexis corrected him as quickly as he told them. After dinner Martha left to visit some friends and Kate and Jim sat in the living room while Castle and Alexis cleaned up the dinner dishes. They had refused assistance saying that guests were not allowed to help.

Jim left after another hour or so and the three of them that were left settled in for a movie. Kate didn't really follow what was happening on screen. She was too busy relishing in the warmth of Castle's embrace as he held her next to him on the couch. Though this was all new to her, if felt like home. Nothing had felt this right since her mother's death. She refused to let the melancholy in. She knew the best way to honor her mother's memory was to live well, and she was determined to do just that, not just professionally but personally, as well.

Much to Kate's surprise, at the end of the movie Castle called for a cab to take her home. She agreed that she could use a little space before the workweek started up again. Before she left he gave her proper goodbye and for the first time that day, Kate was relieved that Alexis was not around to see it.

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The next month or so flew by for them both. Things had fallen into place at work. In fact the more they were together personally the more in tune they became professionally. The theory building, which was effective before they began dating, was now like second nature. In fact, many times they barely spoke in complete sentences and anyone witnessing the exchange would most likely have no idea what they were even talking about. Much of their time was spent with one another. If she stayed late at the precinct, he was right there offering nourishment to sustain her. In the event of a slow day, they would take advantage and go out to lunch. Many evenings were spent at a quiet out-of-the-way restaurant or at Castle's loft eating with Alexis and most likely watching a movie or playing a board game. Alexis had quickly put a ban on playing Scrabble. She had never been able to win against her Dad, but the dual beating she took from the combination of he and Kate was ridiculous.

Most evenings they found themselves alone and left to their own devices. Of course they had no problem thinking of things to occupy their time. Many of the intimate moments they now shared contained a similar antagonistic and playful tone to that of their pre-dating relationship. They teased each other and spent a lot of time laughing in each other's arms.

Castle quickly found out that Kate was a biter. She often nipped at his neck and had even left marks on his earlobes on more than one occasion. He shouldn't have been surprised considering the way she gnawed on her bottom lip when she was concentrating. He even teased her once about her parents being proud that she had found another use for the smile they had paid a _dazzling_ amount for. Of course that just earned him a jab to the ribs, something else she was very good at. His favorite discovery was the little known secret that Kate was slightly ticklish. When he ran his fingers down the length of her sides and hit just the right spot with just the right amount of pressure the nasally little chuckle it elicited from her had become music to his ears.

As in tune as he had become to her, she had similarly made discoveries about him. Castle's tendencies that drove her crazy at work were the same tendencies that drove her wild during their frequent times alone together. Instead of scolding him like she would at a crime scene; she loved that he wanted to touch everything when they were together. His hands burned paths across her body and they soon became a drug to her, she couldn't get enough. And that mouth, the same mouth that she sometimes wished would just shut up, was the same mouth that elicited emotions and sounds from her that she didn't even know existed.

Though their emotional bond grew exponentially every day, they had not progressed physically past their late evening frenzied make out sessions. They both knew just how far to take it before they parted ways for the night. It wasn't something they hadn't discussed much passed their first night at the hotel when things had almost gotten out of hand too soon. They both knew they wanted to take that next step, but wanted it to happen naturally and for it not to happen in a way they would regret afterward. They planned to go to Castle's place in the Hamptons the following week and it had kind of become a non-verbal understanding between them that the inevitable would most likely occur then.

Lanie, Esposito and Ryan had all requested that week off so they could take advantage of their auction windfall. The three of them along with Jenny had begged Castle and Kate to come along, and since her team was off anyway Capt. Montgomery had taken her out of the rotation, she didn't see why she shouldn't also take some of her vacation days. They'd also decided to forego the house staff that had originally come as part of the trip. They decided it would be cozier if they all took turns cooking and Castle rescheduled the maid service to just come at the end of the week to clean up after them.

Tomorrow was to be the last day of work before the trip, but after today neither Kate nor Castle was so sure they would be going anywhere together. Kate was lying in her bed staring at the ceiling. She couldn't remember ever feeling as guilty as she did at this moment. She'd been right to be angry with him. She couldn't allow him to interfere with her job. He sure couldn't undermine the authority she had worked so hard to achieve. However, he didn't deserve the things she said to him as they stood in his study earlier that evening.

At the same time, across town, Castle sat motionless in his study. He was running the day over and over in his mind. He knew immediately that what he'd done was wrong. He had accepted the well-deserved cold shoulder from Kate all day since the incident. When they'd barely crossed the threshold of his loft this evening he began to apologize profusely for his mistake, but she was having none of it. Her anger could not be subsided. Eventually Castle just stopped listening. He was surprised when she stomped out of his study and out the front door without so much as a glance over her shoulder. He knew there was something else behind the tirade and that the things she had said would later embarrass her. Castle almost fell out of his chair at the sound his cell made as it lay on the desk in front of him. He knew without looking that the text was from Kate.

K: **Can we talk 4 a sec or text rather**

Castle released the worried breath he was sure he'd been holding since she left his loft hours ago.

C: **Always….**

The pang of guilt in her stomach increased with his response. _'How could he so easily be there for her after the way she treated him?'_

K: **I didn't mean the things I said I'm sorry**

He wasn't going to let her off that easily.

R: **Did u mean something u didn't say**

Oh, she hated it when he used his words. He was just so good at it.

K: **Maybe**

R: **Come on Kate u have 2 give me something I'm easy but not that easy**

She couldn't resist that one.

K: **Easy huh I like that n a guy**

_'God they were good at this part,' _Castle thought to himself. '_Why did the hard stuff have to be so hard?'_ he snorted at himself for that question. _'Duh, and you're a writer.' _His thought was interrupted by another text.

K: **I was scared**

Like so many times before, when Kate was ready to talk her thoughts came out in fragments and Castle was expected to fill in the blanks. Again, this was second nature to him. He knew where this conversation was going. He was on his feet as he began to type.

C: **So was I, that's why I said what I said**

K: **But we've been n that situation many times b4**

C: **Same situation different circumstances I really am sorry it won't happen again**

Kate knew he was being sincere. He had only acted out of concern. Asking Esposito and Ryan to enter the suspect's apartment first instead of her, was just the knee jerk reaction of any man in love. He didn't want her to get hurt. But all she could think of was his safety. She couldn't place his well-being in anyone else's hands. Not even the two detectives she trusted with her own life. He was too important to her.

K: **As long as u shadow me it is my job 2 protect u**

C: **I know**

K: **It's my primary objective I can't let u get hurt**

He knew what she meant, but he needed to lighten the conversation a bit. He could tell it was close and he just needed a few more minutes.

C: **I signed the paperwork remember I can't sue the city**

Kate smiled as she remembered the beginning of their partnership. If she had only known then what she knew now.

K: **I wouldn't survive it**

When he didn't respond quickly she typed again

K: **Castle?**

She wasn't sure why he wasn't responding. All he knew is that she wished he was here with her.

C: **Open ur front door Kate**

Kate realized why he hadn't responded to her, he had been making his way to her apartment the whole time. She practically jumped out of bed and ran to the front door. She had never wanted to see him as much as she did that moment. When she pulled open the door she threw her arms around his neck and clung to him as if her life depended on it. In fact it did, and she knew it and she needed him to know it. She pulled back from his chest and cupped his face in her hands.

Castle watched her with amusement as the most genuine smile spread across her amazingly beautiful face. Never had he seen Kate Beckett completely free of tension. He had known at the beginning of their text conversation that she was ready to say the words that her actions had been conveying for the last month. There was no way he was going to let her say it via text. Now he was just basking in her light, waiting for the three most wonderful words he could possibly ever hear cross her lips.

Kate saw the knowing look in his eyes as well as the emerging tears. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed each of his eyes dry before she spoke. With her lips only inches from his, the last wall crumbled to dust.

"I love you Richard Castle."

"I love you too Katherine Beckett"

No more words were said that evening. Their lips never parted as Castle leaned forward and grabbed the back of her naked thighs in his strong hands. He lifted her light body as she wrapped her muscular legs around his waist. He carried her into the bedroom where they slept the night wrapped in each other's loving embrace. They needed nothing else in that moment but to be present, heart and soul, with the person they loved more than anyone else they had ever loved before. The person they would never stop loving for the rest of their lives, together.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**Hey, you know they had to have a fight sometime and I don't like the whole papparazi thing that I read in other FF stories. I think if Castle is able to jaunt about town and go to crime scenes and undercover without the press, then they must not be too intrusive. Also, I promise some Alexis/Kate bonding coming soon, at least a little in the next chapter and some more down the line...**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey, two nights in a row. Pretty impressive if I do say so myself. Especially since baseball season has started and the Cincinnati Reds are moments away from going 5 & 0. Yes, I live in Ohio and am about as crazy for the Reds and Bengals, and Tennis for that matter, as I am for Castle. **

**Th****is is a bit shorter than most of my other chapters, but I wanted to get some Kate/Alexis bonding time in since alot of people have asked for it. ****I have to laugh, a lot of reviewers include a thank you in their reviews, but it is I that should thank all of you for taking time to read my fluffy little story, so THANK YOU!**

**FYI: I am pretty old fashioned about relationships and I think that the big subjects (Marriage, Kids, Money, Religion) should be discussed up front. So I will be touching on most of these subjects as the story goes along. I hope you guys think I capture their inner thoughts in a way that is not too OOC.**

**I don't own them, but if I did they would have to move to Cincy, otherwise the season tickets wouldn't make sense.**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Kate quickly straightened the contents of her desk, making sure everything was put away. She had spent the morning finishing up the paperwork on her most recently closed case. Technically out of the rotation for the next week, she had no fear of being called out to a crime scene. Having just received a text from Castle that he and Alexis were pulling up out front, she stood and said goodbye to Ryan and Esposito and reminded them that brunch was scheduled for 10 am Sunday morning at Castle's home in the Hamptons. She and Castle were headed up later today to get an early start on the week. She also poked her head into the Captain's office.

"Have a good time Detective, you've earned some time for yourself. Tell Castle to enjoy himself too. I'll see you all next weekend."

Stepping out of the precinct into the warm June weather, Kate caught sight of Castle. He was leaning against the side of a cab with the door wide open. She couldn't help but appreciate how good he looked in a simple pair of jeans and a pale blue pullover shirt. Kate had quickly learned to like the casual look on him even better than the dress shirts and jackets he wore to the precinct. Of course, it didn't matter what kind of pants he wore, she could appreciate those assets either way. She couldn't help but smile as she threw a lustful eyebrow lift in his direction.

"Good afternoon to you too Detective." Castle's tone mirrored the look she'd just given him.

He had to admit that as much as he enjoyed watching her walk across the crowded sidewalk toward him, he much preferred the feel of her against him as she leaned in and greeted him with a few feathery kisses followed by a caress to his cheek. Any casual observer would have assumed by the duration and tenderness of their interaction that they had been apart for much longer than the four hours it had actually been.

Finally, Castle steered her toward the open door of the cab and she slid across the seat coming to rest next to Alexis who'd been watching the whole thing with amusement. The time spent together over the last month had brought Kate and Alexis much closer. Actually closer than Kate would have thought possible between any teenager and her dad's girlfriend. There was no awkwardness as Kate wrapped her left arm around Alexis's shoulders.

"Hey Sweetie, how are you?" The term of endearment had been exchanged many times and seemed to work for both of them.

"I'm fine." Alexis's expression did not match the positive nature of her words and she wasn't fooling anyone.

Castle slid in next to Kate and explained his daughters melancholy as he settled in. "Alexis is having second thoughts about visiting her Mother in California for the whole summer. I don't think we've ever been apart this long. I keep trying to encourage her to cut this trip short."

"I really want to, but this is going to be the last summer that I can visit her for awhile. Next year I'll be too busy preparing for college and who knows what I will be doing for the summer after that? I figure I owe her an extra long visit, even if it kills me."

Kate couldn't help but think it was silly for Alexis so feel obligated to Meredith for anything. Castle saw the look in her eye and felt the same. He reached over and took Kate's hand in his as they rode.

"If it helps, I will come out and see you at least once before the summer ends." They both knew it would probably help him more then her, but she played along and perked up quickly.

She grabbed Kate by the arm as she begged, "Will you come too?"

Kate was touched but wasn't sure her work schedule would allow her to make that commitment so quickly. "Don't you think you would rather spend some one-on-one time with your Dad? The two of you don't need me in the way." Despite her words, Kate hoped the girl would disagree.

"Come on Kate, you're part of the family now. I am going to miss you both. Can you at least think about it?" The doe-eyed look on Alexis's face could not be denied. It was a look she had inherited from her Father, and Kate had no power to deny it from him either.

Kate caved, "Okay, but I can't promise anymore than a few days."

Alexis smiled widely as Castle transferred Kate's hand from his left hand to his right. He wrapped his now free arm around her shoulders and before it came to rest, he gave his daughter's shoulder a quick squeeze. They rode the rest of the way to lunch in silence. An hour later, after having a nice meal at Cafe Habana, the three of them took another cab ride to the airport. Alexis insisted they could just drop her at the terminal, but both Kate and Castle insisted on walking her in and going as far as airport security would allow. Castle even considered buying himself and Kate a ticket just so they could sit with her until she boarded, but decided against it. His pumpkin was growing up. What would he do next year when she left for college? He had to shake the thought of it from his head for fear of turning into a puddle right in front of all these travelers. He loaded the luggage on a cart and followed the two most beautiful women on the planet into the terminal.

He had never seen his little girl bond with someone as quickly as she had Kate. Just another reason he knew she was his eternal. He couldn't help but swell with pride as he watched them walk arm-in-arm and talk animatedly about girl stuff. Just as he had never seen this side of Kate, the same could be said for Alexis. Castle felt a pang of guilt and regret that he'd not been able to provide Alexis with a better mother, but was glad that Kate could now provide some of what had been missing in her young life. Castle wouldn't change the relationship that he had forged with Alexis, and he was also ecstatic at the prospect of fatherhood a second time around. And this time he would be able to give his children, their children, what Alexis never had, a Mother. A Mother that would give her own life for them and would die before ever willingly abandoning them. Of course, with Kate's choice of career, facing single fatherhood was always possible. The thought of losing Kate made him physically ill, but the reality of the dangers her job held was not going to stop them from living the life they were now building together. They would plan on forever and would live each day like it was their last.

"Castle?... Rick?" Kate's voice broke through his daydreaming.

He had gotten lost in thought and hadn't noticed that they'd arrived at the ticket counter. He handed the luggage to the clerk and took care of checking Alexis in before they made their way to security. Kate and Alexis had both taken notice of his far off expression and took their places on each side of him. Kate held his hand while Alexis leaned into his side. He tried hard to think of any place he would rather be than with them, but came up empty.

Knowing they could go no further with her, Alexis first turned to Kate. She only had to hesitate a moment before Kate pulled her in for a hug. Kate kissed Alexis on the head and caressed her hair. She couldn't help but be reminded of her own mother comforting her the same way as she prepared to board a plane for Kiev over fifteen years ago. She fought back the tears as she spoke.

"Have fun with your Mom and don't let her get you into too much trouble."

She stepped back allowing Castle time with his daughter. She watched him with wonderment as he embraced Alexis. She could tell he was miserable at the thought of being away from her for so long. But she couldn't help but smile at the same time, she would never tire of watching Castle be a father. He was good at so many things, but none more than this. As much as he tried to say Alexis had raised herself, Kate knew the truth and looked forward to witnessing it herself with the children they would have together. Even though the thought of being a parent terrified her, it also somehow thrilled her to know that he would be her partner in that, as well. The uncertainty of her profession once gave her pause about ever having children, but if something were to ever happen to her and she could not be there with them forever, she took comfort in knowing he would be. He would be the same rock for their children that he had been and still was for Alexis.

The crack in Castle's voice as he spoke brought Kate back to the present. "I promise we will call you everyday and we will come get you at a moments notice if you need us." It was odd to hear him say we, but Kate found herself joining their embrace to fulfill her half of the promises he was making. It was new to her, this being a part of a whole, and she was beginning to understand and enjoy the responsibility it entailed. Eventhough Alexis was mature beyond her years, she seemed so young as she clung to them for a couple more minutes. Finally pulling back and saying one last goodbye as she kissed both her Father and Kate on the cheek. They turned to comforting each other as they watched her make her way through security. They didn't move from the spot they were standing in until Alexis finally turned the corner and was out of site.

Kate took Castle's hand, "Come on Pops, we've got to let her go now. She will be fine."

"I know, it just physically hurts to have her so far away." Castle's lower lip protruded past the top one as he pouted.

"Hey, what do you say later tonight I try my best to take your mind off missing Alexis?" Kate's innuendo managed to elicit a lusty smile from him.

"Promise?"

Kate rolled her eyes, "Promise"

Castle quickly raised his arm in the air, "Taxi!"

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**Click it!**

**Oh yeah, Go Reds!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Woohoo! Three nights in a row! Thanks for the reviews! As I was writing this chapter it made me wonder if Marlowe and Co. will ever let us see Castle's house in the Hamptons. I hope so...**

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After dropping Alexis off at the airport and stopping at his loft to grab their bags, Kate and Castle headed down to the parking garage. They'd kept their luggage to a minimum, knowing that if the weather cooperated, they would be taking his Ferrari to the Hamptons. They could pretty much pick up anything else they might need once they arrived. Since there was not a cloud in the sky and the temperature was reaching the mid eighties, Castle put the top down and handed the keys to Kate.

"No, you're driving today Castle. I'm on vacation remember?" She gave him a quick wink as she slid in the passenger seat.

Castle was glad Kate seemed eager to relax. She worked so hard and kept crazy hours. He just wanted her to have a restful week off. She could sleep in if she wanted to or just lounge around on the beach or in his library with a good book. No responsibilities or schedules. He took his place behind the wheel and reached into his pocket and handed her a hair scrunchie.

"Alexis always needs one of these when we take the Ferrari. Otherwise she spends the whole trip wiping her hair off her face."

Kate accepted the offering and thanked him for thinking of it when she hadn't. As he pulled into traffic she gathered her mahogany mane into an impromptu ponytail. She had taken a few minutes at his place to change from her work clothes into an orange sundress. It was tied in a bow behind her neck, so her shoulders and upper back were bare. He couldn't help but admire her long slender arms. The many hours she spent in sparring sessions had toned each muscle to perfection.

She was well aware of the long looks he was giving her so she took an extra few seconds fingering her hair than was actually needed. The warmth in his gaze brought more color to her exposed skin than the blazing sun overhead. She found herself wishing the car was an automatic so she could easily hold his hand without interruption. In Friday evening traffic, the trip would take over two hours if not closer to three, and since she was not driving she needed to keep her hands busy. She decided to rest her left hand on Castle's shoulder while he drove, then she mindlessly massaged the muscles in his neck before running her fingers through his now completely windblown hair.

After about forty-five minutes they were finally leaving the city behind and driving on the LIE was becoming less stop and go. As much as Castle had enjoyed the feeling of her hand as it slowly worked out all the kinks that had been in his neck, he was now so relaxed that he could easily see himself dozing off should he let her continue. He reached up with his free hand, not needing to shift gears for the moment.

"You really are a bad passenger aren't you?" He brought her hand around and planted a kiss in her palm. He could smell his own hair gel mixed with her intoxicating cherry scent. Then he wound his fingers in hers and tucked it to his chest. "If I let you keep that up, you will put me to sleep. Not a good thing while I'm behind the wheel."

Kate laughed, "Busted huh? I'm just so used to driving I'm not sure what to do with myself over here."

"How about we play a game? What about _Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon_?" Castle's exuberance gave him away quickly.

"No way, you would crush me. I think you have eidetic memory when it comes to movies. It wouldn't be fair."

Kate's competitive tone kind of sounded like a whine and Castle laughed as he lifted her hand to his lips again and peppered her knuckles with soft kisses. "True, I would wipe the floor with you. How about _Truth or Dare?" _He knew the answer to that one, but still waggled his eyebrows at her.

"Seriously Castle, there is not enough room in this car to accommodate the _Dares_ I have for you." She squeezed his hand a little harder than he expected and he yelped in pain.

"Okay, I get it, no more messing around. How about the _ABC game_? Alexis and I would play it when she was younger. Do you know how to play?"

Kate's mind traveled back in time to childhood road trips with her parents. "Yep, I think I can handle that one."

They spent the next hour or so calling out letters as they found them in alphabetical order on billboards, license plates and buildings. He called her a cheater every time she tried to use a letter in his license plate. He told her she had to actually see the letter, she couldn't just say it because she knew it was there. But the laugh she emitted every time she did it melted him into submission. He would give in to her on anything as long as she let him hear that infectious laugh.

Once they were within a few miles of his home she began to get quiet as she took in the sights. The many mansions and sprawling properties were more beautiful than she had imagined. Everything was so quiet. She saw a few people walking their dogs and driving golf carts. She couldn't help but notice that all of the cars probably cost more then her yearly salary. She wasn't so sure she could ever get used to this. Yes, she had grown up with a comfortable lifestyle, but this was far beyond her imagination. She found herself wondering what Castle's home could possibly look like.

As he slowed the car and pulled off the main road onto a long winding driveway, what she saw was much different than she expected. With his loft being so modern with sleek clean lines and many industrial type features, she had assumed this house would be similar. However, it was exactly the opposite. Despite its obvious enormity, it still held a cottage type feel. It was slate blue in color with large windows and doors trimmed in white. The landscaping was immaculate and reminded Kate of a botanical garden complete with stone walkways and at least three benches, that she could see. They were all in shaded areas that would allow for a cool place to sit and enjoy a good book. As they pulled up closer she could see straight through the house from the front window and out the back. The expanse of blue ocean beyond was breathtaking even in the dimming light of dusk.

Castle pulled into the three car garage. She was surprised to see a large black SUV, but guessed that it was more practical than driving the Ferrari around all the time. There were also four Sea-Doos and a couple of motorcycles in the third space.

Castle was obviously excited to show her around. He grabbed her hand and practically pulled her up the concrete steps of the garage and into the house. She was barely able to speak as he gave her the tour. After the mud/utility room that was adjacent to the garage, they entered a huge gourmet kitchen with marble countertops. She ran her hands along some of the dark natural veins of color that ran through the almost black surface. The island was huge and the cherry cabinets were a deep brown color that matched the warm tone of the hardwood floors throughout. Of course the appliances were top-of-the-line. He then took her through the cozy eat-in area complete with a window seat looking out over the ocean. She added that spot to her growing list of places to sit with a good book. The formal dining room was nice, but way too formal for her. He showed her a living room and a media room complete with a huge flat screen TV and theater style seating. After the two half baths, the last room he showed her on the main floor was his library.

"Wow, you saved the best for last." Kate marveled at the walls of books that surrounded the room. It was something you would expect to see in an old movie. Like the other rooms she had already seen, the paint color was warmer than anything in his Loft, but it included darker woods a massive leather couch and matching chairs. There was also an antique desk that she could only assume he used to write his novels on. He even had a rolling ladder to allow easy access to the highest shelves.

"I thought you'd like it." Castle had stood behind her and watched while she took it all in, but not being able to withstand touching her any longer, he wrapped his arms around her waist and she folded her arms across his on her abdomen.

"You have no idea. It's beautiful Rick" For some reason Kate couldn't imagine calling him Castle here.

At the sound of his given name crossing her lips, Castle turned her in his arms and pressed his lips to hers. He'd had many great moments in this house, but none compared to this moment with her. He wanted her to know that this was now her home as well. Everything he owned now also belonged to her.

Castle traced her jaw line with his lips and then whispered in her ear. "_All that I love loses half its pleasure if you are not there to share it._"

Kate's response came out on a heavy breath between heated kisses. "John Evelyn"

"Damn, how do you do that?" Castle scooped her up over his shoulder and ran toward the set of stairs that connected his library with the master bedroom.

Once upstairs she was as equally impressed with the top floor as she had been with the lower one. Of course, his bedroom, their bedroom, was the largest and contained a king sized four poster bed beautifully dressed with some of the most luxurious linens Kate had ever seen. The varying shades of creams and silvery blues gave it a unique French Country feel without being too busy. There was a sitting room and an adjacent bathroom that would put most spas in the city to shame. Kate imagined herself taking a nice hot bubble bath and couldn't help but give Castle a lusty leer as she imagined him bathing with her. He clearly got the message as his adam's apple bobbed in his neck.

Next he showed her Alexis's room, which still looked like the room of a child. "It's not what I expected. It's so different from her room in the city."

"Yeah, I've noticed as she 'grows out' of things, some of them make their way here instead of the trash or charity. I figured she must have a reason for hanging on to them." Castle made the quote sign with his fingers to emphasize the '_grows out'_ part.

Finally they peeked in at the last two bedrooms complete with adjoining bathrooms of their own.

"Hey, I need to go grocery shopping, there isn't anything here to eat. How about I show you the backyard on my way out?" Castle was already dragging her down a different set of stairs than the ones they had come up.

"Oh no, you are not leaving me here alone. I'm not used to this place yet and the size alone would freak me out. Plus, I need to pick up a few things while we are out."

After checking out the multi-level deck complete with an outdoor kitchen that made the one in her apartment seem like sterno and a drinking fountain, Castle led her out to the pool area. Again, the foliage surounding the the pool, cabanas and hot tub was exquisite. Then she couldn't help but drag him with her as she took the rustic steps down to the beach. They didn't walk as far as the water, it was getting a little dark for that, but she wanted to at least feel the sand between her toes. She kicked off her sandals and felt the warm powdery substance envelop her feet.

Castle watched her as she spun around and took it all in. He was never so happy to be a wealthy man. Not because of the status and prestige it offered, but because it allowed him to make her comfortable and carefree, even if for just a week.

She caught him staring at her with a goofy grin and stopped her spinning and wrapped her arms around his neck. She cocked her head to the side as he placed his hands on her hips and just continued to stare. "What?"

"Nothing, just enjoying the view." Castle winked at her.

Kate laughed as she grabbed her sandals from the sand. She hooked her arm into the crook of his. "Come on Ricky, lets go to dinner. I have a feeling you are going to need plenty of sustenance if you're to survive the night."

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**Review please?**


	13. Chapter 13

**So, I feel like I have done a bit of a "Bait and Switch" here. I mean, I intended this story to be T rated as I don't really like writing the more mature subject matter. However, the more I tried to think of ways to insinuate that they had finally done the deed, the more lame each idea sounded. So, I hope it is not too salacious or smutty. I don't like gratuitous sex just for sex sake. I hope I don't loose any readers with my rating upgrade, or downgrade depending on your viewpoint. **

**To Woadangel, I hope this is the payout you were looking for and to Dee Hensley, please go feed the dogs before you read this chapter. I wouldn't want them to starve. Finally to CaskettShipper, her is the other Adele song I promised...**

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Castle and Kate had a lovely dinner at a beach side cafe in East Hampton and then set out to get the groceries needed for the week. Kate had no idea what an arduous undertaking that was going to be. The house was completely void of any kind of food so they needed everything. Not to mention they were going to have guests and neither she nor Castle had any idea what their friends planned on preparing. Combine that with the fact that all of the grocers in The Hamptons were more like small specialty markets. Needless to say, three hours and about twenty stops later they finally pulled into the garage. On the drive home Castle had decided that if they needed anything else he was going to have it delivered. They talked as they carried the groceries into the house. Once everything was inside Castle suggested that Kate go relax while he loaded the fridge and cupboards. She was glad too oblige and headed upstairs to take a long bath. She thought about grabbing a book from the library, but decided against it for tonight.

While out on their shopping adventure Kate had shopped in a few places on her own. She couldn't resist many of the high end merchants that this area had to offer. She only bought a few things, but one in particular seemed appropriate. She took it into the bathroom with her. She filled the tub with warm water and bubbles and sank in for a nice relaxing soak. As she rested her head againt the slanted back of the giant tub she devised a plan. She knew tonight was the night she would finally commit to Castle completely. He already had her mind and soul, so it was only appropriate to give him her body as well. She couldn't help but smile at the thought and she knew it wasn't the hot bath water that was making her skin flushed.

Castle finished unloading the groceries. They had gotten so much stuff from so many stores that the task took him longer than he expected. After filling the fridge and pantry and even the deep freeze located in the garage, he then had to collect all the bags and put them away. Of course, it being The Hamptons, every bag was a small shopping bag with little handles. By the time he got to the last and what seemed like the hundredth one he was just frustrated. He knew he had better things to be doing at that moment. He thought of all the ways he wanted to touch Kate with his hands but instead he was still folding up grocery bags while she lay naked in a bathtub upstairs. Finally he finished the task, turned out the lights and made his way to their bedroom. When he entered he was surprised that she was still in the bathroom. He thought about going in and taking a dip with her but he wanted to be patient and let her take the lead. He changed into a pair of PJ pants and climbed into bed with his back against the leather padded headboard. He had grabbed a few books and placed them on the nightstand on her side of the bed earlier in the day. Books he was sure she had already read, but knew she would most likely enjoy reading them again. He picked one up but didn't have a chance to open it before the bathroom door swung open and Kate stood leaning against the frame. The stance reminded him of the way she stood with bolt cutters in hand outside of a storage unit not too long ago. He quickly shook the thought of that day out of his mind. His heart skipped a beat and his head began to swirl. The light from the bathroom silhouetted around her. He could see the outline of long slender legs as his eyes traveled from the floor up to take her all in. He could tell she was wearing a very short robe of some sort, but the color and texture were distorted by the bright light behind her. He was frozen in place on the bed as she began her accent towards him.

Kate had moments ago finished up her bath. She heard Castle enter the bedroom a few minutes prior. She towel dried her hair and picked up the silk robe she had bought earlier in the night. Somehow she had managed to find one in the exact color blue as the bed linens she had seen on the bed earlier. There was a matching negligee that she didn't bother to buy. Why complicate things? After putting on the robe she swung the door open and stood for a moment allowing him to take her in. Kate had no delusions about herself. She knew she was graced with good looks and right now she wanted nothing more than to give Castle a sneak peek at what she was offering him. As she stood in the doorway, she could tell by the squint in his eyes that the light behind her was helping to tease his senses. She reached to her right and switched off the light and began to enter the bedroom. Before making her was to the end of the bed she pressed a button on the iPod that she had docked on the speakers before her bath. She loved to watch him while he watched her dance. As the bluesy burlesque sounding music began to play, she climbed over the foot board and stood on the bed with her feet on either side of his. The look on his face was priceless. She could see love, of course, but he also grinned with a lusty yet childlike expression. She mirrored back at him with the same expression, but with a little less of the childlike exhuberence. What they were about to do was very adult. As the music played she began to swing her hips and slowly untied the robe to reveal the lack of clothing beneath. She didn't take it off, but let it hang open as she danced and sang to him.

_Found myself today singing out loud your name,_  
_you said I'm crazy,_  
_if I am I'm crazy for you._

_Sometimes sitting in the dark wishing you were here_  
_turns me crazy,_  
_but it's you who makes me lose my head._

_And every time I'm meant to be acting sensible_  
_you drift into my head_  
_and turn me into a crumbling fool._

Castle watched as she ran her fingers through her damp and tousled hair and then ran her hands down her body and teasingly spun the belt around her waist before untying it and opening the front of the robe. He had never seen anything so beautiful in his entire life. He had been with alot of women, but he was sure none of them could hold a candle to Kate. His whole body reacted to the sight of her nude form standing over him. he wanted to pull her down on top of him, but he also didn't want to cut the show she was putting on for him short.

_Tell me to run and I'll race,_  
_if you want me to stop I'll freeze,_  
_and if you want me gone I'll leave, just hold me closer baby,_  
_and make me crazy for you._  
_Crazy for you._

_Lately with this state I'm in I can't help myself but spin._  
_I wish you'd come over,_  
_send me spinning closer to you._

By this point she couldn't stand not touching him so she imitated the lyrics and walked up the matress and lowered herself into his lap. She straddled his hips but remained on her knees so as not to actually come in contact with his obvious arousal. She ran her hands over his bare chest and then placed his hands on her bare hips. She shivered at his touch. She wasn't so sure she would last the whole song like she intended. The need to be with him was almost primal, but she managed to maintain control. She continued to dance and whisper the words into his ear.

_I keep on trying, fighting these feelings away,_  
_but the more I do,_  
_the crazier I turn into._

_My oh my, how my blood boils, it's sweet taste for you,_  
_strips me down bare_  
_and gets me into my favorite mood._

She was driving _him_ crazy, he was doing his best not to rush things, but just watching her move above him and feeling her breath as she whispered is his ear was more tantalizing than he could have ever imagined. But, his desire to let her be in charge and to give her what she wanted kept him reeled in. After all, that had been the dynamic of their relationship all along. He was hers to do with as she pleased. He had no other purpose on this earth, but to be to be there for her and he was fine with that. He couldn't help but to close his eyes and hold his breath as she lowered herself over his lap and ground her center into him. Thank goodness it was brief or he would have been done right then and there.

_I keep on trying,_  
_fightin' these feelings away._  
_But the more I do_  
_the crazier I turn into._

_Pacing floors and opening doors,_  
_hoping you'll walk through_  
_and save me boy,_  
_because I'm too crazy for you._  
_Crazy for you_

Kate finished she song strong and as she accentuated the last lingering line she slid the robe off and threw it on the floor. Then she scooted back down the bed and began to pull at the legs of his PJ's. "You've seen mine, now show me yours Lover Boy." She sound of her voice was almost foreign in it's huskiness.

Castle quickly obliged and she couldn't help be smile as she gave him the same lingering look he had given her while she danced for him. Her need for him was becoming overwhelming. As she crawled back up the bed she could tell her legs were beginning to feel like jello. She saw him start to shift like he wanted her to lay on her back next to him, but she had other things in mind. She stopped him by clamping her knees on either side of his thighs. "Oh no Mr. Castle, I'm writing this scene. You just sit back and relax." She gave his shoulders a nudge as she tucked a pillow behind is hips and he shifted down the bed slightly. She wrapped her arms around his neck and began to kiss him slowly. His tongue softly tasted hers and the fire began to build more intensity in her body. Castle's hands made their way to her breasts and he was slowly kneading them in the same rhythm his mouth was moving against hers. She couldn't hold back any longer, the ache between her legs was pulsing and she knew he was waiting for her to make the move.

Castle spoke against her lips, "_Thou art to me a delicious torment_"

She laughed as she moved her mouth from his and raised an eyebrow at him. She loved this game as much as she did, but wasn't sure this moment was quite the right time. "Castle, leave the Buddha out of this."

She bit his lip as he smiled against her teeth. Their breathing became more labored as she raised up and let him explore her nipples with his very talented tongue. He decided to give her a little taste of her own medicine and bit down on her hardened nipple. Her head flew back and her nails dug into his shoulders. He moved his arms around her back and lowered them to her bottom. He could feel her legs shaking from the exercion she was putting out just straddling his wide hips and he wanted to be able to support her if needed. Finally she lowered herself down and took his tip into her throbbing center which at this point had pooled with anticipation. She slowly lowered herself to take even more of him in, but the position they were in was not going to allow her to envelop him completely she was going to shift positions and wrap her legs around him, but the current angle was allowing for such sweet pressure to the most sensitive area of her anatomy and she couldn't help but almost purr as she arched herself forward ground herself into him.

Somehow he must have read her mind and pulled his head up to get her attention. "Ladies first." He used he hands at her backside to help grind her into him again.

Kate was overwhelmed that he would put her needs before his. She had never been with any man that concerned himself with what she wanted and she wasn't sure she should take him up on his offer, but was unable protest at this point. She just wrapped her arms tighter around his neck and began to slowly ride him up and down. He was pretty much at her mercy at this point. She hadn't allowed him any leverage to move around beneath her, but he was putting his other assets to use. The feeling of his mouth on her breasts and neck was adding to the overall heightened sensations she was experiencing. The friction she created as she moved drove her closer and closer to the release she was seeking and she sunk her teeth into Castle's shoulder to keep herself from screaming as the build up came. Her whole body stiffened as the orgasm hit. Her walls quivered around his tip and she held her breath as the shocks ran the entire length of her body finally exiting out her curling toes. After what seemed like hours, but was actually only a few seconds, her muscles gave out. She was unable to stay on her knees. As she rested her head on his shoulder and tried desperately to catch her breath she felt Castle's hands behinds her knees. He helped her shift positions and she wrapped her legs around his body. He bent his legs indian style so she was sitting in his lap. She felt a little guilty that he was putting her comfort before his pleasure. Once she was able to speak, she took his face in her hands.

Castle was supporting her weight above him. He wanted to let her ride the wave down before moving on. Just the act of helping her wrap her legs around him was almost enough to finish him off, but he needed to feel himself completely surrounded by her. With they way she was seated over his lap, the new angle would allow him to bury himself in her once she was ready. When she finally lifted her head from his shoulder and took his face in her hands, he could see nothing but pure love in her eyes. Without speaking he knew she trusted him and was ready. He gave her a quick kiss as she lowered herself to engulf him completely into her body. Their faces were only inches apart and he watched a small smile form at the corners of her mouth and heard the whimper in her throat as he filled her. He knew he had never fit this perfectly before, not just physically, but mind and soul, as well. He gave her a few seconds to adjust and stretch into it before he beganto move his hips. They never broke eye contact as their bodies moved in perfect rhythm. He knew he was close, but wanted her to go with him. He wanted to give her time to catch up with him. She had come out of her haze and was now working his mouth with hers as her hips rotated with his. He couldn't tell if she was actually kissing him or trying to eat him alive, but either way it felt like heaven on earth. Each time she moaned against his tongue he hardened a little more inside her. He grabbed around her waist and slowly flipped them over so he could lay her beneath him. It was her turn to lean against the pillows and padded headboard. Castle used one hand to brace his weight and she other to pull her back to him so he could taste her mouth again. They heaved in attempts to catch their breath between each kiss. They never lost rhythm and she tightened the grip she had on him with her muscular legs. She hooked her ankles together and helped him as he drove into her. The movements were achingly slow and she needed to feel more of him. Castle watched as she took his hand from behind her head and sucked his thumb into her mouth. His breath hitched a bit as she lowered the moistened thumb and placed it between their bodies practically begging him to touch her. He found the swollen spot and grazed the pad of his thumb against it. She hitched her hips forward but gasped and grabbed his wrist.

She spoke in broken english in between breaths, "No... too... sensitive... harder... Rick"

He quickly realized that her skin was still too hypersensitive from her earlier climax. He placed his thumb against the nub again, but instead of grazing it, he pressed it into her and she again began to grind against him. He knew he was only a couple of thrusts away and by the way her body stiffened beneath him, she had caught up to him quickly. As he felt the first quiver of her walls around him he could no longer hold out. He released into her as his hips jerked of their own volition. He watched her as she watched him. She called out his name as she gripped the sheets at her sides and tears ran from her eyes. At that moment he knew had never seen a more beautiful sight in all his days. He couldn't help but follow her lead and he watched his own tears fall from his eyes and land on her chest. As his strength gave out, his lowered himself down and laid partially on top of her and partially beside her as they both struggled for breath. He nuzzled his face into her neck and she kissed his forehead. They were both soaked with sweat and the heat radiated from their bodies, but neither one was going to break contact.

Castle knew she was the best he ever had, but said the only words he could form at this time. "God I love you Kate." As he spoke he pulled her in closer, he couldn't get enough of her.

Kate was still reeling from what had to be the two best orgasms she had ever had. Her whole body was humming from the ecstacy she had just experienced. She chuckled as she realized the joke was on her. She had told Castle soon after they met that he had no idea how good they could be together, when infact it was her that, until tonight, had no idea. When she finally caught her breath enough to speak she was surprised at what popped into her head.

"_Lucky is the man who is the first love of a woman, but luckier is the woman who is the last love of a man._"

"Now you want to play, seriously?" Castle knew the quote well, but chose to recite the name of the book instead of the author. "_Hidden Power of the Heart"_

Kate raised up on her elbow to look at him. "What? Have I stumped the great Richard Castle?"

He reached up and grabbed her back down to him. He kissed her before whispering in her ear. "Oh no Detective, I know the author's name, but I fear it may not be in my best interest to say another woman's name while in bed with the woman of my dreams."

She giggled as he tickled her and they once again found each others lips. They both knew that sleep was the last thing they needed tonight. This night was about affirming that they belonged to each other and that no matter what the world threw at them, they had each other to lean on, each other to confide in, each other to honor and most importantly, each other to love.

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**I am so nervous to post this. Please be kind...**


	14. Chapter 14

**I have to say, the feedback on the last chapter was overwhelming. I am glad everyone seemed to like it. **

**This chapter is actually my favorite by far. It is kind of my tribute to an interview Mark Polish did about Stana Katic's upcoming movie _For Lovers Only. _He said the movie is about being in love not falling in love. That is how I feel about this story and most especially about this chapter. I also give a shout out to one of Nahtan Fillion's current projects just to even the score. I also mention a book I read and fell in love with when I was a teenager. If you haven't read it, I suggest you give it a try. **

**And finally, I hope everyone was sqeeling with glee at last night's episode as much as I was!**

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A loud clap of thunder shook Castle from his slumber. He was surprised that Kate didn't even stir. The room was dark, not middle of the night dark, but dark nonetheless. He lifted his head to read the clock on his nightstand, which, based on their positions, was now Kate's nightstand. He was surprised to see that it was eight-thirty. He could hear the thunder as it continued to roll and every few minutes the periodic lightning lit the room like the Fourth of July.

He lay there reveling in the _'morning after'_ euphoria and listened to her breath. It wasn't the typical romance novel scene. They weren't wrapped around each other having slept the night cuddling into each other's embrace. In fact it was just the opposite. Castle found himself relegated to the edge of the bed. He was on his back and had one leg hanging off the side, his big toe just skimming the floor. What little cover he had came in the form of a pillow across his mid-section. Kate was sprawled out on her stomach, taking up much more of the king sized bed than one would think possible considering her small frame. She seemed to have taken complete possession of the sheets, but still the only part of her that was covered was her adorable rear-end and the top of one thigh. Her hair was fanned out in messy tendrils across her pillow even though her face was actually resting directly on the mattress. She was facing away from him, but he could tell by the steadiness of her breathing that she was out cold. The only physical connection between the two was her hand in his as he held it tight to his chest.

He lay there for about ten minutes assuming he would be able to drift back to sleep, but the Sandman was not cooperating with him. He carefully got up, so as not to wake Kate and went to use the bathroom. Once finished he decided to go down to the kitchen and get some provisions. He was famished and he knew she would be as well, once she was awake. He looked around for his PJ's and then quickly remembered the previous evening and morning escapades. After a few hours of activity in bed he and Kate had worked up an appetite and traveled to the kitchen to snack on some fruit, which quickly went from feeding each other to eating off of each other to making love to each other. As he smiled at the memory he made a mental note to scrub every surface of the large island before preparing breakfast. He wasn't sure, but he had to assume that his pants were now in a puddle on the kitchen floor along with her robe. That wouldn't have been the only puddle they made overnight. After getting very sticky in the kitchen it only seemed appropriate that they move things to the large shower in the master bathroom. He laughed as he remembered Kate's awful joke about getting clean while getting very dirty. Eventually, while still soaking wet, they made their way back to the bed and managed to get some shut-eye.

After slipping on a clean pair of Green Lantern boxers, his new favorite, he made his way to the kitchen. He spent some time cleaning up the mess they had left in their haste and threw the dirty clothes in the laundry room. He knew she would probably be asleep awhile longer, so he just grabbed an assortment of muffins and pastries along with a carafe of coffee that was designed to keep it hot for an extended length of time. Before heading back up, he grabbed his laptop from the library. He knew he was too wired to sleep so he figured he could get some writing done while she slept, that way he could give her his undivided attention later. After all, she was on vacation but he still had a deadline pending. Actually the third installment of Nikki Heat, _Heat Rises_, was complete, he just needed to finish the epilogue and the dedication.

Once upstairs he settled back into bed. He knew he needed to work but he often found himself distracted by the sight of Kate's perfect porcelain skin and the cute little sleep sounds she made every once in a while. He decided that typing one handed wasn't so difficult as he used his left hand to caress her bare back. He just needed to be connected to her even if she was unaware of his affection at the moment. There was something so perfect about the moment. He choked up as he tried to remember if he had ever been so content in any single moment as he was in this one. The only thing that came to mind was the first time he looked into Alexis's clear blue eyes. She was only minutes old and had already captured his heart. But even in that moment there was fear and anxiety. Fear of failing as a father and the anxiety of knowing that single fatherhood lie ahead for him. Even then he knew Meredith would put her own needs and desires in front of their child's. But here in this moment as Kate stirred next to him, Castle felt pure contentment. He continued to rub circles on her back as she settled back into a quiet slumber.

The next few hours continued in the same manner. He had managed to finish his epilogue and caught up on some business emails as well as connect with Esposito and Ryan about some more plans for the week. He sat his laptop on the floor next to the bed as Kate spoke to him. Her face was still half buried in the bed, but he could hear the implied sarcasm loud and clear.

"Are you trying to rub me raw back there or what? Don't you think you inflicted enough damage on me last night? I'm not sure I am going to be able to walk today." Here voice was groggy as she turned her head towards him.

"That's ok, with the storm going on out there I don't think we'll be going anywhere today anyway." He ceased rubbing her back but used the same hand to wipe her crazy bead hair out of her eyes.

She never looked up but asked, "What time is it?"

"About eleven."

"Eleven, how long have you been up? We didn't even get to sleep until after seven." Her voice held no inflection; that part of her brain was still snoozing.

Castle didn't even know what time they had finally drifted off and was surprised he wasn't more exhausted considering he must have only slept an hour. "Awhile, I wanted to get some work done while you rested. I figure with the weather and this being our only day alone, we could just be lazy much of the day anyway"

He watched as Kate slid slowly off the bed and stumbled a bit before she got her bearings. He had never figured her for a morning person, so he just let her go as she shuffled into the bathroom. A few minutes later she came out wearing one of his dress shirts having raided the closet off of the bathroom. Much like the robe from last night she didn't bother to close the front, so he wasn't sure why she even bothered putting it on. She must have read his mind because she just said, "I like the way it smells" as she sniffed the collar and made her way to his side of the bed.

Having noticed the stack of books on the nightstand she read the titles on each. There was one of his, _A Rose For Ever After, _a couple classics including _Emma_ and _Wuthering_ _Heights_ and a book she remembered reading when she was in high school. It was an odd choice. She hadn't realized he was a fan of Dean Koontz and didn't think they'd ever discussed any of his books before. In fact Koontz's genre was borderline horror, but this one Kate remembered well. She picked it up and handed it to Castle as she climbed back into the bed. She unfolded his arms and sat facing him in his lap. She wrapped her legs around his body and laid her right cheek on his left shoulder. She loved how large and solid his body felt as she held him tight. She had never felt the need to cling to anyone like she did him. She wasn't ashamed to need him and she wanted him to feel that.

After they both settled into a comfortable position he slid his free hand under the dress shirt she wore and rested it on her backside. He placed a kiss on her forehead as he gave her a light squeeze. He relished the new touchy feely side of Kate and was not going to question it. He knew instinctively what she wanted from him but he wanted something else first, so he just waited.

After a few seconds of silence she again read his mind. She raised her head from his shoulder and cupped his face in her hands. She looked intently into his eyes as she took possession of his mouth with hers. She slowly worked his tongue with hers. The scent and taste of her were intoxicating to all his senses.

"Good morning Hal Jordan," was all she said as she laid her head back on his shoulder. Obviously she had gotten a good look at his boxers before climbing back into bed.

Castle tickled her ribs as he opened the book she had handed him earlier. "_Lightning_, huh?"

"Yeah, I thought it appropriate and I don't mean because of the weather."

"Oh, you mean because it's about a dark haired beauty that can't help but fall madly in love with the slightly older ruggedly handsome hero?" He smiled into her hair expecting a sarcastic objection but instead she was sincere as she summarized the plot of the book in a way that paralleled their story.

"Because it's about a motherless girl that endures tragedies with the help of a soul mate that saves her life in various ways even before she officially meets him for the first time."

"Sounds familiar, but you forgot to mention the ruggedly handsome part." Castle whined.

Kate jabbed him in the ribs with the hand she had wrapped behind his back. "I also failed mention the hero in the book uses Time Travel to find his way to her. That's a little cooler than just writing some novels don't you think? Now shut up and read to me."

"Uh Kate, which one is it? Shut up or apples apples apples!"

Castle rubbed his ear as he began to read. Kate loved the sound of his voice and the way it hummed against her ear as she rested against his chest. He gave each character his or her own unique voice and was able to create the intensity of each scene with his creative and imaginative reading style. She couldn't help but wonder why he didn't provide the voice for the audio versions of his own novels. She had picked one up last summer to listen to while she worked her Mother's case. She thought it would be soothing to her but to hear his words spoken in a foreign voice only intensified the ache she felt at his absence. She had always loved to read, but she was beginning to like being read to just as much.

As Castle read, Kate snacked on the muffins and pastries he had brought up earlier. She also finished off his cup of coffee as well as the whole carafe. A few hours in Kate turned to sit between his legs and leaned back into his chest. She offered to help hold the book to free up one of hands so he could eat as well. She should have known he would find other better things to do with that hand. He alternated between running his fingers through her hair, he loved the way it tickled across his chest and stomach has he did, to just holding her tight against him, to occasionally fondling a few areas on her body that earned him a quick smack to the hand and an elbow jab to the gut. Though, he couldn't help but think the pain was well worth the satisfaction he got from feeling the involuntary response her body elicited each time he caressed her.

By three o'clock in the afternoon and about two hundred pages in, Kate could tell the lack of sleep was beginning to affect Castle. She gently took the book from him and closed it, making sure to note the page number before tossing to the floor. She scooted out of his lap and gestured for him to lie down next to her. He silently obeyed and she pulled the covers up over them both. She pulled his head close to her chest and played with his hair. She watched as his eyes became heavy and sleep began to take him. Before he was totally out she whispered in his ear.

"_A man reserves his true and deepest love not for the species of woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and enkindled, but for that one in whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy."_

Castle's lips curled slightly. She knew he had the answer even in his groggy state, "George Jean Nathan."

Kate snuggled closer into his body and tangled her legs in his. "Man you're good."

The last words she heard before she followed him into dreamland were, "Don't forget ruggedly handsome."

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**What'd ya think?**


	15. Chapter 15

**I have to apologize for all the new chapter updates. I was trying to edit out some errors in previous chapters and royally screwed the pooch. I think all is back to normal now. **

**I just read the interview with Andrew Marlowe about the season finale. Have to admit that I am a little bummed that he thinks were are not ready to see Beckett and Castle in a romantic relationship yet. I am glad he is going to move them to the next level, but for the life of me I'm not sure what that really means. Oh well, I will continue to trust him, I have no other choice since he owns them and I don't.**

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"Yeah, he's outside preparing the grill. The guys will be here in a bit so we're getting ready to fix brunch." Castle listened as Kate came to stand beside him on the deck. She was talking to Alexis on her cell as she approached and placed her hand on his back. "Here he is, I'll talk to you tomorrow sweetie. I love you too." She handed the phone over to him.

As Castle talked to his daughter, Kate worked on setting the table. She let her mind drift to the memories of the last few days. After spending all of Saturday in bed they were up before the sun this morning wanting to cherish every minute they could before Lanie, Esposito, Ryan and Jenny arrived. She was excited to spend time with their friends outside of work, but was a little sad that she and Castle wouldn't have more time to themselves. They had spent the morning together on the large balcony off the master bedroom watching the sunrise. It wasn't the first sunrise they had ever shared, but it was the first without a dead body present. After that they walked hand in hand along the beach. The storm clouds of the previous day were nowhere to be seen, but had ushered in the summer temperatures. Finally they showered and made plans for the day ahead. Since it was looking to be a beautiful hot day with little humidity, they decided to fix brunch in the outdoor kitchen and eat on the deck. Lost in thought, Kate hadn't heard him say his goodbyes to Alexis and was startled when he came up behind her.

He tickled her bare sides as he teased her. She was wearing a red bikini and covering her bottom half, a pair of gauzy white linen pants that rested extremely low on her hips. It was a far cry from her normal Detective wardrobe. "_We're _getting ready to fix brunch?" He asked jokingly because they both knew he would be doing most of the cooking.

Kate feigned ignorance, "Hey, I'm helping!" She turned, and after getting a good look at him, rolled her eyes and started laughing hysterically.

"What?"

"Are you serious with that?" Kate pointed to the apron Castle was wearing. It had cover art for what, at first, looked like any one of his novels but upon closer inspection the title of the "book" read _Cooking up a Storm_. She put her hand to his chest as she doubled over in laughter.

"It was a Father's Day gift from Alexis."

She tried to compose herself. She appreciated the unique relationship between Father and Daughter, but it was just so ridiculous. She watched as he walked over to the grill area and returned with a similar item in his hand. He held it out to her and pouted as he spoke. "I got you one like it, but you don't have to wear it if you don't want to." He seemed heartbroken at the prospect of her turning down his gift.

"Oh no seriously?" Kate cocked her head and cringed as he unfolded the apron. It was in the same vain as the one he was wearing. It had the same cover art unique to his novels but unlike his, it read _I cook with Heat. _Her heart melted. Somehow what seemed so corny just a minute prior now seemed so sweet? If felt so good to be in on the joke _with_ him. She took the apron and put it on. Then she kissed him on the cheek. "I love it!"

As she pulled away he tightened his grip on her. He held her to his chest but didn't speak. It was his turn to cling to her and the least she could do was let him. She ran her hands down his chest and gripped his apron in her fists. She laid her cheek against him and waited. She knew instinctively that something was bothering him.

Finally she asked, "What is it, Rick?"

He loved the way she said his first name. He loved the way she said his last name too, but when she used his surname it usually meant he was in trouble or was annoying her in some way, so it had an edge to it. The opposite was true whenever she used his given name. The softness in her voice denoted the profound affection she held for him. He realized that duality was actually what was bothering him. His statement came out accompanied by a long sigh.

"I'm going to miss you."

Kate had no idea what he was talking about. The statement was cryptic and she felt the tables turn. She was usually the one making flat statements expecting him to read her mind. It was a defense mechanism she used to avoid putting herself out there, to avoid being hurt or misunderstood. Castle usually needed no such mechanisms. He said anything and everything without filter. If he was now playing her part then she was going to have to play his.

"I didn't realize I was going anywhere?" She shifted her head to rest her chin on his collarbone and looked up to his face. She wished she were wearing a pair of power heels instead of the flip-flops that were currently donning her feet. She wanted to see his eyes. It was still awhile before he spoke and during the silence she wondered if he always felt this helpless with her when she was in a mood. She made a mental note to try to do better by him next time.

"Technically you aren't, but when _they_ get here my Kate will be gone and Detective Beckett will be here. Don't get me wrong; I love Detective Beckett deeply but I am so madly in love with my Kate that I don't want to go a week without her."

She wanted to be angry with him and her face reddened. Not that what he said was wrong, but that he was calling her out on it. She'd come along way since they'd gotten together, but on this one thing she hadn't budged. She prided herself in her professionalism. Her career had been the one constant she could rely on and she was not willing to compromise. She had set ground rules early on in the personal relationship with Castle concerning what he could and couldn't do in front of her team, and to his credit he had respected her wishes. But she understood that they were entering unknown territory here and it came as no shock to her that Castle had seen in coming a mile away. He was right, once her team showed up; she would switch into Beckett mode quickly and Castle being Castle, would let her. This was his way of giving her permission. Sure, her team knew they were together; they had even been there the night the flame between she and Castle ignited into a full-fledged fire. But since then they had all settled into a new normal. Suddenly she hated that part of herself, the part that compartmentalized everything. Yes, in her occupation it was an asset, but personally it just hurt everyone she loved.

Castle finally looked down at her and felt terrible at the hurt he'd just caused her. He rubbed his nose next to hers and softly caressed her back. He was surprised at the words she finally spoke.

"I'm sorry, Rick."

"There's nothing to be sorry about, Kate. It's who you are. I'd never ask you to be anything else." His words were sincere.

"No, it's who I was. You would never ask me to change but I can ask it of myself."

He thought about her words, but shook his head. "You never have to change for me."

"Why, you changed for me, for us?" She raised her eyebrows as she spoke.

"When?"

Kate held his gaze needing him to understand. "The day you met me. You saw something in me that I didn't see in myself. You saw the woman in me that needed the you that you were meant to be and then you became that man." She laughed at herself. "God, that didn't come out as eloquent as it sounded in my head."

She could see by the look on his face that he had deciphered her meaning, but before addressing it he instead played the little game they both loved so much. "_At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet_."The game that told her they were on the same page. Then he became somber again. "So what are you telling me? Might I see my Kate sooner than expected?"

Kate stood on her tiptoes and kissed his lips ever so lightly. "Well I don't know that you have much choice considering I didn't pack any clothes appropriate for Detective Beckett to wear." She felt him smile against her mouth as she continued. "I can't promise a complete turn around, but I will try my hardest to remember that they are my friends as well as members of my team, and if I trust them with my life, they need to see what it is I'm trusting them with."

An understanding clearly agreed upon, he took her firmly into his embrace and hungrily kissed her until the sound of her cell chiming in his apron pocket interrupted them. She spoke in between breaths while he grazed her puffy lips with his thumb. "That'll be Lanie, she said she would text when they were a few minutes away." She reached into his pocket to retrieve the offending device. "Oh, by the way, Plato wouldn't be caught dead in that apron." Castle caught her eye as he turned back to the grill and cracked a huge smile remembering that she hadn't yet responded to his earlier quotation.

Seconds later Kate yelped in Lanie's ear when Castle used the dishtowel that had been tucked in his apron to snap against her rear-end. From the other end of the line Kate heard

"Girl, you had better not be doing what I hope you're doing!"

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Castle and Kate greeted their friends in the driveway. The guys unloaded the luggage and carried it toward the house leaving the three women to gossip.

"Oh may God Kate, this place is beautiful." Jenny's mouth gapped open as Kate took her and Lanie on the same tour Castle had given her a few days earlier.

After checking out the front garden area she led them to the house. Once in the kitchen the guys quickly passed by on their way to the back deck. Castle spouted something about the food being ready in ten minutes and that he expected them to be in their seats when he served it. Taking the hint Kate sped things up. Once upstairs Jenny found her luggage in the room she and Ryan were staying in for the week and decided to follow Kate's lead and change into a swimsuit and cover up. The other two women moved onto the next bedroom so Lanie could do the same.

As soon as they were alone Lanie started, "Details girl!"

Kate gave the usual protest. "A lady never kisses and tells."

"Girl, I'm gonna smack you, now give it up. Is he as good as he thinks he is?"

Kate blushed and plopped herself down on the bed as she confessed. "Oh my God Lanie, you have no idea. He is so amazing and I don't mean the sex, well I don't just mean the sex. I can't even explain it." Kate was smiling but was suddenly choked up at the thought of Castle and the feelings he stirred in her soul.

Lanie sat next to her friend and wrapped an arm around her. "I am so happy for you Kate. No one deserves to be happy more than you."

Kate collected herself and turned the tables on the ME. "So, what about you and Esposito?"

"Oh girl, you know I'm no lady."

The two women continued to talk and laugh losing track of time. Finally their chatter was interrupted when Castle peeked in the door clearing his throat for effect. "I have to admit I can't imagine anything better than seeing two beautiful women together on a bed, but we are starving down here. Would you mind gracing us with your presence? Unless, that is, you want me to join you."

Kate rolled her eyes as she they walked towards him. Lanie gave him a sarcastic slap on the arm and said, "In your dreams Writer Boy."

As the three of them headed towards the stairs Castle grabbed Kate's hand and pulled her into him. Once he knew Lanie was out of earshot, he grabbed Kate's hips and held their bodies together. Before he could say it, she beat him to the punchline. "Oh yeah, I told her it was Writer Man, definitely Writer Man." She pressed herself into his embrace and kissed him. "Come on, I'm so famished I could eat a house."

"How about a Castle?"


	16. Chapter 16

**I have to admit, this is just pure sap. I hope you enjoy**

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For the first time in almost a week Castle woke up alone. Without even glancing at the clock, he could tell it was well after midnight. He thought maybe Kate was in the bathroom but there was no light streaming in from under the door. He could only guess that she had been unable to sleep and didn't want to wake him. He thought about trying to fall back to sleep but her absence made it impossible. After throwing on a pair of pajamas, Castle descended the staircase connecting the master bedroom to the library. As he walked silently in the darkness he thought about how wonderful the last few days had been.

After brunch on Sunday they had all stayed close to the house. They swam in the pool and lazed in the cabanas before going into town for dinner. Monday was spent on the beach. The guys swam in the surf and played volleyball while the three women sunbathed. Later that evening they had a bonfire and roasted hot dogs and marshmallows. Tuesday the ladies went into town and had a spa day; it was a gift the guys had surprised them with the night before, while the guys themselves spent the day playing a round of golf followed by a few rowdy games of Halo in the theater room back at Castle's house. Wednesday was spent on the water. They took Castle's ski boat out and took turns either riding Sea Do's and tubing.

As Castle's foot hit the bottom step and he entered the library, concern hit him instantly. Kate was sitting in the dimly lit room holding a heating pad to her neck and shoulder. His mind quickly replayed the afternoon's events. During one of her turns at tubing, Kate took an extra hard tumble as the wake from an oncoming boat sent her tube flying. She said she was fine, but looking back over the evening she had been a little more quiet than normal and had wanted to turn in earlier than most evenings. Castle thought nothing of it at the time, considering it had been a tiring couple of days. Now he felt terrible that he hadn't noticed the pain she must have been in.

As he approached the overstuffed leather couch, Castle removed the heating pad and Kate instinctively moved forward to allow him to sit behind her. Without speaking he began to massage her neck and shoulders. At first he felt her tense up and her muscles twitched as he found the offending sore spots. After a few minutes the knots began to ease, and he continued to knead. As he worked he thought about how he had always been a talker. Words were the first things he relied on when expressing his feelings. He made his living stringing them together until a best-seller emerged. He had never felt comfortable with silence. But now with Kate, words had become obsolete. He nudged her shoulder to encourage her to lean forward and she understood without hesitation. Castle placed his thumbs low on her back and began to massage his way up her spine.

To Kate, the pressure was almost too much at first, but the agony gave way to a melting heat that turned her stiff muscles to mush. His hands moved at such a slow pace and he took care to address every inch of her back. As he worked in silence she marveled at how much the connection between them had grown. One minute they could be having a deep and meaningful heart-to-heart, and then in an instant it would change to teasing and joking. At work they finished each other's sentences and could hold whole conversations with just their eyes. Even their love making required no words yet spoke volumes. Never had she felt so comfortable and safe with another human being. Never had she felt so connected to anyone, not even to her parents. She chuckled slightly as she remembered her "one and done" comment. She always used it in such a non-chalant manner, but she'd had no idea what it actually meant until she had found it.

Once he was certain he had worked out all the kinks, Castle pulled her to him by her shoulders. As she settled into his bare chest, he reached over to the sofa table and pulled the chain on the lamp that was providing the only light to the room. Once darkness took over, he wrapped his arms around her chest and placed a kiss on her temple. They both drifted off to sleep in comfortable silence.

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As the morning sun began to fill the room with a warm orange glow, Kate stirred in Castle's arms. They had both slept soundly since falling asleep on the couch in his library just a few hours earlier. Kate stretched and twisted around to place a kiss on Castle's lips.

He placed his hands on her shoulders. "How do you feel this morning?"

Her voice was still groggy as she answered, "Great, thank you for the massage."

"Don't mention it. I'm sorry I hadn't noticed earlier that you were hurting." She could hear the concern in his voice.

"It just sort of got worse as the night went on and I didn't want to wake you with my tossing and turning." Kate wound her fingers in his and brushed his knuckles across her lips.

Castle returned the affection with light kisses across the back of her neck. "I love you." He said it so matter of factly that it made Kate chuckle. "Why is that funny?" He sounded a little whiny.

She turned her head and spoke against his cheek, "It's not funny at all. I love hearing it almost as much as I love saying it, I love you too."

They snuggled together for a few more minutes before getting up to start the day. Lanie and Esposito were in charge of breakfast today and they could already smell the coffee brewing. As Kate stood she took time to stretch and make sure the aches and pains of the previous night had not returned. Thanks to Castle's magic hands, they hadn't. Castle happily took in the view her maneuvers provided. She was wearing a baby blue tank top and a pair of chocolate brown boy shorts.

He stood behind her and ran his hands along her sides coming to rest on her hips. "Do you know how beautiful you are?"

Kate turned in his embrace and after a slow burning kiss simply stated, _"__Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired."_ With that, the game was again on for the day. She laughed and ran out of the room. She took the stairs to the master bedroom two at a time. She could hear him catching up behind her.

He caught up with her as she crossed the threshold of the bedroom. He tackled her to the bed, _"I am lost without my Boswell!" _

He tickled her mercilessly and as she giggled, she twisted underneath him until she was looking up to his face. Suddenly his hands began to caress instead of tickle. She wrapped her legs around his body drawing him down closer. Before getting lost in the pleasure she knew his mouth was about to supply she placed the palm of her hand on his face, temporarily stopping his descent.

"Hey Sherlock, you can't answer mine with one of your own!"

Castle gently nibbled the palm of her hand before she slid it down his bare chest. "Who says? Technically I answered it correctly." He leaned his head down and sucked on her neck. He felt her legs tighten around his midsection as her hands made their way to the waist of his pajamas. His hands slid under the hem of her tank top, and he only paused a moment as he whispered against her cheek. "And while we are on the subject, technically Sherlock Holmes said it, but Sir Arthur Conan Doyle actually wrote it."

Kate ran her nails up his back and he practically purred into her neck. "Rick, do you really want to argue about technicalities right now?"

Before he could respond Kate's cell phone chimed from the night stand. They both froze knowing instinctively who was texting her. Considering there were only five people in the world that texted Kate Beckett and four of them were currently in the same house as her, it had to be Alexis. Castle reached to the nearest nightstand and handed the cell to Kate with concern written all over his face. After reading the text she flipped the phone around so he could read it for himself.

A: I miss u :(

Castle stretched across the bed and in the process, across Kate's body to the opposite nightstand. He frowned when he saw there were no new messages on his cell. While still lying on top of her he began to dial his daughter's number.

Kate reached up and grabbed the device from his hand. "Richard Castle! Don't you dare!"

"Something has to be wrong, I need to make sure she is OK." His expression was pained.

Kate dropped his cell on the bed by her hip and then placed her free hand on his cheek. "First of all we know nothing of the sort. But if something is wrong and she realizes I brought you into it before even talking to her, she will never trust me again. Is that what you want?"

"But she's my d..." He didn't finish his sentence. As much as he hated to admit it, Kate was right.

"Do you trust me?" Kate's eyes searched his and could see the internal struggle. This was his little girl and she was choosing her over him. "I promise, I will tell you if it's something serious, OK? Go take a shower and I will get to the bottom of this."

Castle placed his forehead against hers for a minute before nodding and scooping his arms underneath her. He sat her up as he scooted off the bed to stand between her knees that now hung over the edge. His voice cracked as he placed his faith in the woman he loved "With my life" was all he said in answer to her as yet unanswered question. He kissed the corner of her mouth before heading to the bathroom for a shower.

After watching Castle leave the room, Kate pulled her tank top down and scooted herself up the bed to lean against the headboard. She knew this was a defining moment. Not only in her relationship with Alexis, but with Castle as well. Never had he trusted his baby in another's hands. She felt honored at the faith he had shown her, but was nervous. She knew there was a fine line between keeping Alexis's confidence and making sure Castle didn't feel pushed aside. She took a deep breath before responding to the teenager's message. She wanted to sound light hearted and decided that the subject of the time difference would allow for some levity.

K: up early this am?

A: trouble sleeping

K: whats on ur mind

Kate waited a few minutes but when Alexis didn't respond she soon decided that some prodding was needed.

K: am alone ur dad is n shower

A: y doesnt she luv me

Kate's heart sunk, she had to assume Meredith had done something. She quickly called Alexis's number knowing this situation required more than texting would allow. She was glad to hear the youngster sounded chipper enough. Kate wanted to reassure her with a remark about all mothers loving their daughters, but knew it would just sound patronizing. "Hey sweetie, what did your mom do?"

"Nothing really. Just the same old thing, you know."

Kate really didn't so she asked for clarification. "Actually, I don't know. What have you guys done so far?"

Alexis sighed. "Well, we have gone shopping everyday, then out with her actor friends everynight. All she seems to want to do is show me off like I'm some kind of dress up doll."

Kate was still confused. "Well, if that is what she always does, why do you all of the sudden doubt her feelings for you?"

Alexis sounded like she was holding back tears. "She doesn't care about anything I'm interested in. She never asks me about school. She doesn't even know that I play the violin or what kind of music I like for that matter." She spit the words out in one continuous breath and was now struggling to maintain composure as she sucked in some much needed oxygen. Kate waited for her to continue. "Kate, you know all those things about me."

Suddenly things became clear for Kate. Meredith hadn't done anything afterall, but it didn't do anything to subside the anger Kate was feeling toward her at this moment. "Yes sweetie, I do, but just because I know more about you than she does, it doesn't mean your mother loves you any less." Kate was struggling to say the right thing. "Have you ever doubted your mother's love for you before?"

"No"

"Well do you think that maybe it's you that has changed, not her?" Kate was just hoping she was saying the right thing.

"That's exactly what I think Kate. I finally know what it's like to have someone love me like a mother would. Now that I know what I've been missing I am having trouble reconciling that with my feelings for her."

Kate didn't know what to feel. She loved Alexis as if she was her own daughter and it would have been easy to just bad mouth Meredith, but easy didn't mean it was right. "You know I've learned that with some people you have to make a choice to accept them for who they are and by accepting them you can't ask them to be more."

Alexis didn't really address what Kate said. She just asked, "Why was it so easy for you to love me, but hard for her?"

"I can only answer the half of that question that pertains to me." Kate took a deep breath needing a moment to organize her thoughts. "At first, I guess I loved you as an extension of your Dad. I fell in love with everything about him and you are _the_ best part of him. But beyond that, once I got to know you, there was no way I couldn't love you. You are intelligent, articulate, compassionate and beautiful both inside and out." She paused to let her words sink in. "But, I can't replace your mother, Alexis, I don't have that right. I will however promise to be here for you whenever she or your Dad can't be. For whatever reason you might need me, I'm here."

Alexis blew her nose. "Thanks Kate."

"I'm not sure I helped?"

"You did, more than you know." Alexis sniffled a few more times before yawning.

"Lex, do you need us to come get you?" Kate didn't care if it hurt Meredith's feelings or not. She and Castle needed to do what was best for Alexis.

"No, I'll be OK."

Realizing that it was still before 7:00 am in California Kate said, "Alexis, do you think you can get some sleep now?"

Alexis yawned again, "Yeah I think so. Good bye, Kate, I love you"

Instead of a simple goodbye, Kate sought to convey her feelings in a way only a member of the Castle family would understand. "_In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit_. You are one of those people Alexis, I love you too." Kate hung up the phone but held it close to her heart as a tear ran down her cheek. Never had she imagined she could feel this deeply for Alexis. She composed herself quickly she didn't want Castle so see her crying, it would only worry him more. But just has she was about to turn and make her way to the bathroom he sat down on the bed next to her. She hadn't even noticed that he had entered the room.

"God Rick, that was so hard, and I'm not even her Mother. My heart is broken for her. I'm not sure how I will survive it with kids of my own." She slid into his lap and he wrapped his arms around her as she spoke.

He placed his lips against her temple as he spoke. "That is percisely why I know you will be the most extraordinary Mother. I can't wait to see it."

Their lips met tenderly as he laid her down on the bed. Again, their bodies spoke the words that their mouths didn't need to. Before they knew it, they had missed breakfast and were working their way toward missing lunch.


	17. Chapter 17

**Ok, so here is another chapter. I hope you all enjoy. The positive reviews keep rolling in, so thank you. This one is a little angsty but not too bad...**

**I am getting a little nervous after reading all the spoilers for the next three episodes, I can't wait. Can you?**

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Kate sat at her desk in the 12th precinct. She had her elbows on the desk and her head was resting in her hands. She was exhausted, which was ironic considering it was only her first day back to work after the week's vacation to the Hamptons. She glanced around the bullpen and found the guys were in pretty much the same condition. She could only assume Captain Montgomery was feeling it too, but the blinds to his office were currently closed, so she was unable to see for herself.

Their boss had arrived at the Hamptons early Friday and the seven of them boarded Castle's yacht for two days of deep-sea fishing. Well actually, only the men fished and the women just drank like fish. Everyone had a great time even though the close quarters made for a few grumpy moments. All in all the ship was large enough; with four staterooms, a living room, a dining room and a large kitchen that Castle called a galley kitchen but was in no way a galley. After docking early Sunday morning they had one last feast on the deck of Castle's house before they all packed up and headed back to the city. Kate had been a little sad to see the week come to an end, but was also eager to return to real life. Everything about the trip had seemed like a fairy tale, but at the same time she missed the everyday normalcy of work.

After challenging Jenny to a drinking contest and losing to the petite Irish woman, Castle was in no shape to drive. Kate had managed to get them back to the city in record time. She instinctively drove to her apartment and Castle walked her up in silence. The pending separation hung heavy over them, but neither of them spoke about it. Granted they would see each other at work in less than twelve hours, but it just seemed like too much time. She had thought about driving straight to his loft early on in the trip, but realized she had no work clothes for the next day and she needed to gather up her mail and water the few plants she had. They said their goodbyes and he sulked out of her apartment.

Given her state of fatigue, Kate figured sleep would come easily, but it avoided her like the plague. After tossing and turning until after 3:00 am she finally gave in. She got up, threw on a pair of sweat pants and packed some work clothes and essentials in a couple of bags. She was in the car and halfway to Castle's loft as she reached for her phone. Before she could hit the speed dial it rang. She recognized the number and groaned. Her vacation had officially ended. After getting all the details from dispatch, she called Castle. She wasn't surprised to hear that he sounded as wide-awake as she did. She entered his loft and went directly to his room. He was just finishing up lacing his shoes. He didn't say a word, just smiled wildly as she placed her bags on his bed. Then they were off to the crime scene, where they spent most of the morning going over the evidence and taking witness statements. It was a pretty cut and dry case. A woman in her late thirties had been stabbed multiple times and left to bleed out on her kitchen floor. According to witnesses her estranged husband had been seen fleeing the building around midnight, which was the estimated time of death given by Lanie at the scene. Now they were back at the precinct doing the grunt work, trying to follow any leads that may help them track down the killer.

Kate jumped as Castle placed a cup of coffee on the desk in front of her. "Whoa, maybe caffeine isn't such a good idea."

She grabbed the cup before he could pull it away and just gave him a weary smile of gratitude. Just then Ryan approached her desk. "Ok, we just got a tip on the location of the perp." He continued with the details as her team prepared to leave the bullpen.

Thirty minutes later they stood outside the shabby building that supposedly housed their suspect. Tensions were running high as they always did prior to a take down. However, all indications were that this particular suspect was relatively harmless. Most of the witnesses felt he might have killed his wife out of self-defense. However, he was now on the run and it was their job to bring him in regardless of his motives.

Castle was busy fastening Kate's Kevlar vest and she in turn was fastening his. They had decided that Ryan and Esposito would take the front entrance and she and Castle would enter by way of the side door off the alley. After attaching the portable radios, the three Detectives and one Writer were ready. The boys went one way and Kate and Castle took the short walk down the alley to a set of six cement steps that led to a large rusty steel door.

Kate removed her gun and began to climb the crumbling steps. She had given Castle strict instructions to remain in the alley and stand against the wall until she entered and cleared the hallway. Before she hit the top step Esposito's voice crackled through the radio. Their suspect had given himself up and the backup uniformed police officers were taking him in.

As Castle watched Kate press the button on her radio and begin to confirm her understanding, the door flew open with a gnarly screech. Castle couldn't see what had caused the offending steel monstrosity to move so quickly, but he heard it crack against Kate's face and shoulder with enough force to knock her off her feet. In fact, she was actually launched a few feet in the air. At the exact moment the door hit, her finger pressed down on the trigger of her gun. Castle saw the spark as the bullet ricocheted off the brick a few feet away from him.

That is when the world began to move in slow motion. His chest wrenched in pain has he watched Kate's limp body hurtle toward the ground. The concrete steps offered no railing to aid in breaking her fall. The sound her head emitted as it made contact with the blacktop caused his stomach to turn. At the same time he knew he heard the sound of snapping bones. He need to get to her, but the hulking form that emerged from behind the door stopped Castle in his tracks. He had no idea who the man was. He could only assume that the Police presence alone had forced the giant man to flee the building. Castle's eyes quickly traveled from the man's face to the huge gun in his hand. It was pointed directly at Kate's head as she lay on the ground moaning.

Knowing he had to do something Castle spoke,"Hey, you don't want to do that!" He was surprised his voice sounded as calm as it did. The adrenaline was coursing through his veins so powerfully that he was having trouble hearing over the whoosh in his ears. His heart was racing so fast that it actually hurt his ribcage as it pounded. The huge man turned and pointed the gun at him. Now looking down the barrel of the gun, Castle was actually relieved. He would do anything to keep the weapon away from Kate. He continued to speak, "Look, we aren't here for you. I have no idea who you are. The man we were looking for is now in custody." Castle could see the man squint as if the mere act of trying to understand what was being said to him was actually painful. Castle took the opportunity to slide one step to his left. This brought him within ten feet of Kate. The movement startled the stranger and he once again pointed the gun towards the Detective.

"I will kill the pig before I let her take me in." The man's words were slurred and Castle could see he was clearly under the influence of something.

"No!" The desperate yell brought the man's attention back to Castle. "Look, she isn't armed anymore." Castle had noticed that Kate's gun had slid about twenty feet up the alley when she fell. "And she is obviously in no condition to take you anywhere." He could see the man contemplating the situation. Again Castle slid another couple of feet in her direction. He was praying that the boys had heard the gunshot and would be coming to his aid at any minute.

"I'm not going back to prison."

"Look, I'm not a cop, I'm just an idiot writer along for the ride. But, I do know that whatever trouble you might be in, killing a cop would only compound the problem. There is no coming back from that." Castle had to choke back the vomit that rose in his throat as he spoke the unfathomable words, _killing a cop. _

"You're not a cop?"

He kept his hands in the air so as not to startle the man. "No, so there is nothing I can do to you. Please just go on and get out of here." Castle could hear himself breaking down. He needed so desperately to get to Kate. Needed to make sure she was OK. He took three more steps and was now standing between her and the gunman. He heard her whimper out his name. He knew she was protesting his actions, but he didn't care. He was not going to let this worthless piece of trash take her from him. Plus, in the current position, the man's back was now turned away from the entrance of the alley. He had no idea that Ryan and Esposito were making their way quietly up behind him. Castle knew he just needed to keep the man distracted for another few seconds, but he was beginning to tremble, he had never been so scared in his whole life. His nervousness caused him to make a significant mistake? He glanced over the the hulking man's shoulder to the approaching Detective's. Just that slight move caused the man to swing around and he began firing bullets in all directions. Castle instinctively protected Kate by throwing his body on top of hers. He knew it probably caused her more pain, but he needed to shield her from the hail of bullets flying overhead. He could hear Ryan and Esposito screaming at the perp to hit the ground, but finally they had to resort to using their own weapons to take the man down.

Once the explosions of gunfire ceased, Castle crawled off of her. He could see the heap of a man writhing in pain on the ground a few feet from him. Ryan had secured the weapon and Esposito was handcuffing him. Castle was afraid to look down at Kate. She had finally lost consciousness. Besides the large knot on the left side of her head where the door hit her, she was bleeding from where her face had hit the ground. Her right arm was twisted and swelling right before his eyes. Her breathing was ragged and she had blood dripping from her right ear and nose. He knew he shouldn't move her, but he needed to feel her in his arms. He scooped her into his lap. A that moment the world went from slow motion to warp speed. The adrenaline that had kept him going for the last few minutes was now causing him to tremble so badly he was unable to speak.

Ryan came to his side, "Castle, I called for a bus the minute we rounded the corner. They should be here any minute. Is she hit?"

Castle was almost hyperventilating as he finally found his voice. "I don't think so. He came through the door so fast that it knocked her off her feet. I think her arm is broken, but I'm more worried about her head. It hit the ground so hard."

"Castle, are you hit?" Ryan never took his eyes off Beckett as he spoke.

"No, don't worry about me. Where are the paramedics? God, she needs help!" Castle was beginning to lose control. He knew he needed to get a handle on himself. He rocked her in his arms like he had Alexis when she was a baby. He placed his lips on her forehead, he was relieved that she was at least warm against his skin. Other than the blood and gravel darkening it, her face was pale. As he rocked her he whispered in her ear. He told her how much he loved her, told her that she was the most spectacular thing to ever come into his life. By the time the ambulance arrived he had spilled his entire soul out to her. If this was going to be the last time he ever held her in his arms, he needed to make sure he left nothing unsaid.

Finally Esposito's voice cut into his haze. "Come on bro, you need to let them have her." He pulled Castle up and out of the way of the medics.

Castle began to pace up and down the alley. He ran his fingers through his hair and inhaled slowly in attempts to stop the shaking that had once again taken him over. His chest hurt like hell and he felt the need to scream. Suddenly he realized the man responsible was handcuffed and lying face down on the pavement in front of him. He had been shot a few times, but none of the wounds seemed life threatening. Castle stood over him and listened to him whine about needing medical attention. All the ire and hatred Castle had been holding in came to the surface. Before he knew it the boys were pulling him off of the the screaming giant, but not before he he had inflicted some damage to the mans face with his foot.

"Come on Castle, Beckett wouldn't want this. She needs you with her right now. Don't make this any worse. We don't want to have to cuff you." Esposito held Castle's arms behind his back until he felt the fight drain from his friend's body.

Castle shook the Detective loose just in time to follow the stretcher carrying Kate to the awaiting ambulance. He was pretty sure someone was telling him he couldn't ride along, but they soon realized that was a futile fight. He climbed in the bus and held her hand all the way to the hospital. He had never been a particularly religious man, but over the next few hours he prayed enough for a lifetime.

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After arriving at the ER, Castle was ushered to the waiting room where he met the guys and eventually Captain Montgomery and Lanie. After an hour or so a nurse had come out to let them know that her injuries were not life threatening, but she provided no more detail. Castle had called Jim Beckett's home to fill him in on the events of the day, but was unable to reach him. After the visit from the nurse, Castle had calmed down enough to give his statement to an IAB Investigator. This was standard procedure in cases of Officer Involved Shootings. He was still too focused on his need to see Kate to pay too much attention to the comings and goings of the officers, but did hear something about not being able to recover the bullet that Beckett had fired. No one seemed too concerned about it though. Castle had decided to hold off on calling Alexis. He didn't want to upset her before he had more news.

Finally after another couple of hours a Doctor approached them. He introduced himself as Dr. Campbell and explained the extent of her injuries. "Detective Beckett suffered a number of injuries. None of them really life threatening but serious enough to cause concern. The minor stuff includes three broken ribs and a slew of bruised ones. Her left shoulder was dislocated so I had to correct that. Her right arm sustained four broken bones, both the radius and ulna and a couple of smaller bones in the wrist. We set those and gave her a cast already. The most concerning issue is with her head. She suffered one of he most severe concussions I have ever seen, but the CT shows no brain bleeds. Her left cheek bone is also broken, but does not require surgery. She has not regained full consciousness but did begin to stir a bit, so I expect she could wake up any moment, however, I want her to rest so I gave her something to sleep. She is going to be in a lot of pain. She has more bruises and scrapes than I care to count. That being said, once she is awake, if she seems to be intact neurologically I will send her home tomorrow, but she will need to be monitored for the next few days at least."

Castle finally spoke, "Don't worry about that. I'm never going to let her out of my sight again. Can I see her now?" He was desperate at this point.

"Yes, but only two at a time." With that the Doctor led Castle down the hall. The rest of the visitors decided to stay behind and give him some time with her.

Castle made his way to the side of her bed. Her injuries had been cleaned up since he saw her last, but the bruising had begun to set in full force. She looked terrible, but was also the most beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes on. He took in the cast on her right arm and the sling on her left. The left side of her face was so swelled that he could not even see her eye and the right was covered in abrasions that he had learned in his time working with Beckett was commonly called road rash. Her shoulders were bare so he lifted the blanket slightly to see that her whole torso was wrapped tightly. He had to assume that was to support the broken ribs.

He couldn't stand it any longer, he needed to feel her. Needed to know she was ok. He carefully climbed in the bed next to her making sure not to disturb her. He laid his head next to hers on her pillow. He placed his hand on her chest. He found comfort in the rise and fall as she breathed and he counted her heartbeats as it pulsed in her chest. He was aware when Lanie entered the room. She stood on the other side of the bed and watched her friend but didn't disturb Castle, she just squeezed his hand as she left the room a few minutes later. Ryan was the next one to visit but only stayed a few minutes. Finally Esposito took his turn. Before leaving he told Castle they were all going to head home but assured him they could be reached anytime should the situation change or should Castle need them for any reason.

Finally after what seemed like years Castle felt Kate stir. She moaned a few times before opening the one eye that wasn't swollen shut. When she began to shake and attempted to sit up, Castle stood and rubbed her cheek. "Shhhh, don't try to move, you will hurt yourself." He watched as a tear fall from her eye and landed on the pillow beneath her head.

"Rick?"

"I'm here Kate. You're Ok, just rest. I'll take care of you. " He continued to rub her cheek until she relaxed. He laid back down beside her and realizing they had not yet that day played their little game; whispered in her ear, _"__If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you."_

He laughed as she spoke, her voice barely above a whisper, "Winnie the Pooh."

"Close enough." With that they both drifted off to sleep knowing that they had made it through another day, together...

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**Confession time. I can't bring myself to have them get shot or stabbed or worse. Just a bunch of minor injuries** **and the slew of psychological issues that will be sure to follow are about all I can handle.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Longest chapter yet. I just couldn't find a place to stop and slit it into two. This is about dealing with the aftermath of a tramatic situation.**

**I don't own them. In fact I lent my Season 1 and Season 2 DVD's to my cousin. I figured they could cheer her up as she recoups from surgery, but who's going to cheer me up while they are gone?**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Kate stared at the ceiling of her hospital room. She'd woken a few hours earlier and had since been trying desperately to fall back to sleep. She could tell she was heavily medicated; her head was in a fog. However, it wasn't enough to completely dull the pain that pulsed through her. In fact, she was hard pressed to find anything above her hips that didn't hurt. The last thing she remembered was hearing Esposito's voice on the radio. She had no idea what had transpired between then and the moment she woke up in the hospital.

Despite the pain, she was elated to know that the man she loved was safe. He'd been sleeping silently next to her on the bed since she woke up. She brushed her fingers softly against his hand as it laid over her heart. She wanted to curl into his warm embrace, but the pain and the contraptions that were now attached to her body would not allow for that. So, for a while she just listened to him breath while she watched the sunset through the window as night fell over the city. At one point a nurse entered the room and upon seeing the man sleeping at her side, began to protest.

"Miss Beckett, he can't…."

Kate interrupted the elderly woman and the sound of her voice was almost foreign. It was more the growl of an animal protecting its young. "Don't you dare disturb him."

The flash of anger in the nurse's eyes melted into empathy within seconds. She approached the bed from the opposite side and gave Kate a sad smile as she began to check her vitals and bandages. "How is the pain?"

"Tolerable"

"I can increase the pain medicine if you would like, but the Doctor will be in soon and I know he wants to assess you." The nurse's tone was not quite friendly; more matter of fact.

"No, I'm ok for now, thank you."

With that the nurse left, but the harm had already been done. Castle began to stir next to her. He raised his head and looked surprised to see her awake. He gingerly slid off the bed and stood. She could tell he didn't know where to touch her as he opted to caress her head, almost like one would pet a cat. "Hey," was all he said.

"Hey yourself." She tried to smile but even that small movement made her head hurt ten times worse than it already did. She flinched a little, as she looked him over for the first time. Besides being covered in wrinkles, his clothes were dirty and bloodstained. His hands were filthy and he seemed to have some abrasions on his palms. "Rick?"

He read her mind instantly, "I'm fine. The blood is mostly yours." He regretted the mostly part instantly. He didn't want to have to explain how he had practically split open some guys head as she laid injured in an alley. He hoped she wouldn't ask. "Ryan and Esposito are fine too."

"I don't remember?"

"Shhhh, you don't have to right now. We can talk about it later. Right now the important thing is that you're ok. You have a few broken bones, a concussion, multiple bruises and some cuts and scrapes. Nothing that won't heal in time." He leaned over and ever so lightly kissed her swollen lips as the door to the room opened.

"Good, I see you're awake." The Doctor approached the bed and introduced himself to Kate before explaining all of her injuries and then proceeded to assess her mental status. Once he was satisfied that she didn't seem to be suffering from any long-term neurological damage he gave his approval for her to be released the next morning.

Castle spoke up immediately, "Doctor, do you think it would be possible to discharge her before then?"

"Mr. Castle, it's the middle of the night, why don't you both get some rest. The morning will be here soon enough."

"That's what I'm afraid of. I would really like to get her out of here before the press shows up. I'm sure her name is already plastered all over the news. She shouldn't have to deal with them right now." Castle was practically begging.

The Doctor seemed to appreciate the situation. "Alright, let me have the nurse come in with the discharge paperwork." He continued with some instructions. "In no way is Detective Beckett to be left home alone for the next several days. I need you both to be acutely aware of any change in mood or lucidity that might indicate more severe brain injury. Also, I am going to give you the name of an orthopedic specialist. That wrist will require physical therapy at the least, but surgery may also be in your future." Once finished the Doctor left them alone.

Castle quickly called Lanie and Esposito. They would arrive in about an hour with some clothes for Kate and would drive them home. The nurse came in with more paperwork than Castle imagined was necessary and some prescriptions and the referral. Lanie arrived with a pair of sweats and a robe for Kate. They could only assume her clothes had been removed in haste by the ER staff. By the time Castle had her dressed and settled into the wheelchair she was white as a sheet and sweat drenched her face. He asked the nurse for a final dose of pain medication before they wheeled her out to Esposito's SUV. The medicine had taken effect quickly considering she had no food in her stomach; she was asleep by the time they arrived at Castle's loft. He didn't want to wake her so he scooped her up in his arms content to carry her despite his own fatigue and stiffness. Lanie followed them up as Esposito parked.

Once inside he carried her straight to their bedroom and laid her on the bed. He grabbed the comforter and folded it over her. Before leaving the room he knelt beside her and watched her breath. It was a sight he could never tire of. Even battered and bruised and looking more frail than he had ever seen her, Kate was still the most beautiful thing he had ever laid his eyes on. Finally satisfied that she was comfortable, Castle kissed her forehead and left her to sleep. Upon exiting the bedroom he found Lanie and Esposito in the Kitchen. They turned and watched him with concerned eyes as he sat down at the bar. He rubbed his face with his hands and let out an exhausted sigh.

Lanie spoke first, "Castle, you haven't eaten anything in the last twenty-four hours. I'm going to make you something before we leave."

His head continued to hang in his hands as his elbows rested on the marble countertop. "Neither has she."

"Come on Bro, you need to eat something. We're counting on you to take care of her and in order to do that, you have to take care of yourself first." Esposito laid his hand on Castle's shoulder as he spoke.

Castle nodded in agreement and sat in silence as his friends began to work on preparing some soup for now and a couple more meals that could be eaten over the next few days. They seemed to understand that he was not in the mood for conversation, but they did fill him in on the case. The suspect that they had originally been after had given himself up easily and then confessed to the killing of his estranged wife. Esposito was sure the man would argue self-defense and with the things the Detectives had learned about the victim since her death, he would most likely win that argument. He went on to explain that the man fleeing out the back door was a member of a motorcycle gang. He had multiple warrants pending for various crimes including assault on a police officer and the attempted murder of his ex-girlfriend. He had been at that building this morning scoring some drugs. Esposito chuckled and compared the four hundred pound hulk of a man on meth to a runaway train.

"Trust me, I saw first hand what that runaway train could do." Castle's spoke as he stirred the soup in his bowl. He had taken a few bites and on any other day would have thought it was delicious, but today it just seemed flat and it turned his stomach as soon as he swallowed it. "He threw that door open with such force. She looked like a rag doll." He quickly became choked up, so he took another bite of soup to help cover his emotion.

Esposito went on to explain that he and Ryan would be on desk duty while IAB finished their investigation. They had no doubt that it would be deemed a good shoot, but it may take a few days because they needed Beckett's statement as well since she had discharged her weapon, albeit involuntarily. They had all omitted the part about Castle kicking the suspect senseless. Any bruises he may have inflicted would just be attributed to his fall from the cement stairs as the Detective duo shot him. "Dude, I shot him twice and Ryan got him once and he barely felt it." Esposito sounded impressed and Lanie shot him a disapproving look.

"Well, we have to be at work in less than five hours. I think we should go home and try to get some sleep." Lanie could tell Castle wanted to go be with Kate, he had checked on her at least ten times in the hour since they had arrived home. "I will get her prescriptions filled and have Javier drop them by in the morning."

Castle thanked her as he led them to the door, "Thanks Lanie and you too Esposito. You guys are good friends." Castle was shocked when Lanie stepped up and wrapped him in a hug. Even more surprised that she squeezed hard enough that it hurt.

As she pulled away she couldn't help but give him a hard time. "Castle, you stink. Why don't you take a shower and change out of those clothes. I'm sure you will feel better." With that, they left.

Castle didn't bother to clean up the kitchen or himself for that matter. All he wanted to do was curl up next to Kate and that is what he did. He slept fitfully for a few hours. He woke every few minutes to make sure she was ok. He knew he was being a little silly. She was fine, beat up a bit, but she would be fine. Yet every time he closed his eyes he missed the sight of her. Every time he fell asleep he couldn't feel her. At about 5:00 am Mr. Beckett called. He'd been on a fishing trip and had just returned home and gotten the message. Castle assured the worried father that his little girl was going to be fine. He told Jim that she had taken a pretty bad fall while working and filled him in on her injuries. He didn't think any other details were required. He told Jim he was welcome to come and stay at his place for a few days if he wanted. Jim said he would come see Kate later today and play it by ear. As Castle hung up the phone he considered calling Alexis, but it was still the middle of the night in California and he knew that Alexis would panic if she couldn't hear Kate's voice for herself, so he opted to wait until later when Kate was able to talk. He hadn't yet noticed that Kate was awake and listening to his conversation with her father.

"A pretty bad fall? I feel like I have been hit by a bus." Castle sat up quickly and began to fuss over her asking about the pain and if she was hungry or if she needed another pillow. She just watched him until he calmed down. "I could use the truth. What happened?" She could see an unfamiliar flash in his hooded eyes.

"How about I get you some food and I will tell you the whole story while you eat."

Kate was hungry but her need to feel clean out weighed her desire to eat at that moment. "Do you think you could help me get a bath first? I feel absolutely disgusting and you don't look so good either."

Castle looked at her like he was trying to figure out a puzzle on her murder board. Finally his eyes sparkled slightly. He jumped off the bed and ran out of the room. A few minutes later he came back in with a roll of plastic wrap in his hand. She tried to give him a quizzical look, but she wasn't sure the swelling in her face had allowed for success. "It's for your cast. You can't get it wet. So if you want a bath I am going to have to wrap your arm up like a mummy."

Kate nodded her approval and he quickly came to her side and scooped her up in his arms. He carried her into the master bath. She stood in the middle of the room while he helped her out of the robe and sweats he had put on her in the hospital. Her broken right arm was casted from her knuckles to just below her elbow, but other than that she was able to maneuver it pretty easily. Her left arm, however was in a sling. They hadn't put it in the sleeve of the robe earlier but now trying to remove the sling was difficult. Her shoulder was very tender so he did his best to be delicate as he removed it and then proceeded to unwrap the bandage from her ribs.

As he worked she watched his face. There was something there that she didn't quite recognize. At first she thought it was because of the way she looked. She glanced at herself in the mirror. She was in pretty bad shape. Her face was swollen and raw and her hair was oily and crusted with blood. She held her left arm against her body and she was slightly hunched over. Standing fully erect was not possible with the condition of her ribs. But as she looked back to his face she could tell that was not the issue. She watched as he removed her clothes and bandages; his eyes held nothing less than adoration. He ran his hands ever so lightly over the swell of her hips as he found them splotched with purple bruises that seemed to deepen in color before his very eyes. He gave the same attention to the similarly colored areas of her ribcage once having removed the wrap. Once she was stripped and wearing nothing but the blue cast she was expecting him to now wrap in plastic, he moved his hands to her face. He never spoke as he ran his fingertips over every inch, from her forehead to her chin. She couldn't help but be reminded of a blind person trying to get a feel for someone's features using only their fingers. However unlike the blind, as he touched he also gazed upon every inch. Suddenly the scene felt so intimate. For a second she felt naked, not physically, even though she was, but emotionally. She and Rick had been in very intimate situations before, to say the least, but the power of this moment could not be matched. In fact she had no words for how safe and loved he was making her feel. But still there was something. Something he couldn't quite voice yet. Something he needed to work out in his head before sharing it with her.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Rick wrapped her cast and helped her into the tub. The water had been running and the air was now filled with the wonderful scent of cherry blossoms thanks to the bubble bath he had dropped into the flow. He helped her lower herself into the steaming bath. The pain in her ribs was almost unbearable, but there was no way to avoid that. Rick just whispered in her ear reminding her to breathe through it. She leaned against the slanted back of the tub. She rested the cast on the edge, but the rest of her body was submerged up to her collarbones. Rick sat behind her on the deep ledge of the tub after removing the candles and bath products that normally adorned the space. Kate shook her head slightly when she realized he hadn't even removed his slacks as he slid his feet into the water on either side of her shoulders. Overhead she could see him rolling up the sleeves of his dress shirt. He gently poured warm water over her disheveled hair being careful not to pour it down her face. Next he poured some shampoo into his hand and spent more time than required massaging to liquid into her hair. He was careful not to press too hard on the knot that had formed on the side of her head. After rinsing the suds from her hair he took a damp cloth and tilting her head back, ever so lightly washed her face. She was grateful for his soft touch on the abraded sensitive skin. Lastly he squeezed the steamy water over her shoulders using a large sponge. At that point she reached her casted hand up and touched his face as he leaned over her.

"I think that should do it, thank you." She figured the hot water she was soaking in could take care of the rest. "Now, spill it."

He knew what she meant, and he knew he had to tell her but he didn't want to have to relive the events in the alley. And since she had no recollection of it, he certainly didn't want her to have to live them at all. So he gave her the abridged version. He told her about the huge biker and how he was running from them even though they hadn't even been there for him. He told her that, as the door flew open and hit her, she accidentally discharged her weapon; she would soon need to give a statement to IAB. He explained that Ryan and Esposito had heard the shot and had come to their aid quickly. He had to tell her that they were on desk duty for firing their weapons but it would most likely be deemed justifiable. He purposefully left out any mention of the man having a gun or that he had intended to kill her.

Kate listened as he told her about the events in the alley. He spoke so quickly and there was absolutely no emotion as he spoke. She could tell he was holding something back. She had been a cop long enough to know when someone was omitting the details. Plus, the boys would never have shot an unarmed suspect. After he finished his tale, she was going to call him on it, but as soon as he was done talking he made some excuse about needing to return the plastic wrap to the kitchen. As he left the bathroom he told her he would be back in a few minutes to help her out of the tub. Kate couldn't reconcile what had just happened. As far as she could tell since the events in the alley, he hadn't even left her side long enough to change his clothes. He fussed over her every move. He even bathed her with all the tenderness of a father caring for a newborn. But, when asked to perform the simple task of explaining what had happened to her, he ran like the wind. But as she waited for him to return she began to doze. She was suddenly exhausted and could not keep her eyes open.

Rick had run out of the bathroom like a bat out of hell. He paced the living room like a caged animal. The anger was seething up and he was having trouble holding it at bay. He was so angry. Angry at the bastard that had hurt Kate, angry at her job for being dangerous, even angry at her for asking. But mostly he was angry at himself. He had done the one thing he never wanted to do. He lied to Kate Beckett. As he paced he looked down and saw the blood crusted on his clothes. Suddenly he could think of nothing but getting out of the offending outfit. Just looking down at the shirt brought back the picture of her bleeding in his arms. He ripped the shirt off with such force that it was practically in shreds. He could hear his breath coming out between gritted teeth. He removed his tee shirt and slacks with similar ire. His chest was now heaving hard and his heart pounded against the inside of his ribcage with the force of a jackhammer. After stripping down to his boxers he stepped on the pedal of the trashcan and slammed the material into the container. The move offered no relief from the anguish that was taking over. He kicked the piece of aluminum with such force it dented and went sailing across the kitchen. Then he turned and completely cleared the bar of all its contents. Glasses, plates and soup splattered all over the floor. Still needing to conflict some damage he made his way to the dining room and hurled a glass vase across the room. He watched is shatter against the wall as his rage and heaving breaths transformed into uncontrollable sobs. His shoulders shook with such force that he was unable to stand. He pulled out a dining room chair and plopped down in it and continued to sob with his face in his hands.

Kate was startled awake by a loud crash. She didn't know what had caused it, but it was soon followed by two more. Despite the pain it would cause she knew she needed to lift herself out of the tub. It took an awkward move but eventually she accomplished it. She ripped the plastic off her broken arm in a hurried motion that caused daggers of pain in the opposite injured shoulder. She was so worried about Rick that she almost left the bathroom naked, but was afraid Martha or someone else may be in the apartment. She grabbed the robe she wore home from the hospital and wrapped it around her soaking body. She didn't bother sliding either of her wounded arms into the sleeves; just held the front together with one hand. As she crossed the threshold of their room and stepped into the kitchen she was stopped in her tracks. She saw the upturned trashcan with his clothes hanging out of it. She scanned the kitchen and saw the shattered dishes on the floor and the food dripping down the cabinets. Finally, from across the room she saw him sitting in the dark. As she moved closer she could see he was wearing nothing but his boxers. He had his elbows on his knees and he was crying uncontrollably. Her heart hit the floor. She had never seen Richard Castle in such a state. Any physical pain she was experiencing was instantly outmatched by the emotional agony spreading through her. She made her way to him and placed her left hand on his head. As long as she kept her shoulder immobile, the pain was minimal. He continued to cry but raised his head enough to grab her by the hips and pulled her into his lap. She no longer worried that someone else was present in the loft and she let the robe fall off her shoulders; it pooled behind her on his knees. She wrapped her right arm behind his head and pulled him to her chest keeping her injured left arm tucked between their bodies. She held him against her as he sobbed. She had to make a concerted effort not to whimper from the pain his hands were causing as he gripped her bruised hips. Every retching sob he emitted racked her battered body with pain, but she was too focused on him to complain. She hummed in his ear, not knowing what to say. At one point he realized the situation and he tried to pull back as he spoke in a stammer.

"Oh my God Kate, what am I doing? You must be in so much pain!"

Before he could lift her from his lap she just held him close and kissed his head. "Not nearly as much as you, Rick. Just let it out."

Uncontrollable sobs once again took him over. Finally, after a few minutes, the sobbing subsided into quiet whimpers. He began to mumble against her chest. As he spoke, his breath caused goosebumps to form on her still damp flesh. "He was going to kill you Kate. He had a gun pointed to your head. I thought I was going to lose you. I have never been so scared in my life. I felt so helpless!" As he finished his outburst he reached behind her and lifted the rob over her chilled skin.

"But he didn't, and I don't have to remember what happened to know that you are probably the reason I am still alive, and I thank you for that." As she spoke she used the fingertips protruding from her cast to lift his chin. She used her free thumb to wipe away the tears from his cheeks and the snot from his upper lip. "I'm sorry you had to go through that, but I am glad you were there."

"I'm still so scared, Kate. I can't close my eyes without reliving it." Castle again laid his head against her chest. He just needed to feel her alive against his skin.

She didn't know what she could say that could ease his worry. Her job posed risks and she was willing to deal with that, but she hated that he had to just because he loved her. She was afraid that this experience would diminish his childlike viewpoint of the world. She knew she had to do something to lighten the mood. Something to help bring him out of it. Again she lifted his face to hers. She caressed his cheek with her thumb and she brushed her lips across his. Barely separating her mouth from his she spoke, _"Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other." _She kissed him again. "Thank you for loving and protecting me."

His melancholy mood shifted. He knew he couldn't wallow in the pain of what had happened. Not only was she safe and in his arms, but she was pulling him back to life. For the first time since they began playing their little game, Castle was stumped and he knew she knew it, but he needed to respond. He was taken back to their brief conversation in the hospital earlier and decided to revisit their old friend Winnie the Pooh. He moved his hands to cup her face. "_You make me laugh when I don't even want to smile." _He took possession of her mouth with his. He reveled in the taste of her, but soon realized that she had exerted herself more than she should have. He shifted her off his lap and scooped her up into his arms. As he carried her back the bed and settled her in, she caught a glimpse of something.

"Rick! What is that?" She pointed to the large discolored spot on his right lower ribcage.

Castle looked down. Realization slowly crept into his head. The chest pain in the alley, the soreness when he lifted Kate, The jab of pain when Lanie hugged him. He couldn't help but smile as he saw the horrified look on her face. "Well, I guess I can tell Esposito where to look for your long lost bullet." Picturing the Kevlar vest that now lay in the trunk of Kate's car. He sat next to her and pulled her into arms. "You finally did it."

It was now Kate's turn to cry. "Oh my God Rick, I shot you!"

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**Congrats to Amybf19 for realizing that Kate actually shot Castle, but I reminded her that he was wearing the vest, so no worries!**


	19. Chapter 19

**This is another M rated chapter. Again, don't really like writing these things, but I think that sex is another form of communication. So it has to be done. Promise the next few chapters will be more fun and less angst.**

**Oh, a shout out to atheart101. I enjoyed reading all your reviews and it was kind of fun knowing that while I was working you were reading.**

**Finally, I kind of like the anonymity of FanFiction, so I hesitate to do this, but if you want to follow me on twitter I am mcnevs. I am not really that interesting but hey. If you do decide to follow me let me know who you are so I can follow back.**

**Don't own them..**

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Kate sat on the window seat of their bedroom with her knees pulled to her chest. She watched the rain as it poured outside. The sun had gone down a few hours earlier and not long after, Castle had settled in for the night, however, she was waiting to hear from Alexis before settling in herself. The last week had been pretty stressful. The first few days after being injured on the job were spent just trying to recover. By Thursday evening she had begun to feel more like herself. The swelling in her face had subsided considerably but the area was still extremely discolored, having gone from red to purple to blue and was now a decidedly putrid shade of yellowish green. The other bruises and abrasions on her face and arms were also healing well as was her dislocated shoulder. Only her broken arm and ribs still caused any discomfort. She only took the pain meds as needed, which had dwindled down to about once every other day, depending on how much she exerted herself.

Friday was spent at Doctor visits. Her follow up with Dr. Campbell was routine. He had even agreed to check Castle's injury which, as they had assumed, proved to just be a couple of bruised ribs. Later that day the orthopedic specialist had given her some bad news. The arm bones were healing fine but the small wrist bones she broke were most likely going to cause her some problems. She would need to wear the cast for the full six weeks and after that, a few weeks of Physical Therapy would be required. If at that point she had regained full use of the wrist, then no surgery would be required. However, often with these types of breaks, corrective surgery was sometimes an option, and for a right handed police officer that needed to return to active duty, it may be a necessity. She had at least hoped he would release her to partial duty, but that was not to be. He explained that even the repetitive motion of typing and filling out paperwork would inhibit proper healing. Of course, this unexpected turn of events had initially put her in a foul mood. Of course, just as he had been all week, Castle was by her side and managed to cheer her up, something that came as easy to him as breathing.

Early on in her career while still in uniform she had gotten hurt, not this seriously, but it put her out of commission for about a month. It had not been a positive situation at all. Her anger and depression had quickly ruined the romance that was budding between her and a fellow officer, she delved deeper into her Mother's case than she ever had, and if asked she would even admit to hitting the bottle a little harder than she should have. A mandatory psych eval and subsequent therapy sessions were the only things that eventually pulled her out of it, and by extension had helped her put her Mother's case down until Castle would eventually unearth new info.

As she internally reminisced about the past, she stole a glance at her partner sleeping soundly in the bed a few feet away. She had no fear of falling down that hole this time. As a young brash officer, her life held no balance. She was so focused on her career and to hell with everything else. Really her life had held no meaning whatsoever. Now, time and circumstance had changed things. She tried to pinpoint the actual moment that her downhill slide turned into the uphill climb that had allowed her to get to where she was now. It would be easy to say love changed things and to some degree it had, but that would be too simple of an answer. She would admit that with the arrival of the tall, dark and ruggedly-handsome writer into her life her universe had shifted, but that wasn't actually _the_ moment. In fact it really wasn't a moment, it was the collection of all the moments since meeting him. She thought about something he said early on in their romantic involvement, '_my books were just the bookmark holding my place until I found my way into your life.' _How true that statement was. His words were the thing that kept her afloat, and ultimately, it was his words that brought him into her life. However, it was his actions everyday since that had allowed her to heal, and without that healing she would never have been able to open her heart to him let alone hand it over to him so willingly. No, she would not fall down that hole again, not just because he wouldn't let her, but because of him, there was no longer a hole at all.

_"Love cures people - both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it." _She spoke out loud, but in a whisper. She almost wished Castle was awake to answer her, but she knew he needed his sleep.

In fact they had decided that this morning she would leave him home to rest and write while she took a cab to the precinct. She needed to give her statement to IAB and also fill out the paperwork for her sick leave. She spent some time visiting with the Captain, Ryan and Esposito before meeting Lanie for lunch at Remy's. It felt good to be out of the loft and she planned to take the whole day for herself. She had begun to feel a little cooped up after being in bed so long. She spent a little time in Central Park. She did some shopping and then stopped by her apartment. Castle had been running back and forth between their homes retrieving anything she may need, but she herself hadn't been there in over a week. She thought she would be happy to be home, even if for just a few hours, but it felt off somehow. This was the home of a single woman and she was no longer that. It felt cold and lonely. She tried to shake the feeling and went about doing a little cleaning. Her fridge was almost HAZMAT worthy at this point, so she dumped everything it contained. As she sat down to sort her mail, the loneliness hit again. She hadn't known it at the time, but a decision had been made the night they returned from the Hamptons. This was no longer her home. Her home was with Castle and Alexis. She left everything but the mail, locked up and headed home.

As the rain continued to pour, she realized she was grinning from ear to ear just thinking about her new found family. Suddenly the pocket of her robe began to vibrate and she quickly dug out the two cell phones she had tucked into it earlier. Alexis had been calling every evening around 11:00 pm. Sometimes she called Kate's cell and sometimes her Dad's. Kate had grabbed them both and switched them to vibrate so as not to disturb Castle. Tonight Alexis chose her Dad. "Hey Alexis." Kate's voice was almost a whisper.

"What's wrong? Where's Dad?" Apparently the stress of the last week had even effected Alexis, she sounded panicked.

"Nothing's wrong, he's just already asleep. He hasn't gotten a lot of rest lately. You know how he hovers. I don't want to disturb him." There was actually more to his lack of sleep, but Kate didn't see any need in worrying the teenager. There was nothing she could do to help from the other side of the country.

"Yeah, I have been the victim of that hovering for sixteen years now. I'm kind of glad he has something new to focus on." Alexis felt guilty the moment the words passed her lips. "Oh Kate, I didn't mean…."

Kate understood and interrupted, "I know what you meant, and I promise, I am fine, or I will be. Anyway, how was your day?"

"Well, I kind of wanted to talk to Dad about something, but I guess I can ask you and you can pass it along. My Mom just dropped some news into my lap. She has to go on a trip to promote her new movie. She wants me to go with her. It will take about two weeks. I really don't want to go, but I don't want to hurt her feelings. I was hoping Dad could come up with something to get me out of it." Kate had to chuckle, sometimes the untypical teenager was an oh-so typical teenager.

Kate thought she had a simple solution. "Why don't you just come home. You were dreading spending the whole summer there anyway?"

"Well, I thought about that, but she and I had a long talk. You know, about her lack of interest in my school work." Kate was shocked, Alexis had not mentioned anything about talking to Meredith about that. "Anyway, her way of trying to rectify that was by scheduling some college visits at some schools out here on the West Coast. Granted she scheduled them with the Heads of the Drama Departments." Alexis sighed, "Anyway, the visits are scheduled for after her trip. I can't really bail on her."

"Well, I don't think your Dad would feel comfortable with you staying there alone for two weeks." Kate didn't feel comfortable with the idea either. "You know what? I have an idea. Let me run it by your Dad and we will let you know tomorrow."

Alexis pepped up immediately, "Thanks Kate. Well I gotta go, Mom is waiting for me in the car. Give Dad a kiss for me, love you Kate."

"I love you too sweetie, I'll be sure to give him a big sloppy one. Maybe that way he won't kill me for not waking him up to talk to you."

Alexis groaned aloud, again acting her age. "Gross Kate, now I have to try to eat dinner with that image stuck in my head!"

Kate ended the call and made her way across the dark room. She stopped on Castle's side of the bed and said a little prayer that tonight he would sleep through till morning. The last three nights had been interrupted by nightmares. Three nights ago he woke up in a panic, covered in sweat and panting like he had just run a marathon. Neither one of them thought too much of it. Kate had just snuggled in his arms and they had gone back to sleep easily. When he awoke the next night in a similar yet more intense panic, Kate felt like a mother trying to convince a toddler that there was no boogeyman hiding in the closet. Castle couldn't remember the dream, and the fear it left him in upon waking made him not want to remember. After some soothing from Kate, they again managed to sleep, albeit fitfully. Last night had been the last straw for him; once awake and reeling from the intensity of the nightmare he had refused to even attempt to rest. They spent the night sitting up in bed talking about everything but the elephant in the room. Only after returning from her day out today did he even mention it. He came up behind her as she was rummaging in the freezer for some ice cream. He wrapped her in a hug and told her that he couldn't help it, even though he knew she was fine, his unconscious mind had not yet let go of the fear he felt when she got hurt. She wished she had told him at the time, but for some reason she hadn't, but she was well acquainted with nightmares and the toll they could take before eventually going away. She didn't want Castle to have to endure that. He looked at life with such hope and amazement. To him everything posed an opportunity for fun and play. She didn't want that to change. His exuberant innocence was what made him so him. She could tell that he had never experienced nightmares before and they were effecting him more than he let on.

Finally she walked around, removed her robe and slipped under the covers next to him. He was on his stomach facing her. She could only see half his face, the rest was buried in his pillow. She scooted as close as she could and watched him sleep. She ran her fingers through his hair and softly touched his face. He was so handsome, to her there was nothing rugged about him. He was soft and beautiful. She knew he would hate it if she ever said that out loud. He so wanted to me a man's man. But she was glad he wasn't. She loved that he could be scared and silly and self depricating. And his hair, he fussed over it more than most women did. She appreciated that it always looked good, but she preferred the way it looked after a long night of lovemaking. It laid down over his forehead and stuck up slightly at the crown. She slid her hand down his back and breathed in the scent that was so uniquley his. He was broad shouldered and toned, but not overly muscular. She let her eyes wander down his body. She smiled as her eyes rested on his backside. Kate quickly learned that Castle preferred to sleep in his underwear instead of pajamas, but only if Alexis wasn't in the house. She was sure there was a story behind that one, but couldn't bring herself to ask for details. With his daughter away for the summer, however, he had taken to skipping the underwear all together. She suddenly wanted to run her hands over his adorable backside, but she thought twice about it. She really did want him to rest. So, she just closed her eyes and willed herself to sleep.

"It's ok Rick!"

Kate was speaking before she even opened her eyes. Glancing at the clock she figured he had gotten at least six hours of sleep in. He wasn't yet awake, but his ragged breathing and the shaking of the bed were enough to bring her around. She rubbed his head and tried to sooth him, hoping he would calm down. After a few minutes his breathing evened out and the shaking stopped. He opened his eyes but unlike the previous nights there was no panic in them. The corners of his mouth turned up in a sheepish smile. With that look her body melted like butter. She ached to feel him, they hadn't yet made love in _their_ bed. He saw the lust filled look in her eye immediately. He didn't say a word, just pulled her to him and gave her a chaste kiss before nuzzling his face in her neck.

Kate spoke in a voice heavy with lust, "Please Rick, I've missed you." They hadn't made love since their last night away, but she was ready. Her wounds were healed enough. He raised his head and looked her in the eye. The concern was evident. She spoke before he could, "I'll play by your rules, you're in charge, I know you won't hurt me."

Castle always let her be in charge, it was the dynamic of their relationship, and she liked it that way, but tonight he needed to regain some control and for that to happen, she had to let him. She sat up and removed the tee shirt she was wearing. She laid herself down beside him. Tonight she was offering herself as his muse once again. He turned on his side and propped himself up on his elbow. He looked her up and down. He watched as the moonlight refracted by the rain on the window danced across her perfect body. He could hear her breath become ragged and the heat began to radiate from his body as he lay next to her. Finally he ran his finger down the length of her body, from her collarbone to her navel. He then spread his large hand over her stomach and back up over her left breast. Her skin felt like silk under his fingertips. Her body reacted immediately. Both nipples stood erect begging for his attention.

For a second Kate was shocked when he turned away, but quickly realized he was just turning on the lamp beside the bed. When he turned back to her his eyes were dark with want, but his movements were slow and purposeful. He took one breast into his mouth slowly running his tongue over the engorged flesh. As he moved to give attention to the other breast he tilted his face towards hers. "I need to see you as well as feel you." With that the heat between her legs turned into an inferno. She hadn't realized how hard it was going to be to allow him to be in charge. She resisted the urge to grab him and pull him into her mouth.

He began to explore her with his hands while he continued to feast at her chest. He found her hands at her sides and wound his fingers into hers as he brought them to his mouth. He left her breasts and ran kisses from the inside of her left palm up her arm to her collarbone before tracing them down the other arm. He stopped at the top of her cast briefly before taking each of her fingers one by one into his molten mouth. Kate threw her head back in ecstacy. His mouth was the place of dreams. Finally releasing her hands he shifted to his knees. He settled in between her thighs spreading them for her with his massive hands. Castle marveled at every curve of her body. He hardened at the sight of her, slick and ready.

Before he gave attention to the place she so eagerly wanted to feel him, he leaned over and took control of her mouth with his. He sucked her tongue into his mouth and took it between his teeth before releasing it and darting his tongue into her mouth. She moaned as he ran it across the roof of her mouth. Her body shivered of its own accord when he replied with a sound more visceral than hers. She reveled in the taste of him and he never left her lips even as he reached for a pillow with one hand and slid the other under her bottom to lift her off the bed. He finally lifted his face from hers and slid the pillow underneath her hips. He had elevated her pelvis to a new angle. He then slipped another pillow under her head. With that movement his arousal pressed into her abdomen and she again had to resist the urge to touch.

He could see the look in her eye so he took her left hand in his and placed it on himself. He wrapped his hand around hers and guided her in a few slow strokes. He applied pressure to her hand in the places that provided him with the most pleasure. He knew he couldn't hold out for long if he continued.

As she stroked him she committed the movements to memory. She would be sure to mimic the action in the future to let him know she was paying attention. He removed their united hands from his body and again brought her hand to his mouth.

He nibbled her palm as he ran his free hand across her body once again. His eyes never left hers as he touched each nipple with the pads of his thumbs. She tried not to give him a pleading look, wanting him to make his move at his own pace. She could feel the moisture running from her body onto the sheets below. She had never before had an orgasm without actual stimulation, but the more he nibbled at the sensitive spot in her palm and grazed his thumb over her breast all the while looking at her like she was the most precious thing he had ever laid eyes one, she gave in. The sensations were just too much and she spasmed from the inside out. Her knees bent of their own volition and she pressed her thighs into his hips as she came down from the high. He was torturing her, but it was a heavenly torture.

Castle watched her as she writhed beneath him. He so wanted to feel her, but watching was more arousing than he could have imagined. Once her breathing steadied he leaned over her and just whispered, "Breathtaking." He could tell she realized what he meant when he said he needed to see her as well as feel her. He had watched her give herself over, now he was going to feel her. He watched in awe as she rode out a few more lingeriing shockwaves as they ran through her core.

She thought back to their many sexual encounters and there had been many, even in the short time since becoming intimate. The first time had brought them to tears as they committed their bodies to each other making promises to each other without words. All the following had been just as mind blowing but had, much like their conversations, been playful and filled with games and exploration of their new found closeness. But tonight wasn't about that. Tonight was about relinquishing herself to him, letting him know that unlike at work, where he followed her, in their life together his path was her path. Before he could continue, she pulled him in for another kiss, _"__Loving is not just looking at each other, it's looking in the same direction."_

Castle just smiled and moved down her body but spoke before taking her into his mouth. He answered her with a similar quote from the same novelist. _"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the naked eye." _As he finished speaking his tongue met the bundle of nerves between her legs. He feasted there just as he had feasted at her breasts. She tasted sweeter than any wine he had or would ever have again. His tongue darted in and out as he tasted her essence. He traced the opening that had been made for him and him alone.

Kate had never felt the sensations she was feeling with him tonight. Each time with him was better than the time before. He must have sensed her need to feel him inside her. Castle raised up on his knees and placed his hands on either side of her hips. With the pillow still underneath, she was basically laid out on a platter for him to partake. His hesitation was more than she could stand. His fingers dug into her hips and he held her still even against the involuntary bucking. Finally she lost all resolve and she screamed out, "Castle!"

With the sound of his name he plunged himself into her. The angle allowed for direct and continued contact between his erection and her throbbing nub. She was so slick and his thrusts were so slow. He would drive himself in with such force, but then would withdrawal so achingly slow. All the while his hips rotated in circular motions.

Kate found herslef unable to keep up, but it felt so good that it didn't matter. Just when she thought she was going to come again, he reached behind her left knee and pulled her leg up to drape it over his shoulder. Again, the change in angle sent a new set of sensations through out her body.

Finally, he knew he had hit the spot he was looking for. He stopped the thrusts and just buried himself deeper and stayed there. The movement she was making beneath him were all he needed and he spilled into her again and again. Her quakes were practically milking the seed out of him.

Kate felt like she was floating. She hit a high she had never reached before. She knew she was screaming his name over and over, but all the blood had left her head and she was unable to hear anything. As he let go into her she lowered her leg and allowed him to lay on top of her. She wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his shoulders as he head rested on her chest. He sucked at her breast between hot breaths. Neither one of them were willing to break the connection despite the heat and sweat that covered them both.

As Kate ran her fingers through his hair over and over, Castle knew he would have no more nightmares. How could a man have nightmares when he was holding the object of so many dreams in his arms? Finally her hand became still and he thought she had fallen asleep. Before he drifted off to sleep he couldn't help but comment about how right Leo Tolstoy had been.

Kate let out a little chuckle before drifting off herself. Little had he known that just an hour earlier, while sitting at the window, she had thought the same thing.


	20. Chapter 20

**Hope you like this chapter. The first part is from Alexis's POV. It was harder than I thought it would be. Also, I felt like the last few chapters were a bit heavy, so I wanted to do something a little lighter, but I seem to always go to the heavy place. However, I think there is a little more banter in this one than the last few. **

**I must confess, I hurt my back today and am in bed writing this. I have had a good dose of pain meds and a muscle relaxant. So, I hope my hallucinations have pity on me and for just the night I can dream that I own them. **

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"Dad! Kate!"

Alexis waved enthusiastically to get their attention as they made their way past security at LAX. As they approached she jumped into her Dad's arms pulling Kate into the embrace with her free arm. Alexis breathed in the familiar scent of home before stepping back and giving Kate another quick squeeze. Five weeks away really had been more than she could stand. She was so happy to see them. The last three weeks had dragged along knowing that they would soon be out to visit. She had been shocked when her Dad called and told her Kate had suggested they come out to California while Meredith was away.

"Hey pumpkin, we missed you." Her Dad wrapped his arm around her shoulders as he kissed the top of her head. Together the three of them walked towards baggage claim.

"Jeez Dad, how much did you pack?" Alexis watched with astonishment as her Father removed four large suitcases from the belt. That was in addition to the two carry-ons already slung over his shoulder.

"Hey, two of them are Kate's!" He feigned offense as he loaded the luggage in question onto a cart.

"Oh no! One and a half of them are mine remember? I had to share because you realized last minute you hadn't packed any pajamas and your bags were full." Kate slugged him in the chest before slipping her arm into the crook of his.

"Well if you think about it, my clothes do take up more space then yours." Alexis watched her Father waggle his eyebrows at Kate.

Knowing this conversation was most likely headed towards the size of Kate's bikinis or worse, her undergarments, as compared to his. Alexis didn't want it to go any further, she interrupted. "Well, I have a cab waiting outside but I'm thinking we may need another one just for the luggage."

As they stepped out into the California heat she noticed Kate yawn. Alexis had been so worried about her. The Detective and her Dad had shielded her from most of the details, but Alexis knew the injuries had been pretty serious by the tone in her Father's voice when he initially called to give her the news. She'd never heard her father sound so devastated. Alexis was relieved to see that the cast on Kate's arm seemed to be the only remnant left of that fateful day. Alexis leaned into Kate's side as her Dad helped the cab driver load the large suitcases in the trunk. He then slid the two carry-ons across the back seat before sliding in himself. He reached his hand out the open door and looked to Kate.

"Come on woman, don't be shy." He patted his knees clearly indicating that she had to ride on his lap.

Alexis and Kate rolled their eyes in unison but Kate happily climbed in and took her rightful place in his lap. Alexis slid in next to her Dad. "So kiddo, are you hungry? Kate and I are famished."

The three of them discussed lunch options while the cab headed across town to the hotel. They needed to drop off their luggage and check in before they could do anything else. As they talked, Alexis couldn't help but watch with amazement at the interaction between her Father and the other woman in his life. She could tell there had been a shift in their relationship since she had last seen them. Whereas before, his hand on her leg would have been placed just above the knee. Now it rested much higher on her thigh, almost meeting the hem of the purple sundress that showed off Kate's long muscular legs. Actually, on second glance, he didn't so much as rest it, instead he ever so subtly squeezed her inner thigh every few seconds and caressed the skin with his thumb. Alexis also noticed his other hand as it gripped low on her hip where he gently rubbed small circular motions with his fingertips. In the same vein, Kate leaned into her Father's chest more than Alexis had ever noticed before. Occasionally, as the man they both adored, talked excitedly about all the fun they were going to have, Kate would either; brush his hair from is forehead or softly run her hand down his chest. A couple of times, she even nuzzled her nose against his cheek. The odd thing was that they were no way ignoring Alexis. On the contrary, they were both completely focused on her. The little gestures seemed to be the unconscious touches of two people profoundly in love.

Alexis had seen her Dad with many women. She was too young to remember him with her Mom, but had been there for Gina, both times. Never had she seen him this happy or this in sync with any of them. He was so different with Kate. Sure, he was still her doting Father. He was still silly and crazy most of the time, but he was also content. Richard Castle had always been restless. He was always looking for the next big thing to get excited about and fill that empty space in his life. Alexis was thrilled that he was no longer looking, he had found it. And if nothing else, she knew what it felt like to be loved by him. His love and affection took on a life of its own. If Richard Castle loved you, you felt it in everything he did. Alexis didn't need to tell Kate that, she was pretty sure the woman felt it, and returned it in kind.

"Ok, you two beauties just sit tight. I'll check us in and have the bags taken to our room, then we will be off." Castle slid Kate off his lap and shoved the bags out the door ahead of himself. He leaned back in before shutting the door. "Commence talking about the old man."

Kate and Alexis gave the eye roll in unison again but giggled as he strolled to the entrance of the hotel. Kate turned in the seat to look at Alexis. She lifted her hand and brushed her thumb over the teenager's cheek. "You look great! You have a little more color than I thought you would. I'm surprised that you can even tan with that perfect skin."

"Yeah, I can tan, but I have to be really careful because I burn pretty easily. You look good too Kate." Alexis glanced down at the cast then looked back into Kate's eyes. "I was really scared."

"I know you were and I'm sorry I put you through that."

"Those who love us leave us, right?" Alexis remembered something her Dad told her when Grams was considering moving in with Chet the previous year.

Kate pulled Alexis in for a hug. She rested her chin on the teen's head and stroked her silky hair. "I guess they do, but not always by choice. I will _never_ choose to leave you or your Dad. I can't promise I won't be taken from you, but really, who _can_ make that promise?" Answering her own question, "No one can."

Alexis fiddled with Kate's necklace, she was wearing her Mother's ring today. "You really love us don't you?"

Kate smiled, "More than you can imagine, even if you inherited your Father's imagination? Alexis...?" She lifted the girls face from her chest. "Where is this coming from? Is this still about Meredith?"

Alexis shook her head. "No, I took your advice. I've decided to accept her for who she is and not to worry about what she's not. I know she loves me to the best of her ability. I just know not to expect her to give the kind of love I get from you and Dad. Like you said, she hasn't changed, I did and I can't be mad at her for that." Alexis could see that Kate was still waiting. "I used to worry about him." Kate just raised an eyebrow at her. "I worried about leaving him for college. He did earn _some_ of his reputation, you know?" Alexis laughed as she remembered the many times she watched her Dad sign the chests' of infatuated fans. She remembered going to the police station, more than once, to bail him out of jail after some stupid stunt. "I always feared that with me gone, he would go the other way, you know?"

"Nobody gives him enough credit. He isn't a different person than he's always been; he just took longer to grow up than the rest of us did." Kate smiled at the thought of her soulmate.

Alexis liked the way Kate viewed her Father and she hoped that one day she would view someone that way too, if she was lucky. "I don't worry anymore. I know he will be fine, he has you."

Kate smiled, but shook her head. "You're not getting off the hook that easily young lady. I'm not a replacement for you. He doesn't need you less just because he has me. In fact, now you have me needing you too. He may have grown up, but he's still a handful."

"True!" Alexis laughed with Kate.

"But I am glad that because of me you don't have to worry about him. You need to have your own life. I know what it's like to have to be responsible for a parent, and so does your Dad, actually. That isn't something either of us want for you. Does that make sense?"

Alexis nodded, "It's the line between being someone's kid and being an adult, huh?"

"Afraid so."

"Well, I'm glad I have another year before I have to cross that line because right now I am enjoying being your kid. It sucks growing up." Alexis leaned into Kate's side.

"Why do you think it took your Dad so long to do it?" Their laughter was interrupted by a familiar voice as the door opened.

"What did I do wrong now?"

They laughed even harder as Castle climbed in the back seat and wrapped his arm around both of their shoulders. Kate's hand softly grazed his cheek before landing instinctively on his leg. She placed her mouth very close to his ear, Alexis had to assume Kate didn't think she could hear her, but she could. "On the contrary, I'm pretty sure you did everything right."

Alexis could only smile as she prayed a silent prayer that someday she would have what they had.

xxxxxxxxxx

Both Castle and Kate felt very uncomfortable. They were standing in Meredith's apartment waiting for Alexis to pack a suitcase. She was going to stay at the hotel with them. They had just finished having a nice lunch then took a walk down Santa Monica Pier. The weather was beautiful and Kate enjoyed the wide open feel the ocean provided. She loved Manhattan, should couldn't imagine living anywhere else, but sometimes NY had an extremely claustrophobic feel to it. Not as claustrophobic as the living room they were standing in at the moment, however. Kate couldn't help but turn up her nose at Meredith's choice of décor. Every wall was covered in headshots, magazine covers and movie posters. Every last one of them of herself. Castle had never been to Meredith's home, but wasn't surprised at the overt egotism. He could however tell that Kate was turned off by it.

"You'd think the woman didn't own a mirror. I mean come on, does she forget what she looks like when she wakes up in the morning and needs these to remind her? I mean, it's like _50 First Dates_ in here."

Kate smiled at his joke. She had a very hard time imagining him and Meredith together. She had only met the woman once, and usually tried to reserve judgment, but with Castle's ex, she couldn't help it. As if reading her mind he wrapped his arms around her from behind, leaning his chin on her shoulder. "I was a very different person back then." He placed a kiss on her neck.

"Eeeww, don't do that here, somehow it feels…."

He finished her sentence, "Voyeuristic? Yeah, I realized that as soon as I did it." He dropped his hands from around her, but gave her a quick smack on the rear before moving to stand next to her. "But Seriously, you know that right?" He was referring to his earlier statement. "I wouldn't take it back because that would mean a life without Alexis, but I'm not that guy anymore." When she just nodded he continued, "It is easy to blame her," he nodded towards one of the many pictures of his ex-wife, "but I wasn't the Prince Charming I am now."

"Oh, so I should consider myself lucky, huh?" Kate gave him a wink.

"Yep, she got the frog and you, milady got His Royal Highness." Castle performed a dignified bow.

Kate rolled her eyes, "more like His Royal Pain in the Ass." She laughed as he mimicked the action of a thrusting a sword to his heart. Just as he knelt to the ground, Alexis came bounding into the room.

"Seriously Dad, don't you think this place is filled with enough drama?"

xxxxxxxxxx

"Do you know what she said to me?" Kate propped her head on her hand and looked at her Partner laying next to her. It was dark in the hotel room despite the early hour. It had been a long day and they were both suffering from a little bit of Jetlag, so they had drawn the darkening curtains and turned in early.

"Hmmm?" Castle was pretty sure he had been a millisecond away from sleep when her voice cut through the silence.

"Alexis. When we were in the cab, do you know what she said?" Kate didn't seem to realize his semi-conscious state.

"Uh-uh?"

"She said she was enjoying being my kid." She got no response, "Rick, did you hear me?" She shifted a little more onto her side hoping to be able to see his face, but the darkness enveloping the room made that impossible.

Castle realized that sleep would not be possible unless he answered her, "Yes, I heard you."

"Well?"

"Well what? My powers of mindreading seem to be on the fritz tonight. Did she say something wrong?"

Kate huffed, "I don't know, you tell me?"

Well, now he was fully awake and knew that sleep would not be achieved unless she got whatever it was off her chest. Castle sat up in the bed and hit the the base of the touch lamp on the bedside table. He looked down at Kate. She had laid back down on her back and blinked up at him while her eyes adjusted to the sudden change in illumination. "What do mean? I should tell you what?"

Kate was a little frustrated that he wasn't getting her confusion. He was Alexis's Father, Meredith was her Mother and Kate had no claim on her. "Doesn't it bother you?" She was looking up at him and could see the confused look on his face. Maybe she wasn't being clear, "God, I love her as if I was her Mother, so when she said it, I didn't correct her."

The more she talked the more confused Castle became. "Why would you correct her? She didn't say anything wrong. I mean, you said you love her and we all know she adores you. I don't see the issue." As he spoke Kate slid herself up in the bed to sit next to him. He instinctively pulled her to his side with an arm around her shoulders.

"I... Uh... I don't know, I just felt like you would be upset?" She stuck out her lower lip and the little breath she exhaled caused her hair to flutter a bit. He clearly wasn't understanding her.

"Upset that my perfect teenaged daughter is as in love with my perfect girlfriend as I am? Am I missing something?" He raised his eyebrow at her as he gave her a peck on the cheek.

"I'm not her Mother. As much as I don't understand or condone the way Meredith treats Alexis, I don't have the right to try to take her place. I didn't mean to." Kate shook her head and looked at Castle very apologeticly. Castle just looked at her and the exploded into laughter. Kate punched him in the side, "It's not funny, why are you laughing?" She sounded a bit like a spoiled child.

Castle tried to contain his laughter, "It's funny, how your minds complicate's things." He saw the glare in her eyes and put his hands up in a surrender pose. "Officer, don't shoot!" That joke just made the glare worse, especially since, only a month earlier, she had done just that. Castle tried to be serious. "Look it's just that in the last two months you have been more of a Mother to her than Meredith has in sixteen years. In that same amount of time Alexis has gone from confiding in me to confiding in you. You're there when she wakes up and you kiss her goodnight. You help her with her homework and take her shopping. You tell her you love her more times in one day that Meredith does in a year. Seriously, where is Meredith in all that? Exactly where she has always been, nowhere to be seen. Look, you aren't replacing her Mother, because that would require that she had a Mother in the first place. At best, Meredith is like the long-distance aunt that shows up every once in a while and shows you a good time, but when push comes to shove isn't anywhere to be found when it counts." Castle squared his shoulders with her and cupped her face in his hands. He needed her to understand his sincerity, "You know, I always thought Alexis was fine, she had me and that was all she needed. Recently I realized I was way off base. Now when I see her with you I see all the things she missed by not having a Mother. I see the hole you filled in her life and for that I am eternally grateful." Castle finished his impromtu speech with his lips mere inches from hers and then brushed his lips over hers.

"You know, she fills a hole in my heart too. She helps me remember my Mother." Kate placed her hands over his on her cheeks. "I find myself saying things to Alexis that my Mom said to me. In the past that would have been painful, but with her it just feels right."

Castle pulled her head in to lean on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and scooted them both down in the bed. He swung his hand to the bedside table and touched out the light. In his most seductive voice he said, "I can help you do something else that just feels right." He ran his hand down her back and rested it on her rear-end and gave a playful squeeze.

Kate rolled her eyes, but she knew with the darkness he had not seen it. "Seriously Castle, did you just use my Mother and your Daughter as a segue to sex?"

"You didn't give me much to work with, Detective." He leaned in and licked her neck. She shuddered against him and wrapped her arms behind his head, running her fingers through his hair.

"I've never known you to need any help." She sucked his earlobe into her mouth and bit down slightly.

He returned the favor and nipped at her collarbone. "Oh, I don't. I can handle you all on my own." He rolled her over on her back and she ground into his thigh as it slipped in between her legs. He nudged her nose with his, "So Rumpelstiltskin, since you have, in effect, taken my first born, how about we work on a second, so I can have somebody to play with?"

Kate's eyes flew open and the squeal that broke from her throat was cut off by his mouth. She was still speechless and her heart raced as he pulled back from the searing kiss and whispered in her ear, _"__Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit." _His tongue again took possession of hers as his hands took possession of her most intimate anatomy, she had no desire to form the answer to his riddle, but she knew, as her vision went blurry, she would never be able to watch reruns of the Cosby Show again.

******xxxxxxxxxx**

**So, only one reviewer has commented on the little game of Quotations between Castle and Kate. I got the idea from _The Final Nail. _Beckett quoted Fitzgerald and Castle quoted Hemmingway. I hope everyone likes it. And don't worry, I'm not having them jump into the Baby discussion yet. We all know Castle gets ahead of himself...**


	21. Chapter 21

**OMG, I assume you all loved "To Love and Die in LA" as much as I did?**

**Also Alexi Hawley was kind enough to answer some questions via twitter after and he answered two of mine. Well, he actually declined to answer the one about Josh, but it took him two tweets to answer my other question. It was pretty cool. I am surprised that he only has around 500 followers. Hopefully, if he keeps writing great eps like that one, he will get more.**

**I am surprised at all the new readers to my story. To you new comers, thanks for being willing to tread your way through it. I actually stopped and re-read it from the beginning the other day. It takes up quite a chunk of time.**

**Lotsa fluff**

**I don't own them**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"Morning Alexis, looks like you and I are on our own today." Kate gave the teen a squeeze on the shoulder as she passed by her on the way to the small kitchen of their hotel suite.

Alexis looked up from the book she was reading. "What, did the Energizer Bunny finally run out of steam? Or, I guess it would be charge, wouldn't it?"

Kate smiled at the nickname the youngster used for her father. It was so appropriate. They had only been in LA for three days and had already been to Disney Land, a Dodgers game, Mann's Chinese Theater, The Hollywood Walk of Fame, The Hollywood Sign, and Santa Monica Pier. Not to mention about ten different restaurants where they ate more food than Kate would normally eat in a week. Of course with all the walking they were doing she didn't have to worry about putting on a pound. Castle hadn't stopped once; he was literally a forty year old on a sugar rush.

"Sort of, I think he has food poisoning, or maybe the cotton candy was just the last straw and his stomach decided to revolt."

Alexis cringed and laughed at the same time. "Do you think we should still go out? I hate to leave him here alone if he's sick."

"Yeah, I think he wants us to go. I don't know that he was really looking forward to a day of shopping anyway. It was the only thing we wanted to do that he didn't."

"True, I'll go jump in the shower, I should be ready to go in about thirty minutes." Alexis could see that Kate was already dressed so she figured she should follow suit. She was always excited to go shopping alone with Kate. It was hard to buy clothes with her dad present, he still thought of her as his little girl; therefore his choice of clothing for her was a little juvenile.

Kate filled a cup with coffee for herself and poured some ginger ale for Castle. She returned to the bedroom to find him sitting on the side of the bed; elbows on his knees with his head hanging in his hands. He was a shade of green not often seen on a human face. "Here you go, babe. Maybe this will help settle your stomach." Kate wasn't usually one to use a term of endearment with anyone other than Alexis, but he looked so pitiful that is just slipped out. She sat next to him as he drank; rubbing his back to let him know she sympathized. He had been up and down all night running to the bathroom.

"Thank you," he sat the glass on the nightstand after a few sips and laid back down on the bed, all the while holding his stomach with his free hand. "Are you girls ready to leave?"

Kate pulled the covers up over him and sort of tucked him in like one would a child. "In a bit, unless you want us to stay." She sat next to him and rubbed his hair from his forehead. Kate was relieved that he didn't seem to have a fever.

Castle didn't open his eyes, "No, I don't want you to see me like this any longer than you have to." He pouted and stuck his bottom lip out. He was clearly fishing for more sympathy.

Feeling sorry for him, she played along, "Hey, in sickness and in health, right?" She knew as soon as she said it that she could have chosen a better phrase.

His eyes shot open and he searched her face for a moment, he could tell she had not said it in jest. It may have been a slip of the tongue, but nonetheless, she was serious. "Not yet my dear, but we aren't too far from Las Vegas, we could make it official pretty quickly." Castle acted as though he was going to try to get up.

Kate put her hands to his chest and pushed him back down on the bed. "Not so fast you _Big Hunk o'Love, _I am NOT getting married in Vegas._"_

Despite the onset of nausea that hit him suddenly as he fell back onto the bed, Castle smiled for so many reasons. She had not only made an Elvis reference, but she hadn't shied away from the marriage subject, just the Vegas part. Obviously they both knew marriage was the next step, but they hadn't ever really discussed a timeframe. He was ready now but didn't want to rush her. "Oh, so you think I'm a hunk?"

Kate rolled her eyes, "_Help Me."_

_"Don't Be Cruel" _Castle couldn't help himself, _"I Feel So Bad." _

Kate marveled at his quick wit despite how sick he obviously felt. She put her hand on his face and rubbed the ridge of his cheekbone with her thumb, _"Poor Baby."_

He smiled and rubbed her leg as it rested on the bed next to his hip, _"Long Legged Girl_ I'm a _Puppet on a String." _He could do this all day.

Kate chuckled but gave him a look that said he should be resting not reciting Elvis song titles, _"A Little Less Conversation."_

He couldn't resist that one, _"A lot more action?" _He raised an eyebrow in hopes that he would actually get some of what he was asking for.

Kate was tempted but thought twice about it, she was sure he hadn't brushed his teeth, which normally wouldn't matter, but he had been vomiting much of the night. "Richard Castle, you're nothing but a _Hound Dog!"_

"Oh Katherine Beckett, your rejection, _It_ _Hurts Me _at least _Kiss Me Quick." _When she shook her head he whined, "This just turned into _Heartbreak Hotel." _

She did feel a little bad for him and for herself. She couldn't remember the last time they had started the day without at least a good morning kiss. She gave in slightly and kissed him on the cheek then laid her head on his chest, _"I Want You, I Need You, I Love You."_

The teasing tone had left her voice and his heart fluttered at her words. It didn't matter how many times she said it, those words were music to his ears. Every day with her was more amazing than the day before, even though he felt terrible; he felt wonderful at the same time. He let his arms rest on her back. He would let her stay there forever, but finally she sat up, "Alexis is probably about ready, we really should get going." Kate stood and walked across the room to put on her shoes.

"Hey Kate, can you hand me my wallet, it's on top of my suitcase?" Castle pointed at the luggage sitting a few feet from her. She retrieved what he asked for and walked back to the side of the bed. As he watched her, she could tell he had something to say and she was most likely not going to like it. He sat up and opened the wallet and pulled out a credit card to hand her.

"Seriously Rick? Are we going to have this conversation again?" They had this discussion soon after she moved into the loft. Clearly he didn't need her to contribute to the household and they had already found someone to sublet her apartment; her things were going to be moved to the loft while they were out of town. Obviously he insisted on paying for the whole trip to LA. So Kate, finding herself without expenses insisted that she would at least pay for her own personal items. In her mind, that included a day of shopping on Rodeo Drive.

"Kate, just take it. You know I think the whole thing is silly, but it isn't worth arguing with you over. However, I do not expect you to pay for Alexis." He just continued to hold the card out to her.

"Fine, for Alexis." Kate glanced down at the Gold Amex and just about choked as she read the name imprinted on it. "Castle!"

"Remember, I'm sick." His words were joking, but his tone was serious. He had known when he ordered the card with her name on it that a fight would ensue, but he did it anyway. He meant it when he told her that what was his was hers. Maybe it was old fashioned, but he didn't care. "Look, if it makes you feel better, we can both close all our accounts and open new joint ones. That way there is no way to tell where my money stops and yours starts."

Kate flopped down on the bed facing him and let out an odd chuckle. "Trust me Castle, I have a feeling mine wouldn't even be a drop in the bucket compared to yours."

He didn't miss a beat, "Well then, let's just consider it all ours and we won't have to waste our time comparing."

Kate bit her bottom lip, "But I never paid you back." She watched his expression as he tried to decipher her meaning. Usually he was quicker about it, but she allowed him extra time considering his weakened state. Finally she knew he had it and she flinched at the flash of anger and hurt in his eyes.

"Seriously! All this time you've been worrying about that?" He was a little perturbed at this point.

"It was $100,000 Rick! How could I not worry about it?" She felt her voice crack a bit as she remembered the day he had gladly given the large amount of money in hopes of finding her mother's killer.

He was frustrated with her and the situation_, "__Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have."_ He knew she wasn't in the mood for more games, but this time it was more about stating the truth than engaging her in banter. He continued without letting her answer, "If you think about it, between the books and the movie rights, I made millions with the Nikki Heat series and without you that wouldn't have even been possible. So, consider it royalties. Now, please can we just drop the subject?" He realized his tone was too harsh, he had only ever once raised his voice with her, and that was during a case, the Damien Westlake case. He took a deep breath and took her hand in his. "For richer for poorer, right?" He hoped the link to her earlier slip of the tongue would ease her anger.

Kate just stared at him; she didn't really know what to say. She wasn't even sure what she could say. She wasn't even sure why she was mad. She wasn't so sure she should be mad. Before she could say anything they heard a knock at the door. Kate turned toward the sound, "Come on in sweetie."

Alexis entered and they both realized instantly that she had heard her father's raised voice. The look on her face and her hunched shoulders gave it away instantly. "Hey, I just wanted to say good morning to Dad before we left."

Alexis reminded Kate of a small child afraid that her parents were about to drop the D-word on her and she was going to have to choose which one she wanted to live with. Suddenly the whole thing just seemed so stupid and Kate felt guilty. She stuck the credit card in her pocket as she stood and walked to Alexis. She cupped the girl's saddened face in her hands. "It was my fault and it was stupid." She wrapped her arms around Alexis's shoulders. It was a testament to the fairytale childhood he had provided her that such a little argument affected her this strongly. "You're dad was right." She smoothed her hand over silky red hair and twisted their upper bodies so she could see Castle's face. "Maybe he could have used a little less volume." She raised her eyebrows in his direction, "But he was right."

From the bed Castle watched as Kate comforted his wounded child. His heart swelled at the sight but before he could say anything the nausea he had been fighting back hit him full force and he jumped from the bed and ran to the bathroom. Luckily Kate had quick reflexes and she buried Alexis's face deeper into her shoulder. The sight of her father streaking naked across the room was not something the teenager needed to see. Once he was out of the room the women began to laugh hysterically.

Alexis yelled toward the bathroom door, "Seriously Dad, since when was this vacation clothing optional?"

Alexis made her way to the end of the bed and sat down. She didn't want to leave without checking on him. Kate finished putting on the shoes she had started to put on earlier. They tried not to listen to the heaving sounds coming from the adjoining room, as in all things; Castle was even dramatic while vomiting. Finally he made his way back into the bedroom. He was pale and clammy looking and he held his stomach as he fell back into bed and pulled the covers up to his chin.

"Do you want us to bring you back anything Dad?"

He just groaned, "Uh-uh."

Alexis kissed her hand and touched his cheek. "Feel better Dad."

In the meantime Kate had finished getting ready and crawled across the bed to say goodbye. She kissed him on the cheek. Again, he didn't seem feverish. "Call us if you need us." She placed his cell phone on the pillow. Then she stood and walked Alexis to the door. As she turned to get one last look at the silly man she loved more than anything, she saw that he was watching them leave.

He smiled and said, _"There Goes My Everything."_

Kate's heart did a little flutter and she wondered if that feeling would ever get old, she couldn't see how it ever could. "Get some sleep Elvis."

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Alexis and Kate sat across from each other at a cute little sidewalk café in the heart of Beverly Hills. They had done quite a bit of damage to the Gold Amex card that had been the subject of much debate this morning. She was glad they had chosen to hire a driver for the day instead of just taking a cab. Once they had stuffed the trunk with shopping bags they decided to stop for lunch before deciding on their next move.

"My feet are killing me." Alexis sighed as she looked over the menu.

Kate was feeling the same way. She was going to suggest they head back to the hotel and change into their swimsuits and spend the afternoon at the beach. Before she could speak her cell phone chimed with the familiar sound that indicated Castle was texting her.

**C: hey beautiful how's the shopping going**

**K: put a serious dent n that gold card of urs**

**C: how quickly the tide turns**

**K: :)) feeling better?**

**C: much better & I'm starving**

**K: just sat down 2 eat want us 2 bring u something**

**C: please**

**K: will do hey u up 2 going 2 the beach**

**C: I'll follow u anywhere**

**K: b there n an hour**

**C: 3**

Kate looked up and saw Alexis staring at her. "What?"

"Nothing, you just had the goofiest grin on your face while you were texting." Kate saw a look of horror cross Alexis's face. "Please tell me he wasn't sexting you?"

"Alexis Castle!" Kate's voice came out in a loud squeak but she quickly lowered it to a more reasonable level. "No he was not! He just wanted us to know he was feeling better and wants something to eat." Kate was blushing at this point.

Alexis laughed at Kate; she didn't know the comment would fluster her so much. "Oh, he's feeling better huh? Sounds like someone was just trying to get out of shopping today."

"Normally I wouldn't put it past him, but believe me I witnessed it personally, he wasn't faking." Kate scrunched up her face at the memory of Castle hunched over the toilet half the night. She had tried to comfort him, but he eventually suggested she at least try to get some sleep even if he couldn't

Alexis laughed, "I guess there's love in that."

Xxxxxxxxxx

A few hours later Kate sat in a lounge chair on the beach reading a book. The weather was perfect, not too hot, but still warm enough to make the water just right for swimming. Castle had rebounded from his earlier ailment and he and Alexis had been jumping waves for the last forty-five minutes. The two of them hadn't been able to spend too much time together alone so Kate had decided to stay back and give them that time. Eventually she finished her book and just watched Castle as he repeatedly tossed Alexis in the surf. She laughed every time Alexis screamed before going under. Kate's eyes wandered up and down the beach, she watched as an elderly couple walk hand in hand. She couldn't help but picture herself and Rick and prayed they one day they would be doing the same thing as they relished in the memories of the life they had made together. She also watched some teenagers playing volleyball before her eyes fell on a couple of young children making sandcastles with the help of their very attentive father.

The little girl had long flowing auburn hair and a few freckles scattered her cheeks. The little blond boy was maybe two years older than his sister and Kate could only guess his age at about five. She watched as the father patiently filled bucket afer bucket with damp sand. Then he would watch with concern in his eyes as the boy turned each loaded bucket over. Kate could tell he was hoping with all his might that each one came out perfect, but even if they didn't he praised the young boy. The little girl spent much of her time knocking over the castles her brother and father had painstakingly erected. At first the boy would yell at his sister and even once threw a small tantrum, but his father would softly remind him that she was just a baby and that she didn't know any better. Having inherited his father's kind nature, eventually he joined the freckled girl as she kicked over his construction, time and time again. They both just giggled and built more so they could knock them down. After awhile, the little girl seem to get tired and she toddled over to her mother sitting under an umbrella a few feet away. She stuck her thumb in her mouth and rested her head on the woman's shoulder. Kate again pictured herself and Rick in the scene. The only difference was that the two little kids in her fantasy had a beautiful red-headed young woman helping them and their father build the castles. She could almost feel an ache as her belly reacted to the desire she had to make that dream come true.

Suddenly she realized that the sun was no longer warming her skin. A shadow had formed over her. She looked up and saw Castle standing over her. He had been watching her as she watched the young family play in the sand. He smiled wildly at her and she knew she had been busted. He reached down and grabbed her by the elbows. He would have grabbed her hands, but her cast made that difficult. He pulled her to his wet body and held her tight.

"Castle!" She squeeled, "You're wet."

He sat down on the towel that was spread next to her loinge chair and pulled her down to sit in his lap. "I missed you."

"Come on, you were only out there for an hour or so." He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her neck.

_"That is what I imagine love to be: incompleteness in absence." _He just squeezed her tighter as he spoke and didn't give her a chance to answer before he nodded towards the children she had been watching. "How many do you want?"

Kate thought about it for a minute. Not to long ago a question like that would have had her running for the hills, but lately she had clearly been thinking about it and he knew it. However, she had never taken time to think about how many. "I'm not really sure." She leaned her head back onto his shoulder and laid her cheek against his. She could feel him smiling and couldn't help but smile back. "How many more do you want?"

"I asked you first."

Kate elbowed him in a no-fair sort of manner but answered him honestly. "I think I would like two or three, but I would be ok if you only wanted one more."

"Why would I only want one more? I'd be thrilled with a dozen."

She ignored the large number, "I just figured you had already done it once so one more time would be enough."

"No way, the first time was so amazing and I did it alone. This time will be so much more spectacular because I will be doing it with my best freind." He nuzzled his nose behind her ear. "I'm surprised you want more than one."

Kate had always known that if she ever had kids she would want more than one. "Eventhough my parents were great, it was lonely being an only child. I would want our kids to have each other to play with."

"Alexis was an only child, she didn't seem too lonely."

Kate turned sideways in his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. She kissed the tip of his nose, "You're forgtting, she had you."

Castle watched her eyes as they went to a far off place. "What?"

"I don't want nannies, but I don't know that I would want to quit my job."

Castle knew what she was asking and there was no hesitation. It would be his privilege to be a stay at home dad like he had been with Alexis. It was one of the many perks of his chosen career. "Kate, I want nothing more than to raise your babies." He gave her a long passionate kiss. The emotion and promise in that kiss stirred both their souls. Finally parting from her he smirked and she could see the twinkle in his eye. "Of course I will also thoroughly enjoy making those babies with you." Once again their lips met.

A familiar young voice rang out behind them, "Oh God, please don't make them out here for all the world to see."

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**Hope you liked it!**


	22. Chapter 22

**This chapter was so hard to write. I hope I did the characters justice. This is a long one, hope you enjoy. **

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"Ready to go guys?" Kate's voice carried across the bullpen to the members of her team.

Detective Ryan answered, "Give me ten minutes." Then he returned to the report he was filling out.

Kate knew if she delved into anything else it would take longer than ten minutes to complete and she had promised her team an early exit. So she just waited patiently. Today had been her first day back to work after eight weeks of sick leave. The cast had come off two weeks prior and physical therapy was going well. Despite the initial predictions from the Orthopedist, her wrist did not require surgery; something she was very grateful for. In the last two weeks she had regained about eighty percent of her normal strength and only required another week of therapy. For now, she was allowed in the field only after a scene had been cleared, which meant she was mostly doing paperwork, but she was happy to be back, nonetheless. The last hurdle would be to regain the ability to fire her weapon without pain. She had gone to the firing range once and quickly realized that she was not yet back to normal. It didn't hurt to pull the trigger, but the recoil sent a shock-wave up her arm that almost knocked her off her feet. Kate rubbed her arm at the memory and couldn't help but laugh at the serious tan line that two weeks in LA and multiple trips to the Hamptons had provided. The now slightly scrawny appendage was pasty white from below the elbow down to the middle joint of her fingers. This was a far contrast from the bronze color that now covered the rest of her body. If asked, she would never admit it, but she had enjoyed the time away from work. Not the injury part, but the time she got to spend with Castle.

She glanced at his chair and felt a twinge of separation. Today had been Kate's first day back, but not Castle's. With the approaching release of the third installment of Nikki Heat he would be in meetings with his Publisher and Agent the rest of the week. Today however, he stayed home to organize the loft. Kate's belongings had been moved from her apartment to his. Most of her big items were in the basement storage area provided to everyone that owned a unit in the building. Theirs being the penthouse meant they had the largest storage area, but it was still not big enough to hold all of the boxes that were now scattered throughout the loft. She had unpacked all her personal items that Castle had happily made room for in their closet and dressers, but everything else was still packed. They had blissfully neglected the chore for the remainder of the summer in exchange for spending almost every minute together traveling or just relaxing. But with the imminent return of Alexis from California the coming weekend the mess could no longer be ignored. In fact, it had gotten so bad that Martha had moved to the apartment attached to her acting school weeks earlier than planned. Kate felt bad for pushing Martha out, but the older woman had told her it was time that she stood on her own two feet again. Then in flamboyant Martha style made a gleeful comment about the young couple's amorous tendencies and her desire to not intrude. True to her word, Martha had since called ahead each time before stopping by.

"Yo Beckett, you ready?" Esposito and Ryan were standing beside her desk; she had gotten lost in thought and hadn't noticed them approach.

She stood, "Yeah, thanks for giving me a lift. I can't believe the car wouldn't start this morning. I should have reminded the Captain to have the guys in the garage check it out before I came back. Two months without use was more than it could handle, I guess." She knew she could have called Castle for a lift home just as he had dropped her off that morning, but didn't want to give him the chance to say _I told you so; _he hated her car.

The three of them entered the elevator, "No problem Boss. We're just glad your back." Ryan touched her shoulder as he spoke.

Kate couldn't help but marvel at how the involvement of Castle in all their lives had changed them. Sure, as a team they had always been close but as recently as two years ago, she wouldn't have called them friends. Now she considered them family. "Thanks guys, and thanks for covering for me while I was out. I know it put a pretty heavy case load in your laps."

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Castle was standing in the lobby of his building. He had spent the day with his decorator, Sarah, and the couple guys she often hired to do the painting and heavy lifting for her clients. She was already gone for the day, but the two guys had stayed behind to help clean up. The three men were in the lobby discussing the last item of the day, Kate's bedroom furniture. It would not fit in the loft at this time, but could be of use later, so he was directing the guys to move it to one corner of the storage area and cover it with tarps.

He was speaking to the two men, nice enough guys but not the caliber of individual he usually found himself dealing with except for maybe when Beckett was arresting them, but he quickly noticed they were no longer paying attention to him. Castle could tell they were watching something over his shoulder. He turned toward the front windows of the building and instantly noticed what had gotten their attention. His first instinct was to knock their heads into next week, but before he could react he was as mesmerized as they were.

As Kate stepped out of the vehicle he took in the length of her slender legs as her feet met the sidewalk separated only by a pair of four inch gray sling back heels. He marveled as she leaned down and spoke into the passenger side window. This angle showed off her perfectly formed backside and he couldn't help but swallow hard. She was wearing a chocolate brown summer suit with thin gray pinstripes. The pants hung low on her hips with the assistance of a leather belt that affirmed just how slender she really was. As she stood and waved goodbye to the occupants of the vehicle she seemed to move in slow motion. The smile that formed across her face as she stopped to speak to Stan, the doorman of their building, almost knocked the wind from his lungs. He watched as she removed her blazer, the heat of the August day apparently playing a part in her actions. The slightly silver and gray form-fitting t-shirt she wore underneath perfectly matched the Louboutins adorning her feet. Castle heard one of the workers behind him speak.

"What law can I break to have her arrest me?"

Clearly they had caught sight of the badge and gun on her hip. Again, Castle was too caught up in the thrill of watching her to object to their objectification of her. He smiled as she threw her head back in laughter at something Stan said. The warmth of her smile almost out shined the blazing sun overhead. He watched the way she draped the recently removed jacket over one arm as she crossed them both in front of her body. Only Castle noticed the slight insecurity the thin pale appendage still caused her. He took in the way she stood with her feet spread father apart than most women. Though her demeanor was relaxed and friendly her stance was obviously that of a police officer ready at a moment's notice. She listened to the elderly man intently and Castle couldn't help but admire how she treated everyone she met with respect. From the criminals she arrested to the man that opened the door for them everyday. As they talked, he could see her glance at herself in the reflective surface of the building's windows and she slipped the band from her hair. He could almost smell her cherry scent as the brown locks fell to her shoulders. She fingered the top of her head and shook the hair out slightly. It was a sight that made his breath momentarily catch in his throat. She was extraordinary.

Finishing her conversation with Stan, she patted him softly on the arm as he held the door open for her to enter through. It only took her a second to spot her partner across the floor of the upscale lobby. The smile already adorning her face widened at the sight of him and her eyes twinkled with excitement. Castle blushed slightly under her gaze as every moment of their life together flooded his mind's eye. He started to walk towards her, but the pleasure he took in watching her approach stopped him in his tracks.

Suddenly he remembered the two men fidgeting next to him. The connection between he and Kate was palpable and upon realizing that the statuesque beauty belonged to the man they had spent the day working for, they quickly became uncomfortable with their previous ogling. Castle had never been the type to show off, but at this moment he held his head a little higher and his chest puffed a bit. He knew what he had and how lucky he was to have it and wasn't ashamed to show her off. When she was a mere few feet from him, Castle turned and gave the uncomfortable men a wink letting them know that he understood their predicament. No man in his right mind could deny the effect she caused just by being present. They both winked back as if to say _you lucky dog _and quickly made their way to the elevator to finish the task at hand.

"Mmmmm," was all she said as she felt his arms wrap around her shoulders. Her arms encircled his ribcage and she laid her head on his shoulder and breathed in the smell of him.

"Missed me did you?" He squeezed her tighter and dropped his chin to kiss her nose as she nuzzled into his neck. The feel of her breath caused the hairs on his neck to stand up. "I feel exactly the same way." He dropped his hands to her hips and slipped his thumb into her belt loop as they walked to the elevators. "How was your first day back? Any cool cases?"

"It was fine. The guys caught an interesting one yesterday, but I just mostly reviewed financials and phone records. Pretty boring."

As they exited the elevator on their floor Castle asked, "So it's true what George Bernard Shaw said?"

Kate laughed, _"__What the world really needs is more love and less paper work." _She stopped walking which caused him to swing around in front of her. She cupped his face in her hands and licked her lips as she pulled his face closer to hers. Her open mouth covered his and she licked his lips begging for admittance, Castle obliged and their tongues danced and tasted. Finally parting when the need for air became paramount she smiled at her lover. "No truer words were ever spoken."

Switching gears Castle slipped behind her and covered her eyes with one hand. "Are you ready?" He turned the doorknob with the other hand and walked forward forcing her to enter their home.

"Come on Castle, you were only supposed to move my stuff into Martha's old room. Please tell me you didn't redecorate the whole place in one day."

After shutting the door behind them and taking her jacket off her arm he lowered his hand from her eyes to her hip and steered her toward the first change. She smiled as she saw her large buddha head statue near the door. She wasn't particularly religious and was definitely not buddhist, she just loved it for the piece of artwork that it was. Castle then steered her toward the living room where she saw the red and black leather chair that used to sit across from the sofa in her old living room. She had never thought about it matching his black leather set, but somehow it worked. She also saw a few of the knick-knacks that had once been on her coffee table now mixed with his scattered throughout the room. She couldn't help but notice the tall white vase in the middle of the dining room table. It was the one she had used when he came to her new, now old, apartment during the Raglin case and brought her flowers. As they worked their way into the kitchen she found the items that matched that vase. She had displayed them on a shelf in her old kitchen and he did the same, only they now sat atop the cabinets. She loved the elegant simplicity of each piece, especially the pitcher. The handle wasn't so much attached to the vessel as much as it was just a part of the whole. She found it funny that her apartment had been rustically decorated with furniture leaning towards mid-century modern, but now the same items took on a distinctly modern feel in keeping with the style of the loft. Next he took her through the dining room to the mantle. This morning there were pictures of Castle and Alexis together, one of Martha and even one of Kate and Rick together that Alexis had taken of them in LA. Now mingled amongst those memories were a few pictures of Kate and one of her with her Mom and Dad at her high school graduation. She fingered the frames for a few seconds before she reached back and stroked Castle's cheek as if to say thank you. He kissed her neck to convey his response.

Next they made their way to the study but Kate stopped before they entered, "No Rick, you didn't need to change anything in here. This is your place of work, that woud be like me changing something at the precinct for you."

"But you did." He saw her eyebrows lift. "I have my chair and you let my nesting dolls live next to your elephants."

She didn't argue she could tell he had worked hard to make sure she felt like this was her home as well as his. She nodded and they entered the study together. He had shifted his desk to the left side of the room with hers directly across from his. The styles most definitely did not match. His was the typical man's desk with cherry stained wood and little detail. Her's was darker in color and stood on four very ornate legs that had been carefully hand turned in a lathe to achieve the spiral effect she liked. The sides were almost Gothic in style with hand carved details encasing it. However somehow, much like Castle and Kate, they complimented each other. She noticed that he had moved his large piece of artwork so that it still hung directly behind his desk. The overhead view of a spiral staircase and the way it framed him when he worked had always intrigued her. She turned to see that he had hung her favorite piece behind her desk. She laughed because as different as it was from his; a purple cloaked individual seemingly falling from a building top, it was still similar in that it was from the same overhead view. It was just another example of how different yet how similar they were. Her computer had been set up and everything that had been on the desk when it sat in her old apartment was on it now. Every detail the same even down to the three giant chain links that served no purpose but to make her smile.

Finally he spoke, "Do you like it?" She could tell he was nervous. He pointed to the ceiling, "I had a drop down screen installed, that way you can take pictures of your murder boards and then project them on the screen. I figured it would be the only way I could convince you to come home during a tough case. No more sleeping on the couch in the breakroom." He again held her from behind. "I don't think we could both fit on it and I'm not sleeping without you ever again."

She turned in his arms and planted a kiss on his nose, "I love it but what did you do in Martha's old room? Most of my stuff is down here?"

Castle's eyes twinkled, "Now there is the big surprise." He turned and started for the door. When she didn't follow immediately he turned, "You coming?"

He was right the room was no longer recognizable as the bedroom it had been for many years. Kate couldn't believe her eyes. It had been painted a calm cream color and had been filled with all of her things. She saw her grey tweed couch complete with the brightly colored throw pillows she spent many a night sleeping on when she was too exhausted to make her way to her room. Her coffee table and end tables were there. The latter held her retro style white lamps with their grey shades that match the couch. Her dining table was in the corner but was set up more like a desk. He could see she was questioning the reason for its placement.

"See, it has all the stuff from your Mother's case on it." She saw the box that held all the personal items she and Castle had gone through a few months earlier. "We can figure out some sort of murder board but I would like it to be contained somehow. I don't really want Alexis to see it." Kate nodded in understanding. "I didn't put it downstairs in the study because I know it isn't something you need to look at all the time."

Finally Kate walked to the other side of the room where the most beautiful set of bookcases had been installed. Everyone of her books were there. Some of the more unique ones were displayed and shared space with more pictures of her Mom and Dad. He had also placed pictures of Alexis and himself around the room. Some of them were from years before she had ever met them but they were similar to many of the shots of Kate and her father at coinciding times of their lives.

"If you ever just need to get away and be alone you can come up here. I promise, I won't bother you. So much has changed for you in such a short time and to my surprise with much less kicking and screaming than I would have guessed. " She gave him a little smack on the chest, but didn't argue. "I don't want you to ever feel like you have lost something of yourself."

Kate wrapped him in her arms, _"__In love the paradox occurs that two beings become one and yet remain two." _She kissed his neck and he held her to his body. "Thank you for the thoughtfulness, It's perfect. I will use it only if you know that I will not be running from you when I do." Before he could answer she noticed a few of her favorite pictures were missing. "Rick, where is the picture of my Mom and Dad's wedding?"

He cut her off with a finger to the lips, "Ah my dear, we haven't yet been to our bedroom yet."

"Oh no, there is no way I'm leaving that one in there, unless you plan on never having sex again."

Castle gulped in shock, "Consider it moved."

He ran from the room faster than she had ever seen him move before. While he was gone she once again looked around the room. She noticed that she now had a complete set of Richard Castle books. She was only missing a few but he had apparently filled in the missing volumes. She also noticed an empty picture frame. She didn't recognize it as one of hers. She removed it from the shelf and placed it on the coffee table before she sat on her couch. She wanted to enjoy the familiar feeling of it beneath her. She wondered what was taking him so long. She imagined him gathering up every picture of her parents to place them in this room, afraid that they could never have sex anywhere she might see her parents' faces. Finally he appeared and he was only holding the wedding picture she had mentioned and a book. He placed the picture on the bookshelf and grabbed a book from the shelf that held her collection of his books. He sat next to her on the couch.

Kate's stomach dropped, she had never told him about the time she stood in line to get his autograph, but he was now holding the evidence in his hands. She had been twenty-one and had just graduated from college. She didn't know where she was going from there but the Police Academy was an option that she was seriously considering. The words he wrote in that book helped her make the decision that would effect the rest of her life. Even then he could read her like a book. Maybe he hadn't noticed it while he was moving her things in. If he had, she hoped he hadn't noticed that it was the most worn of all the books she owned. She had read his inscription many times over the years after her Mother died. Even more in the few years since he had stormed into her life. She decided to try to distract him so she pointed to the empty frame she had placed on the table in his absence. "What is that? I don't recognize it."

He just smiled widely, "That is for our wedding photo." He then placed the two books on the coffee table next to the frame and took her hands in his. For a second Kate thought the room was spinning. She began to breathe heavy. Castle began to speak, "Kate, I need to ask you something."

Her eyes shifted between his eyes and the two books on the table. She knew what was coming. She had wondered when he was going to do it, but now that it was here she was completely overwhelmed. "Castle... Rick... You don't have to do this. We haven't really talked about..."

He cut her off, "I wrote the dedication to _Heat Rises _a few months ago." He reached for one of the books but didn't open it. "I had it all planned out. It was going to be big. The book would come out and we would have this huge release party and then I was going to hand you the book and get down on one knee." Kate swallowed hard, "But today, I was unpacking your things and I came across this and realized that like everything else that matters in my life; Alexis and you, the best things are unplanned." He opened her copy of _In a Hail of Bullets _and ran his fingers over the writing that was so uniquely his. He read it aloud as he rubbed his other hand along her knee and took her shaking hand in his.

"_To Kate,_

_May someday the sadness in those beautiful eyes find a purpose that will lead to hope that will in time allow you to find happiness._

_Your Favorite Writer,_

_Richard Castle"_

Kate wanted to speak, "Rick.."

Again he placed his finger on her lips."Shhh." He reached and picked up the other book, it was a copy of the not yet released _Heat Rises, _"Read the dedication." He handed her the book.

Kate could barely hold the book still, let alone read the tiny words on the page as he helped her turn to it. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Tears had already begun to drip down her face and she could tell it would be awhile before they stopped. She wasn't sure what she had expected his proposal to be, she knew it would be memorable, but this was so much more. Finally she opened her eyes and smiled up at his beautiful face.

Castle watched as she pulled herself together, he knew she expected his proposal to be big and embarrassing, but he had never intended it to be that. He had planned to wait until the night of the book release party, but he would of course fulfill her desire for it to be intimate. However when he came across the inscription he had written in her book at least ten years earlier, his plans changed. When she finally opened her eyes and smiled that enchanting smile at him, he knew he had her.

Her voice was soft and quivered as she read the dedication. _"To my muse, my best friend, my partner in crime as well as in life. You fill the pages of my life with words too extraordinary to write." _She held back a sob as she finished reading. She watched as he got down on one knee in front of her.

"Turn the page."

She did as he asked and she saw that he had inscribed this book as well and the words echoed the words he read moments ago. She again read aloud.

_"To My Dearest Kate,_

_As I gaze into your eyes all sadness is turned to hope; for I have found my purpose which is to provide you with happiness._

_Your One and Done,_

_Rick"_

She hadn't noticed but while she was reading he had pulled a ring box out of his pocket. He took the book from her hand and opened the box, "Katherine Beckett, will you continue to make me the happiest, luckiest and craziest in love man on earth and become my wife.?"

He slipped the ring on her finger before she even answered. She pulled on his arms begging him to sit on the couch. He followed her lead and pulled her into his lap as he sat. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him with an intensity he had never felt before. Before he allowed himself to get too caught up in the heaven she was providing, he pulled back and stilled her head as she tried to devour his lips. "Uh Kate, is that a yes?"

She laughed in the most husky sexy way he had ever heard and his whole body reacted. She leaned in and bit his ear and sucked on his neck. Finally she shifted in his arms and straddled his lap and as she began to unbutton his shirt she finally slowed and looked into his darkened eyes. Before she completely devoured him and did, in front of her parents wedding picture, what she said she would never do, she whispered one word, "Always."

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**OK, I could end this story here and do a sequel to include the wedding, but I think I may lose readers. What do you all think works best?**


	23. Chapter 23

**Ok, I got so many answers to my question about continuing or doing a sequel, and continuing it is. So many more people said to just keep going, so I will. I guess if Googie can write a great story that is topping out at over 50 chapters then maybe so can I.**

**This is a short one, but I wanted to get it out before I lost any readers that may have thought I was done after the last one.**

**This one is for _Clois is Conan_ who said, and I quote _"a very real conversation that needs to be had concerning her mother's murder and finding some resolution to that before she can truly move forward." _I don't agree that there needs to be a resolution for many reasons. 1) I could never come up with a story as good as Andrew Marlowe to explain the murder of Johanna Beckett and 2) I don't really think Kate needs resolution to move forward, in fact just the opposite because resolution is never guaranteed therefore she would never be able to move on. I think the whole point of this love story is that Castle is the one and only person that can help her to live through it, not past it or around it. Hope that makes sense. But, I hope this chapter takes care of some of that for anyone who feels as Clois does. It's not a conversation between Castle and Kate however.**

**Oh and I know the chapter number is messed up, but the site is acting up so I had to improvise to get this out. I will fix it later...**

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"Did Kate have to work today?" Alexis asked her dad as they entered the loft. She dropped her luggage just inside the door and ran into the living room to plop down on the familiar couch. She was so glad to be home.

"No, she said she had something to take care of. She should be home soon. She isn't back in the rotation yet, mostly just doing paperwork for another week or so." Castle sat down next to his daughter and gave her a hug. It had to be at least the tenth hug he'd given her since picking her up at the airport an hour earlier.

Alexis looked around the room and noticed the new additions to the décor. "Her stuff looks nice in here, just sort of fits in."

"Yep, just like she does." Castle couldn't have written a better segue into the conversation he needed to have with the teenager. He and Kate had decided he should be the one to tell Alexis about their engagement. They were both sure she would be ecstatic, but the worried father in him wanted to be able to ease any concerns Alexis may have about being pushed aside. Castle shifted on the couch to face his daughter and took her by the hands. She mirrored his action so they were now facing one another. "Can we talk for a second, Kiddo?"

Alexis's face went from giddy to somber in a half second. "What's wrong Dad? Where is Kate? She really is just out, right?"

"Whoa, slow down girl. Maybe you should consider a career with Nascar. You just went from zero to sixty in like two seconds." He laughed but cleared his throat to become serious as she gave him the raised eyebrow that she'd perfected over many years of dealing with him. "No really, everything's fine. In fact it's better than fine." He could see the wheels turning as Alexis's eyes began to twinkle and a smile slowly took over her beautiful features.

"Oh my god, oh my god!" Alexis was bouncing up and down, "You proposed didn't you?" Before he could confirm or deny she squealed at the top of her lungs and grabbed his neck in a tight hug. "Where is she? Can I call her? I want to see the ring!"

"Thank you, yes I am very excited." Castle's sarcasm and flat tone snapped her out of it.

"Oh Dad, I'm sorry. I'm so happy for you." She gave him another hug and added a kiss on the cheek. "It's just…"

"I know it's a girl thing. I guess we should have told you together, I just thought maybe you would have questions that you might not feel comfortable asking in front of her." Castle was hoping for at least one question. He wasn't jealous of the relationship between his daughter and her soon-to-be stepmother, but she could at least pretend for his sake that she still needed him.

Alexis was confused. Why would she not feel comfortable in front of Kate? She quickly realized that he feared she would feel pushed aside. She also realized that it was her that had been doing the pushing, not him. So, she decided to give in a little. "I do have one request."

Castle's eyes perked up, "Anything."

"Promise, even after I'm grown that you won't get rid of my bedroom. There may be times that I'll just want to come home and remember the feeling of being your first little girl."

Castle's eyes filled with tears and he hugged her tighter than he had in a long time. "I promise."

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"Hey Mom." Kate knelt down and pulled a few weeds that had begun to sprout around her mother's headstone. "I'm sorry it's been a while since I visited." Kate couldn't really remember the last time she had been to Johanna Beckett's grave. She did remember telling herself that she wouldn't be back until she solved her mother's murder, but something more important had come up. "Mom, something has happened and I need to tell you about it." Of course Kate knew that she could have spoken to her mother from anywhere, that it didn't require a trip to the cemetery, but somehow it felt like the right thing to do, the right place to be. "I finally found it, Mom. Or rather, I finally found him."

She slipped off her knees and crossed her legs as she sat in the grass. She had a feeling this would be a long one. "I haven't given up on finding out who took you from us, but I know that isn't important to you. I'm sure you already know the answers to _who _and _why_, even though I only know some of the _why _at this point." Kate fiddled with the ring around her neck. "I'm here to tell you about the love of my life." Kate had to laugh at herself. If she believed that her mother could see the truth about her own murder from wherever she was, then she had to assume the same could be said about her knowledge of Castle. But, when Johanna Beckett was alive her daughter shared everything with her. It had been along time since she had done that, so there was a lot to catch up on.

"After you died I asked Dad for some of your personal things and for some reason he included a book you had been reading at the time of your death. One day I picked it up, I just wanted to feel closer to you. I had been so lost since your death." Kate thought back to that day and took in a long breath so she wouldn't fall apart. "I read it in one sitting. I didn't eat or sleep until I had absorbed every word. The story wasn't relevant really, but knowing I was reading the same words that you had recently read just made me feel better somehow. Anyway, I couldn't get enough, so I read almost every other book already written by the same author and have read every one since." Kate smiled as she remembered bringing home the stack of Richard Castle novels and pouring through them. "You know what happened next? Somehow his voice became your voice. I imagined you reading his books to me like you had read to me when I was a little girl. For awhile it was the only time I could hear you at all." A tear ran down her cheek. "Then one day he walked into my life. The flesh and blood Richard Castle stood in front of me, and my perfectly constructed world of solitude crumbled." She watched as a butterfly landed on a flower a few feet away. When it finally flew off she continued to speak. "All the fantasies I had made up in my mind about him flew out the window. He seemed so crass and childish and annoying. Oh Mom, he made my blood boil." She could almost hear her mother talking to her at this point and she answered. "I know, it was the first time I had actually felt anything besides despair in years, but I couldn't see that at the time." She pulled a tissue from her pocket and blew her nose before continuing. "All I could see was that he was ruining the one thing that was strictly your's and mine." Kate knew how stupid that sounded, they were his books after all, but to her it made sense.

"So, of course I did what I always do. I pushed him away and I froze him out. But instead of leaving like everyone else eventually did, he pushed back and chiseled away at the ice. He stood next to me when I felt alone and he stood behind me when I needed support and he even stood in front of me when ever I was about to jump of the cliff." Kate looked around at the lush cemetery and breathed in the smell of Jasmine that someone had placed on a nearby grave. "Over time I realized he wasn't the things I first thought when I met him." She paused, "Well he was exactly all those things, but he was so much more. Oh Mom, he is everything I could have ever wanted but was too afraid to hope for. Hopes were for other people. People that didn't have a murdered mother and a recovering father. Hopes were for School Teachers and Mystery Writers not Homicide Detectives."

She waited for an elderly man to park his vehicle and walk off deeper into the cemetery before continuing, but she switched gears knowing she could go on and on. "I wish you could have met him and his amazing little girl. They've given me back a reason to live." She breathed in a few ragged breaths trying not to completely fall apart and wiped her nose again. "They make me so happy. There was a time I would have hated myself for saying that. How could I ever be happy again without you?" She was sobbing at this point, "But then I realized that the best way to honor you is by being happy. That was the only thing you ever wanted for me." She reached forward and ran her fingers along the contours of her mother's name. "So, you don't have to worry about me anymore."

She stood with only one last thing to say. "I can't promise I won't cry at the thought of your favorite song, I can't promise that I won't curl up in a ball every year on your birthday, I can't promise that I won't wish you were there with me on my wedding day or when I give birth to your grandchildren. But, I can promise I won't be alone for any of it. You left me in good hands. Thank you, Mom and I love you."


	24. Chapter 24

**Let me just say, the reviews, holy cow! They seem to be pouring in after that last chapter. I know, I missed a chance by not posting it a day earlier on Mother's Day, but it was close…**

**Kate and Alexis bonding time again, but on a more serious level. I hope this will be the conversation I have with my kids when they are old enough to ask.**

**They say possession is nine tenths of the law, well, I would gladly settle for ownership one tenth of the time.**

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"Are you sure I can have this one, it still has the tags attached?"

Alexis was standing in the middle of the enormous walk-in closet that her dad now shared with his fiancé. She held a dark blue leather jacket in front of her torso. She and Kate had been shopping all morning. School would be starting soon; it was as good of an excuse as any. When they returned to the loft with arms full of shopping bags they quickly realized that it was time to do some purging. They spent about an hour in Alexis's closet and had amassed a pretty large pile of clothes to donate to charity. After a quick lunch with Castle they returned to their chore while he resigned to his study to do some writing.

Kate nodded her permission, "Yes, I have another one just like it. I bought that one last year after my apartment blew up. I didn't realize until later that the original one was in my locker at work, so I never ended up needing that one." Kate looked around the room; it was as big as many bedrooms in Manhattan. She couldn't believe she had acquired this much stuff in just over a year and a half since the explosion. Normally she wouldn't get rid of things this quickly but it seemed that since getting together with Castle her wardrobe had multiplied exponentially. In fact, when she moved in, her things only took up about one third of the closet. Now her belongings were encroaching on his half. With any other man, that wouldn't have been an issue, but Richard Castle loved his clothes and shoes and ties and so on….

Having gone through all the hanging items Alexis took a seat in the middle of the clothing scattered on the floor. They had sorted the discarded items into three piles. One for charity, one for trash, that was the smallest since Kate's stuff was all pretty new, and finally a pile for Alexis to keep. Alexis began to fold the items she had selected for herself. They were mostly shirts; Kate being so much taller than the teenager did not allow for many hand-me-downs in the pants department. While she worked, Kate hung up the new items she bought on their most recent outing. Finally finishing the folding, Alexis turned to one of the many drawers of the built in unit.

"Hey Kate, do we need to go through these?" Her hand was already touching the knob of the drawer closest to the floor.

Out of the corner of her eye Kate saw what Alexis was doing, "No!" Alexis jumped and pulled her hand back. "I mean.. Sorry, no we don't need to go through the drawers." Kate tried to hide the embarrassment. It was bad enough that the young girl had helped her sort through her robes, night gowns and even a few negligees, and to Alexis's credit she had done so in silence and hadn't added to the awkwardness that Kate felt. However, the items in that drawer were not intended for young innocent eyes to see.

It only took Alexis about two seconds to figure out the situation and the color in her cheeks quickly mirrored the color on Kate's face. They stared at each other in uncomfortable silence until the elder woman cracked a huge smile and they both broke out in uncontrollable laughter. Kate doubled over and soon joined Alexis on the floor. When they finally pulled themselves back together, Alexis grew quiet and began to fiddle with the shirt she had just finished folding.

"How do you know when it's the right time?" Alexis dropped her gaze to the floor.

For a split second only two words came to Kate's mind, _'oh crap!' _This couldn't be happening. Surely someone had talked to Alexis about the 'Birds and the Bees.' Kate had to take a few cleansing breaths to slow down the spinning in her head. She told herself that of course someone had, Alexis wasn't asking where babies came from for goodness sake. Kate's first instinct was to run out of the closet, no, the loft and not come back until Alexis was thirty-five. Her second was to tell the girl that she didn't think she was the appropriate one to hand out advice. However, upon considering where either of those responses would leave Alexis, the second option flew out the window faster than the first. She pictured Meredith practically pushing her daughter into the arms of any pimply-faced teenager willing to put out. Then she pictured just the opposite; Rick fitting his daughter with an iron-clad chastity belt and then in typical Castle fashion, accidentally loosing the key. It didn't take a Detective to figure out why she was the one Alexis had come to for advice. If she was going to do this right, her third instinct wouldn't work either. She couldn't be hypocritical and advise her to wait until marriage. They both knew the likelihood of that happening was slim-to-none. So, she figured a few questions were in order before she could offer any words of wisdom.

"Is Ashley pressuring you?"

Alexis finally lifted her head and looked at Kate. She seemed relieved in her choice of confidants. "No, just the opposite. He says we should wait, but I'm not sure if he means it or if it's just his way of broaching the subject in hopes…."

"What _have_ the two of you done?" Kate squinted as if the answer to her question might hurt to hear.

"Pretty much only kissed."

Kate raised an eyebrow, but she believed the girl was being truthful, "Pretty much?"

Alexis blushed a little more and a slight smile hinted at the corners of her mouth, "He's a really good kisser."

Kate took that to mean that more than just the lips were involved, but not much more, and relaxed a bit in relief. She decided to face it full on. In the back of her mind she prayed they would not fall victim to Rick's awful timing. She knew this conversation could take some time and go places he didn't need to hear. She also knew this was one conversation that she would have to share with him; he was her father.

"Alexis, I can't promise that the entirety of this conversation will be kept in confidence. I've made promises to him that I will not break." Kate didn't have to elaborate as to who the _him_ referred to. "I can promise that I will only tell him that we've talked, as long as I know you are ok and are being safe." She lifted the girl's chin with her index finger, "Can you live with those terms?" As much as Kate didn't really want to have the conversation, she hoped Alexis would not turn away now.

Alexis nodded, "Yes."

When she didn't say anything else Kate took the bull by the horns, "Do you have any specific questions you want to ask?" As the blush on Alexis's face grew redder and spread down to her chest Kate knew this was going to be harder than she thought. "How 'bout I tell you what I think based on my experience? If you have a question just let me know." The girl nodded.

Kate just jumped in, "Sex intensifies the feelings that already exist between a man and a woman. So above anything else, you need to at least wait until there is mutual respect." Alexis looked surprised and Kate knew the teen had expected her to say love, not respect. "Believe me I wish you would wait until you know it's love, but that seems so _pie in the sky _don't you think?" Alexis grinned and nodded in agreement. "Let me put it another way. If you're in a relationship and you're insecure or unsure about the way he feels about you, becoming intimate will only magnify those negative feelings. Or if you go into it with an agenda, like keeping him from breaking up with you or something similar then it isn't the right time either." Kate let out a small sigh, she wasn't so sure she was making any sense. "Intimacy is a form of communication, it's not _just _about feeling good. It can say I love you,I'm here for you, I'm sorry or even you're safe with me. So, if you aren't comfortable saying all or any of those things using words, then saying them with your body would be impossible." Kate paused hoping Alexis would at least give a hint of understanding.

"That makes sense." Alexis continued to fiddle with the clothes in her lap. Kate knew she wasn't finished. "Is it hard?"

Kate chuckled to herself, "I have to admit the first few times are awkward. For me it wasn't like they show in movies, not at first anyway. It gets easier and better but that goes back to my earlier point about communication and respect. You have to be able to tell him what you do and don't like and you have to be willing to listen as he tells you the same. Most importantly you have to be able to set boundaries like when and where and how." Kate wanted Alexis to understand the importance. "Do you understand me?"

Alexis nodded, "Yes, but how do I if I've never done it?"

"Well, it's kind of a _Catch 22 _like that. That's why it is important to take it slow and be sure you've picked someone that you can be open and honest with."

Alexis smiled, "I guess I hadn't really thought about anything but the actual act of doing it. You're right, they romanticize it on TV and movies and it makes a kid think it will be so easy. Yeah, you hear about the consequences like pregnancy or STD's but no one really tells you about the emotional consequences."

Kate was glad to see that Alexis seemed to be taking her words to heart but she had one more very important piece of advice. "Alexis, I need you to know that no matter how many times you may have done it, if for any reason you change your mind or it doesn't feel right and you say no, it needs to stop that second." She raised Alexis face to look at her own. "No matter what, if you say no it means no."

Suddenly everything felt very somber and Kate felt like she may have scared Alexis a bit. "Look Sweetie, I feel like this talk has been a little on the borderline of _scare tactics _here and that is not how it should be." She paused and took Alexis in her arms practically pulling her into her lap. She knew she couldn't look into those blue eyes and say what she was going to say next. "When you find the right person sex is one of the most wonderful acts you can commit with another person. It's exciting and beautiful and there is no shame or embarrassment." Kate knew she had to relate it to her own experience for the girl to understand. "I have had partners that I respected and partners that I thought I loved and I don't regret any of it. But… And I don't want to gross you out, but what I have with your dad is so much more…" She tried to find the right adjective, "more everything than I have ever had before or ever thought I would find." She pulled back to look at Alexis again "I'm not just talking about the sex. I can say with all honesty that it is because we love and respect each other as individuals. We don't expect the other to be something they aren't and even if the whole world were against him, I'd be on his side and he'd be on mine. That is what I hope and pray you'll find someday."

Alexis leaned in and gave Kate a hug, "Thank you Kate. I tried to have this conversation with my mom and it didn't go very well." Kate stiffened at the thought and Alexis laughed against her chest. "Yeah, it was pretty horrifying and I put and end to it pretty quickly." She pulled back, "I thought about talking to Dad, but somehow it makes me feel like I would be disappointing him somehow."

"Alexis, you could never disappoint your father. The sun rises and sets with you, you know that. You're his little girl but he can't stand the thought of you growing up and leaving him."

There was a long silence and Kate was sure she had said enough and hoped Alexis would think about everything that had been discussed. Finally she asked, "Is there anything else you want to talk about? Maybe about me marrying your dad or anything?"

Alexis again played with the ring hanging from Kate's neck, she did that whenever they were having a heart to heart. Kate couldn't help but remember similar conversations with her mom and she hoped she had made Alexis feel at least half the comfort that her own mother had for her.

"Do you think he will love them more than he does me?" Alexis suddenly transformed from a mature teenager into a scared little girl and at first it confused Kate. She rolled the question around in her head until understanding landed on her brain,

She squeezed the girl tighter, "Alexis, how could you think that? He will love them exactly like he loves you. He couldn't possible love then more and with a heart like his, less would be impossible"

"But I wasn't planned and he had to do it alone."

Kate took Alexis by the arms and looked her directly in the eye as she spoke. "And he loved every minute of it and still does. Half the reason he wants more kids is because he had so much fun raising you."

Alexis laughed, "He is the best father any kid could ask for and I don't want you to think that I would be jealous, but I can't promise I won't be, just a little."

Kate laughed and tugged on a lock of red hair, "Well, you and I can be jealous together because I'm pretty sure my kids will like him better than they will me anyway. It's inevitable, I mean how could I compete?"

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**I hope this felt authentic. I mean, how could Alexis go to anyone but Kate for this conversation?**


	25. Chapter 25

**I got such great response about the previous chapters. So many of you shared your stories of the awkward sex conversation with your mothers so I thought I would share mine. I was 16 and it was the night before my older sister's wedding. My very conservative Christian mother stood up in the kitchen as we arraigned flowers and politely asked me to leave the room because she and my sister needed to have the talk. My sister and I busted out laughing and shook our heads. She said, "No Mother, we don't." That was her first and last attempt. I cringe to even think of what she may have told my younger brother years later. Needless to say, he is 32 years old, single and still lives at home.**

**Now, down to business….**

**I in no way intend for this to turn into a case centric fic, but Kate is in fact a Detective and Castle does indeed help her solve murders, so I can't keep them away from the 12th**** all the time. Don't worry, it will only be two chapters or so.**

**Don't own them because if I did I wouldn't believe in spoilers….**

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Castle raised the yellow tape and held it for Beckett to walk under; then ducked below it himself to follow her onto the crime scene. The alley was still shrouded in shadows, as the rising sun was yet to reach between the towering buildings on either side. The area was a hotspot for the young and artsy. There were clubs for just about every kind of music or art you could think of. This particular alley was behind a jazz club known for supporting the burgeoning careers of young singers. Castle had taken a second to take in the feel of the joint called _Sway_ before he and his partner had crossed the crime scene tape. He couldn't help but feel like it was a place that he might take Kate for a nice evening of food, music and dancing.

"Hey Lanie, what have we got?" Beckett looked down at the body of the dead man sprawled out amongst some garbage and debris that must have blown out of the nearby dumpster. She pulled a pair of latex gloves from her blazer pocket.

Lanie began to spit out the clinical details, "Male John Doe probably between thirty-five and forty. Stabbed multiple times in the torso and abdomen. He has some bruising on his arms and neck. I won't have cause of death until I open him up, but I estimate TOD anywhere between two and four this morning."

"Damn," Both the ME and Castle looked at Beckett as the explicative passed her lips. She was pulling a torn glove from her left hand.

Castle quickly realized what had caused the glove to rip. They had decided she would not wear her engagement ring while at work. The size alone made wearing it during a take down impractical. Wearing it during interrogations could make her and-or-it a target for the nefarious schemes of such slime bags. She had remembered easily the last two mornings and removed it, placing it on the nightstand beside their bed before heading to the precinct. However, in their haste to leave this morning, being her first body-drop since returning to full duty, she had forgotten to leave it behind.

Beckett hastily removed the damaged latex from her hand. She heard a slight gasp escape from Lanie's mouth and saw the wide-eyed expression that accompanied the sound. Kate had not yet told anyone outside of she and Castle's family about the engagement. Castle wanted to get everyone together after work this evening to share the news. Not wanting to share her impending nuptials with her best friend while hovering over a corpse, Kate gave Lanie a slight smile and raised an eyebrow as if to say, _not now. _

"Anything else?" Lanie caught on quickly, but did steal a glance at Castle and gave him a knowing wink. Which he returned in kind "Nope, just that the boys are already canvassing."

"Thanks Lanie, call me once you've got more."

Beckett and Castle both turned to go find Ryan and Esposito. She had removed the ring from her finger but couldn't decide what to do with it. She was wearing what seemed like the only pair of dress slacks she owned that didn't have pockets. Her white tailored blouse was also pocket-free. She thought about her blazer, but was terrified that with the frequency with which she took things in and out of that pocket, things like her cell phone and rubber gloves, she would lose the precious item. Finally she grabbed Castle by the hand. They were about to enter the front door of the jazz club they had parked in front of minutes earlier.

"Please take care of this." She slipped the ring into the front pocket of his jeans using her index finger to push it to the very bottom.

Castle smiled and placed his hand at the small of her back as they stepped into the club. She heard a slight whisper behind her, "Always." That one word and the deeper meaning it held caused a slight shiver to run up her back.

They found the guys at the bar interviewing the staff. The victim was a regular customer, he was there most Tuesday evenings for open mike night. No one really knew his name but he often talked up the young female singers that dared take the stage in hopes of becoming the next big thing. Before the Detectives left the club, the owner had promised to call them as soon as he located the credit card receipt from the previous evening belonging to the victim.

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Around lunchtime Beckett got a call from Lanie, she had finished her preliminary exam and had some info. Castle was reviewing video feed from an ATM camera near the crime scene so she decided not to disturb him.

"Girl!" That was the only word Lanie got out before Beckett interrupted.

"Later Lanie, what about the vic?"

The ME huffed a bit, but got down to business. "Cause of death is exsanguination due to eighteen stab wounds." She pointed to the man's body lying on the table between them.

"In addition he has perimortem bruising on his arms and neck."

"The killer tried to strangle him?"

"No, I'd say the killer way trying to fight him off and got in a few good licks."

Kate pondered the info, "Lanie, eighteen stab wounds is overkill, not self defense?"

"Yeah, seems odd to me too. Oh well, I sent his fingerprints and DNA to the lab. Maybe we will get lucky and one of them will be in the system."

Lanie watched as Beckett headed for the door, "Thanks Lanie, keep me posted."

Before she even made it to the elevator, Beckett heard her cell chime. She laughed as she read the text from her friend.

L: seriously!

B: 2nite us the boys jenny old haunt 8 pm

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By two o'clock the owner of _Sway_ had called and given them the name on the credit card used by the victim. Jackson Cantrell was a thirty-one year old Janitor. According to his DMV photo he was a heavyset man with brown eyes and hair. Considering their John Doe was slightly older thinner and blonde, they had not yet identified their victim. Not willing to chalk it up to something as simple as credit card theft, Ryan and Esposito were out looking for Mr. Cantrell.

"Beckett." The Captain called her name from the open door of his office. When she looked up his head tilted slightly indicating they should join him. She and Castle settled into the chairs across from Montgomery's desk.

"We got a match to the victim's fingerprints?"

Kate was glad to hear the news but was confused as to why the report was sent to the Captain and not her. She was the Lead Detective after all. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see the same confusion on Castle's face. She felt a small twinge of pride; he had learned so much since working with her and most of it was just through observation.

"Great, so we have a name?" Kate leaned forward in the chair.

Montgomery's jaw ticked, "Well no, his prints match those found in four other cases, but there are no suspects."

Castle spoke up, "Great, so our guy is a criminal. What did he do?"

"They're rape cases, Castle."

Beckett let out a small sigh and slouched back in the chair. She could tell there was more.

The Captain continued, "Those four are linked by MO and DNA to fifteen others occurring over the last decade or so. The fingerprints are from the most recent cases."

Castle practically shouted, "This guy has raped at least nineteen women? I say we stop looking for the killer right now. This asshole got what he deserved!"

"Castle, we don't get to pick the vic." Kate kept her eyes on the floor and her voice calm. She felt the same as him, but they had a job to do. Also, she knew they were about to face a day of interviewing rape victims. Something she didn't look forward to at all.

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In one interview room Ryan and Esposito were drilling Jackson Cantrell. He was an oaf of a man. He had quickly given them the name of the John Doe who they now knew was a thirty-nine year old named Carl Stewart. Carl was Jackson's friend and roommate, but the two did not seem to be an obvious match. Jackson Cantrell was an undereducated Janitor and possibly even mentally delayed, although none of his medical history indicated any official diagnoses. Carl Stewart held an MBA and worked as the CEO for a local manufacturer of musical instruments. The two had met twenty years earlier when the victim was nineteen and volunteered with Big Brothers/Big Sisters. Jackson was the eleven year-old boy that had been paired up with the young college student.

In the other room Beckett, having started with the four cases that had a definite fingerprint link to Carl Stewart, was sitting across from the last of the three rape victims they had been able to contact so far. The fourth victim was proving a little more difficult to locate. After reading the case files Beckett was prepared to meet some very emotionally broken women. The details and pictures she had seen were horrifying and turned her stomach. She hesitated to let Castle read them, but knew his input would be invaluable. She watched him as his jaw clinched in disgust as he read through each one.

Now sitting alone across from a twenty-four year old violinist named Cassandra Erikson, Kate steadied herself once again. The reports had not prepared her for the physical scars she would witness this day. Not only had Carl Stewart beaten and raped his victims, but he cut the soft flesh of their faces. His actions leaving behind physical reminders of the terror he had inflicted on their souls. Cassandra's story mirrored the stories told by the two previous women Kate had spoken to earlier. She had been grabbed outside a club, having just played her violin for a small crowd. She was pulled into a van; she believed it was green or maybe even teal. Her attacker was thin, but strong and wore a mask but no gloves. A larger man drove the vehicle while the assault occurred. Eventually, after repeated sexual assaults and slicing her face with a small pocketknife, she was thrown from the moving vehicle and left to bleed out on the sidewalk. The wounds did offer one clue. His fingerprints were all over each victim having been preserved in the dried blood.

Just like in the earlier interviews with a pianist named Riley O'Rourke and a harp player named Elaine Schultz, Cassandra Erikson had a rock solid alibi for the time of Carl Stewart's murder. And just like the other two women, she was completely offended by Beckett's line of questioning. The Detective just apologized and escorted her out. There was nothing she could do to take away the pain her questions had caused.

Castle had watched each interview from behind the two-way mirror. They feared the presence of a man may cause the women to clam up, so Beckett had asked that he not join her. He watched as the effects of the day wore his partner down. With each interview her shoulders slumped a little more then they had a few minutes before. He wanted to be in there for her, but solving this case was paramount. He didn't want her to have to wade through fifteen more victims. He reviewed the fourth case file again as he watched.

It was obvious to them all that Carl Stewart and Jackson Cantrell worked in tandem to grab and assault these women. All indications were that Jackson did not participate past driving the vehicle and watching. Carl was the Alpha Male and his type was clearly young musically inclined women. But, there was something different about the victim they had not yet located. According to the report, Tabitha Jenkins was twenty-one at the time of her assault. She was a student at a local community college studying music appreciation. She didn't play any instruments, but was apparently a very gifted vocalist. The interesting thing about Tabitha was that she had a very high functioning form of Autism known as Asperger' Syndrome. He had heard of some cases where people with this syndrome had the ability to hear and speak in perfect pitch. This would only aid in her ability as an aspiring singer. Castle stared at her picture attached to the inside of the file. Finally it clicked and he ran out of the room.

"Hey," Beckett found him hunched over the computer screen fast-forwarding and rewinding the ATM footage he had been slaving over most of the day. She placed her hand on his back and leaned in to see what he was looking at.

He paused the footage and pointed to the screen, "There!"

It took Beckett only a few seconds to realize she was looking at victim number four, Tabitha Jenkins, crossing the street towards _Sway_ just hours before Carl Stewart was murdered in the alley behind that very establishment.

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"We can cancel you know?"

Castle rubbed circles on Kate's back as she laid her head against the steering wheel. They had just pulled up behind The Old Haunt. She shook her head not wanting to cancel, but not ready to get out of the car just yet. The day had been a heavy one for all involved and she just needed a minute. Of course Castle understood and just continued to caress her back.

After putting all the pieces of the case together, it didn't take a genius to figure out who had killed Carl Stewart. Obviously, Tabitha Jenkins had some how recognized her attacker even though it had been six months since the actual rape. Both the owner and the wait staff of _Sway_ had confirmed that Tabitha was on the list of singers that had performed during open mike night the previous evening. Beckett's team had spent the rest of the day trying to locate the young woman, but were unsuccessful at both her home and the school where she gave vocal lessons to children afflicted with her same condition.

According to everyone they spoke to, Tabitha was a kind and loving woman that had ascended beyond the limitations of her syndrome. She spent her life doing what she loved, sharing music with anyone who would listen. She had no family to speak of, having grown up in foster care. Her co-workers seemed to be her closest friends and they all attested to the darkness that had overcome Tabitha since the rape, but no one blamed her. She had suffered a terrible tragedy, but was enduring with the same tenacity that she had shown her whole life.

Finally she spoke, "No, Lanie knows what's up and there is no way she will let us cancel. Plus, we can't just postpone all the good things in life because of a bad case."

Castle rubbed her hair from her face as she lifted it from the wheel and turned to face him. "Ok, but how about just a few drinks and appetizers to celebrate the news and then we call it an early night?"

"Sounds good." She leaned her cheek against his hand as he rubbed her ear with his thumb. "You know, I'm a Homicide Detective for a reason." Castle just cocked his head. "I'm good with a dead victim's family, I'm not so good with an actual living victim. I hate that I will have to arrest her when we find her." She dipped her head a bit, "Did you see what he did to them?"

Caste got out of the car and walked to her side. He opened the door and pulled her out by her hands. He needed to hold her and comfort her. "Yes, I saw it and you treated them with the utmost respect. You were only doing your job."

She wrapped her arms around his body, "Sometimes my job sucks."

He gave her a little tickle, "You're preaching to the choir."

After a couple more minutes and a few deep breaths they entered The Old Haunt. They picked a large horseshoe shaped booth and Castle slid in behind his fiancé. Kate leaned into his side and his arm lay across her shoulders as they waited for their friends to arrive. Castle had made very few changes to the bar since purchasing it. He was a stickler for maintaining the historical integrity, but he had insisted on installing a nice sound system and made an area where couples could dance if they were so inclined. It had become a favorite spot for not only them, but for their friends as well. And of course Castle insisted that everything was on the house. The waitress arrived and quickly brought them their usual drinks and Castle ordered a ton of appetizers so they could eat as soon as everyone arrived.

Kate couldn't help but think about the case and Castle could tell it was still eating at her. He placed a kiss to her temple and left his lips there as he spoke. "If anyone ever hurt you or Alexis like that I would kill him myself."

Kate knew he spoke the truth and her newly found maternal instincts kicked in. "I would help you." She turned and pressed her lips to his before sitting up straight and swallowing the shot of the tequila that had been placed on the table. "Ok, seriously Rick, we need to buck up here. After all this is our engagement party isn't it?"

"Well, I had hoped we…."

She placed her finger to his lips, "Uh-uh, I do not want some big fancy-schmancy event to announce a big fancy-schmancy wedding. This is all I need."

"Yo Castle, where's the spread?" Esposito, Lanie, Jenny and Ryan all slid into the large booth.

"Don't worry I ordered enough food for an army. It should be out in a minute." Castle motioned to the waitress and she took everyone's drink order.

The conversation remained light and fun. No one mentioned the case, not wanting to have to think about it for a while and not wanting to scare the pants off Jenny. She wasn't accustomed to hearing the gory details of their job. Beckett wasn't sure how Ryan did it, closing off that part of his life every night before going home, but he did. She had to assume that was one reason he and his partner were so close. Esposito let Ryan vent to him so he didn't have to take it home to her.

After they finished off the food and were on their third round of drinks, Lanie couldn't take it anymore. "Ok, how much longer are you guys going to make me suffer?"

Jenny, Ryan and Esposito just looked back and forth between the ME and the couple across the table. Lanie had done a very good job of keeping quiet but Kate knew there was only so much she could take.

Kate cleared her throat and began, "Castle and I have something we want to show you all." She pushed at Castle's shoulder and hips forcing him to slide from the booth and stand next to the table. She reached into the front pocket of his jeans. She was fishing for the ring she had placed there earlier.

"Whoa Beckett!" Ryan threw his hands in the air. "We can leave if you guys want a little privacy."

Castle looked at his friend and Kate could see the boyish grin spread across his face. She could get lost in that look, but instead she turned and gave Ryan a stern eyebrow lift. "How does a month on desk duty sound to you?"

"Kidding!" Ryan and Esposito pumped fists across the table and the women just shook their heads.

Finally Kate managed to find the ring and slipped it on her finger. She stood next to Castle and hooked her right arm in his left. Jenny and Lanie gasped at the sight and the boys both whistled in appreciation.

"Finally making an honest woman out of her, huh Bro?"

"Actually, I think it might be her making an honest man of me." Castle was talking to Esposito, but only had eyes for Kate. He leaned in and kissed her smiling lips.

Jenny tapped her fork against her glass, "I think this calls for a toast." She cleared her throat and thought for a moment. They could tell she wanted the toast to be relevant somehow. _"Try as you will, you cannot annihilate that eternal relic of the human heart, love." _She raised her glass, "To Rick and Kate."

Everyone touched glasses as Castle and Kate answered Jenny in unison, "A Victor Hugo fan are we?"

Before Kate could sit back down Castle raised his glass, "I'd like to make a toast of my own." He pulled Kate closer with his free arm and spoke to her and her alone. _"The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves." _He had followed Jenny's lead and stuck with the words of the French author.

Kate's heart fluttered in her chest. She had the sudden desire to be in his arms. She wanted to get lost in his eyes. "Dance with me."

The words were barely a whisper, but he followed her command and let her pull him away from the booth to the small dance floor he was now thanking himself for thinking of. The current song was up-tempo, but would soon be ending. As he held her by the waist and watched her move to the beat, he prayed the next one would be something slow. He wanted to pull her in and feel her body as it melded into his. A few moments later his prayer was answered and Kate slid her hands behind his neck as the soft music played. The whole world seemed to melt away.

_I'll always remember It was late afternoon _

_It lasted forever And ended too soon _

_You were all by yourself Staring up at a dark gray sky _

_I was changed_

Castle slid his hands up her body stopping as his thumbs skimmed her ribs. His fingers applied enough pressure to pull her body flush with his. Wearing her tallest power heels, they were face to face. Their breath mingled in the millimeter of separation between their lips.

_In places no one would find _

_All your feelings so deep inside (deep inside) _

_It was then that I realized _

_That forever was in your eyes _

_The moment I saw you cry_

_The moment that I saw you cry_

The words mirrored their feelings and they sang to each other with their eyes. As usual, no words needed to be spoken. Castle continued to rub the sharp edges of her ribs with his thumbs, but would occasionally move higher to the soft flesh above. He couldn't help but draw a parallel to Kate herself. To much of the world she showed only hard edges, but to him, the softness shined through.

_It was late in September _

_And I've seen you before (and you were) _

_You were always the cold one _

_But I was never that sure _

_You were all by yourself _

_Staring at a dark gray sky _

_I was changed_

Kate breathed in the smell of him. It was covered slightly by the faintest hint of tequila. His touches coursed through her body and she slid her hands down his chest taking his dress shirt into her fists. She didn't care who was watching as she covered his open mouth with hers. She tilted her head to allow her tongue deeper entry. She whimpered as his thumbs once again moved north.

_In places no one would find _

_All your feelings so deep inside (deep inside) _

_It was then that I realized _

_That forever was in your eyes _

_The moment I saw you cry_

He knew her body as it responded to his touch and needed to feel more. He grazed his thumbs over bumpy flesh and felt her whimper into his mouth. She shivered at the contact and slipped her hands inside his jacket and around his body. He could feel her kneading the muscles below his shoulder blades in rhythm with her tongue as it worked against his.

_I wanted to hold you _

_I wanted to make it go away _

_I wanted to know you _

_I wanted to make your everything, all right..._

Kate ran her hands up and down his strong back. She dug her nails in as Castle's hands slowly slid around to envelop her body with his. There was an ache deep in her belly as her body begged for more of him. She was lightheaded with need for oxygen so she reluctantly pulled back, but ran her tongue along the roof of his mouth as she withdrew.

_I'll always remember... _

_It was late afternoon... _

_In places no one would find... _

Castle's moan was low and guttural. His mouth already missed hers and he held her tighter as her legs wobbled. She was so small that she practically disappeared inside his suit coat as he embraced her. Her breath warmed the spot on his neck where she nibbled between gasps. She slipped her hands down his back and rested them in the waistband of his jeans as they continued to sway to the music.

_In places no one would find _

_All your feelings so deep inside (deep inside) _

_It was then that I realized _

_That forever was in your eyes _

_The moment I saw you cry_

Finally he cupped her face in his hands and kissed the tip of her nose with a gentleness no one but Kate would think possible from a man of his size. "Oh woman, what you do to me."

She smiled and once again visited Jenny's friend Victor Hugo, _"The most powerful symptom of love is a tenderness which becomes, at times, almost insupportable."_

He kissed the tears from her eyes. "Let's go home."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**If you liked the song it was by Mandy Moore and is from the soundtrack to _A Walk to Remember_**


	26. Chapter 26

**Sorry for the delay in updating. I usually get a couple chapters out a week, but since the finale I have had total writer's block. I planned on having a chapter devoted to a dramatic ending to the case I started in the last chapter. However, after the finale I realized that there was a distinct lack of Martha in my fic. **

**I hope you enjoy this chapter, I'm sure this is not even close to the actual back story of Martha, but you never know.**

**I don't own them, but just between you, me, and my DVR; I'm pretty sure I am obsessed. Oh four more months. **

**One more thing, I hope you all liked the one-shot I wrote called Love Letters, if you haven't read it, I humbly ask that you check it out. **

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"Hey Dad"

"Hey Pumpkin."

Alexis lifted the lid on the large pot cooking on the stove. "Mmmm, that smells good. You're home early. Is Kate here?" She gave her dad a quick squeeze as he attended to the multiple items he was preparing.

Castle leaned over and gave her a quick kiss on the head, "Yep, she's upstairs. She needed a little alone time; closed a hard case today. She just needed to decompress a bit."

Castle hoped his daughter wouldn't ask any more questions. He didn't want to have to explain that after a week of searching for Tabitha Jenkins to no avail, her body turned up in a Long Island morgue. After killing the man that had assaulted her, Carl Stewart, she apparently took her own life. Her body had washed up somewhere in Brighton Beach the day after the murder. There was no ID on the body so it was only after Beckett's team began cross referencing the young woman's profile with local Jane Doe's that they located her.

"So kiddo, it may just be you and me for dinner."

"Actually, Gram is on her way over. She said she had something important to do." Alexis shrugged her shoulders as she ran upstairs to her room. "Call me when she gets here, I have some studying to do."

Castle continued to cook; he knew he was cooking enough food for an army, but it was the best way he could think of to distract himself. He had made Kate a promise to not bother her when she needed space. Had he known how hard that would actually be, he might have thought twice before making that promise. He was glad when the front door opened indicating his mother's arrival. If nothing else, she would provide a welcome distraction, or so he thought.

"Richard, where is everyone's favorite Detective?"

Castle just shook his head, "Doesn't anyone love _me _anymore?"

Not even trying to understand what her son was talking about Martha just waived her hands in the air. "Not everything is about you son. Now, are you going to tell me where she is or am I going to have to go hunting?"

"She's upstairs in your, I mean her room." Castle had told his mother about converting the room weeks ago, but wasn't sure she yet knew the change had been made. He hoped she wasn't planning on coming home to roost anytime soon. "I promised her I wouldn't bother her, so…."

His mother interrupted him as she headed up the stairs, "Darling, I made no such promise."

Kate sat in _her room _as Castle called it. She needed a little time to herself. Before Castle, most of her evenings consisted of some wine and a long hot bath. Anytime a case was particularly difficult she would curl up with a good book and fall asleep on the couch. Tonight was the first time in a while that she needed just that, and made the mistake of telling Castle. She had assured him that it wasn't about not wanting to be with him, but she saw the tiny flash of hurt in his face. So, she promised him she wouldn't sleep up here, but did ask him not to wait up for her. He had reluctantly agreed. Funny thing was, the good book she decided to curl up with was one of his, _A Rose Forever After_.

She heard a knock at the door, "Kate dear, it's Martha. Can I come in."

Kate realized a night alone in this house was probably too good to be true. She was sure Castle had sent his mother up. He could easily claim that technically only he had promised not to bother her and that he hadn't been able to control Martha. She laughed at herself, she knew she should be mad at him, he had outsmarted her.

"Come on in Martha."

Kate watched as Martha sauntered into the room. She certainly did have a style all her own. She gave Kate a quick smile and then began to float around the room. Kate watched the elder woman as she ran her fingers over the back of couch on her way to the bookshelves. Martha glanced at a few of the pictures in frames scattered around the room. She lovingly touched a picture of Rick and Alexis. Kate could only guess Alexis was about three years old in that one. Kate was beginning to think that maybe Castle hadn't sent her up after all.

Finally Martha spoke, "Dear, has Richard ever told you about his grandparents, well my parents?"

"No, Martha, he hasn't." Kate was surprised at the question. Rick never talked about his family beyond his mother and daughter and Kate had never really thought to ask. She sat up a bit on the couch and drew her knees up to her chest. She laid the book she was reading on the coffee table and patted the seat next to her. "Martha, come on over and sit down." Kate watched Martha as she made her way across the room and sat down. Until now she had never seen this serious side of her soon-to-be mother-in-law.

"Well, of course he wouldn't. My son has never met my family." Martha watched her hands as she spoke. "I'm from Kansas you know? I have two sisters and three brothers. We were pretty well off and never really wanted for much."

Kate was surprised; she had always thought Martha was from right here in good old New York. She reached out and placed her hand over Martha's to encourage her to continue.

"I knew from an early age that performing was in my blood, but my folks were extremely conservative; my father ruled the house much like he did his company, with an iron fist. I remember he often looked at me like I was an alien, he never understood me like he did my siblings." She took in a deep breath.

Kate could tell Martha hadn't shared this story very often, if ever, and felt touched to be the one on the receiving end but wasn't so sure what had prompted Martha to share.

"It was all I could do to convince them to let me be in school plays and talent shows. So, when I was approached by my theater teacher to audition at the local community theater, they were adamantly opposed. I begged and pleaded to no avail." Martha's eyes filled with tears.

Kate could feel tears forming in her own eyes. She would never know what it felt like to have parents like that. Her own parents had been more supportive than she could have hoped for. She squeezed Martha's hand to encourage her to continue.

"I loved my parents very much and up till then, I always obeyed them, even if I didn't agree. But on this I couldn't oblige so I auditioned anyway and quickly got a part in a summer traveling production. I knew I had to tell them, the rehearsal and performance schedule was going to be grueling, therefore I wouldn't be able to keep the secret." Martha smiled slightly and Kate couldn't help but smile with her.

"That had to have been an amazing feeling to have your dreams affirmed like that."

"Thank you Dear, it was, but bittersweet at the same time. You see when I told my parents they gave me an ultimatum. I won't go into the gory details, but needless to say, I haven't seen or spoken to either of them or any of my siblings since that summer."

Kate wanted to pull her in for a hug, and hesitated for only a moment, then wrapped her arms around Martha's shoulders. "I'm sorry, I can't imagine."

Martha perked up a bit, "It was hard and lonely, and New York wasn't the place for a young girl from Kansas, but luckily I found good people to mentor me and pretty soon I landed some lucrative roles. Over the next few years I often thought about reaching out to my mom, at least." Kate saw the tears form again and Martha's lip quivered. "I missed her so much….. But then it happened."

Kate instantly knew what the _it_ referred to, or rather who. She couldn't help but smile at the thought of the man she would soon marry.

Martha continued knowing that Kate was following her train of thought. "I knew right away that I would never again be accepted by my family if I was a single mother and neither would my child. At first I was ashamed and considered adoption."

Kate's heart sped up a bit. She thought Martha was going to say abortion instead of adoption. For a brief second she grieved for what she could have lost had Martha terminated her pregnancy, no not her pregnancy, she could have terminated him. She swallowed back the emotion and continued to listen.

"Then by the time he was to be born, I was so totally in love with the idea of having someone I could call family again, that adoption was never again an option. I had done enough work to be comfortable and knew I could work again after." Her story kind of shifted gears for a second, "Oh Kate, you should have seen him." Martha was beaming at this point and so was Kate. "He was the most adorable baby."

"Of that I have no doubt." The thought of Castle as a chubby little baby made Kate beam even more.

"Oh, and when he looked at you with those baby blues," Martha swooned. "It was like he was looking into your soul."

Kate knew the feeling well, "He still has that ability."

"He was only about five minutes old when all the shame I had felt for nine months just fell away. I made him a promise that day; sitting alone in that hospital bed. I told him that I would never let anyone or anything hold him back or squash his dreams." Martha began to cry, "The day his life began, all hope to reconcile with my family ended." Her face became almost angry and she gripped Kate's hands tightly. "I knew I would never let them anywhere near my son. They would never hurt him the way they had hurt me."

"Martha, I'm so sorry."

"Don't be Dear, being his mother made it all worth it. I may not have always done the right things and yes, I was absent a lot, but I can honestly say I have spent every day of his life loving him." As she spoke she reached out to touch the book lying face down on the coffee table. The man they both adored stared back at them. "I can't say I didn't sometimes wonder if my mom ever saw any of my work or read anything about me, but I never regretted anything again."

Kate thought maybe that was the end of the story, "That was beautiful, thank you for sharing that with me."

Martha shook her head and slapped her knees. "Oh goodness, I really went off on a tangent. I hadn't intended to go into all of that. I meant to tell you about something that happened about six years ago."

Kate settled back in and waited for Martha to gather her thoughts. "One day I got a box in the mail. I recognized the writing and address on it immediately. It was from my sister." Silent tears were flowing down Martha's face now. "There was a card inside, she hadn't signed it, but it contained two obituaries."

Kate took in a small breath, she couldn't help but wonder if Martha was appreciating her dramatic response.

"There was a post-it stuck on the first one and it said '_read this first_.' My dad had died in 1975 only nine years after I left. I read the clipping and was not surprised to be omitted as his child." Kate handed Martha a tissue from the coffee table.

"God Martha, that's awful."

She continued, "The note on the other one instructed me to look through the box before reading."

Kate was enthralled by now, "What was in it?"

Martha smiled the widest smile. "Is held clippings pertaining to every play, movie or TV show I ever did. There were even some Playbills and whole magazines that featured me on the cover. My mother had seen it all." She took a few breaths to calm herself. "I dug deeper, I needed to see everything she had collected. As I got closer to the bottom…." Sobs began to take over again.

Kate rubbed her back, "It's okay Martha…."

Martha held up her finger asking for another second and she finally was able to speak again, "She had collected them for Richard too."

With that Kate began to cry as well, but it was a feel good kind of cry. Kate had never felt anything quite like the emotion she was feeling at that moment. As she and Martha caught sight of each other they both started to laugh through the tears.

"I then read the other obituary, my mother had died only a few months prior to my receiving the box. As I read it I couldn't believe the words I saw. Not only was I included as her third daughter but Richard and Alexis were listed as well. And that wasn't all. The final item in the box was a small velvet drawstring bag" As she spoke Martha pulled the item from her pocket and placed it in Kate's hand. "Now for the reason I came up here tonight."

Kate's looked from her hand to Martha, now she was thoroughly confused.

"At first I had no idea why my sister had sent them. I could never imagine I would ever have a use for them so I just tucked them away. But then, about two years ago I figured it out and have been waiting for this moment ever since." Martha smiled at Kate and again took her hands. "See not long after Richard started shadowing you he came home one night and told me a little story…." Martha touched the ring hanging around Kate's neck, "he told me about the ring representing the life you lost."

Kate began to cry again,_ 'what was it about this family that made her cry?' _

Martha then touched Kate's father's watch, "and about the watch representing the life you saved." Martha then took the velvet box from Kate's grasp. "I hope you will do me the honor of wearing this," Martha poured out two silver rings, one larger than the other; Kate had to assume they were Martha's parents' wedding rings. Martha placed the smaller of the two rings in Kate's palm, "and let it represent the lives you have completed. Mine, Alexis's and most importantly my son's"

xxxxxxxxxx

"Hey," Castle watched Kate's reflection in the mirror as she walked up behind him while he brushed his teeth.

"Hey yourself." She slid her arms under his and placed her palms against his bare chest. He was ready for bed and wearing nothing but his boxers. She kissed his back a few times before standing on her tiptoes to rest her chin on his shoulder. They stared at each other's reflection for a while. Finally she broke the silence.

"Marry me Rick."

He was confused but she saw the corner of his mouth curl into a smirk. He turned around and cupped her chin in his hands, "Now, I think I'm underdressed?"

She rubbed her hands down his chest as his hands slipped to her backside pulling her body flush with his. "Okay, not tonight but soon. I can't wait much longer to be able to call you family." He pulled her in for a gentle kiss, but she pulled back after a few seconds, "Plus, your not getting any younger." Kate laughed and tried to turn and run out of the bathroom hoping he would follow, but he caught her and scooped her up bridal style and tossed her on their bed.

"_How absurd and delicious it is to be in love with somebody younger than yourself. Everybody should try it." _

Kate pulled him down on top of her, "Come on old man, you'll need to come up with something more romantic than that if you think you're going to have any of this tonight." She waved her hand up and down her body and Castle was briefly reminded of Vanna White, but only very briefly.

"Well it's a good thing I am a student of Woody Allen." He leaned down and bit her ear before whispering, _"There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy." _Kate raised her eyebrows and waited for him to finish._ "Her heart." _

She wrapped her legs around his midsection and reached for the waist of his boxers, "I certainly hope you plan on touching more than just my heart tonight Mr. Castle."


	27. Chapter 27

**Afraid this one might be Smut, but after that finale who could blame a girl. I realized that the other two M rated chapters were quite serious. I hope you like the more playful tone in this one….**

**Don't own them and right now I don't even want to think about them but obsession is an evil evil thing…**

**Love all the reviews and I forgot to mention a few chapters back that I am amazed that IMW is even reading this let alone reviewed. If you haven't read anything IMW has written, I suggest you do so. Heart wrenching is all I can say….**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Kate turned the key in the front door. She was so glad to be home and she could tell Alexis was feeling the same as she shuffled in past Kate and plopped down on a barstool.

"Are you hungry sweetie?"

"No, not yet; I think I'm going to take a shower and fall into bed."

Kate gave her a weary smile, "Yeah, I think I'm going to do the same. I doubt your father will be home anytime soon." Kate saw the knowing look from Alexis as the girl climbed the stairs.

"Yeah, the way Lanie talked Ryan and Esposito must've had some big plans for him. Goodnight Kate."

"Night Alexis."

Kate leaned her back against the bar and bent over to remove her shoes. Her feet were aching. Lanie and Jenny had joined her and Alexis this afternoon for an impromptu bachelorette party. Since she and Castle had dropped the bomb that they were getting married in late October, which was now less than four weeks away, she hadn't really expected a shower or a party, but Lanie was having nothing of it. Kate and Alexis had spent the day shopping for a wedding dress before meeting up with the other two women.

Kate glanced over at the white garment bag she had draped over the couch a few minutes prior. A smile cracked at the corners of her mouth as she thought about what the look on Castle's face might be like day she puts on that dress. She could hardly believe what this year had held. How many times she a Castle had almost perished due to some horrible incident or another, but she refused to even think about the bad things because it had also been the most wonderful year of her life.

After having finally given in to the feelings she had been holding back for so long, the rest just fell into place. She fell more in love with Richard Castle every day; no not just every day, but every time she saw him or heard his voice or just smelled his scent for that matter. She had never thought she would be the type of woman that could fall head over heels, but she had. In fact, she was pretty sure she didn't just fall, she dropped like a rock.

Finally having removed her shoes and grabbed a glass of water, Kate picked up the bag containing her gown and padded to their bedroom. She wanted to get the dress hung in the closet before Castle came home. He was out with the boys for his bachelor party. She and he had both tried to convince their friends that they didn't require them, but everyone insisted it was tradition. They both had wondered when their friends had decided either of them cared about tradition, but they gave in anyway.

As she exited the closet she noticed it was approaching midnight. Castle had promised her he wouldn't be out much past one o'clock, but wasn't sure the choice would be up to him considering the boys were driving. Either way she hoped to be asleep very soon.

She headed to the bathroom knowing a nice hot bath was just what she needed to relax her aching legs before settling in for the night. She was just about to get undressed when she heard the door open behind her.

"There you are." Castle wrapped her in is arms immediately, "How – was – your - day?" He kissed her shoulder between words.

She turned in his embrace, "Tiring…" She cocked her head and wrinkled up her nose. "I can tell how yours was just by the smell." She couldn't decide what was worse, the stale cigarettes or the copious stench of beer. "How much did you drink?"

He pulled back, "Oh actually didn't have any, but Esposito got a little carried away during a tense game of darts and spilled on me." He removed his shirt and threw it in the hamper before returning to Kate to give her neck the attention he had been giving her shoulder.

"You had to be the Designated Diver for your own bachelor party?' Kate was going to give the boys a hard time about that but Castle explained.

"No, I just didn't feel comfortable drinking in front of your dad."

Kate kissed his temple as he continued to nibble on her neck; she couldn't help but wonder why tonight was different, he had consumed alcohol many times in front of her father, "Why, I mean that's sweet, but why?"

He stopped his nibbling and looked at her while he slid his hands down her body to cup her rear-end. "I don't know; just want him to see me as good enough, I guess." While he spoke he nudged her back forcing her to sit on the vanity and he spread her knees apart with his thighs.

Kate's heart did a little flop, in just that second it had happened; she fell in love all over again, each time a little harder than the last. She grabbed the back of his shoulders and pulled him in. She engulfed his mouth with hers and wrapped her legs around his calves, sliding herself forward on the slick countertop until their bodies met. As he left her mouth to pepper her cheeks with light kisses the smell hit her again and she pushed him off by his shoulders.

"Rick, I love you, but you stink."

He eliminated the distance she had created when she shoved him back. He began unbuttoning her blouse. "I'm pretty sure we can put are heads together and think of a way for you to _love _me while I remove the stink." His eyes glinted with a look she could only describe as lust and she knew hers mirrored the same in return.

With one motion Kate ripped his undershirt from where it was tucked in his jeans. How he had the ability to turn her on so quickly she would never know but all the fatigue just washed away. She shoved him backward and slid off the vanity. "Oh Ricky, I don't think it's our heads that we need to put together."

As she spoke the fire in between her legs intensified with need and she could see the evidence of his arousal as he unfastened his jeans and stepped out of them before grabbing her around the waist and pulling her into him. He quickly decided that her shirt buttons would take too long and he lifted it over her head as she willingly lifted her arms. Castle growled and instantly grabbed her breasts even as they were still covered by her bra. He ran his thumbs over her hardened nipples and she hissed into his neck. Her hands were feverishly trying to remove his boxers but the sensations his hands provided caused her knees to wobble and her hands to shake so she moved them to his backside and pulled their bodies together. She dug her hipbones into his thighs, wanting so desperately to feel him. She wanted him in her now and told him so.

"Castle quit messing around and get me naked, now!"

He spoke against her breast, "Yes dear." His hands slipped between them and he unclasped the hook on her bra. He had learned very early in their relationship that her bras always hooked in the front. "How about you give me a hand and…. Kate!"

She had interrupted his request by slipping her hands inside his boxers and cupping his pulsing shaft. She didn't dare stroke or squeeze; she could tell his resolve was already slipping. "What? You asked me to give you a hand. I believe I am giving you two." She slipped her hands downs his thighs, pulling the silk boxers down to the floor so he could step out of them. She was sure to rub her bare chest along the length of him has she stood on tiptoes to kiss his lips once again.

He managed to blindly unfasten her slacks with one hand using his other to cradle the back of her head as their tongues wrestled for dominance. He hooked his thumb in the fabric of her underwear and slid them down with her pants. She stepped out of them just as he had his seconds earlier. He slid his hands up her bare thighs and picked her up. She instinctively wrapped her muscular legs around his body.

"Shower Castle!"

Again he obeyed her command, "Yes Dear."

Their mouths never parted as he opened the door and walked them into the large marble tiled shower. Kate's arm flailed behind her as she sought out the knob. Finally the warm water streamed over their sweating bodies. Castle sat her on the tiled seat situated at the back of the large cubicle. The first time he sat her there months ago, he wondered if the architect had intended it for this use. Castle had to assume so since its placement was the perfect height. He didn't have to bend his knees too much and the depth was perfect too. Kate's bottom fit perfectly allowing him to give her the pleasure he so desired to offer her. As he slipped his hand between her thighs he couldn't help but tell her again, "You're beautiful."

Kate was too busy sucking on his lip to realize that his hands had slipped from her backside. She felt the cold tile against her body and then she felt his thumb rub against her engorged nub as his other hand took hold of her breast. The sudden contact caused her hips to jerk forward. Luckily his body was leaning against her or she may have fallen off the seat.

"Castle, you – in – me – now!"

He laughed against her lips and the vibration almost caused her to come undone right then. She grabbed the side of his head to still his lips for a moment; she needed to catch her breath.

He loved when she took control and her demands only caused him to grow harder still. When she grabbed his head he couldn't help but breathe in the air she exhaled. He always wanted to take every part of her in and her breath was no exception. Her lips were red and swollen and hers eyes were black with desire. She bit her bottom lip fighting back the inevitable that was trying to take over as he alternated between slightly grazing the sensitive flesh with his thumb and grinding the digit against her so hard he could feel her pelvic bone beneath. Her grip on him loosened and he took her mouth in his. He took care to suck her bottom lip from behind her perfect teeth and lick the pain she had inflicted away.

Kate so wanted to feel him inside her, but she couldn't put two words together coherently. The things he did to her. She slid her hands from his face and he stuck his tongue into her mouth. She slipped one arm around his neck; pulling their chests together so tightly that his hand could no longer kneed her breasts. She tried to reach for him with her free hand, but he wouldn't allow it and he grabbed her wrist and held her arm above their heads against the cool tile.

His words hummed on her tongue, "Katherine, you know how this works, ladies first, always."

Kate's ragged breaths hitched as he slid two fingers into her body while his thumb continued the torture. Kate did know how this worked. Castle always worked her into a frenzy and by the time he was ready to give in she was usually working on her second climax. Even on nights like this when she was so sure his resolve wouldn't hold out, he took care of her needs before his own. She would always try to protest, but they both knew how the game was played and they both loved the game. Most of their intimate times together went on long after her two orgasms so she knew there was no way she was slighting him in the sex department. It was just the dynamic they had mutually agreed on, even though it had never been discussed.

Finally she began to give in and her vision began to blur. He pumped his fingers even as her internal muscles clasped down on him like a vice grip over and over. Her pelvis jerked and her thigh muscles burned as she squeezed his hips between her knees. He lowered the arm he was holding above her head knowing she was in no condition to fight against him any longer. She turned her head pressing her cheek against the cool tile. The heat had become unbearable and she felt like she could hardly breathe in the hot moist air. As usual he helped her ride out the waves. He knew just how to touch her to draw out a few more quivers before sliding his digits from her.

Everything felt so heavy and she draped her arms over his shoulders as he leaned in to once again suck on her nipples.

"Rick – so – hot" He had reduced her to mush and she could barely speak.

He gave her another cheeky grin, "Yes Dear, you certainly are."

"Castle!"

Rick watched as she came down from the high. He had decided a long time ago that watching her had to be the most spectacular foreplay he could think of. Oh, he also loved to feel her around him, but watching was just so… Tonight he was in a teasing mood but he could tell with the last shout of his name that he had better do as he was told. Plus, he was extremely hot as well. He could only hope that the water alone had gotten rid of all the smell she had mentioned earlier because he was not going to take time to wash. Not when she was so obviously revving up for round two. He scooped her up from the ledge he had perched her on. She tightened her grip around his neck and began to suck on his ear. Her humming was enough to stiffen him even more. He hit the knob and exited the shower, but they were soaking wet and knew if he took her to bed right now she would insist on changing the sheets after. She hated to sleep in wet sheets. He knew he wouldn't want to let her go long enough to complete the domestic task so he decided they would stay in the bathroom for round two tonight. His feet slipped a little on the tile as he spun around trying to decide on a spot that would satisfy their needs.

"Castle if you don't find a place to screw me right now, I swear to god!"

She sunk her teeth into the soft flesh above his shoulder and ground into him. The cool air of the bathroom had covered both of them in goose bumps instantly, but he could feel the heat radiating from her folds as she ground onto him again. Her legs were wrapped so tightly around his hips he could barely walk.

Finally he decided on the toilet. It wasn't the most romantic venue, but it would serve the purpose and with the way she way gnawing on him he knew she wouldn't care. Luckily he was a good boy and the lid was already down. He tried to sit softly, but his foot slipped last minute and his tailbone smacked against the porcelain.

"Ouch!"

"Castle, quit being such a baby and do me already!"

She had stopped biting him and was looking at him with the most beautiful smile. Oh, he loved it when she played bad cop. He could tell by the clarity in her eyes that she was ready for round two and with the way his erection pulsed against her abdomen he was ready, as well. He lifted her hips slightly creating the perfect angle for entry. He leaned forward and bit her breast, she gasped and her hands fisted in his hair.

"My my aren't we pushy this evening, Detective?" He licked her hardened nipples as he spoke.

Kate had had enough, he could tell, she slid her legs from his hips and flattened her feet to the floor on either side of their porcelain perch. She raised herself slightly. For a split second he thought she might really be pissed and was going to leave him there all worked up with no place to go. Then he saw the smirk on her lips and he braced himself for the ecstasy.

"Oh Mr. Castle, I'll show you pushy."

With that she slid down over him and sheathed him in her molten walls. All he could do was dig his fingers into the soft flesh of her hips as she rode him up and down. She alternated between fast and hard and slow and soft. After a few particularly rough movements the agony was exquisite but too much. He reached up and pulled her body into his. Their chests fused together, their foreheads touched and their eyes met. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders in the same way. He knew never before had two people taken up such little space. They couldn't possibly be closer; body mind and soul. Castle wasn't sure how he managed to talk but he had something to say.

"_He felt now that he was not simply close to her, but that he did not know where he ended and she began."_

Her movements had become so slow and both their breathing raged. He was so close and wanted to make sure he was buried to the hilt when they both gave in. He slipped his arm under her knee and lifted her foot from the floor. The lack of support caused her to sink down and engulf him even more. He knew he had hit that spot again, the spot that rendered her incapable of anything but breathing. That knowledge was all he needed and he finally gave in. His orgasm pulsed inside of her time and time again until she screamed his name, or rather all his names and she clamped down around him as her entire body shook in his arms.

Finally he lowered her leg and held her to him and she returned the affection as her arms draped over his shoulders. Her head lay against his neck and she kissed him between breaths. He did the same to her chest. When she was able to speak he was pretty sure he knew the subject of her oncoming remark.

"You got to hand it to Leo Tolstoy, he really knows what he's talking about. That was…"

"Amazing, I know." Castle finished her sentence so she could catch her breath. "Do you want to move this to the bedroom?"

"Yes, but I'm not sure I can move yet, you?'

He squeezed her tighter, "Not yet, give me a minute."

A few minutes later; finally able to move Kate slid from his lap. They walked hand in hand to the bedroom. He slid under the covers and held them up for her to join them. As usual she climbed in. Castle loved that about her; she almost never sat on the side and slid in like most people. Her feet were almost always the first thing to touch the mattress. She kicked the fabric from his hand and it fell at his side leaving him uncovered. She stepped over him; the movement caused him to roll to his back.

"Kate, the heart is willing but the body may take a few minutes to catch up."

"Don't worry; let me do the work this time.


	28. Chapter 28

**Ok, I guess the writer's block has passed**

**To ****baterista9, you're welcome, I think….**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Kate sat straight up in bed, heart racing she looked at the clock. It was just before five and the world was still dark. She was sure something had yanked her from sleep. She glanced over at Castle and placed her hand on his chest. His breathing was steady and even. He even snored slightly with every breath. She was sure she had heard something. She climbed out of bed and grabbed a robe from the closet before exiting the room. Once in the living room nothing seemed out of place. She began to wonder if her mind had been playing tricks on her, but she decided to finish her sweep; it was a cop thing. As she climbed the stairs she caught sight of something in the hall. She screamed louder then she had ever screamed in her life; she needed him to hear her.

"Riiiiick!"

She almost fell up the last few risers in her panic to get to Alexis who was lying unconscious on the floor. She had to hold back the vomit in her throat as she placed two fingers on the side of the teen's neck. Relief washed over her as she felt a strong steady pulse. _'Thank god she's alive.' _Kate stood briefly to switch on the hall light. She did a quick scan of Alexis's body and didn't see any injuries. Finally she felt her forehead; she was on fire.

"Kate?" Castle heard her scream; her terrorized voice had broken through the veil of sleep. She wasn't in the bed; he knew that immediately, her voice had been too distant. He stumbled out of the bed and threw on a pair of jeans that had been folded in a nearby chair. His heart raced; _'Nothing scared Kate Beckett, she was made of steel, she never flinched.' _Castle couldn't fathom what had caused her to sound so desperate. Once out of their room he could hear her voice coming from up the stairs.

"Kate! What's wrong?" He yelled as he took the stairs two at a time. He froze as his feet hit the hallway. "Alexis!" He fell to his knees with a thud, "What happened? Alexis?"

Kate knew she needed to take charge, he was going to fall apart but she needed him, Alexis needed him. "Rick, she's burning up. Go call 911." When he didn't move she got more forceful. She scooted over to him and grabbed his face making sure he looked at her and understood. "Honey, I need you to go call 911. Alexis needs you to call 911."

Clarity seemed to hit him over the head. He jumped up and rather than run back downstairs to either of their cells, he stepped over his daughter's body; entering her room. He grabbed her cell dialed the three numbers no parent ever wants to dial concerning their child. The operator answered and he found himself unable to speak. Kate could hear the operator's voice asking over and over; somehow the phone was on speaker which worked to her advantage.

"This is Detective Kate Beckett, our daughter is unconscious and seems to be running an extremely high fever; we need an ambulance ASAP!" She was screaming and she could see Castle flinch with each word.

The dispatcher spoke from the other end of the line, "Okay, we have your location from the cell. A bus is on the way. How old is your daughter?"

"Sixteen, and don't even say it because it's not drugs." Kate heard the hesitation from the operator.

"Okay, you say she is burning up. It may help to try to get her cooled down until the medics arrive. Are you able to get her into a bathtub?"

Thankfully the operator was calm because Kate felt herself falling apart and Castle was practically in shock. "Yes, her father is here." Kate nodded to Castle and he understood her command.

He handed Kate the phone and scooped Alexis up in his arms and headed to the guest bathroom off the hall. Kate relayed the instructions from the operator. He did as she said and placed Alexis in the tub and turned the shower head at an angle that would avoid hitting her directly in the face. He turned on the spray making sure to keep it at room temp. Too cold could cause hypothermia and too warm wouldn't help cool her down. He started to crawl in behind her but Kate stopped him.

"No, let me. You need to ride with her and you won't have time to change. Go grab a shirt and your shoes." As he nodded and turned to leave she grabbed his arm. "She's going to be alright, I promise." She wasn't sure how she could make such a promise, but it had to be true. He couldn't lose her. She couldn't lose her.

On his way down the stairs the fear finally hit him and he began to cry. How could this be happening? He finished getting dressed through the tears. On his way through the living room he stopped and hit the call button that connected his loft to the lobby. When a familiar voice answered he somehow found the ability to speak. "Stan, this is Richard Castle. Alexis is sick and the medics should be here any minute. Please give them the spare key and let them up."

"Sure thing Mr. Castle, are you and Miss Beckett okay?"

"Yeah, thanks Stan."

Castle lied he knew he wasn't okay and as he climbed the stairs and found Kate cradling his baby in her arms, he knew she wasn't either. He knelt beside the tub and rubbed his hand over Alexis's forehead. It may have been wishful thinking but she did seem a little cooler than she had a few minutes earlier. Kate was rocking her and singing something in her ear. He saw the goose bumps on her on her body, but she didn't seem to notice. He used his free hand to wipe the wet hair off her face. They sat in silence until the medics entered the loft.

Castle stood and faced the doorway, "Up here." He turned off the water and waited for them to enter.

Once the two medical professionals entered, the room quickly became too crowded. Castle helped Kate out of tub and wrapped a towel around her damp body. She was shaking but whether it was from the cold or the fear he couldn't tell. They quickly relayed the events of the last few minutes then stepped out into the hall to allow them the room they needed to work.

Once in the hall the floodgates opened again, but this time it was Kate that sobbed. They held each other and whispered assurances that she was going to be fine. Finally the medics emerged from the bathroom with Alexis on the stretcher. They had started and IV and connected a heart monitor. However they didn't seem to be rushing.

"Sir, ma'am." He medic was polite. "All her vitals are stable but she does have quite a high fever. We will know more once she is in the ER. Do either one of you want to ride along?" Castle nodded.

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Kate quickly threw on some clothes. She glanced in the mirror and didn't like what she saw. Between the impromptu shower with Castle the night before and then the time in the tub with Alexis, she was a mess. She tried to run a brush through the tangles but decided on a ponytail instead. She packed a bag with some of her things as well as Castle's. Neither one would want to leave until they both knew Alexis was okay. She grabbed her cell phone and texted Lanie, Esposito and Ryan. Her drive to the hospital was the longest of her life. For once she was thankful for valet parking. She often balked at the extravagances Manhattan had to offer, but quickly realized that sometimes there were advantages. She ran down the hall to the ER; for a minute it felt like that scene in _Poltergeist_ where the hall just got longer and longer as the mother tried to run to save her children. Finally out of breath she slammed into the front desk.

"My daughter…. " Kate needed air, "Alexis Castle?"

"Kate!"

She turned and saw him across the waiting room. He looked so scared and pale. She ran into his arms and held him tight. She was afraid to ask; in this moment Alexis was alive, but if she asked…

"She's okay but has been taken to surgery." Rick led her to the seats he had been sitting in before she arrived. "Her Appendix ruptured."

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Kate lay next to Alexis in the bed she shared with the girl's father. It had been three days since the scariest night of their life. Alexis had come through the surgery no worse for wear. In fact she didn't remember ever feeling sick and had no idea how she had managed to end up in the hall. Neither Kate nor Castle had slept much since then. Only after bringing her home today had either of them felt comfortable enough to try to sleep. They refused to let her stay in her own bed at least until tomorrow. Once he got his two girls settled in Castle made his way to the study. The last few days had made him realize that a few changes needed to be made.

"Hey Jeff, yeah she's doing fine, thanks for asking." Castle was on the phone with his attorney. "We were able to bring her home today. Jeff, do you think you could draw up some papers for me?"

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"Hey sleepy head." Castle rubbed Kate's head. He was hoping to wake her up without bothering Alexis.

She rolled over and rubbed her eyes, "Hey is everything okay?"

He pulled her up from the bed, "I need you for a second."

He led her to the kitchen and pulled out a bar stool for her to sit in. He knew what he had to ask her may come as a shock, but after the scare with Alexis he knew it had to be done. He could see Kate's worried expression and he kissed her forehead.

"It's not bad, or I don't think it is." He pointed to the paperwork lying on the marble in front of her. His attorney had dropped them off just a few moments earlier.

Kate saw the legal papers and instantly thought it was a prenuptial agreement. She had been urging Castle to have one drawn up but until now he had adamantly refused. Her heart sank a bit in her chest, but she knew she would sign whatever he asked her to. She wasn't in this for money and she never had any intention of divorcing him, so whatever the agreement said was fine with her. She had to admit, though, she was a little hurt after all his insistence that what was his was hers. She squeezed back the tears and picked up the papers to read them.

It only took a few seconds of reading to realize that these were in no way prenuptial documents. "Rick, no, you don't have to do this." She placed her hands on his cheeks, "What about Meredith?"

"Meredith hasn't had any legal rights to Alexis since she was two years old. I saw to that the moment she walked out of her daughter's life. She never even fought it and it wasn't until Alexis was four that she even asked to see her. Gradually short visits here turned into outings and not until Alexis was thirteen did I ever let her go to California to visit. But never did I have anything legal put back in place."

Kate stared at the documents in front of her, "But adoption? She's sixteen. Does she really need to be adopted? I mean, I'll always be here for her does it have to be…"

Castle interrupted her and pulled her into his arms. "With what we do and with what happened the other night, nothing's set in stone. I may not always be here. What if I had been out of town? I need to know that you can make decisions for her should she need it."

Kate pulled back, she was crying. "Have you asked Alexis?"

He smiled, "Yes and she was ecstatic, well I think she was; she was a little doped up from the surgery at the time." He gave her that smile she loved, the one that had his eyes all crinkled and squinty. "All kidding aside, this is what we both want." A little worry shot through him, "Only if you want it too." Kate nodded and buried her face in his neck. "Good, and because there is no way you can afford her private school tuition on a cop's salary, I have arranged to have you added to all my accounts."

"Castle!" Kate lifted her head and gave him her signature eyebrow lift. They had never really settled that topic of conversation, just pushed it aside.

He jumped up from the stool, "Oh, is that our daughter I hear?" He ran toward their bedroom and gave her a quick glance over his shoulder. "_The art of love….. It is mostly the art of persistence."_


	29. Chapter 29

**Wow, two chapters in one day. **

**I have to respond to a few reviews that have worried me about Kate's actions being a little OOC. I didn't intend this story to be about cases and only slip that stuff in when I need it to further the story. This is more about exploring how I hope Kate will go from running away from her feelings to embracing them. So, I hope we can all just imagine that in between these scenes, she and Castle are still going to work every day and solving cases. Sort of like when the show intermixes scenes with Castle, Martha and Alexis while still solving the cases. **

**I think the wedding will be next. I am having trouble even trying to write anything about the Captain, so I haven't decided if he will attend or not. Let me know how you all feel about that. Right now it just seems wrong to have him there, but I know, this is an AU.**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Kate sat on the side of the bed holding the small compact in her hand. She hadn't noticed until last night that she was ready to start a new month. Now, holding the new set of birth control pills in her hand she hesitated. She thought back to the discussion she had with her OB/GYN, Dr. Candace, a week earlier.

"_Ok, what is it you wanted to discuss Kate?" _

_Kate felt silly asking, "Well, as I told you, I'm getting married in a few weeks. Rick and I have discussed having children." She realized she was smiling uncontrollably at the thought, but couldn't seem to help it. "We haven't really discussed a time frame but I'm sure we will want to be pregnant before my next annual appointment." The doctor just nodded, "So, I guess I need to know what all is involved." Kate laughed, "You know what I mean."_

"_Yes, I know what you mean_. _Well you're young and in extremely good health, so I don't foresee anything inhibiting your ability to become pregnant." Dr. Candace gave her an odd look, "I know your fiancé is a little bit older." She could see Kate's questioning look. "I must admit, I'm a fan of Mr. Castle's work."_

_Kate blushed and was surprised at her own boldness, "Yeah, so am I."_

"_Anyway, I assume he's in pretty good physical condition as well and a man's biological clock, if you will, usually extends many years beyond a woman's child bearing years."_

_Kate spoke up again, "Yes, believe me I am well acquainted with his virility."_

_Dr. Candace had trouble containing a chuckle but continued. "Really it's pretty straightforward. Once you decide to start trying I would suggest you finish up the pack of birth control you're on. Some women choose to use other methods of prevention for about another month or so to allow for a complete cycle before trying, but in my opinion that isn't necessary. Also, at that time call my office and I can prescribe some pre-natal vitamins it's always good to be taking those before conception. And finally, once you start trying you should discontinue drinking alcohol and anything containing caffeine." _

_Kate nodded, "Is that it?"_

_Dr. Candace just smiled, "Well, that and just enjoy yourself."_

Kate chuckled to herself. She couldn't help but wonder how it was that for the last fifteen years it seemed getting pregnant would require no more than a missed pill or a failed piece of latex, but now that she was actually considering the prospect she had had a million questions regarding how to go about it. As she stared into space she didn't notice Castle enter the room nor did she hear him calling her name. Finally he sat down next to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

"Kate, where'd you go there?"

She snapped out of her fog and shook her head slightly, "Nowhere, just thinking."

He took the pack of pills from her hand and opened them. He could see that she hadn't yet taken one. "Just thinking? About birth control or about the consequences of what the lack of birth control can lead to?"

She turned and looked into his face. She could see the hope in his eyes. He made no secret of his desire to have children with her and neither had she in fact, but they had never really talked about the when. It always seemed so far off, but right now she couldn't think of a reason to wait.

"I feel like I'm ready," She took the plastic from his hand and placed the medicine on the nightstand.

He finished her thought, "But it scares you." She noticed it wasn't a question.

"To death."

He took her hand, "What part?"

"All parts." She began to chew on her bottom lip. "Doesn't it scare you?"

"Only in that it does you."

He scooted up the bed and leaned against the headboard. He pulled her back with him and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. It had become their favorite place to work out any issues they were facing. Lately when working a tough case they would come home and climb into bed and sit and build theory together; no murder board and no distractions, well except each other. More times than not they would arrive at the precinct the next morning with fresh ideas. Ryan and Esposito would just shake their heads and laugh.

"Okay, so let's talk about this." Castle kissed her temple.

Kate sighed, "Rick, we don't have to. The wedding is still two weeks away, we can wait until after. I'm sure you don't want to be changing diapers before our first anniversary."

"Kate, it takes more than talking to make a baby, and I would be perfectly happy to be changing diapers by then. The question is would you?" When she didn't answer he pushed forward, "Hit me with the three things that scare you the most."

"Honestly the whole pregnancy thing kind of freaks me out. And don't go patronizing me about how beautiful it is and the glowing thing. I mean _life's tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside._"

"First of all, please don't take any parenting advice from Rita Rudner." He nipped the tip of her ear. "And, since you're already the most beautiful woman on earth and you couldn't possibly glow any more than you already do. I don't see the issue. Next."

Kate nudged him in the ribs, but continued she knew he would get serious at some point, but for now the levity of his responses was doing her a world of good. "There's my job."

"Yeah, you'll be the coolest mom on career day. You can show them your badge and take them to target practice." He braced himself for another jab, but she just huffed instead. "And number three?"

"I'm not so sure I'll be good at it."

"Well Miss Beckett that's why you have me!"

Castle patted his lap. She scooted over and sat between his legs with her back against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and she grabbed his forearms. She could feel him placing light kisses in her hair. She knew the serious side was coming.

"Look, I can't help you with the pregnancy part." She felt his smirk against her cheek. "Except the actual getting you pregnant part, I'm pretty sure I will play a _big_ role in that." This time she didn't disappoint and he let out a loud grunt once her elbow met his rib. "Seriously, I can't imagine what it would be like to have another human being growing inside me, but millions of women do it; most of them willingly, so it must not be too awful." He kissed her cheek, "And you know I will be here every step of the way. You won't be alone for any of it."

Kate fidgeted with his hands while he spoke, but then laced her fingers in his. "Of that I have no doubt. You haven't left me alone for three years now." Her tone was joking but they both knew what she meant.

He address her other fears. "Yes, your job is dangerous but we've already decided that we can't put our lives on hold for fear of the 'what ifs'. You'll just have to make sure you do your best to come home safe to us every night." He placed his hands across her chest holding her so close that their hearts almost beat as one. "And it isn't even possible that you won't be good at it so we don't even need to discuss it. You're extraordinary in everything you do; motherhood will be no different."

Kate turned in his lap and straddled him. She placed her hands to each side of his face. "I don't know if I'm ready to give up my partner. I can't imagine the precinct without you."

He gave her a little peck on the lips, "Look we don't have to decide everything at once. Babies do take a while to bake you know." He took a second to squeeze her backside before continuing. "And I will _always_ be your partner that will never change. It's only the logistics that will different. You could come home to me and our perfectly pudgy little Caskett babies and fill me in on the case. We don't have to be at the twelfth to build theory. We both know that."

She smiled and gave him another kiss but shook her head. "First of all they will be Castle babies." It had already been decided that for professional reasons she would not change her name, but she fully intended that their children would have their father's. "Secondly, no building theory in front of the babies, they will already be genetically predisposed to nightmares, we can't risk it." She leaned in for another deeper kiss.

Castle slipped his hands up under her nightshirt and found her breasts. "You know, I've heard pregnancy has other _perks_." He gave her breasts a little pinch as he accentuated the last word against her lips. Kate continued to work her lips against his, but she also gave him a little slap on the cheek as punishment for his little remark. He jerked his head back at the sting and used the moment to lift her shirt over her head. Then he nibbled her chin on his way to her ear, _"Love is all fun and games until someone loses an eye, or gets pregnant."_

Kate pulled back and spoke breathlessly as she unbuttoned his shirt. "Castle, why don't you shut up and show me just how _big _a part you can play." Her movements suddenly became feverish and he was eager to do as he was told.

An hour later they were naked and wrapped in each other's arms. Still breathless from the lovemaking session; Castle had his face tucked into her neck. He was only seconds from sleep as her heartbeat lulled him under. Suddenly his eyes flew open. He tilted his head up to look at her face. Her eyes were mere slits and he hated to disturb her…

"Uh, Kate?"

"Huh." She was almost out.

Castle turned over and grabbed the compact of the nightstand as he spoke, "Don't kill me but I think you forgot something." He held the pack in front of her droopy eyes.

She slowly reached up and took it from his hand, "Oh screw it." She reached behind her and dropped the medicine in the small bedside trashcan. "No regrets, right?"

Castle pulled her in closer, "I'll remind you of that when I arrive with your bear claw and a nice hot cup of decaf tomorrow morning."


	30. Chapter 30

**Duh-dum….. The long awaited wedding and as a little gift to you for attending, tooth decay. Yes, this chapter is that sappy. **

**This is a long one and there are still two more chapters to this story, the wedding reception and the night of. I am saving the last one as a special present for baterista9 and she knows why…**

**I don't own them but I do own the cavity I got from writing this…**

**xxxxxxxxx**

The autumn sun filled the room as Kate slowly opened her eyes. She had fallen asleep wrapped in his arms but woke alone. She and Rick had promised Alexis that they would at least pretend to care about tradition. So, in the attempt to _pretend,_ Rick made a nice little bed for himself on the sofa in the library, considering all bedrooms in their beachfront home were currently occupied with friends and family. However, once everyone settled in, he slipped up the stairs connecting the library to the master and joined her. He promised he would be gone by sunrise so no one would ever know he had actually seen his bride on the day of.

She stretched and turned to his side of their bed and breathed in the lingering scent of him. Her eyes fell on a small white note card propped where his head had been just a few hours earlier; it reminded her of a name card at a fancy dinner party. She ran her fingers over the familiar handwriting as it spelled out her name. Using her thumb she flipped it open. She couldn't help but smile as she read...

_'Woke up in bed with_ _a gorgeous woman, who I'm going to have lunch and the rest of my life with.' ~Jason Barmer_

_But I kept my eyes closed; didn't see a thing._

_Rick_

Kate held the card to her chest letting his words fill the physical void his absence created. She remained in the bed a few minutes longer; she needed time to prepare mentally for what this day would entail. She knew it would be a day full of memories and happiness; after all it was her wedding day. But reality told her there would also be tears; tears of joy and a few of sadness. Sadness created by the empty seat that should've held the mother of the bride.

Finally crawling out of bed, she noticed the tray of food on the small table in the sitting area of the large master bedroom. She stumbled over to find an omelet, juice and, most importantly, a cup of coffee that he had left for her. As long as he doctored it up the way she liked it, she could almost forget that it was decaf. Beside the tray was a vase with a single red rose and another note card. She sat and sipped the beverages, the juice was still cold and the coffee steamed. Before tasting the omelet she removed the card from the plastic forklike holder. She wondered how many of these she might find today. He had obviously decided to take there little game of quotations to the next level.

_'If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden.' ~Claudia Ghandi_

_I mean our garden._

_Rick_

Kate had barely finished breakfast when she heard a knock on the door. She knew who it was before asking. "Come on in Sweetie." In the last few days Alexis had become as, if not more, excited about this day then Kate and Rick. In fact, if the girl got more than a few hours sleep last night Kate would be shocked. She didn't envy Martha either; with Ryan, Jenny, Lanie, Esposito and Jim Beckett all staying in the house, grandmother and granddaughter had to share a room. Alexis bounded into the room and practically fell in Kate's lap.

"Good morning, Kate! Aren't you getting ready? The ceremony is at one o'clock." Alexis looked around the room; Kate assumed she was looking for the wedding dress, which still hung in the closet.

"Alexis, we have three hours. It doesn't take me that long to get ready for anything." Kate kissed her stepdaughter, actually adopted daughter and scooted her off her lap. She stood and slipped the two note cards into her nightstand drawer.

"I know I'm just excited."

"Girl, why haven't you showered yet?" Lanie's voice preceded her entrance into the room.

Kate rolled her eyes, "Not you too? I have plenty of time."

"No you don't, now move your ass and get showered. Throw on a robe and get out here." Lanie practically shoved Kate into the bathroom. "You put me in charge of hair and makeup so I make the rules."

xxxxxxxxxx

Rick met Jim and the boys in the front yard. They really had nothing to do until it was time to get ready for the ceremony, but everyone had been instructed to keep Rick out of the house as much as possible. Knowing he would try every trick in the book to sneak a peek at the bride, distraction was their best option.

Esposito could tell his friend was a nervous wreck, "What's up Bro, getting cold feet?" He nudged Rick's shoulder with his elbow.

Rick smiled, "No way. Just anxious to get this show on the road."

Ryan chimed in; "Man, and you guys thought I had it bad." They all laughed remembering the ribbing they gave him when he first fell for Jenny.

"I for one think it's wonderful."

Rick tapped Jim's arm as he sat on one of the chairs that had been placed in the garden for the wedding guests to sit on. "Thanks Jim."

Rick surveyed the area making sure everything was in place. He wanted it to be perfect, for her. He and Kate had decided on a small wedding; actually small may be an over-exaggeration. In fact it took him a while to talk Kate out of eloping with only Alexis present. She had even quoted one of her favorites writers to press her point, _"Marriage is a ghastly public confession of a strictly private intention._" So as a compromise, besides he and Kate, the only people that would witness their nuptials would be family and close friends. In attendance would be Alexis, Martha, Jim, Lanie, Esposito, Jenny, Ryan and Captain Montgomery. Everyone had driven out the night before, except for the Captain. Being three detectives short only allowed him enough time off to attend the ceremony. Judge Markoway had agreed to preside; he owned a home in the Hamptons and was going to be here this weekend anyway.

Their friends had at first been surprised that the ceremony was not going to be held on the beach, but he and Kate both loved the fall colors of the front garden and thought it would provide the perfect backdrop. Plus, the garden held special memories since they had spent many hours this summer cuddled together on one of the many benches reading books to one another. It only made sense that they would read their vows to each other there as well. The reception however was setup at the back of the house on the beach. The large tent was enclosed on three sides to protect against the cool October breeze but would provide a perfect view of the ocean.

Jim sat down next to his future son-in-law. He gave the two detectives a look and they meandered away knowing the men needed some time alone. "You know Rick, I need to thank you." Rick looked confused. "You gave me back my little girl."

"Jim, in case you haven't noticed, I'm actually about to take your little girl away." Rick swallowed hard; he had a feeling this conversation was going to leave them both emotional.

Jim continued as if he hadn't heard Rick's quip. "I let her down. When her mom died she needed me. She was only nineteen; she needed her father." Jim wrung his hands together. "I'm not really sure if it was her mom's murder that changed her or my neglect."

Rick had to cut in, "Jim, she loves you. She doesn't blame you for anything; you needed to grieve the loss of your wife."

"Rick, you're a father, you know your needs become secondary to the needs of your child. I was selfish and I paid the price. Yeah, Katie was there for me and saved me from my own demons, but I lost her respect in the process." The older man sighed. "I'm glad she found you, I know you've made her the priority that I didn't."

"I have Jim, I promise to spend the rest of my life making our family my priority." Rick continued. "I need to thank you. Without knowing it you and Johanna gave me a gift I could never repay."

Jim choked back the emotion, "Just love her Rick, that's the only thing I ask. Lover her like she deserves to be loved. Love her like I should have."

xxxxxxxxxx

Kate reluctantly shuffled into the bathroom. She wanted to savor this day and wasn't going to let anyone rush her, not even Lanie. She reached to fill the tub and found yet another card propped up by the knob.

"Seriously Rick?" Now she was talking to herself.

_'Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.' ~Robert Heinlein_

_Think about that as you swim around that giant tub and I'm relegated to the guest shower._

_Rick_

"Cry me a river, Ricky." She rolled her eyes, but couldn't hold back the grin that seemed to be already permanently affixed to her face today.

xxxxxxxxxx

"Richard!" Martha exited the front door of the house calling for her son. Spotting him instantly as he talked with Jim in the garden. She approached just as they finished up the conversation and Jim greeted her politely with a nod of the head as he left mother and son alone.

"Come to have _the_ talk with me Mother?" Rick kissed her cheek and hugged her. Despite the antagonism their conversations often held, Rick adored Martha and she felt the same for her only child.

"With the smile Kate's been wearing for the last few months I think you have that subject mastered." Rick's jaw dropped; unable to respond he just waited for her to continue. She placed her hand on his knee. "I just wanted you to know how proud I am to be your mother today. Actually everyday, but today even more."

"Thanks Mother, I love you too."

xxxxxxxxxx

After her bath Kate made her way to the adjoining closet. She put on her undergarments and, per Lanie's instructions, slipped on a silk robe. It was too early to put on the wedding dress, but she fingered the garment bag it was hanging in. She turned to go join the girls in the bedroom but caught a glimpse of something she didn't recognize. She approached the distinctly blue wrapped box that sat atop the built in jewelry box that Rick had been slowly filling since they became a couple. She usually wasn't one to wear much jewelry, but he usually put so much thought into each item that her aversion to bling was quickly fading. Like the pillow, rose and tub there was a card attached. She pulled the white ribbon and slid it loose.

'_My debt to you, Beloved, is one I cannot pay in any coin of any realm on any reckoning day.' ~Jessie B. Rittenhouse_

_But I'm going to try, let this be a down payment. _

_Rick_

Kate was pretty sure she knew what was in the box. She and Rick had gone to Tiffany's the previous week to buy a necklace for Alexis. While they looked for something perfect for their daughter Kate could tell he was watching her closely for signs of anything that caught her eye. She knew he wanted to get her something for their wedding day so she made it pretty easy for him. Opening the box she was not surprised to see the diamond tear drop earrings and matching necklace she had oohed over purposefully. The set was delicate and would look perfect with her wedding dress. She was however surprised to see a matching naval ring which she slipped on immediately, dropping the plain silver hoop she normally wore in the jewelry box below. She carried the box containing the less intimate items with her to face the music. Lanie was looking a little perturbed but Kate ignored it as she walked to the nightstand and slid the two additional cards into the drawer.

"Girl, it's a good thing I love you because otherwise I would smack you right now. Do you know how long you were in there?"

Kate just smiled at her friend and sat down in one of the director style chairs Alexis had insisted they needed for Lanie to do their hair and makeup. She wouldn't admit it but she hadn't actually meant to take over an hour. She looked at Alexis and was glad that they had put the time to good use. The teenager's hair was swept up into an up do with a few tendrils curled tightly around her face. She was wearing a chocolate brown cocktail length dress with the dark orange sash around the waist that tied in the back. She and Kate had picked it out on one of their many shopping trips.

"Alexis, you look beautiful." She couldn't help but lean over and kiss the youngster on the cheek. "You're going to break your Dad's heart one day. You know that right?"

Alexis held onto Kate's hand as Lanie began to fuss with Kate's hair. "I'll try to go easy on him."

xxxxxxxxxx

At noon, after getting the caterer and deejay settled in the tent on the beach, Rick showered and made his way to the library to get ready.

His couldn't believe this day had finally arrived. After three years of following her and falling for her she had finally let him in and now just six months later; today she was going to be his wife. He couldn't help be wonder how he had been so fortunate. He had been blessed with the most so wonderful child any man could ask for. He still had no idea how she turned out to perfect. He knew he was pushing his luck to even think he had a chance with a woman as perfect as Katherine Beckett, but the heart wants what the heart wants, and his heart wanted her. The day she finally admitted that she wanted him just as much had been like a dream come true. Suddenly emotion began to overtake him and he struggled to button his shirt. He was sitting on the couch pulling himself together when he heard a knock at the door.

"Dad can I come in?" Alexis stuck her head in the door.

"Hey pumpkin." Rick took a deep breath and gathered the strength to button up his shirt as she walked sheepishly across the room. She wrapped him in a hug. When she finally stepped back he couldn't help but notice how grown up she looked. "You look beautiful." He whispered the words past the lump in his throat.

"Thanks Dad, you look pretty handsome yourself." Alexis helped him with his tie. It was cream colored silk and matched Kate's dress perfectly. "Kate asked me to give this to you." Alexis held out a small box that looked distinctively like the one he had slipped into their closet earlier this morning.

"Thanks," Rick took the gift from his daughter, "How is she doing?"

Alexis beamed, "She's doing great. She seems to be enjoying the day. In fact she's more relaxed than I've ever seen her. I guess that's how it should be when you're about to marry _the one_,"

Rick ran his fingers through his hair, "Yeah you would think, but I'm a wreck."

Alexis took has hands and guided him to the couch, "Dad, you have nothing to be a wreck about. She loves you and you love her. The two of you are going to have a wonderful life together." Alexis thought about the last six months. "Actually, you already have a wonderful life together."

"Thanks Pumpkin." Rick blew out a puff of air and stood to finish getting ready.

Alexis took that as her hint to go but needed to say one more thing. "Hey Dad, thanks."

"For what?"

"Everything," With that she left her father alone to finish getting ready.

Finally completely dressed Rick reached for the box Alexis had delivered to him. He opened the small card and a grin graced his lips as he saw the familiar handwriting unique to his love and read.

_'For you see, each day I love you more; today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow.' ~Rosemonde Gerard_

_Always, Kate_

He slid the lid off to reveal a set of cufflinks that perfectly match the earrings and necklace she would be wearing today. Rick just shook his head. He should have known he could never pull one over on the great detective. He quickly put them on and made his way to the garden, to his destiny.

xxxxxxxxxx

Kate stood alone in the master bedroom. She was watching her own reflection in the full length mirror. She wanted to look perfect for him. Much like the wedding was to be, her dress was simple and understated. She had chosen cream instead of white. It just seemed warmer somehow. The silk dress was floor length but had no volume to it. It clung to her body beginning with thin straps over her shoulders and a modest neckline only showing the very tops of the mounds of her breasts. It was form fitting but not structured as it skimmed her hips and floated to the ground around her feet. The most revealing aspect was the back, or lack thereof. Much like the dress she wore to the fundraiser in the spring; the night her dreams of being with Richard Castle began to come true, this dress was almost completely lacking in the back, with just one strap falling below her shoulder blades. She was thankful the fall weather had been mild so far, but either way she was not likely to get cold. Not as long as Rick's hands found their way to her uncovered skin. Just the mere touch of his fingertips could keep her warm forever. He checked her hair one more time. Similar to Alexis, she wore it up with just a few loose tendrils, only Lanie had lefts hers less curly than Alexis's. They just flowed softly around her face.

Lanie and Jenny were most likely already outside, as were Alexis and Martha. She was just waiting on her dad to escort her out. In her hand was yet another card. It had been attached to the zipper of the garment bag holding her dress. She didn't want read it in front of the women. So much of this day was going to be public, for lack of a better word. She wanted to keep as much of it as she could between him and her. With shaky hands she flipped it open and a laugh immediately escaped her lips.

_'A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together.' ~James H. Boren_

_No, I didn't peek; just wishful thinking. _

_Rick_

She slipped the card in the nightstand with the others and turned to the knock at the door. "Come on in Dad."

Jim Beckett was speechless. He had never seen a sight as beautiful as his only daughter in her wedding dress. He often told her how much she looked like her mother, but today she outshined even his dearly departed wife. He hugged her and kissed her cheek before motioning for her to sit on the bed next to him for a moment.

"Katie, I have something for you. I know you and Rick aren't into tradition, but I remembered that old saying about something old and new and borrowed and blue."

Kate laughed, "Something like that but you're right I didn't really…"

Her dad cut her off, "I know but humor me. It can count as old, blue and borrowed because I want it back."

Kate gave him an odd look, "Well I'm wearing Mom's ring so I guess that counts as old." She showed her dad her right ring finger. "Rick got me this necklace and these earrings so those could be new. All I need is borrowed and blue, so I think you have it covered. What is it?"

Jim pulled a blue cloth from his pocket. "See on our wedding day your mom panicked. She had completely forgotten about the something blue." Jim shook his head, "It's amazing how something so trivial can cause such a tizzy on a wedding day. Finally I remembered the handkerchief my father, your grandfather, had shoved into my pocket earlier in the day." He handed the simple piece of cotton to his daughter. "I gave this to your grandmother and asked her to take it to Johanna." Kate could see the tears in her father's eyes and she was sure hers held the same. "Then a few years later, on the day you were born I went into total daddy panic and started rambling on about graduation and prom and weddings. Your mom laughed at me and reached into her purse. She had been carrying it around since then. She handed it to me." Jim wiped is cheeks, the tears were silently flowing now. "Do you know what she said?"

Kate's voice cracked, "No, what?"

"She said she was once given a magic handkerchief and somehow it had calmed all her fears and she thought maybe it could do the same for me." He placed his hand on Kate's cheek. "I can see that you aren't panicking so you don't need its magic calming powers, but I thought…."

"Oh Daddy, I would be honored." Kate hugged him. "I love you."

Jim stood, "Okay, we better get going before that man of yours requires the use of that magic handkerchief. He's a mess today."

A few minutes later Kate found herself standing at the entrance to the garden. Her left arm was hooked into her father's right. Everyone that meant anything to her and Rick was there. Before they made their way forward her father pointed to a small card stuck in the rosebush to her right. She removed it and flipped it open.

_'The hours I spend with you I look upon as sort of a perfumed garden, a dim twilight, and a fountain singing to it. You and you alone make me feel that I am alive. Other men it is said have seen angels, but I have seen thee and thou art enough.' ~George Edward Moore_

_Now get down here so I can marry you already. _

_Rick_

The string quartet began to play and she took a deep breath before she and her dad began to move, turning toward her favorite part of the garden, she finally saw him. She had fully intended on taking it all in. The music, the flowers, the multi-colored leaves and the faces of her friends and family, but now she had tunnel vision. Her eyes locked on his and the world melted away. Her heart began to beat faster and she just wanted to get to him. His smile was infectious and she repaid his with her own. She saw the adam's apple bob in his throat and she too had to swallow back the emotion rising in her chest. God, she loved that man. Finally after what seemed like years, she reached him.

Rick stood next to Javier and across from his daughter and waited. Time seemed to stand still. His best man could feel his tension and just patted his shoulder. Finally the music began and she came into view. His knees went weak and his breath caught in his throat. She was the most spectacular sight he had ever seen. He couldn't help but smile as she made her way to him on her father's arm. Her eyes locked with his and no one else existed in that moment. He watched as she handed Alexis the bundle of flowers she had been carrying. She caressed their daughter's face before turning to him. They joined hands, but not before Kate slipped the small card into his pocket.

"Hey," She whispered.

"Hey yourself."

Judge Markoway began, "We all know the couple we are here to support as they make a commitment to joining their lives. And since we all know them, I don't have to tell you that they have asked that I don't do the typical wedding stuff. So that being said, Rick and Kate have written their own vows and wish to read them at this time."

Rick cleared his throat to speak. He squeezed Kate's hand and hoped he could get through this without completely breaking down. He rubbed circles on the backs of her hands as he gathered his thoughts.

"Kate, I know I suggested that we write our own vowels. How hard could it be, I'm a writer? Well, I quickly learned that it was impossible. Impossible to expect that there are even words to describe you. I tried, believe me, this is one time that I couldn't let writer's block win. However, no matter how hard I tried I came up with nothing. There are no words to describe the depth of your strength, the volume of your heart and the magnitude of your beauty. I know I know, much to your dismay, I'm never speechless but in this I am. All I can say is thank you. Thank you for being my friend, thank you for being my partner and thank you for loving me. I will spend every day that I have breath cherishing you, honoring you and loving you. Always."

Rick brought her hands to his lips and gave them each a kiss before placing his grandmother's ring on her finger. He had tears threatening to break free from his lashes and Kate used the flat palm of her hand to wipe them away.

"Kate, it's your turn." The judge encouraged her.

Kate reached into the tiny pocket of her dress, she had to assume it was intended for tissues but it only held a blue cloth and her vows ; she pulled out the piece of paper. She chuckled and looked to the crown for a moment.

"Sorry, I'm not a writer so I had to write mine down." Everyone laughed and she once again focused on her partner. "I have to admit, I wasn't thrilled when you suggested we write our own vows, but knew it was something you would want to do, so I hope I did you justice." Kate unfolded the paper and held it with on hand while Rick continued to caress the other one wrapped in his.

"Words…

Words are what started this… This You and Me… This Us…

Your words…

Mysterious words on the pages I read to help ease my grief

Agitating words I tried to ignore just hoping you would disappear

Insightful words deciphering the how and why of the unfathomable

Funny words I laughed at as I held you at arms length yet held nonetheless

Tender words I clung to when my world seemed on the verge of exploding

Promising words that cracked the shell of fear that ensconced me

Loving words that wrench yet swell my heart as I beg to hear more

Words describing you…

Son: The name given to you by merely existing

Author: The name you chose when you placed pen to paper

Father: The name not chosen yet guides your every breath

Friend: The name given to you by everyone that you touch

Partner: The name earned through perseverance and at times pure brute force

Lover: The name reserved for only my lips to whisper

Spoken words…

Between us they have become obsolete

I see them in your eyes as you gaze upon my face

I hear them in your heartbeat as you embrace my body

I feel them in your fingertips as you caress my skin

Pairs of words…

Today we officially embark on the two words we began oh so long ago…

Our Life…

Today you will become the two words that you have yet to ever be…

My Husband…

Today I say the two words that I have yet to say…

I Do…

_The_ word…

There is one word that makes all the other words possible

One word that allows for Laughter, for Tenderness, and for Promises

One word and one word only…

Love…

I love you…"

By the time she was done reading her hands were shaking and she was moments away from sobbing. Alexis was trying to hand her the ring. Rick had to take it from his daughter and help her place it on his finger. Finally he used his thumbs to wipe the moisture from her cheeks and from under her nose. He wiped them on his pants and returned them to her face. He traced her lips and whispered in her ear. Neither of them really heard what the judge said next but they knew what they were expected to do.

Rick slid his arms around her back and ran them down the bare skin he found there. Kate's hands slide under his arms and up his strong back. Their eyes never broke contact as he leaned down to join their lips. They were both smiling and for a second a kiss seemed impossible as their teeth were mere millimeters apart. Finally the heat between them began to smolder and their lips met. He could taste the salt from her tears on her mouth and he licked it away. She opened her mouth to him and was sure he tasted sweeter than he ever had before.

The judge cleared his throat expecting them to separate but they were clearly not ready so he just continued. Only upon hearing his final words did they part.

"…Mr. and Mrs. Richard Castle."

Kate gave him a raised eyebrow, "Come on; just let me have it for the day. Tomorrow you can be Kate Beckett, today just be Mrs. Castle."


	31. Chapter 31

**Well if yesterday's chapter didn't have you running to the dentist this one surely will. Yes, it is that sappy, but I love it anyway. It's high fructose corn syrup sweet. It may have been my favorite chapter to write so far. Again, there is one more chapter and I will be sure to give a special shout out to some of you that have been faithful reviewers.**

**In this chapter they will dance to a song that I don't name because we have heard it before, and the title of my story is actually the name of the song. I figured everyone would catch on but for those of you that have been with me since the beginning it may be hard to remember all the details from earlier chapters.**

**I don't own them but I do own the Carpal Tunnel that I developed writing this one. Oh, and the sore cheeks from grinning like a fool.**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Rick and Kate sat arm in arm. The photographer took his last photo of the newly married couple and made his way toward the beach to the reception tent. Rick had insisted on the photographer. He wanted memories of this day to be preserved for her, for him and for their children.

They both knew their friends and family would be expecting them soon, but they needed a minute alone, to just be. What took place a mere hour ago was intense for both of them; beautiful but intense.

"Can you believe it?" Rick kissed her bare shoulder as she leaned against his chest.

"Yes"

"Thank you"

Kate wasn't sure what he was thanking her for, "Hmm?"

"For what you wrote… read... said... It was beautiful." He pulled her body in closer; he had missed her all morning and now he couldn't get enough of her; his wife.

"Thank you"

It was his turn to be confused, "For what?"

"Everything"

Rick remembered the conversation with Alexis earlier. She had said the exact same thing. "Why is it the women in my life thank me when I am just so grateful to be allowed to orbit in the same galaxy as the two of you."

Kate stifled a little laugh. A few years ago she would have considered a remark like that a line, but now she knows his heart; knows his sincerity. He really has no idea what he is; what he does. As an author and a celebrity he seems so self-aware, but as a father and lover he seems not to know the extent of his devotion, the depth of his passion or the imprint he has embedded onto their lives. She made a mental note; if ever she found herself to be the mother of his son, she would be sure to listen to everything Martha had to say. Somehow the free-spirited no-rules-apply woman had raised the perfect man. He was by no means a perfect person. Most of the time he was stubborn, loud, childish and had the attention span of a gnat, but when it came to her or Alexis or even Martha, for that matter, he was perfect.

"Do we have to go in there?" Kate just wanted to stay with him, here on the bench in their garden, wrapped in his embrace.

"Want me all to yourself huh?" He tickled her sides, "Sorry, I think you may have to share me, at least for a little while. I promise I'll make it up to you later."

Kate twisted in his arms and her mouth met his. He cupped one hand under her chin and the other supported the back of her head. The kiss was slow and sensual; there was no biting or teasing. They just shared the moment; shared each other. Finally giving in Kate pulled back and rested her head on his chin while they caught their breath. Then she stood and reached for his hand.

"Come on husband, it's time to show you off." They made their way to the beach hand in hand.

The tent was decorated beautifully yet simply. The lights strung throughout were hard to notice in the light of day, but were sure to add a nice glow later; it would only be a few more hours before the autumn sun would set. There were only five tables scattered around an intimate dance floor. They had considered a banquet style table but settled on a two top for each couple. Lanie and Esposito were already seated having scooted their chairs next to each other facing the dance floor. Ryan and Jenny were getting drinks at the bar and Jim and Martha; not finding it awkward that they were seated together, were in deep conversation. Alexis didn't seem to notice the fifth. Kate and Rick's table was slightly larger than the others and the third chair was intended for their teenager, well only until Ashley showed up in an hour or so. He was flying in from Stanford to surprise her, he just wasn't able to get a flight early enough to make the ceremony. Her parents both knew how much she had been missing him since he left for college at the end of summer. Plus, he hadn't seen her since before her surgery; he had clearly been worried.

In addition to the tables, dance floor and bar; the corny deejay from Kate's mom's charity benefit was back, as well. The couple greeted him as they entered the tent. When planning the afternoon it only seemed appropriate that he be called upon. Somehow it brought things full circle. This small tight knit family had been there the day it all started, and they were all here to witness the Castle's taking the next step.

Once the couple of the hour arrived on scene the party swung into full gear. Appetizers were first and everyone seemed to be starving. The music played and the food and drink flowed. No one seemed to notice that Kate was only drinking water or ginger ale. As far as she knew she wasn't pregnant yet, but was following her doctor's advice to the letter. She wanted so badly to be carrying Rick's child and was making sure that once she was she would do everything in her power to get it right. It wasn't until halfway through the meal that she noticed the card under her plate.

'_Anybody who believes that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach flunked geography.' ~Robert Byrne_

_And yes, there will be a pop quiz later._

_Rick_

She kicked his shin under the table; he was talking to Alexis so anything more drastic would have garnered questions she didn't want to have to answer. He gave her the squinty-eyed grin he knew turned her to putty and just simply took the card from her hand slipping it into his jacket pocket to join the one from the garden. Finally the deejay turned down the music and called for Kate and Rick to make their way to the dance floor. Kate took him by the hand and led the way. Just as he had for the last three years, he gladly followed. Once all eyes were on them the deejay spoke up again.

"Kate and Rick will be dancing their first dance as husband and wife to the same song they danced to a few months back; I guess it has kind of become their song."

The music began and Rick's hands found her lower back immediately as she draped her hands over his shoulders. His cheek grazed hers as they danced and whispered. Their guests watched Rick smile and place his lips on her neck as he spoke between kisses. Kate blushed and ducked her head momentarily to hide the obvious grin on her face. Occasionally their eyes would meet and then their lips, unaware of the audience that looked on. No one seemed surprised as they watched Rick's hand sweep across Kate's backside, but Alexis did feel the need to drop her gaze momentarily. The connection between the couple was palpable in the air and all thoughts of murder and corpses and missing boyfriends and deceased spouses seemed to float away.

Once the song ended and the couple parted, Rick spoke. Kate seemed surprised at his words. He kept his arm around her waist, not wanting to be more than mere inches from her. "When we were planning this little shindig I decided I needed to find a song that could relay the experience of..." His words trailed off and moisture filled his eyes; he struggled to hold back the emotion. Kate leaned into his side and similar to the way she had during the ceremony, wiped his eyes with her palm. He cleared his throat, "I'm not a religious man but even I have to concede to a higher power on this one." He nodded to the deejay and the music began. Once again he faced his wife and cupped her chin in his hands.

Kate was surprised that he had snuck in a song without her knowing it. They had planned much of the music together. As she wiped his tears and heard his words she could honestly say she had no idea what the song would be. She gripped his waist while he cupped her face. The glow in his eyes weakened her knees and he knew it. He slid his hands down her shoulders and pulled her in to support her weight. She rested her head on his shoulder. She felt him shiver when her first breath hit his neck. He kissed the jaw that was angled up for him to adore. She peppered his neck with kisses, "I love you" she whispered.

"Shh, just listen Kate." One of his hands moved to caress the side of her face as the song began.

_I was taught to believe  
Never to doubt  
The man up above knows what he's talkin about  
So when I heard that voice  
So loud and clear  
Speak to my heart  
I knew that she must be near  
_

_The Maker said take her and love her forever  
Take care of her for life  
And treat her right_

Of course she had never heard the song before, but it didn't matter. Kate was now sobbing into his neck. He just kissed her gently everywhere; her cheek her hair her shoulder. He even pulled her palm to his lips and kissed the sensitive spot in the center before she slipped the hand into his hair.

_I never was the one  
To listen very well  
I walked my own way  
And felt what I felt Further out of touch  
With the master plan  
Well she was like a flight to the promised land  
_

_The Maker said take her and love her forever  
Take care of her for life  
Never forsake her don't be a heart breaker  
The Maker said take her  
And treat her right  
Just treat her right_

Rick pulled back and raised her face from his shoulder. He kissed the saline from her cheeks.

_He placed an angel in the palm of my hand  
And for once in my life I obeyed his commands  
_

With his hands still on the sides of her face, she covered his left with hers. She could feel the heat of his breath pass her fingers as he whispered the last refrain in her ear.

_I'll take her and love her forever  
Take care of her for life  
Never forsake her don't be a heart breaker  
The Maker said take her  
And treat her right  
Just treat her right_

As the music ended they held just held each other. As far as they were concerned no one else existed in this moment. Kate clung to his broad shoulders and he rubbed her back with a gentleness that spoke volumes. When silence filled the tent Rick whispered in her ear once more. _"Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place."_ After one more kiss to her shoulder they parted and the deejay continued.

"Okay, before we do the traditional Father-Daughter dance Kate and Rick ask that you all indulge them once more" While the deejay spoke Rick removed a small box from his jacket pocket. "Alexis, would you please join your parents on the dance floor?" Kate and Rick both motioned for Alexis to join them. They could see the shocked looked on her face.

Rick spoke first and as he did he opened the box containing the diamond necklace he and Kate had selected for her. It contained three diamonds the smallest one on top with two more below it; each larger than the one before. "Alexis, I want to thank you. You have been," he shook his head, "you are the light of my life. I'll never know what I did right to deserve you, but I've never been one to look a gift horse in the mouth, so I won't start now. Just know that no matter where you are or how old you get, you will always be my little girl, my first love." Alexis cried as her father placed the necklace around her neck and kissed her head. She rested her cheek on his chest and watched Kate.

"Alexis," Kate rubbed the cheek that wasn't pressed against Ricks' chest. "I need to thank you _and_ make you a promise. I thank you for accepting me into your family with open arms. I thank you for sharing your father with me. Actually, I should probably thank you for not letting him mame or kill himself during one of his crazy schemes." Everyone laughed and Kate placed her free hand on Rick's face to ease the sting of the verbal jab. "I promise to do my best to love him and you with as much…" she couldn't think of the word to convey feelings so she settled for a sound effect, "oommff as you have shown me. And finally I promise to give you the one thing your father has denied you all these years." Alexis looked a little confused as Kate smiled and finished her speech, "siblings." Before anyone could react Kate threw a glare across the tent to her best friend. She could see the ME's wide eyes and gaping mouth. "Shut up Lanie, I am not pregnant." Kate then looked back to her husband and waggled an eyebrow, "yet."

"Well this is certainly turning out to be an entertaining party." The deejay interjected. "Mr. Beckett please join Kate on the dance floor."

Jim did as he was asked and he and Kate danced while Rick and Alexis did the same. They all moved in silence. No words were needed. The two fathers held their daughters as memories of first steps and first words played across their minds' eye. They remembered first days of school and first dances and first loves. Jim thought about his wife and how she would have loved to have been here to see this day but quickly realized a truth that he was sure his Katie had realized long before now. Had Johanna been alive this day may not have come to pass. Yes, their daughter would have most likely gotten married but he was not so sure she would have found her soul mate. He wondered how bittersweet that moment of realization must have tasted to his only child. As if reading his mind Kate laid her head on his shoulder.

"I know Dad; a life without either of them is unfathomable. I like to think of them as runners in a relay race and I'm the baton. Mom ran the first leg with speed and elegance. Rick will run the second with strength and if I have anything to say about it; he will run it very slowly."

Kate suddenly felt her mother-in-law's hand on her back. Martha was passing by them on her way to Rick and Alexis. Kate watched as Martha cut in and pointed to someone waiting on the edge of the dance floor. Ashley had arrived and Alexis squealed with excitement. Rick reluctantly let her go and his mother became his consolation prize. Once the song was over Rick and Kate found each other once again.

Remembering her from the charity event the deejay addressed Lanie. "Okay Dr. Parish how about we shake this place up and really celebrate?"

Everyone made their way from the tables and joined the bride and groom for more dancing. Much like that Good Friday evening some months ago, the music was eclectic and fun. Everyone danced and sang and drank and laughed. Finally, as the sun began to set Rick led Kate away from their friends. He grabbed the shawl from the back of her chair and led her to the beach. The late October night air was cool, but clean and crisp. She wondered where they were going until she noticed a small bonfire on the beach. There was also a large double lounge with some pillows settled in the sand. He sat down and motioned for her to sit down between his legs. She leaned into his chest; he wrapped her shawl around her shoulders and hugged her to his body. He didn't want her to be cold.

"Are you thirsty?"

Kate fiddled with his hand and spun the wedding ring around on his finger. She couldn't imagine that Martha's dad would have larger hands than Rick, but nonetheless the ring was loose. They had decided to wait until after the wedding to have it sized; hers fit exactly right and somehow enhance the large diamond of her engagement ring. He slipped and fluted glass into her hand. "It's sparkling cider." He drank some too.

"Do you think they've even noticed that we left?"

"Probably not but if so I'm sure they'll understand. After all…" His words trailed as he refilled her glass and pointed to the card dangling from the stem. She untied the ribbon and read what he wrote.

'_A fellow ought to save a few of the long evenings he spends with his girl till after they're married.' ~Kin Hubbard_

_I figured I this evening should be the first of many._

_Rick_

She handed him the card to keep with the rest. "That sounds like a good plan." Her voice suddenly sounded drowsy so he took her glass from her and threw a blanket over them both. He loved to listen to her talk but never more than when she was fighting sleep. She rambled on and on about anything and everything. It was one of her most unguarded times. "Did you see Lanie's face? I think she almost spit a carrot across the room." Rick knew she wasn't really looking for a response so he just listened. "My dad, he missed my mom so much today, I could see it in his eyes." She yawned and choked back some emotion. Rick knew she had missed her as well. He just held her tighter and rocked her back and forth in his arms as her words came slower and slower. "I think Alexis liked the necklace, but she liked seeing Ashley more. Do you really think she will go to stanf…" She was out.

It was only somewhere around six or seven o'clock. The festivities weren't over, they still had some cake to cut but for now he would let her rest. He planned on keeping her up much of the night anyway, so a little catnap right now wouldn't hurt either of them. He listened to her breathing and to the music as it spilled out of the tent just a few hundred feet away and finally followed her into slumber.

"Dad"

Alexis was shaking his shoulder trying to wake him up. Rick looked down to see Kate still completely out like a light in his lap. "Hey Pumpkin, what time is it?"

"It's after nine. I think everyone wants some dessert. Are you two coming back?"

"Yeah, let me wake her up, we'll be right there." He watched Alexis as she trudged up the beach. He then reached down and gave Kate a little nudge, "Kate honey wake up. We need to go cut the cake."

Kate stretched and turned in his arms. She smiled up at him, "Hey." Just that one word had his heart pounding and his face broadening into a smile. She wondered what he was thinking. "What?"

"I just watched my wife wake up in my arms for the first time. It was amazing." She slapped his chest. "Ooh, that was the first time you slapped me as my wife."

She sat up and gave him the look, "Seriously Rick, if you keep that up you won't have to wait long for the second one."

"Ooh is that a promise? You know I like it when you play rough."

"Castle!"

Rick just smiled and she gave him the_ don't_ _you dare_ look, but of course he would dare. "That's the first time you called me Castle as my wife."

"Oh my god, please, let's go cut the cake. Maybe you will shut up if there is food in your mouth."

Kate stood to walk back up the beach, but he was on her in a second. He pulled her in for a heated kiss. His hands possessively grabbed her bottom and she moaned into his mouth. He pulled her down to the lounge and covered her body with his. They teased and groped before finally coming up for air. He kissed the tip of her nose before jumping up from the lounge leaving her cold and breathless. He reached out his hand and yanked her up into his arms. Who needs cake _when "__A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous."_

"Rick, if I kissed you every time I wanted you to shut up I would never get anything done." Kate teased him as she tried to straighten her hair. Between the nap and the necking the pins Lanie used to keep her hair up were now falling out. Rick reached up and helped her remove each and every bobble until her hair fell in waves around her shoulders. He ran his fingers through it from scalp to tip and then leaned in to her ear.

"Oh you would most definitely get something done."

"Richard Castle! Do not say it…" She waved her finger at him in mock warning.

"What?"

"You know what." She grabbed his hand and pulled him up the beach.

"I can't help it. _The natural man has only two primal passions, to get and beget."_

She turned stopping his ascent with her hand to his chest. "I mean it, if you continue this conversation, not only will you not _be-getting." _She accentuated the last two words, "any of this." She pointed to herself. "But, you may find yourself getting shot as well."

"Hey Castle, you want me to arrest her for domestic violence?" unbeknownst to them Ryan and Esposito were standing a few feet away. They had been sent by the ladies to retrieve the newlyweds.

"Yeah Bro, you may be the first guy in history to spend his wedding night on the couch."

Before Kate could nail them both with one of her patented desk duty threats, Lanie stepped out of the tent. She had apparently heard the boys' jabs. Unfortunately for Kate she was on their side tonight. "Javier, I don't think Writer Boy would mind that too much. By the looks of My Girl here he may have already gotten lucky on his wedding night."

Kate's cheeks turned bright red and she huffed as she ran her fingers through her hair. "Lanie Parrish! My dad is in there!"

When they finally joined the ME next to the tent, Lanie spoke to Rick but was a little quieter. "I hope it was worth it Castle, she looks like she means business now."

Rick just winked at Lanie and pinched Kate's behind eliciting a yelp and another playful slap. "Lanie, you have no idea."

Once back inside the tent Kate and Rick quickly cut the cake and after a few more dances it was time to call it a night. Even though everyone had stayed at the house the previous night and Rick and Kate would not be flying out until later the next day for two weeks in Hawaii, all the guests decided to book rooms at the nearest hotel for the night. It was obviously unspoken, but all involved felt the couple should have their home to themselves. Rick and Kate sat together on the large front porch while everyone gathered their things and piled into their cars to head out. They thanked their friends for making the day special and watched them pull out of the drive. Martha would be driving Alexis and Ashley back to the city the next day so they took an extra few minutes to say goodbye.

"Same rules apply, we will call you every day." Kate hugged Alexis and kissed her head. "I'll miss you, have fun visiting with Ashley and keep your grandmother in line."

Rick was next, "Okay kiddo, we will see you in two weeks. Oh, and don't have too much fun with Ashley."

"Dad, come on."

"Just kidding, tell your grandmother she has to keep all parties under fifty guests and I charge double for all alcohol I have to replace." He knew his mother was within ear shot and gave her a playful wink.

Once everyone was gone and it was just the two of them they stood arm in arm and stared at the front door. Rick looked down at Kate's feet; she had lost her shoes hours ago. He could only assume they would find them somewhere on the beach tomorrow. He scooped her up bridal style and before crossing the threshold, gave her a sideways smile.

"What?" Kate grinned from ear to ear.

"I was just thinking."

"Oh boy, that could be dangerous." She kissed his lips softly.

"I already have you two thirds of the way there."

She looked confused, "Do I even want to know?"

He waggled his eyebrows, "Married and barefoot, how 'bout you let me finish the hat trick and get you pregnant?"


	32. Chapter 32

**Here is the final chapter to this fic. I wanted to get it out last weekend as a little anniversary present to baterista9. Happy 29****th****by the way, albeit a little late. However, a slight family emergency came up and all my plans were shot to you know where. Don't worry nothing too serious and it is all cleared up now. Anyway this one is M rated, I mean it is their wedding night and all. I have decided to do a sequel to this one so keep an eye out in the next couple of days. I promised to give a shout out to a few special reviewers, but also want to say thank you to everyone that read this even if you didn't respond.**

**Actually, I am kind of glad I didn't have this written last week like I planned, after watching the short clip of Stana Katic singing in Zlin this week, I decided that Kate should do the same.**

**Anyway, a special thanks to the following:**

**shelshel14 – For the excessive use of emotocons ; )**

**phnxgrl – Just because that's a lot of love**

**Temp4Booth – For the many ego boosting compliments**

**baterista9 – For affirming that there are still good marriages out there**

**Amybf19 – For always being a step ahead of me**

**SunshinyKate – For the best use of metaphors**

**Now on with the show, that I don't own by the way**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"Rick," the word was barely audible between the heated kisses and attempts to take in oxygen.

"Hmmm," he tried to respond?

They had barely crossed the threshold before the passion they had been holding at bay all day flooded over. After kicking the front door shut behind him, Rick pinned Kate between himself and the nearest wall. The initial frantic movements had eventually melted into soft lingering affectionate motions as they, for the first time, savored their new relationship. They were no longer just best friends, no longer just partners, no longer just lovers; they were now husband and wife.

"My dress," she managed to squeak out before his tongue silenced the rest of her sentence.

Again, he tried to respond, "Beautiful."

Kate needed them to stop, needed to take a step back but her brain wasn't currently in charge of her actions. She finally conjured up the one word that would snap them both out of it. "Alexis"

That did the trick. Rick's head snapped to attention leaving her sucking in some much needed air. She had to laugh at the frustrated looked on his face. She could see the whine forming on his red puffy lips, "Ka-te!"

"I'm sorry… It's just," She was still having trouble putting two words together. It was as if his tongue had ripped them from hers. "Alexis wants to wear this dress some day and I can't very well tell her she can't have it because her father practically ripped it off of me on our wedding night."

Rick's hands left her hips immediately to cover his ears, "La la la la la la la."

Kate shoved his large body from hers and headed for the stairs. "I wouldn't want to deny her the chance to have it ripped off on _her_ wedding night?"

Rick's forehead met the wall in frustration and he mockingly grabbed at his chest, "Seriously Kate, keep that up and you'll be a widow before you've really had the chance to be a wife." He watched her climb the steps out of the corner of his eye before calling up after her. "Hurry back!"

Kate zipped the garment bag and hung it up. She would make sure to have it cleaned and preserved properly once they returned from their honeymoon. She enjoyed teasing Rick, but much like him, she too hoped the dress wouldn't be used anytime soon. Alexis was so young and had a lot to experience before considering marriage. On her way out of the walk-in she spotted it. She didn't know when he had had the time, but Rick had snuck in another gift. If she didn't know better she would have thought that elves were involved somehow. She picked up the box, unlike the earlier blue one; this was larger and wrapped in bright red paper with a black bow. Just like the earlier blue one; there was a card dangling from the ribbon. She slid it off and laughed.

'_If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? ~Author Unknown_

_Since my eyesight is 20/20 I can think of a few reasons. ~Richard Castle'_

She unwrapped the box expecting to find something very lacy or very small, for lack of a better word. Actually she expected it to be both. To her surprise she found a plum colored nightgown. It had spaghetti straps and the hem would fall to her mid-thigh. There was also a long robe with flowing sleeves and large pockets. Before she slipped them on she stepped into the tub and rinsed the sand from her feet and legs. She also shook out her hair hoping to get rid of any grains that the wind may have blown in. Finally she lathered on some body lotion; she chose his favorite.

On her way back downstairs she noticed the crackling of the flame before she saw the glow. Rick had started a fire in the fireplace and had moved the coffee table to the side. The living room floor was now covered in pillows and blankets. She also caught a glimpse of a picnic basket.

"Hey," She whispered in his ear as she leaned over the back of the couch to kiss his cheek. She crossed her arms on his chest and he covered them with his hands. "Pretty presumptuous don't you think?" She nodded to the items laid out on the floor.

"What? That you're going to sleep with me or that you're going to sleep with me on the floor?" He turned and kissed her cheek.

She took advantage of his move and pinched his bottom lip between her teeth before soothing it with her tongue. "That we're going to sleep at all." She did a little double eyebrow waggle to drive home the insinuation before she stood up and made her way around to sit next to him. He naturally wrapped her in his arms and peppered her head with kisses. They watched the fire in silence for a while. It was Kate that spoke first. "It was a beautiful day."

"Best ever"

"I got you one too."

"Somehow I don't think I would look so good in spaghetti straps but you know I like a quality robe."

She always appreciated the humor, but ignored it, "a song." She sat up and faced him, "I wanted to wait until we were alone."

Rick's eyes brightened, "That kinky huh?"

She slapped his chest before standing and returning to the back of the couch to retrieve the guitar she had placed there a few minutes earlier. He watched with wonder as she pulled the leather ottoman across the room and sat it directly in front of him. He knew she could sing, he suspected it the night he bought The Old Haunt and it had since been confirmed. She sang in the shower, on car rides when not working and when she thought she was alone in the kitchen. Rick would stand in the doorway of the study and watch her flit around the room chopping veggies or scooping ice cream all the while belting out the most heartwarming songs. It often took all the resolve he could muster not to give her a standing ovation. When he came across the guitar the day he unpacked her things he wondered, maybe even assumed she played but had never seen any evidence to that fact so he never thought to ask.

She could see the questioning look on his face, "My dad taught me, he's a pretty good musician. He was in a band in college. That's how he and my mom met. His band played at some sorority event." Kate's head ducked slightly, "I haven't heard him play since my mom died. I'm not sure he even does anymore." Then she looked into his eyes, "When I was young I would sit on her lap and he would sing loves songs. Most of the time they were to her but sometimes he would come up with one suited for a little girl and he would sing to me." She began to finger the strings, "I'm a little rusty so don't laugh."

Rick leaned forward on the couch and with elbows to knees he ran his fingers through her hair. When she looked to his face he gave her a wink, "Never."

Kate took a deep breath and turned her head to the left to watch her hand as she began to pluck at the strings. He followed her lead; watching her feminine but strong hand as it fingered out the chords. He knew he was grinning like a fool, but he had never heard anything so beautiful. That was until she began to sing. He had gotten so caught up in watching her strum the strings that he hadn't realized she was going to play and sing. She kept her head turned; he couldn't see her face.

"_How can I believe that my heart would find someone like you  
You see me, the real me no in bewteens, I had nowhere to hide  
You took away the walls around me made me feel safe to share my truth_

Kate's eyes shifted from her hand; apparently feeling comfortable enough in her ability to trust that her fingers no longer needed surveillance. She lifted her head but still did not meet his eyes. He watched as she closed hers. She didn't just sing the words; he could tell she was feeling them too. She began to move her foot and head to the beat as the tempo picked up slightly.

_I see the heavens open, a heart that once was broken Is holding nothing back now that I found you_  
_You hold me like a prayer, you touch me everywhere_  
_A lifetime just ain't enough to love you true_  
_Now that I found you_  
_Now that I found you_

After the chorus Kate opened her eyes and watched her husband watch her. She had been on his side of the table as a child. She could see the same look in his eyes that had been in her mother's all those years ago. Suddenly she realized that her life had come full circle. She couldn't contain the smile that over took her face.

_I do believe we're meant to be our chemistry will_

_last forever And through the years we'll see some tears we'll conquer fears_  
_And together we will grow_  
_Looking in your eyes they tell me_  
_I no longer have to feel alone_

_I see the heavens open, a heart that once was broken_  
_Is holding nothing back now that I found you_  
_You hold me like_

_a prayer, you touch me everywhere  
A lifetime just ain't enough to love you true  
Now that I found you  
Now that I found you_

_You see me, the real me you believe in me_

_I see the heavens open, a heart that once was broken_  
_Is holding nothing back now that I found you_  
_You hold me like a prayer, you touch me everywhere_  
_A lifetime just ain't enough to love you true_  
_Now that I found you_  
_Now that I found you_

Rick watched the nerves melt away and memories flood her eyes. Kate often shared stories of her childhood with him but usually, as she did, her eyes would be filled with sadness and regret. Now however, she was grinning from ear to ear. His heart soared to see her remember what was without thinking of what would never be again. His heart began to race with all the things he wanted to do. He could barely stay seated, he wanted her in his arms, wanted to hold her forever, wanted to whisper in her ear, wanted to shout from the rooftops, wanted to kiss her lips, wanted to make love to her perfect body. When her fingers stopped strumming he was on the move. He took the instrument from her hands and laid it on the couch beside him. He slipped off the cushion and knelt in front of her grabbing her hands in his.

"_One day we were brought into the world, knowing love only as being what we had for our toys, family, and friends. Then, you meet someone who alters your conception of love, and you never know how you loved anything before because this kind of love is__…" _He had never really understood the quotation he just recited to her, until now. It always seemed incomplete somehow. He always felt the need to stick an adjective on the end of it. Now he knew what had always been missing, it wasn't an adjective it was her; Kate was the completion it required.

She understood and responded simply, "I love you too."

With that his resolve was gone; he needed to feel her more desperately than he ever had. He slipped his hands up her thighs and greedily grabbed her by the waist. Her legs naturally opened to allow his body access to hers. Their lips found each other with a fierce hunger that neither was sure they could quench. Kate was glad that he had already unbuttoned his shirt; otherwise she would have had to rip them off in haste. She pulled his undershirt from his waistband and groaned when she couldn't lift it over his head.

"Kate?" Rick pulled back and gave her a wry smile. "I think we need to get rid of the dress shirt before we can remove this one." He started to shrug the button down off his shoulders but she was too quick. Before he could blink she had his top half stripped and was working on his lower. She was having as much trouble with his belt as she had with the shirts. Her impatience got the better of her so she just groped him through the fabric. His hands immediately grabbed her wrists and she looked confused. He was surprised by the lusty look in her eyes. He almost felt like prey staring into the eyes of a predator. "Oh god, you will be the death of me won't you?"

"But what a wonderful way to go," Kate plastered her body to his grinding her hips into his erection. "Come on big Rick, show me what you can do with that." She reached between their bodies and grabbed him again.

"Oh, that's the way you want to play it, huh?" He was elated that Kate was in a playful mood tonight. It only seemed appropriate; playful was what they did best.

He grabbed the belt of her robe and yanked it off feverishly. The robe and the nightgown quickly followed. Kate's hands seemed to have figured out how to undo his belt; it and his pants joined her clothes on the floor. Rick pushed her back onto the ottoman and shoved her knees apart once again and she willing spread herself for him. He sat back on his heels and just took her in. Unhappy with his hesitation Kate lifted her right foot and planted it firmly between his legs. He immediately saw stars; his body took over and he ground into the exquisite pressure she was providing.

"Kate?"

"Uh-uh Babe, you're going first tonight."

With the position she had him in; he was in no shape to argue. After a few more strokes she slid off the ottoman and in the same motion kicked it out of the way. The blankets and pillows were now the only items between them and the roaring fire. Kate took him by the shoulders encouraging him to stand. She slid his boxers down and he stepped out of them. She then steered him to the floor. Once lying flat on his back with a few pillows propped under his head Kate moved to his feet. He watched as she clawed the arches of each foot with her nails. The sensation caused his toes to curl and his arousal to jerk. She then ran her nails up his legs stopping just below his hip bones. She was straddling one of his thighs with one knee planted between his. Rick's mischievousness got the best of him and he bent his leg until his knee met the juncture between hers. She hadn't seen it coming, she was concentrating on the hair trailing from his naval to his pelvis, and she gasped with pleasure and moved her hips in a circular motion allowing his hard joint contact with her softness.

"Kate, please?" He begged and she knew what he wanted.

"No Rick, you always make it about me, let me do something for you."

Kate pressed his leg back down with a firm hand to his thigh. She moved up his body on her hands and knees. She took a nipple onto her mouth and sucked much like he normally did hers. She tickled the tender spot on the inside of his hip bone and he wiggled beneath her. Eventually she let up and made her way to his mouth. She placed her hands on each side of his face and stroked his cheek bones with her thumbs. They smiled at each other like idiots for what seemed like hours before she completely devoured his face. Her open mouth covered his lips and her tongue darted between his. Before he could respond in kind she was gone; moving down his body she again straddled his thighs and took in the length of him. He held his breath the second she took him into her hand. She slowly stroked from the base to the tip squeezing ever so gently before releasing him and repeating the action. Rick's head flew back in ecstasy and he choked out her name.

"Just tell me when you're ready Rick."

The way she was touching and stroking him was almost more than he could handle. He wanted to feel her around him now. Needed to feel the warmth, her softness, her heat. The act of pleasing him was having a similar effect on Kate. He could see the darkness of desire in her eyes while she used her free hand to touch her own erect nipple. She knew it made him crazy when she touched herself; almost as crazy as it drove him to touch her himself. He raised his hand and covered hers on her chest as she squeezed and flicked the engorged flesh. His hips jumped off the floor letting her know he was close.

"So close Kate."

He wasn't sure if he had spoken or merely grunted but she clearly understood either way. She released him from her grasp and shifted above him. She leaned forward placing her hands flat to the floor on either side of his head. Hovering just above his face she gave him one of her enchanting smiles and then eased down over his erection. She encapsulated his length slower than she ever had before. He was sure he could feel every millimeter of her as she stretched to accommodate his hardened bulk. Her pursed lips opened and she blew out a small breath as he entered her. He took pride on knowing that he filled her so completely she didn't even have room for the air in her lungs. Finally she moved above him. Her hips rotated and she sat back on her heels as she rode him. When he grabbed her hips she knew he was there and she sank down even farther. Her hands rested on his abdomen and she combed her fingers through the fine hairs once again. That final tickle sent him over and he arched into her with such force that she was lifted off the ground momentarily. Once he had emptied himself into her his weakened muscles gave out and his backside slammed against the floor. He struggled to breathe for a few minutes before he realized she was smiling down at him.

Kate watched has he came down from the peak she had brought him to. The look of shear abandonment on his face caused her heart rate to speed beyond its already rapid pace. She was still raring to go, having held out while she did for him what he always insisted he do for her first. She needed the same release but wasn't sure he would be up for it quite yet. She needed a distraction before she took matters into her own hands. Kate leaned forward and wiped the perspiration from his brow. He was coming out of the haze and his breathing was slowing. She kissed his cheeks and his chest before resting her head in the place she had just kissed. When he shifted slightly beneath her she moaned at the friction.

Without a word said Rick grabbed her around the waist and slid her off rolling her onto her side. He propped himself on his elbow and watched her a moment before he slid his hand between her thighs and slung her long leg over his hip. He ran his fingers along the inside of her leg and saw her suck her bottom lip behind her teeth in anticipation of his touch. She held her breath expecting it at any moment but he denied her; leaving it to rest just inches from the sweet spot. Instead he leaned in and took her breast into his mouth. She bent her knee trying to pull his hip closer. Her hands kneaded the back of his head holding him to her chest. His tongue played games with her nipples; soothing them only seconds after inflicting pain with his teeth. However, the ache between her legs far outweighed anything he could do to her breasts at the moment. She thought he was finally going to give her what she was begging for as she arched against him. His fingers moved on her inner thigh, but then she saw him bring them to his lips; he licked them before pressing his lips to hers. He tasted like he often did after he licked her into spasms, but he hadn't even…

"Oh, god Rick, I'm so ready." She knew he knew that already.

He teased, "_When a woman is talking to you, listen to what she says with her eyes."_

Kate gave him the glare that she usually reserved for only the hardest of criminals, "Castle!"

Any more words fell from her brain instantly as he slid two fingers into her body and pumped them a few times before slowing the pace and rubbing circles inside. His thumb covered the bundle of nerves and he felt her body respond to his touch. Kate's head dropped forward, resting it just above his heart. The build-up he was creating with such slow and deliberate movements completely zapped her ability to do anything else. Her hands lay on either side of her head. Had he been wearing a shirt it would have been bunched in the fists she was currently making against his chest. She could feel her hot breath bounce off of him and pour back over her own face. Eventually he curled his fingers forward and trapped the erect flesh between his fingers and thumb. Her whole body began to quiver and she felt him kiss the top of her head.

"Let go Kate, I've got you. I'll always be here to catch you when you fall."

With his words the tension exploded into a white hot heat that radiated from the center of her body. Every inch of flesh burned and she was covered in sweat.

Rick continued to work his fingers even as she tried to clamp her thighs tightly closed. She pulsed around his digits time and time again. She seemed to be going longer than normal so he pressed his thumb into her even more and she pressed back against him. Eventually; and much to his surprise she slipped her hand down with his and guided him. With each grind she blew air out against his chest then each blow became a tiny grunt. Suddenly he found himself ready for another round and was hoping she was up for a continuation. He didn't have to ask, she felt the evidence of his readiness pressed firmly against her hip bone.

As always it only took one word, "Castle!"

He loved it when she said his last name in bed. She grunted a few more times asking for more between each sound. She had never been shy about telling him how and when but as some taboo suggestions passed her tightened lips, he was shocked. He had never heard her use such a word. He blushed slightly but didn't hesitate to force her onto her back. He shifted his weight until he was settled over her. Naturally she wrapped her legs around his waist and he plunged in hard and fast. They were now face to face and he stroked her hair back from her eyes. She again wiped the sweat from his forehead and just below his bottom lip. Their mouths met again and his tongue mimicked the rest of him thrusting in and out.

As Rick filled her over and over she squeezed his body tighter each time. She was grateful for the thick blankets beneath her. She couldn't imagine the rug burn that would be forming with each thrust had Rick not had the forethought he did. Even so, rug burn would have been a small price to pay for the heaven she was experience at the moment. Rick had done something different tonight, she wasn't sure what but she wasn't going to question it. She savored every inch of his erection as he slid in and out. She enjoyed every flick of his tongue as he licked and tasted. Finally every nerve in her body tingled with anticipation and she clamped down around him again. Rick's own will power gave in and he collapsed on top of her has he spilled into her for the second time.

Both completely spent physically they just laid there in each other's arms. Eventually he rolled them slightly so he wouldn't crush her under his weight. They stayed wrapped in each other, completely lost in the other's touch, in the other's eyes, the other's love. At some point Rick began to caress her face and head. Kate drew circles on his chest with her fingertips. Suddenly a thought hit her.

"Hey," Her voice was soft and hoarse. "What's in the picnic basket?"

His voice sounded just as rough as hers, "Breakfast." When he saw the questioning look he explained. "I'm not tearing myself away from you any sooner than I have to; I figured making breakfast the night before would solve that problem.'

Kate smiled and tucked her head under his chin. After another twenty minutes or so she thought maybe he had fallen asleep. She looked up and saw that he was still awake. _"__You know you're in love when you don't want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."_

Rick just chuckled and kissed her forehead and pulled her in tighter. He didn't bother answering her. They were both well aware that she had quoted Dr. Seuss. He and Kate had stopped that part of their game long ago. What had started as a game of wits was now just another form of communication to them. "I think I know how we can get some sleep but still be together."

Kate snuggled in closer, "Enlighten me."

"_I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can play together all night_._" _

Kate thought about it for a second, "You've already made all my dreams come true."

"Well, then we will just have to play in mine." He tickled her side, "I have a feeling mine are better than yours anyway. After all I have made quite a good living using my imagination. Who do you want to be in my dream tonight?"

"There is this one thing that I have wanted to be for quite a while now," She could feel him holding his breath in anticipation, "Your wife."

"Katherine Beckett, I think I can handle that, in fact it won't be hard to imagine at all."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**Thank you!**


End file.
